Chapter 20 Realm of Darkness #2
I gaze up at them, the warmth of her shoulder pressed into me, until I can’t stand not looking at her any longer.
I fear she’ll vanish for another hundred years if I look away for too long.
“They believe in you the way I do, Nora. Not one of them has ever given up hope that you will return and shine light back into the world.”
She looks at me for a moment, her eyes softening as they meet mine, then she leans back on her hands and kicks her legs out in front of her, enjoying the show above us.
“Where are they going? God, they’re beautiful.
” Her words are a breathless whisper that grips my heart and brings my eyes straight back to her.
“So beautiful,” I whisper, not bothering to avert my gaze as she catches me watching her and not my people, instead smiling in confirmation as realization flashes in her eyes.
“When the sun goes down everyone goes home. We never lived in darkness before. There was only light. Ever since that light was taken, people feel uneasy staying out past sunset. I guess it feels wrong in a way, to imagine thriving in darkness. It’s what we’re taught to fear more than anything. ”
“They’re terrified of their own home. How sad.
” She looks back up and then closes her eyes, crossing one ankle over the other as the celestials make their way out of the city.
“But you aren’t afraid, Kairos?” Her chest slowly rises and falls, her shoulders relaxed and unbothered though her heart suddenly races.
I shake my head but my breath catches because denying that I’m afraid is a godsdamned lie. I might not fear darkness the same way the other celestials do, but I’m terrified of it ripping us apart again. Mostly, I fear only what it might do to her.
“I live and breathe to fight darkness. To extinguish it not only here, but everywhere.” I run a hand through my hair to push the tousled waves out of my eyes, but the wind sweeps it right back into my face.
“I am the son of the rulers of the celestial realms. The commander of the Dark Legion of Warriors. For my realm, I’ve had to learn to be strong.
To show no fear. To be brave no matter what.
” Gazing down at the city streets, I focus on my soldiers as they change shifts, some of them preparing for a long night ahead of guarding our people.
“If I show fear, the whole realm will. If I panic, so will they. I have no choice but to control my emotions and lock my feelings away,” I admit as the celestial light from the streetlamps below flicker on.
“Pain and fear won’t keep a realm from crumbling. Only strength and courage will.”
She turns toward me, her sapphire eyes locking with mine and refusing to let me go.
“Kairos, no one should have to always pretend to be strong and fearless. It’s okay to be scared.
I’m sure they would understand if you told them you were.
That’s a lot of pressure you put on yourself to be perfect, but it’s okay to not be. ”
I can’t admit the truth, how every moment is tainted by my fear of what her future might hold.
I huff a laugh, shaking my head. “I am far from perfect, Nora. I spiraled after the war. When you died, I…” Pulling my knees up, I lean my elbows across them, closing my eyes and forcing the pain down deep.
“I nearly destroyed cities and realms along with the trust of the Realm of Light because my power raged from all the anger and fear I let consume me. I almost ruined everything. I chose to never let fear rule me again.”
She straightens and her eyebrows slant, her energy swirling with too many emotions to decipher. “What happened after the war with Nyx? Why did I need to create this realm for you? Why can’t everyone just live together in peace?”
I hate talking about this. Thinking about these impossible things.
Peace. Unity. It was the reason she was created, a piece of each realm to unite them all, and it all royally went to shit as soon as Nyx set her sights on her power.
There’s no hope for unity now, not after what The Queen of The Underworld has done.
“No one truly knows what happened that day. Only that as we fell to Earth, the light faded from our wings.” Clenching my jaw, I pull myself to my feet, helping her up with me.
“All I know for sure is the gods turned their backs on us that day and then abandoned us entirely. We can’t even remember their names now.
It’s as if they never even existed. Some believe it was destiny, something that was always bound to happen.
” I stand and turn my back to the city, then pause, glancing back at her.
“I believe it was Nyx who did this to us.”
She shakes her head as she rises and then comes to my side. “Nyx? How could she do that? She isn’t a god. And what would be the purpose of changing your wings?”
I shrug weakly. “We wanted unity more than anything. We wanted the war with darkness to end. She saw it as an opportunity to divide us.” I reach for her hand, and she comes to me, slipping her silky palm into mine.
“I believe as her dark power surged that day on the battlefield, it corrupted us. How much it damaged us, I’m unsure of, but I felt something change within myself as darkness wrapped around me.
The icy numbness crawled along my skin, and the stench of evil forced its way into my soul, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
That moment is when the Gods cast us out of the Realm of Light.
We could never go home. She broke us. Maybe even more than we know. ”
Her fingers twitch, a tremor running through her as she grips my hand tighter.
“That’s how I felt the night on the bridge.
And in the lake, I felt it all, too. The darkness, the cold touch of numbness, the stench of evil—oh my god.
I’m so sorry if it’s true, that Nyx did this to you.
To your people. All because of me. Because of her hunger for my power. ”
Her guilt kills me. My bleeding heart cries out for her to understand that it was all worth it, because even if my soul wound up withered and tormented, if it had been lost to eternal darkness or shot into oblivion instead, at least it would have died protecting her. It would have still been worth it.
I can’t tell her that, though, the intensity of that truth too much to admit yet without her remembering how deep and passionate our love was, so I simply smile and send waves of warm light and comfort into her heart.
“None of this is your fault. The Dark Legion and I chose to protect you. All of it was for you, Nora, not because of you.”
Tucking wind tossed strands of hair behind her ears, she smiles and then chews on her bottom lip.
“So, what do we do now? Now that I’m here and safe from Nyx for the time being, what’s the plan?
” Her eyes roam over the city, admiring the dreary but beautiful landscape now engulfed by darkness and starlight.
“For now,” I tell her, stepping closer and brushing her hair behind her shoulders. “All you need to worry about is getting rest.”
“And where exactly will we be resting?” She stiffens.
“My home.” Smiling, I wrap my arms around her waist and she gasps as I pull her against me.
It could be our home one day. If we find a way out of this mess and a way for her to remember me, we could spend countless happy centuries in it together. I would never want to leave.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes glimmer with nervous excitement as they linger on my lips.
“It’s easier to fly.” Spreading my wings out wide, I crouch and prepare to take flight. “We don’t have vehicles here because we—”
“Have wings, right.” She nods, taking in the height of the sprawling hills surrounding us and the city far below.
I can only assume she’s imagining falling to her death.
“I won’t let fear rule me.” Taking a deep breath, she pins her eyes to me.
“I’m not afraid. Not with you.” She wraps her arms around me and then rests her head on my chest. “Is this okay?”
Her warmth encases me in a way that lets me pretend for a moment she’s mine, and I am whole again at last. I’ve missed this. Gods, I’ve missed her.
“This is perfect,” I whisper, savoring the feel of her against me. “As long as you feel safe.”
She doesn’t lift her head, but she squeezes me even tighter. “I would feel safer if you carried me. Can you, please?”
Her heartbeat is as wild and erratic as mine, hers from mostly fear, and mine from the thrill of holding my long-lost love again. Swooping her up, I gently cradle her in my arms, and she smiles and relaxes against me.
“Better?” I ask nervously, afraid I’ve gone too far.
“Yes. Better,” she whispers, burying her face in my shoulder, her palms pressed firmly against my back.
I want nothing more than for Nora to feel safe with me but holding her now isn’t only about her.
It’s about my safety, too. Leaping into the air, the thunderous clap of my wings is nothing compared to the roar of my heart that at last feels safe again.
I have hope that we’ll get her memories back to her and hope that she will love me.
In this moment, I want to scream into the heavens so the whole world can hear how my love for her has never and will never die.
I will always have hope for her and I.