12. Chapter Twelve #2
Adriana huffs and flops onto Elena’s bed. “Well, you could never get me to marry a man like that. I’m not that pathetic.”
My spine stiffens. “Are you calling me pathetic?”
“If the shoe fits.”
“Why are you being a bitch to me right now?”
“Language,” Adriana mocks.
I could hit her but I hold back. “Answer my question.”
“Does it matter? You’re gone. You’re not around anymore. It doesn’t matter what you think.”
“Are you upset that I’m not here? It’s not like I had a choice.”
“But you did!” She jumps to her feet. “You could have ran away. You could have chosen to not marry that man. Father has made it very clear that Nikolai is an asshole.”
“And you believe everything Father says?”
“He’s our father, so yes.”
“You’re his favorite,” I say. “That’s why you listen to him. And don’t believe everything he says about my husband. You’re not there. You don’t know anything.”
“I am not a baby anymore, Lana. I know plenty of things. Don’t talk down to me.”
“Stop fighting,” Elena says, literally placing herself between us. “Please. Lana doesn’t get the chance to come over often. I don’t want to waste it fighting. Please.”
Adriana throws a glare in my direction. “Stop being a bitch and then I’ll forgive you.”
“Only when you stop being a bitch first.”
“Enough,” Elena says. “Please. Stop. Adriana, please leave. I want to talk to Lana. Alone.”
“Why do you two always push me out?” she whines as she runs from the room.
“She’ll be fine,” Elena says. “Adriana is treated like a princess around here.”
“Maybe she shouldn’t be. She’s getting more spoiled.”
“Well, since you’re not here to direct Father’s attention, he’s put it even more on Adriana. Spoiling her more.”
“And treating you even worse, I take it.”
Elena sucks in a breath and turns to her desk before composing herself. “Just three more years of college to go and then I can get my own job and be out of here.”
I pat her shoulder but it’s awkward. We were never ones for much physical affection. “Elena, you’re a mafia daughter. There’s a chance you’ll never get out.”
“I really didn’t need to hear that right now.”
“I know but I need you to be prepared. Father will probably find a man for you to marry. Your fate will be mine. Adriana, despite her protests, will share the same fate. I’ll help in any way that I can.
I want you to get your degree. Use that big brain of yours.
And maybe you’ll be able to get out. Maybe you can find a man of your own and that will please Father.
I don’t want you to give up but I also want you to be prepared.
How has your body been? Since the accident? ”
The accident that Nikolai caused.
She faces me again. “I’ve been fine. Sometimes I get really sore but then I just exercise and it goes away.”
“That’s good.”
Elena’s eyes sweep over my face and it feels like she can see into my soul. My sister was always good at reading me. “Father keeps saying that Nikolai is controlling you. Is that true?”
“Yes and no. Not in the way you think. He doesn’t stop me from going anywhere.
But he does tell me what to do. What to wear and what to eat.
And honestly, Elena, it’s freeing. He did that for me this morning and for the first time in a long time, I just didn’t have to think.
I didn’t have to worry. It’s really nice. ”
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Just stay safe, Lana. Please.”
The sound of the front door opening makes me tense. Elena stiffens when we hear the sound of our father’s voice echo through the house.
It doesn’t take long for Elena’s door to burst open and for our father to stand there, glaring at me. “What are you doing here? You should go back home to your husband.” He grabs my arm and practically throws me out of the room.
“What are you doing?” Elena asks.
“Stay out of this,” he snaps at her. She flinches and turns inward on herself. My shy, sad sister.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” I hiss.
Father turns his cold eyes onto me. “I made a peace deal with your husband. I don’t need you ruining that by letting him think you’re running away again.
I don’t need him blaming me for that. He came over to my house and accused me of hiding you here.
I was offended. He should treat me with more respect.
But he’s always looked down at me. Go. Now. I can’t stand the sight of you.”
“You’re a horrible father,” I say.
He raises his hand high but stops himself from hitting me.
“And you’re a disappointing daughter. Your mother told me that you got the lead role in Swan Lake.
When we go to your show, you better do a good job.
I don’t want a repeat of your other performance when no one clapped. It was humiliating for me.”
“I am sorry I’m not perfect. And one of the girls in my company had just died. It’s why no one clapped. Not because I’m a terrible dancer. Get your facts straight before you blame me for anything more.”
“You don’t get to come into my home and talk to me this way.”
“Then it’s a good thing I don’t live in your home anymore. My husband is twice the man you are.”
I can see the utter anger on my father’s face right before he smacks me. His hit is a lot harder than my mother’s. It makes me stumble into the wall. The pain is radiating up my face.
His eyes widen. “Lana…”
I storm away from him before he can hurt me even more. The memory of what Lev did to me hits me in the stomach and I double over, vomiting. Mother looks aghast but before she can scold me, I run from the house.
“Lana?” Boris asks, waiting by the car.
“Just take me home,” I gasp out, practically throwing myself into the back seat.
He shoots a bewildered look in my parents direction as they stand in the doorway before getting into the car. “What happened? Why is your face all red? Did someone hit you?
“Just take me home.”
Boris does his duty to me. The moment I’m home, I go to the bedroom and curl into a ball on the bed. That’s how Nikolai finds me.
He storms into the room and walks right over to me and grips my chin, forcing my face up. “You have a bruise on your cheek. Did your father do this to you?”
I tense. “What did Boris say?”
“He told me he took you to your parents’ house and then you came out with a red face. And now you have a bruise. Did someone hit you?”
“My mother loves to smack me. She’s done it countless times.”
“And your father?”
I bite my lip and Nikolai nods, turning away from me. His back is pure tension. “Your father did this to you, didn’t he? That fucker.”
“You made a peace deal with him, Nikolai. You can’t kill him for this.”
He huffs as he points his finger at me. “You are to never go back there again. I don’t want you getting hurt. Is that understood?”
“But my sisters…”
“They can come here.”
“My father will never allow that. I can only see them if I go to them.”
“I am sorry, Lana. But you are to never go back to your parents’ house. Not when they have shown to be shitty parents. I will not let you get hurt again. Not after what Lev –,” he stops himself.
“Have you killed him yet?”
He sighs, his shoulders dropping. “He’s in hiding. I can’t find him. He knows he fucked up and he knows I’ll kill him. But I’m looking. I promise you that.”
“So Lev could show back up and kidnap me again?”
Nikolai cups my face between his hands. His large, strong hands that have saved my life and have shown me pleasure. “I will not let that happen. I promise. I will protect you.”
“You show me kindness and then you take it away. I can’t bear the thought of never seeing Elena again. Don’t do this to me, Nikolai. Please.”
“Your father is a bad man. I do not trust you with him. You will not go back there. I have told Boris to refuse to take you to your parents’ house ever again.”
“Please,” I whisper as tears fall from my eyes. Another crack. Lev already broke me and I was trying to piece myself back together again but that has all changed now. I’m not sure I can ever fully heal from everything that has happened.
Nikolai’s eyes show regret but they also show a firmness that means he’s resolved. “I am sorry, Lana. I am not doing this to punish you. I am doing this because I will not stand back and let you be hurt. You will listen to me. You know this is for the best.”
Deep down, I know. My parents are cold hearted people who have only ever hurt me. I’m glad to never go back there. But it means giving my sisters up and I’m not sure if I can handle that.
“Please,” I sob as I lay back onto the bed, curling into a ball.
Instead of promising more words to me, Nikolai gets into the bed and wraps his arms around me from behind. “I know you’re struggling right now after what happened. But you will see in time that this is for the best.”
Nikolai holds me as I cry.
Dance rehearsal the next day is tense. I can feel it the second I walk through the door. Somehow even more tense than usual.
I set my dance bag down and stare at the other girls as they all chatter. “What’s going on?” I ask.
Ekaterina comes over. “Did you hear? Maria is dead.”
The fact that they already know sends me stumbling back. “Maria is…”
“Dead. Yes. Apparently she was murdered.”
I swallow heavily. “Murdered?” My lips feel chapped. My head feels woozy. My feet feel like cement.
“She was found in her car with a bullet hole in her head. Her parents are devastated. No one has any idea who did this to her.”
“The police?” I ask through my numb lips.
She shrugs. “I haven’t heard anything but you know the police. They can’t reveal information while they’re investigating. The funeral is happening this week. At least that’s what I heard.”
Ana takes this opportunity to stroll over. “I can’t believe Maria was murdered. Oh wait. Actually, I can. Did your husband do this?”
It’s then that I remember I told Ana that Nikolai was responsible for Claudia’s death. Of course Ana would think this was him. Even though Nikolai didn’t pull the trigger, Maria’s death is still connected to my husband. Connected to me.
Maria’s murder is seared into my brain.
“Why would you ask that?” Ekaterina says.