12. Chapter Twelve #3
“Lana knows why.” Ana clearly hasn’t told the other girls that my husband was behind Claudia’s death. It’s fear keeping her silent.
“My husband didn’t do this.”
She huffs. “I don’t believe you. Your husband is a murderer. He probably killed her to get rid of the competition for you. It’s happened before. How many of us will he kill before you’re all alone on stage?”
“What are you even talking about?” Ekaterina says. “Ana, we don’t know who murdered Maria. Don’t throw accusations around.”
“Lana knows I’m right. And that’s all I need.” Ana throws me a smug grin that makes me so angry, I can’t contain myself.
All I can see is Maria’s murder. The bullet between her eyes. The way I had to sit by her dead body for hours and screamed and screamed until I couldn’t scream anymore.
It makes me crack all over again.
With a feral scream, I run at Ana and push her to the ground. Her head smacks into the hardwood.
The entire room goes silent.
Ana lays there, blinking at the ceiling before she touches the back of her head. Her fingers come away with blood. “You… bitch.” Her voice is slurred.
“What the fuck, Lana?” Ekaterina gasps.
The entire room full of ballerinas all stare at me with shock.
“You don’t know anything,” I say to them all, including Ana. “You don’t know anything.”
Camille comes into the room and rushes to Ana’s side. “What happened?” She helps Ana into a seated position but it’s clear that Ana isn’t doing too well. “I need to get you to the hospital. What happened?”
“Lana pushed Ana,” one of the girls, Eliza, says. She was always quiet as a mouse. Why couldn’t she be quiet right now?
Camille shoots me a look as she gets Ana to her feet. “Lana, you and I will talk about this later. Tomorrow, see me in my office.” She ushers Ana out of the room.
All the fight in me disappears and I collapse to the ground, landing on my hip. It hurts but I like the pain. The pain helps remind me that I’m still alive. I’m still here.
“Why would you do that?” Ekaterina asks. “I mean, I know Ana is a bitch but seriously… You sounded like a banshee when you pushed her.”
“She doesn’t know anything,” I mutter. “None of you do. My husband didn’t kill Maria and I don’t want to hear any of you accuse him of that ever again.”
“Ok,” Ekaterina squeaks. It’s then that I realize she’s scared… of me.
Have I become the big, bad monster I once thought Nikolai to be?
With a gasp, I run from the dance studio and Boris takes me home without a word but I can tell he’s worried for me. It’s not his place though. He’s just my driver.
It doesn’t surprise me when Nikolai returns home, looking angry. I wait for him in the foyer on my knees. Waiting for the punishment that I need.
He’s surprised to see me like this but he doesn’t comment on it.
Instead, he walks around me like a cat stalking its prey.
“I heard what happened at your dance practice today. Your instructor called me when she said she tried to call you and couldn’t get a hold of you. You pushed that girl and she got hurt.”
“She said you were the reason Maria was dead. It bothered me.”
“I can see that.” He stops walking and stands tall before me. I keep my chin to my chest. “I know you’re struggling right now, Lana. But you cannot act like this. Are you happy being like this?”
“No,” I admit as all the air leaves my body.
“Then I’ll help you take your pain away. Go to the living room and lean over the side of the couch.”
I can’t help the tingle of excitement that courses through my body. What is wrong with me?
I do as Nikolai instructs. He stands behind me, not moving. My backside is in the air. I need him to punish me for what I did. I need him to tell me that everything will be ok.
He rips my pants and tights down all in one go. My underwear is just a flimsy piece of fabric that he makes fast work with. Then I’m bare before him.
I hold still and bite my lip. Both dread and excitement register in my lower belly.
I hear the crack before I feel it. Nikolai’s large hand connects with my backside, causing pain to radiate down my body. But it’s the kind of pain I need. The kind that gives me the release I’m so desperate for.
“You will be better than this,” he says, spanking me again.
I arch my back into his hand. “Please.”
“I think you want this too much for this to be a punishment.” But he still spanks me anyway.
Each hit of his strong hand sends tingles through my body. It awakens me. Focuses me. Helps heal me.
Healing through pain might not make sense to some but for me, it’s the only thing that makes sense. I have been in pain for most of my life. It could only be pain that could help me out of it.
Nikolai spanks me harder and harder. My cries become louder and louder.
When he spanks me for the last time, I slump over the couch as he steps back. My brain has found its release.
Nikolai places his hand over my pussy. “You’re wet for me.” His thumb finds my nub and he flicks it. My cries turn to moans as I buck my hips into his hand.
“You needed this, didn’t you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” I gasp out, clutching the couch like I might die otherwise.
“You don’t have to struggle so much. Just let go. I know you can do it.” He rubs his palm over my nub again and again. That familiar sensation enters my stomach. The tingles spread throughout my body.
“It’s hard,” I whimper.
“I know. I know it’s hard. But you can do it. Let go for me, Lana. Let go for me.”
He rubs me faster and I grind my hips down harder. I’m shameless right now. All I care about is Nikolai’s hand on my body, showing me pleasure after the pain.
“You told me to claim all of you,” he says. “So trust me. Give in to me. You know it’s the only way.”
“Nikolai,” I gasp as my orgasm quickly washes over me. I gasp and shake, feeling like I’m going to die for a moment before reality comes back. I slump over the couch, catching my breath.
He keeps his hand on my pussy, a silent claim. “I will take all of your body soon. I can promise you that. But I will always claim your mind and soul. Don’t forget that.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “Yes. Please. Help me. Please help.”
Nikolai sighs and pulls my panties back into place before fixing my tights and pants. “Come here.” He picks me up and carries me to our bed where he sets me down gently. With a kiss on my forehead, Nikolai is telling me that he has me.
That he’ll handle anything that comes my way.