32. Madison
32
MADISON
I sit on the edge of my bed, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand for what feels like the hundredth time.
I don’t know why I kept it, maybe because I was hoping it would look different on a different day. But it doesn’t. And now, I have the results of the blood test too. Those are positive, and there’s no denying the truth when a nurse looked me in the eyes and said I was six weeks along.
A deep sigh escapes me as I toss the test onto my nightstand. I haven't told anyone yet, except for Zoe.
I’ve managed to keep it together for everyone else because I haven’t seen them since I found out. I’ve been hiding because I’m most scared of how Aurora will react. She hasn’t said a thing to me, even though I know she knows based on what Ethan told me.
The thought of handling this alone—without Ethan or a solid plan—makes my stomach churn. I should be focusing on how to move forward, but every time I try, my mind draws a blank.
The knock on my door startles me out of my thoughts, and I nearly jump out of my skin. Samson, my dog, runs over to the door, barking excitedly. He gets the other dogs currently with us—Flipper and Lucky—into a barking frenzy as well. For a split second, I think it might be Ethan, but when I open the door, it’s Aurora standing there, her expression unreadable. My heart sinks.
I’m almost wishing she would just continue the freezing-me-out thing. That was easier. But now, she must want to talk about something.
Oh, God. I know this isn’t going to be good.
I brace myself, trying to keep calm. “Aurora, hi!”
She cuts me off before I can say anything else. “I just want to know what kind of sick person you are that you thought sleeping with my dad was okay. That’s all. Just what level of sick it takes to do that with your best friend’s dad.”
I swallow hard, feeling the heat rise to my face. I knew this confrontation was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Aurora can’t stay silent forever, and apparently, she’s been simmering in her anger long enough for it to be set off today.
Aurora steps closer, her anger practically radiating off her. “You’re disgusting. I can’t believe you’d do something like this. I trusted you, Madison. And you—had sex with my dad. I mean…maybe I should go find your dad and do the same thing, so you see how it feels.”
“That’s not the same! My parents are married. Yours are?—”
“What? My mom skipped out, so it’s okay for you to step in and take her place. Is that what you think? You’re going to act like you can boss me around because you’re sleeping with my dad? You’re nothing but a liar and a user. How could you?”
I’m annoyed at myself, but I can’t control the tears that are starting to spill over. I try to blink them away. I don’t want Aurora to know how much she is hurting me. “Aurora, I?—”
She snaps back at me before I even have a chance to say anything. “Don’t! Don’t try to explain it. There’s nothing you can say to make this okay. You’re selfish, Madison. You’ve ruined everything. Do you know how sick I felt when I found out? Or maybe you just don’t care about me anymore.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to stifle the sobs building up in my chest. I hate that I’m crying in front of her. I hate that I feel so small, so pathetic. “I never meant to hurt you. It didn’t start out as some grand plan. It kind of happened.”
Aurora stares at me, and for a second, I think she’s going to lash out again. But instead, her shoulders slump, and she lets out a frustrated sigh. “Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you lie?”
That’s when I see the hurt in her eyes, in her voice. I swipe at my cheeks, not able to hide the tears as they slip down my face.
I shake my head, my vision blurred by tears. “I didn’t know how to… I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I can’t just say… This happened. I was…scared.”
“Scared of what? Scared of what I’d think? You should’ve been scared of betraying me in the first place.”
“It wasn’t a betrayal. It?—”
“I suggested you ask my dad for money. I had no idea you two were already sleeping together.”
“No! No, we weren’t.” I’m desperate to set things right, as right as they can be in a situation like this. “That was… When I went over… It kind of started things. We got to know one another a little, and…”
“Are you blaming me for this? Are you saying if I’d never suggested you borrow money from my dad then this wouldn’t have happened? No, I’m not going to take the blame.”
The cold from outside is whipping at my face, and I’m shivering. I step back from Aurora and deeper into the warmth of my house. “I’m not saying that. But…”
Aurora stands there, watching me break down. She follows me into my house, shutting the door soundly behind herself. Then, she just continues to stare at me. “Madison, look… I shouldn’t have come here and yelled at you. I just—” She takes a deep breath. “I’m just so hurt, you know? You were like family to me.”
I nod, wiping my cheeks with the sleeve of my sweater, but I don’t say anything. I can’t. I don’t have any excuses.
“I… I don’t know what’s going on between you and my dad, and honestly, I don’t want to know.”
“I… It doesn’t matter anymore, Aurora. We broke it off. We talked and decided that our relationships with you are more important than…anything else.”
That’s not exactly how the conversation went, but Aurora doesn’t need to know that. I feel like every decision I make is the wrong one, and I’m struggling just to stay afloat in my life right now.
Then it hits me. I’m pregnant. Ethan and I might have broken things off, but we can’t just push it behind us and pretend that it never happened. There’s going to be a constant reminder forever.
Aurora studies me for a minute, but she doesn’t offer to hug me. Not like she normally would. “I need to go. I just… I needed to get that off my chest.”
She flings the door back open and steps outside. I watch her head to her car before closing the door. I thought Aurora and I could go back to being friends after I broke up with Ethan. Instead, it feels like I went from having somebody to having nobody.
As soon as she’s gone, I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees as the sobs take over. I don’t know how long I sit there crying, but eventually, I hear my phone buzzing from the coffee table. And it’s not just once or twice. It’s a lot of times. With shaky hands, I reach for it and see that the group chat with Aurora, Stella, Mia, and Zoe is blowing up.
Mia: Guys, we need to talk about this Aurora and Madison thing.
Stella: What happened??
Mia: I’m hearing all sorts of rumors…
Aurora: I’ll tell you what happened. Madison slept with my dad. That’s it. Nothing else needs to be said. She’s a bitch.
Zoe: Guys. Calm down. There are two sides to every story.
Stella: Well, somebody give me the deets of at least one side here.
Aurora: I just did. What else do you need to know?
Mia: Madison? You there girl?
Zoe: All of us know what happened, Aurora. Let’s work on forgiveness and understanding. Madison is dealing with a lot.
Aurora: A lot of guilt for acting like a bitch. I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this.
I let out a shaky breath, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. I don’t even know what to say to them.
After a moment, I decide not to respond to the chat. I can’t. Instead, I drop my phone back onto the table and lean my head against my knees, trying to calm the annoying sadness that bubbled up out of nowhere. Zoe’s been supportive, and I know she’s trying to help, but the rest of them… They don’t know the full story. They don’t know what I’m going through .
The pregnancy.
The dogs are whining, pawing at the doors to their kennels, but I ignore them for now. I just need a moment to breathe and gather my thoughts. But all I can think about is how everything feels like it’s falling apart. My friendship with Aurora is shattered, Ethan and I are over, and now I have to deal with this pregnancy alone.
I try to calm myself, focusing on my breathing, but the tears keep coming. What am I supposed to do?
My phone buzzes again, and I glance at the screen to see another message from Zoe, this time just to me.
Zoe: Madison, are you okay? Do you need me to come over? Aurora said she showed up at your house.
I muted the group chat because I didn’t want to see what else Aurora was saying about me.
I bite my lip, considering it.
Me: No, I’m okay. I’m learning how to deal with things on my own.
Zoe: Dealing with things on your own when you have people who want to support you doesn’t make you any stronger.
Me: Maybe not. But right now, I’m tired of crying. If you come over, I’m going to reevaluate my whole life and probably start crying again.
Zoe: I get that. Well, I’m here. And you know where I live. Feel free to show up whenever.
I put my phone away and go to deal with the dogs. By myself. Because Ethan and I don’t spend time together anymore.
And that’s not going to change when I finally tell him I’m pregnant.