CHAPTER 23
Lena stepped inside the dark home, waiting for Gauge to turn the lights on before she walked over to sit on a couch.
She breathed in, picking up a light, lemony scent.
This was nothing like the filthy place the elders had taken them to.
The walls inside were painted soft white, the furniture all clean and well-made, the flooring covered in shiny hardwood.
She watched Gauge kneel by the fireplace, arranging kindling before lighting a flame.
It made her think about what the voice had said earlier about the possibility of her producing fire now. If only she knew how. She wondered if the voice would ever return.
Once Gauge had the fire built, he stood and walked over to take a seat across from her, his expression impossible to read.
These Hunters gave nothing away of what they were thinking, their eyes as empty as their expressions.
Jax had been exactly the same. The exception had been Gauge when he’d entered the elder’s cabin.
Lena had never felt anything like it, and truthfully, hoped to never feel it again.
She knew Gauge had protected her and Teo from the worst of it, but he didn’t block it all.
His anger, his rage, had felt like sharp pinpricks against her bare skin.
Lena couldn’t imagine what the elders must have gone through.
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, Lena. My anger was never directed at you. I have no excuse for my poor control.”
“I know you would never purposely hurt me.” She paused before she asked, “Why do you think Teo allowed the elders to take us? I know he could have called to you for help when they first pulled a weapon on us.”
“He wanted to prove a point.”
“Which was?” she said, frustrated when he didn’t elaborate.
“Teo believes you are my mate. He will consider my actions, my loss of control when you were placed in danger, as proof.”
“He thinks I’m your mate because you developed a shaprata. You took my abaci from Ngozi and kept it within yourself.” She paused before asking, “What do you think is happening, Gauge? Are you my true mate?”
He didn’t immediately answer, as if forced to stop to think about it. “I’ve tried to deny this is the case, but there can be no denying my body created a shaprata and it is maturing.”
He only mentioned the shaprata, ignoring her second question.
Why did his voice sound so empty? Did he find the idea of mating a lowly serpent female abhorrent?
Or maybe it was just her he didn’t want.
Lena tried not to feel hurt as she said, “I know you are considered a powerful Hunter on your world. I would understand if you didn’t want me.
Perhaps there is another female you could claim, someone stronger, someone not emotionally damaged. ”
Lena’s heart began to beat a little faster when Gauge stood and walked over to her, dropping to one knee.
He put his large hands on each side of her thighs, staring intently into her eyes.
“Lena, we are all flawed, all damaged, in one way or another. It is how we deal with life’s hardships that establishes who we really are.
” He reached out to take her hand, brushing his fingers gently along her pale yellow scales, following the faint diamond abaci pattern, a match to his own.
“What Ngozi did to you is unforgivable, but you don’t have to let it ruin the rest of your life.
You are in control of where your life goes from this point forward.
You and no one else will make a decision about what you do or don’t do.
When you are ready, I can take you back to your father’s clan, or you can remain here, possibly join Aeson’s clan.
Raif is not likely to object if you preferred to remain here with the cat shifters for a while.
Or Rafa and Aaliyah can take you to Liore to see if the healers there can help you, as they helped Aaliyah.
I can arrange a shuttle for them to use. ”
Lena sighed, curling her hand around his. Such strength in this male. It was hard for her to believe he’d ever been damaged. “And what if I don’t find any of those options appealing?”
“Then tell me what you do want, and I’ll do my best to see it happens.”
“What if I want to stay with you, Gauge? What if I want you to sting me with your shaprata?”
Gauge stared at her a moment, then softly sighed. “I’m trying my best to give you a choice. I don’t want you to stay with me out of some sense of obligation. When Abby asked me to help you escape Ngozi’s claim, I had no intention of tying you to me. I meant only to free you.”
“I know that.” Lena reached up to brush her fingers across the swelling beneath his jaw. “If you had known what would happen then, would it have changed anything?”
He smiled, and it changed his whole face, making him come across softer, younger. Lena didn’t think she’d ever seen Gauge smile before, not really. Even the empty coldness always present in his eyes had warmed.
“I am an arrogant male, Lena. I have lived for thousands of years, seen more than you could possibly imagine. Even if I’d been warned ahead of time, I would not have believed something like this could happen.
In our very long history, Laizahlian have only ever been given one mate, their eillelé.
Mine died. There has never been a reason for me to believe I could be given a second chance. Until now.”
Would he embrace this second chance now, or turn it away? Would she?
Lena leaned forward and pressed her cheek against his, her fingers still stroking the swelling beneath his jaw.
“Are you going to sting me with your shaprata, Gauge?” She couldn’t stop the small shiver of anticipation that raced down her spine.
Ngozi’s sting had not been especially painful.
It’s what followed that still haunted her in nightmares.
Gauge would never force her. And even if he did want sex right away, she already loved him.
There was no need to wait for the shaprata to work its magic.
But what if she couldn’t please him sexually?
What if she stiffened and turned away when he tried to touch her?
Gauge leaned back, lifting her chin with his fingers, his green eyes once again serious.
“I’m going to be honest with you, Lena. You deserve nothing less.
We know what happens when a Raiden warrior stings a female.
It changes her DNA, making her compatible for procreation. She basically becomes Raiden.”
Lena knew where he was going with this. “But you aren’t Raiden. You don’t know what will happen if you sting me.”
“I may have picked up some Raiden DNA when I stripped Ngozi of your abaci, but it wasn’t enough to change my basic metabolism.
I’m Laizahlian, Lena. Vampire. We can’t know what will happen if I try to claim you.
This is not a decision to be made lightly.
My DNA will change you on some level, just as a Raiden male changes the females they claim.
Conversion must be considered, and I have no idea how a serpent female might handle a bloodlust. You would be the first.”
“Are you only worried about me, Gauge? Don’t.
Nothing that happens can be worse than what I faced with Ngozi.
You should be more worried about what might happen to you.
” She reached out to trace the faint yellow abaci pattern on the outside of his neck.
The diamond pattern showed up much darker on Raiden warriors.
Would the color grow darker on Gauge after he claimed her?
“I’m not worried about my own safety. I can handle whatever I receive from you. But the bloodlust is a terrible thing, Lena. It can bring even the strongest of Hunters to their knees. I would not wish this burden on you.”
“I know it sounds odd, because I’ve been afraid of everything for so long now, but I’m not now. We don’t even know if it will happen. You could be worried for no reason. But if it does, I know you’ll be here to help me through it.”
“Lena, I need to know why you would consider this now. You have shown no interest in being close to any males after your experience with Ngozi. If you become my mate, I would want to be more than just your protector.”
“You mean you would want sex.”
Gauge took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.
“Sex is but a small part of it. A true mate is someone you share everything with. Everything I am, everything I own, will become yours. I will open my heart to you, something I have never done with anyone else, not even Teo. You will become the only person in the universe who can truly hurt me. If you only want a protector, I can offer you this without claiming you as my mate.”
Lena took her time to answer. She knew Gauge deserved only honesty, but she needed to be honest with herself first. “Before Ngozi claimed me, I had never experienced real fear before. I never learned how to deal with it. I’m the daughter of the alpha of our clan.
Nobody messed with the alpha or those he loved.
But my father also taught me to be independent, to be bold when faced with a challenge.
” She chuckled, but there was nothing funny about it.
“Perhaps too bold. It’s why I didn’t fear Ngozi when he first started to approach me. ”
“So he didn’t just take you?”
“No. We used to meet in an area where I gathered berries in the fall. It was on the edge of the Raiden border to Leviathan lands, but my father trusted me not to ever cross it. And I didn’t.
We spoke across a wide creek that separated our lands.
Ngozi told me about his exciting adventures in space.
He spoke of other worlds and how he would like to take me to see them. He made me feel special.”
“Didn’t your father assign a guard?”