9. Chapter Nine #3
“If you honestly believe that, then you’re blind and I feel sad for you. I tried talking to you so many times but you would push me away. You’re not a nice person, Lana. I was just trying to help.”
“Or you were just trying to get me in trouble with my husband. If I’m dead, then I’m no longer your competition and you’re free to get this role back.”
Maria shakes her head with pity in her eyes. Pity directed at me. “If you honestly believe that, you’re sad, lonely person.”
I can only blink back the sudden tears that are threatening to fall as Maria walks away and follows the other girls to the locker room. Rehearsal is over.
Everything feels like it’s over.
When I return home, I find Lev in my house. The urge to snap at him hits me but I temp it down. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting on Nikolai. We came here because he had some paperwork to get.” Lev looks me up and down in a way that makes me feel on display. Exposed like an animal in the zoo.
“I hate you,” I state simply.
“The feeling is mutual.”
Nikolai comes out of his office and stops in the foyer, looking back and forth between me and Lev. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Nothing,” I say in a clipped tone.
Nikolai looks at me for a long moment before he hands the piece of paper he’s holding to Lev. “Get this copied for me.”
Lev looks down at the paper with a furrowed brow. “Are you sure?”
“What is it?” I ask.
“None of your business,” Lev says but Nikolai shoots him a look.
“It’s my will. I need to change it. Update it after we got married.”
My breath gets caught in my throat. “Change it to… what exactly?” After today, I’m worried that Nikolai is going to cut me out of his life forever.
“I need to change it so you’ll get the house in case something were to happen to me. You’ll always receive all of my savings. I don’t want you put on the street when I’m gone.”
I blink. Despite what happened earlier, Nikolai doesn’t want to screw me over. “Nikolai…” I reach out for him but he pulls back, making me flinch.
“I’m just doing what needs to be done,” he says in a cold voice. “I should have done it sooner. The moment we were married. But I’m doing it now.” He turns to Lev and taps the paper. “Get this to my lawyer. I want copies made.”
I tense. The last thing I want is Lev messing with the will. “Maybe you should do it,” I offer to Nikolai. “I mean, it is your will after all. Shouldn’t you be the one to do it?”
“I trust Lev,” Nikolai says, patting Lev on the back. “He does all of the mundane things for me. My right hand. There’s no one I trust more.”
That feels like a sting to my face. Right now, Nikolai doesn’t trust me. Not after what Maria told him.
“Now, Lev, get that to my lawyer. I have more work to handle.” He walks right past me without a look and leaves the house.
Lev grips the will so tight in his hands, I think he’s going to rip the paper for a second. “I have worked hard at Nikolai’s side for so long and this is what I get? You get to have everything of his? It’s not fucking fair.”
I turn on my ice princess facade to protect myself. The look on Lev’s face is making my heart beat faster. “I am Nikolai’s wife after all. Deal with it.”
He storms past me. The moment he’s gone, I let myself breathe.
But the anxiety in my chest refuses to go away. Does Nikolai hate me now? Why does that bother me so much?
I spend the rest of the day walking around the house with worry. The second I hear the front door open, I rush to the foyer. Nikolai walks in with his head bowed.
“How was work?” I ask.
“You really want to know?”
I wince. “Not really.”
He nods with a heavy sigh and heads to the kitchen. I follow behind and watch him grab a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and pour himself a drink.
“Are you mad at me?” I whisper, wringing my hands together. I hate how weak and pathetic I sound so I stand up straighter and drop my hands to my sides. “It was a lie to protect myself. You told me I shouldn’t let those girls find out about my… my suicide attempt.”
Nikolai gives me a flat look. “But I didn’t tell you to tell them that I’m the one who did that to you either. I’m disappointed in you, Lana. You embarrassed me today. Made others think that I abuse you. “
“You’re a mafia man. A lot of mafia men abuse their wives. It’s more common than not. What’s the big deal?” I realize the second I say it how wrong I am.
“What’s the big deal? The big deal is that I don’t abuse you and I don’t like lies being made up about me.”
“You lied to me when you told me you killed Claudia.”
“Because I didn’t kill her. Lev did. There’s a difference.”
I scoff. “Semantics. You had her killed. You don’t get to stand on a moral high ground over me.
I messed up, ok? I shouldn’t have told those girls that you were the one to hurt me.
I am sorry. But I am not sorry for doing what I had to do.
Those girls are vultures as you said. I was just protecting myself. ”
“By throwing me under the boss. I see where your priorities lie. You care more about some silly girls than your husband.”
“Those silly girls have known me a lot longer than you have,”
“And yet, they all treat you like shit. Whereas I have only ever treated you like how you want. To better you.”
“Tying me to the bed is what I wanted?”
He gives me a pointed look. “You need my command, Lana. It’s dripping off you. You’re desperate for it. You want to let go with me but you’re holding back. Don’t pretend otherwise.”
I open my mouth to object but he’s right. This is what I wanted.
Nikolai throws back his whiskey and sets the glass down hard.
“Are you going to stay mad at me forever?” I ask as a sinking feeling hits my gut.
“Not forever. But just for right now. I’m going to have dinner and then go to bed. It’s been a long day.”
We eat separately and when we go to bed, Nikolai doesn’t hold me in his arms like he did last night. He sleeps with his back to mine. An invisible wall between us.