Chapter Eighteen
By the time the party had been going for a couple of hours, Willow had stopped trying to remember everyone’s names and just accepted that at some point she was probably going to call someone the wrong thing.
When Jay Bird had told her that Alpha and Bravo were close, Willow hadn’t fully understood what he had meant until today.
This wasn’t a group of coworkers who occasionally got together outside of work.
These two teams were family. And somehow, they had made room for her and Lily without making either of them feel like outsiders.
Willow sat on the edge of Ace and Alex’s pool with her feet dangling in the water while she watched the chaos unfolding around her.
Music played quietly from speakers somewhere on the patio, the smell of burgers still lingered in the air from lunch, and every few minutes someone yelled at one of the kids to slow down, stop running, or quit splashing somebody who clearly didn’t want to be splashed.
It was loud and chaotic, but somehow, that was what made it wonderful.
She had liked Alex immediately. There was something about the woman that drew people to her, and the more Willow learned about her, the more convinced she became that Mia’s sister-in-law was some kind of superhero disguised as a normal human being.
Then there was Tenley and her husband, Potter, along with their three daughters, who seemed to have inherited varying degrees of their parents’ personalities.
Frost and Autumn were there with their sons Cody and Aiden.
Skittles and Anna Grace had been another easy introduction because Willow already knew Anna Grace from working at Mia’s clinic and the rescue center.
She had met Dino and Arianna, Diego and Campbell, and then Irish and Bailey, whose daughter Sienna, Willow had quickly discovered, was Amira’s partner in crime. The two girls together were apparently the reason every adult in the vicinity had learned to be suspicious whenever things got too quiet.
The two little girls had spent the afternoon bouncing from one activity to another, and judging from the resigned expressions of every adult around them, this was normal.
At one point, Sienna had come racing past the pool wearing a pair of goggles, one flipper, and what Willow was certain was a plastic tiara.
Amira had followed, carrying a water gun.
Willow wasn’t sure which one was the bad influence. Although, considering Amira had the weapon, she had her suspicions.
Mia and Stitch were there too with Camden, along with everyone Willow had already met from Bravo.
Derek and Juliette seemed perfectly content to float between conversations while helping with babies, passing out snacks, and playing with the kids.
Willow had caught herself smiling more than once while watching Derek crouch beside Lily to help her with something.
The intimidating commander of two SEAL teams apparently had absolutely no defense against toddlers.
It was sweet, but more importantly, Lily was having the time of her life.
“Momma!”
Willow looked toward the pool.
Lily was several feet away with Juliette, wearing purple-and-blue floaties that matched her swimsuit. She kicked her little legs furiously while Juliette held her beneath the stomach.
“Look, Momma! Swim!”
“I see. You’re doing great, bug.”
That was questionable, considering Lily had been kicking for nearly thirty seconds and hadn’t moved more than six inches, but Willow wasn’t about to crush her enthusiasm.
“Momma swim!”
Willow’s smile faltered. “I will in a little bit.”
Lily frowned. “Now.”
Juliette laughed. “She’s very persuasive.”
“She’s bossy.”
“Momma, swim!”
“See?” Juliette grinned.
Willow waved to her daughter, then looked down at the water.
She wanted to get in. God, did she want to.
It was brutally hot, and the water felt amazing against her legs. She had spent most of the afternoon sitting beneath the covered patio or beside the pool while everyone else jumped in and out.
Her fingers found the edge of the lightweight cover-up she wore.
She could take it off, and knew nobody here would hurt her or judge her.
Unfortunately, knowing something and believing it were sometimes two very different things.
“Mind if I join you?”
Willow looked up to find Alex standing beside her, a bottle of water in hand.
“Of course not.”
Alex sat down and slipped her feet into the pool with a sigh.
“Oh, that’s better.”
Willow smiled. “It’s hot.”
“Virginia in August. Ninety-five degrees with nine hundred percent humidity.”
Willow laughed.
They sat quietly for a moment, watching the kids. A shriek came from across the yard.
They both turned and watched as Sienna came racing toward the patio, still wearing the tiara and now sporting both flippers, while Amira chased after her with a water gun.
Alex watched them pass. Then shook her head, laughing. “Those two are double trouble.”
“Is that normal?”
“Unfortunately.”
Willow laughed.
“Momma!” Willow glanced toward Lily again.
Her daughter waved enthusiastically. “Swim!”
“She’s been asking you for a while,” Alex said gently.
Willow’s fingers tightened around the edge of her cover-up.
“Yeah.”
Alex didn’t say anything else.
That surprised Willow. She had expected a question, but instead, Alex just took another drink and turned her attention back to the pool.
After nearly a minute, she spoke.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I’m guessing there’s a reason that cover-up hasn’t come off.”
Willow looked at her. There wasn’t any pity on Alex’s face, only a quiet understanding that made Willow feel seen rather than judged.
Willow swallowed. “There is.”
Willow stared at the water for a few seconds. “Jay saw them this morning.”
“Them?”
“My scars. I’ve never really shown anyone voluntarily. The doctors saw them when I was in the hospital, but that was different.” She looked down at her hands. “Jay knew what happened to me. He knew Chen hurt me, but knowing it and actually seeing what he did are two different things.”
“How did Jay handle it?”
Willow couldn’t keep the small smile from forming.
“Like Jay.”
Alex laughed softly. “That could mean several things.”
“He was angry, but not at me. He kept asking before he touched me. He told me I didn’t have to show anyone until I was ready.”
“Sounds like Jay.”
“He also offered to buy every cover-up in Virginia.”
Alex snorted. “That also sounds like Jay.”
Willow smiled, but it faded as she looked toward the pool.
“It’s different here. There are so many people.”
“I get it.”
Willow glanced at her.
Alex was studying the water. After a moment, she looked at Willow.
“Want to see something?”
Before Willow could answer, Alex shifted and turned slightly away from her, pulling the back of her cover-up down enough to expose part of her shoulder and upper back.
Willow’s breath caught. There were faded scars across Alex’s back.
Her eyes snapped to Alex’s.
Alex adjusted the fabric. “I can’t tell you exactly where I got them or give you most of the details because Uncle Sam gets cranky when I talk about certain things.
But I can tell you a very bad person did that.
” Alex paused for a moment before she continued.
“I spent a long time hating mine. Sometimes I still do. I’m not going to feed you some line about how you have to love your scars because they’re part of you.
That’s bullshit. I didn’t ask for mine, and I’m guessing you sure as hell didn’t ask for yours.
But I stopped calling mine scars a long time ago. ”
“What do you call them?”
Alex smiled. “Victory marks.”
“Victory marks?”
“Yep. The people who put them there wanted them to be reminders of what they did to me. Screw that. I decided they would remind me that I survived them instead.”
Something tightened in Willow’s chest.
Alex nudged her shoulder gently. “You don’t have to call yours that. Hell, you can call them Fred and Ethel if you want.”
Willow laughed.
“The point is, they’re yours now. Nobody gets to decide what they mean but you.”
Willow stared across the pool. Chen had taken so much from her.
He had taken her freedom, her choices, and three years of her life.
Even after escaping him, she realized there were still pieces of herself she was allowing him to control, like the clothes she wore, the fear she carried, and whether she could swim with her daughter on a hot summer afternoon.
“Momma!”
Willow looked toward Lily, who was smiling at her.
“Swim!”
Alex stood up. “Come on.”
Willow looked up, and Alex held out her hand.
“I’m hot, you’re hot, and your daughter has yelled ‘Mommy swim’ approximately forty-seven times.”
“Alex...”
“We’ll do it together.”
Before Willow could respond, Alex untied her cover-up and removed it. The scars across her back were visible.
Willow glanced around instinctively, but no one had stopped talking or turned to stare. Nobody seemed to care.
Alex tossed her cover-up onto a chair and held her hand out again, and Willow’s heart pounded as she looked across the yard.
Jay Bird sat beneath the covered patio with several of the guys, but his attention was already fixed on Willow. When their eyes met, he didn’t gesture toward her cover-up or encourage her to take it off. He just flashed her that grin of his as if quietly letting her know that the choice was hers.
Here goes nothing. Willow stood. Her hands trembled slightly as she untied the cover-up and slipped it from her shoulders.
For one terrifying second, she felt completely exposed, but then Alex reached over and took her hand, grounding her with a quiet, reassuring squeeze. “Ready?”
Willow took a breath. “Yeah.”
They jumped. The cool water closed around Willow, and when she surfaced, Lily’s delighted scream filled the air.
“MOMMA!”
Willow laughed as Lily tried to swim toward her, kicking her little legs with all her might but barely moving an inch.
“Come on, bug.”
“Swim!” Lily said.
“You’re not moving, bug.”
Lily kicked harder.
Alex laughed. “She’s got determination.”
“Unfortunately, she has no propulsion.”