41. Ethan
41
ETHAN
I go back inside the party. I can’t disappear exactly when Madison does. It wouldn’t take a genius to put together the fact that we still have something going if I’m making moves like that.
So, I listen as my daughter announces that she received the most votes. Everyone claps politely, but her announcement is like permission for others to leave. Her closest friends stay, all except for Madison, but a couple of other people start to head out the door.
I find Aurora and hug her. She’s stiff in my arms, and I can tell all is not forgiven. “It was a great party. I enjoyed your punch.”
She smiles, but it’s hard to tell if she’s harboring resentment. We haven’t talked since she came into my house and started making accusations. I’ve texted her a few times, but she hasn’t responded. I did receive an invitation in the mail for the party though. Hence why I came.
“Merry Christmas. Will I see you on Christmas or Christmas Eve for a special dinner? One of those turkey dinners we used to?— ”
“I don’t know, Dad. Maybe.”
Her rejection hurts me, but I know that Aurora is slow to forgive. I just have to give her time. “Well, I’ll see you soon then.”
I head out into the cold, bending my chin into my chest. I chose to walk over. I head in the direction of my house, looking at the spot where Madison was parked. I wonder what’s going through her head. I wanted to pull her aside and talk to her tonight, but maybe she’s right. It’s better to wait until we can actually have a private conversation.
I have to tell her that I don’t want to keep pretending. People are going to judge, and Aurora might walk away from us. But in the end, I have to do what makes me happy. And I don’t think hiding what I feel for Madison will make me happy.
Those are the thoughts that circle through my head as I turn onto my street and head down it. I see Madison in the security light of her backyard taking a couple of dogs inside. I wait in the street to see if she’s going to come over or if I should ring her doorbell.
This conversation isn’t going to wait until tomorrow.
A few minutes later, Madison comes out the front door, bundled up in a hot pink coat. I smile at her, but she doesn’t smile back.
When she reaches me, I wrap my arm around her. We walk together to my house. “Are you warm enough? Do you want my jacket?”
“I’m fine.”
Once we step into my foyer, Madison shrugs off her jacket. She hangs it on the coat rack and turns to me. I look at her. She’s so beautiful, but there is also a frailty to her. She’s vulnerable.
I pull her close to me. She is stiff for a moment, and then she relaxes in my grip. I turn her lips toward mine and kiss her gently. Kissing her gives me a peace I haven’t felt in a few days.
“I don’t want to keep pretending. I don’t want to hide what we have anymore. Aurora will be angry. Other people will judge, but we have to tell people at some point. They will know you aren’t the Virgin Mary.” I try to joke, but Madison doesn’t laugh.
Instead, she snuggles into my arms.
“I know it’s not fair to you. But…Ethan, it’s just so complicated. Maybe you don’t care what your friends think, but if Aurora says the right things…I might lose all my friends. They’ll believe her.”
“I know this isn’t easy. Aurora’s not going to take this well. But we can’t just keep pretending, Madison. We need a plan—a time when we are going to tell people. And you can pick when that is, but I don’t want to hide our relationship indefinitely.”
“I just… I need more time. If you want a date…after I’ve had the ultrasound at the doctor’s. Then maybe… I’ll tell… I’ll have to tell everything then.”
I feel a pang of frustration, but I push it down. I knew this was going to be her answer. She’s been asking for more time since we decided that we wanted to be together. Maybe it will be harder for her than for me.
“The party tonight would have been different, more fun if we were able to be together. We would have attended together, talked together, and just had… a great time.”
“ If we were even invited in the first place. Aurora could have chosen not to invite us because of… what we’re doing.”
I kiss the top of Madison’s head. “Okay, so not Aurora’s party, but a Christmas party. Any of them. The hospital has a thing every year. I would love to take you, but… ”
“But people wouldn’t be able to talk to us without asking how old I am.”
I don’t respond right away. She has a point. “They’ll get over it. I mean… I don’t ask anyone those questions. Just…ignore it. If they do say something, then it will only be the first time they meet us. Besides?—”
“I just don’t think I’m ready for something like that. I mean, a holiday party at your hospital sounds great in theory, but I like what we have when we’re alone.”
I laugh. “Hey, I like that too. But we can’t just have that all the time.”
“I don’t mean the sex!” Madison laughs.
“But you didn’t not mean it either. Be honest…you like it.” I push my hips up against her suggestively.
“Well, I won’t say no to that. Clearly , we like it. We have the proof.” She touches her stomach. But then, the moment passes, and the seriousness sets back in.
I brush her hair back from her face. “We’ll figure it out together. But I don’t want to pretend anymore. If you want to wait until after the ultrasound, I can do that. But if you decide you’re ready sooner, I can do that too.”
Madison snuggles deeper into me. “I’ll tell Aurora and the rest of the world. Just give me a little more time first.”
I nod, even though part of me is still uptight about the whole situation. But for now, I push it aside. Right now, I just want to be with her. I don’t want to think about anything else.
I lean down and kiss her, slow and tender at first, savoring the way her lips move against mine. She lets out a soft sigh, her hands sliding up to tangle in my hair, pulling me closer. My heart is racing, and I can feel the tension between us melting away, replaced by something deeper, something warmer .
Madison shifts in my arms, her body pressing against mine in a way that makes my pulse quicken. I trail kisses down her neck, my hands roaming over the smooth curve of her back, and she arches into me, her breath hitching. Everything about this feels right—being here with her, holding her, loving her.
“Do you want to go upstairs?” I whisper against her lips.
“I can’t say no to that.”
I take Madison’s hand and lead her up to my bedroom. Once inside, we tumble onto the bed, our limbs tangled together, and I lose myself in her. Sure, I still want to settle things right now and shout out to the world about what is happening. But I’ll settle for this little moment between us.
Our kisses grow more heated and desperate.
I roll onto my back and pull Madison on top of me. I love the feel of her weight pressing into me. She squeezes me between her legs as we continue to kiss, and my hands move under her sweater and up her back.
Then, I tug on her hair, pushing it back from her face. I reach for the hem of her sweater and pull it over her head so that I can reach her breasts more easily. She sits up on top of me, and I reach forward, caressing her gently. I want to grab her harder and push her around, but I’m aware of the fact that she’s pregnant. I want to be careful with her.
I roll her onto her back, my hand sliding down her side, feeling every inch of her beneath me before sliding her pants and panties off and to the ground. Just the sight of her makes my cock get hard. I can feel it throbbing warmly between my legs.
Her skin is warm, and her body responds to mine in a way that drives me crazy. We’ve been here before, but this time, it feels different. More intense.
I press my lips against hers again, not just kissing her but stroking her with my tongue, and she lets out a soft whimper that sends a surge of heat through me. I’m lost in her. Nothing else matters.
“Ethan! Put it in me!” She's practically begging. Well, I can’t turn that down.
I stand up and slide my pants down. She’s staring at me with a kind of hunger that makes me only want to move slower so that I can tease her. I fiddle with the waistband of my boxers for a moment before grabbing myself through my boxers to show her exactly how hard I am.
But Madison is not patient today. She doesn’t want to wait. She sits up and pulls my boxers down for me so that my erection is swinging freely between us.
Then, she lays back down, balancing her feet on either side. I push myself inside her, inch by inch. I want to put everything inside her right away, but I can be a lot. I don’t want to hurt her.
“Ethan. More.”
I can’t hold back anymore, so I push the rest of myself inside her until I’m pressing snugly against her hips. We both groan in unison, as I pull myself back out and thrust again and again.
Madison grips the sheets, her back arching as I continue to thrust myself inside her. I grab her legs, and she hooks her feet behind my back so I can’t get too far away from her. My frantic, hurried movements bring me close to the edge, but I wait until Madison comes before I do.
I see it in the way she slams her eyes shut and arches against the bed, then there is a warmth all over my dick that gives me permission to move however I want to make myself come.
I slam myself against her again and again until I come, breathing hard. I stand there for a moment, my muscles slowly relaxing.
Then, I climb onto the bed next to Madison. I wrap my arm around her stomach.
“You could just sleep here, you know. You’ve already taken the dogs out for the last time.”
“I… I shouldn’t just leave them.”
“You should rest. You need it. Come on. Under the covers.”
I tug the covers back, and Madison climbs obediently over them. I tuck her in and climb into the bed on the other side, snuggling up behind her so that I’m the big spoon. Within minutes, I can hear the change in Madison’s breathing. She’s asleep.
In my bed.
And I don’t want that to change.