CHAPTER 23 #2
“Yes, of course, but Raven agreed to remain quiet about my meetings with Ngozi as long as I agreed to never cross the border.” Lena couldn’t meet Gauge’s knowing eyes when she told him the next part.
“One day Ngozi asked me if I wanted to take a short ride with him into space, to experience it for myself. After so many days of trying to envision it, I jumped at the chance. He promised to bring me right back. And I trusted him. I was such a stupid, arrogant little female.”
“You were young, Lena, inexperienced. Ngozi knew how to manipulate you. Try not to be so hard on yourself.”
“If it had just me who got hurt, I might be able to handle what followed better. My personal guard was an older male. He loved me like one of his own family, and I used his affection to get my way. Except it didn’t work in this one area.
He refused to budge when I said I wanted to cross the creek.
Ngozi convinced me to come anyway. We made a plan.
Ngozi would pretend to leave so Raven would relax his guard, then I waited for him to be distracted to run across the creek.
Raven immediately shifted to his battle form to come after me, but Ngozi was ready for him.
” She sniffled, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
“He had a warship cloaked and waiting. He killed my guard. My friend. And it was all my fault.”
“And afterward?”
“You know what happened. Ngozi changed. He didn’t even try to soothe my anger or hurt over his betrayal. He forced me into his warship and flew me into space, where we entered the bigger ship.”
“And he claimed you.”
“Yes. And what made it all worse was learning Ngozi meant to use me to try to enslave all serpents again. I would not have survived if not for Abby and Nicolai rescuing me. I would have found a way to kill myself before I let that monster hurt my people.” Abby was Samantha’s sister, though Abby was Raiden now and Samantha a serpent.
No one understood how it had happened, only that it did.
Aaliyah suspected Abby and Samantha’s genes had been manipulated by Djinn, just as her own had been changed by Ngozi, but no one knew the purpose behind it.
“After all that, why would you agree to go through another claiming? If you accepted a serpent as your mate, you would not need to be stung. You wouldn’t need to worry about facing a possible painful conversion.”
“When Abby and Nicolai first brought me back to the Raiden palace, I didn’t want any other males around me, not even Nicolai.
I couldn’t fathom ever letting another male get close to me.
Abby knew I might not ever recover, so she called you to try to help me.
I admit, you were my savior at first, a patient voice in the dark to help guide me through the nightmares, but then slowly, over time, you became much more than that.
I feel like I can tell you anything and you won’t judge me. You’re my best friend, and yet . . .”
“And yet?”
She paused, refusing to look at him when she finally said, “I’m worried I won’t be able to satisfy you.
I know you would never hurt me on purpose, but I .
. . didn’t like what happened between Ngozi and me after he claimed me.
I’ve heard other females talk about sex with their mates, or with lovers, but what they described and what I experienced couldn’t possibly be the same. He hurt me. He enjoyed hurting me.”
Gauge rose gracefully and took a seat beside Lena, putting his arm around her.
“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to you sexually.
It is part of what convinced me that you are my true mate.
I experimented with sex after my eillelé was killed, but it never really interested me.
In fact, I can’t even remember the last time I was intimate with anyone.
What I’m trying to say, Lena, is that even though you have awoken this part of me, I am a patient male.
We will be intimate when you are ready, not before. ”
She snuggled into his side, laying her head against his powerful chest. It soothed her to listen to his strong heartbeat against her ear.
“I’ve heard it said that most females become more physically attracted to Raiden males after they are stung with a shaprata.
Maybe that will be the case with me.” Though it hadn’t been the case with Ngozi.
“Perhaps,” Gauge replied, “but it is not something I want you to worry about. I will never pressure you for sex, Lena. It will happen when you are ready, not before.”
“What is it like to be a vampire? Do you really think that will happen to me?”
“It is a possibility we can’t afford to ignore. Once I reconnect with Neyvarre and Kimberly, she can tell you what it was like to be converted. You can decide then if you want to risk going through it.”
“She was human before?”
“Yes, or mainly human. She did carry Laizahlian DNA, though we didn’t know it before the rogue converted her. She probably would not have survived if she’d been fully human.”
“So it wasn’t her mate who converted her?”
“No, and she suffered more than was necessary because of it.”
“What happens to those females who are fully human?”
“All those who are converted experience great pain as their blood is destroyed and their internal organs manipulated. It is a terrible thing to witness. At the same time, they form a bloodlust. It is necessary for them to replace the blood being destroyed. We do not digest blood as you or a human would. Instead, it is absorbed and carried throughout the body. After three days, the transformation is complete, but they must still learn control over their bloodlust. Full humans are unable to do this. They are driven insane and will kill anything that crosses their path.”
“Is that what you think will happen to me?” When Gauge didn’t immediately answer, Lena lifted her head to look into his eyes, finding him thoughtful. “Gauge?”
“I can’t be certain about anything right now, but even if the shaprata does start the conversion process, you are not human. You should be strong enough to overcome the pain and bloodlust. And I will be there to help you through it.”
Lena thought back to the voice in her head. She’d said Gauge needed to claim her. He needed to sting her with his shaprata before her full powers could be used. Did she mean the powers of a vampire, or the powers of a serpent?
“What are you thinking about?” Gauge asked as Lena laid her head back against his chest.
Part of Lena didn’t want to tell him. What if he used it as an excuse not to claim her?
But true mates were honest with one another.
They didn’t hold secrets or try to manipulate, not like Ngozi had done.
Lena sighed before she said, “Back at the old cabin, the one the elders took us to, I heard an unfamiliar voice in my head.”
Gauge’s posture didn’t change, nor did he appear bothered by her comment, almost as if he already knew. “What did she say?”
Lena glanced up for a moment before resting her head back on his chest. “How did you know it was a female?”
“Tell me what she said first.”
“She said she did something to me while we were going through folded space, though I think she called it a wormhole. She said serpent females used to be able to shift into a battle form and create fire, but our males wanted us more submissive and eventually bred it out of us. She said she opened that part of me, but I would need to let her inside my head to show me how it works.”
“But you didn’t. Why?”
“I . . . I didn’t completely trust her. I don’t know why.”
“I strongly suspect she was Djinn. They were somehow able to take control of our ship and crew when we entered folded space. It’s why we lost time. Lena, she will try to use you against me. You were right not to trust her. What else did she tell you?”
“That I needed to convince you to claim me. That only when we were fully bonded would my full power come into play.”
“Then we must move forward with caution.”
Lena sat up and turned to stare at him. “So even if I say yes, you won’t sting me now?”
“It would not be wise, not until we can learn more.”
Lena took a deep breath and released it slowly, her gaze dropping to his swollen jaw. “How much time do you have?”
Gauge turned away, refusing to look at her.
“Gauge. How much time?”
“A week at most. No more.”
“Then there is no more to talk about. There’s not much we can learn in less than a week. You need to sting me tonight. There is no point in putting it off. I’ll be fine, Gauge. You said it yourself. It’s possible nothing will happen.”
Gauge sat for so long without answering that Lena feared he would just ignore her.
She breathed a sigh of relief when he finally said.
“I will need to speak with Seraphym and Samantha first. Teo will also need to be here in case you need blood. Are you sure about this, Lena? There will be no going back if you change your mind later.”
“I am.” And she was. Lena wanted this more than she had ever wanted anything in her life.
She wanted to feel strong again. She wanted to feel whole, and special.
And she knew in her heart that she would find this with Gauge.
When the time was right, when she’d overcome her fear of intimacy, they would become a real couple, and she would learn to enjoy herself physically with Gauge.