49. Ethan
49
ETHAN
I turn over in my bed and gaze at Madison as she sleeps. Things are finally starting to feel right again between us. We’ve been through hell and back lately, but it feels like we’re finding our footing again. We have been sleeping back and forth at each other’s houses mostly since she told me about the pregnancy.
I think she sleeps better at my house without the dogs tip-tapping around on the floor all night and occasionally barking. As I gaze at her now, I can’t help smiling. She has no idea what I’m planning.
Now that it seems like things are finally under control again, we can move forward.
And moving forward means preparing for the baby.
The thought of a baby, our baby, fills me with this quiet excitement I haven’t felt in years. I’ve always wanted more kids, always pictured myself with a big family, but after everything that happened with Aurora’s mom, I thought that door was closed for good. And now? Now it’s opening again in a way I never expected .
I never would have planned to have a baby with anyone, but it’s worked out perfectly because I can already see what kind of mom Madison will be by the way she takes care of Samson.
Madison stirs beside me, blinking awake. She turns her head and smiles when she sees me watching her. “Morning.”
“Morning. Sleep okay?” I brush a strand of hair out of her face, just wanting an excuse to touch her.
She nods, her eyes soft with that just-woke-up haze. “Yeah. You?”
“Yeah. I was thinking… maybe we should start talking about what we need to do to get ready for the baby. You know, planning things out.”
Madison blinks at me, then grins. “I just woke up, and you want to plan things out for the baby? Give me coffee and breakfast first, then we can talk about it.”
I grin back at her and hop out of bed to do her bidding. I don’t mind taking care of Madison because she really doesn’t ask for much. And what she does ask for, I really don’t mind giving.
After fifteen minutes, I have a good breakfast-in-bed tray ready for her. I take it upstairs to my room where she is sitting in the middle of the bed surrounded by pillows like a queen. “Here you go.”
She takes the tray gratefully and reaches for the muffin first, stuffing most of it in her mouth before the wild look leaves her eyes.
“Ready to talk now?”
She pats the space in the bed next to her, and I settle in, putting my arm around the pillows behind her. “Okay, go on. I’m listening. ”
I try to get my thoughts organized before we start talking. “First, we’ll need to figure out the nursery. We’ll have to decide on a room and get it all set up before the baby comes. Crib, changing table, all that. I was thinking maybe we could pick some neutral colors for now, since we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet. Or we could wait until we know, and then go all out with blue or pink.”
Madison nods thoughtfully. “That makes sense. I’ve been pinning a few ideas on my phone, but I haven’t settled on anything yet. But I mean…the nursery will be in my house right, because…the baby will need to be close to me.”
I almost let the secret out then, but I don’t want her to know just yet, not until Christmas Eve. I nod and kind of ignore her question so I’m not forced to lie. “Just some decorating ideas, colors, or themes would be helpful. This will be more involved than painting your surf school. And we’ll need to start looking into baby stuff too. Car seats, clothes, bottles—everything. It’s a lot, but we’ve got time.”
She looks up at me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “How do we know what we need?”
“You can look up a list of must-have baby items somewhere, right? There has to be a place that has a list of everything you could need.”
Madison’s eyes twinkle at me. “You’re getting excited about this, aren’t you?”
I smile, not even bothering to hide it. “Yeah. I am. I’ve always wanted more kids, and now that it’s actually happening… I don’t know, I just can’t wait. I think it will be fun to have this baby with you.”
Madison’s expression softens, and she leans in to kiss me gently. “Even though it will cry in the middle of the night and poop and pee constantly? ”
“Even though.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’m starting to get excited too. Once we have my appointment after Christmas, it will feel more real. But the symptoms alone make it feel super real.”
I pull her into my arms, holding her close. “You need to let me know if you aren’t feeling well. I was reading about these bracelets that help with nausea. I’m not sure how scientifically based they are, but I can get you one to try.”
“I wouldn’t mind that. It’s weird because I’ll go a few days without any nausea, then it’s bad. ”
She snuggles into my chest, and we lie there for a while, wrapped up in each other, talking about everything we need to do. I enjoy this kind of talk, planning for the future, and thinking about the life we are making together.
Madison doesn’t know all the details yet, but she will soon. We fall into silence after talking about gender-neutral colors, and I lean my cheek against the top of Madison’s head.
“Hey, I’ve been thinking… Christmas Eve dinner. How do you feel about doing something with me on Christmas Eve?”
Madison lifts her head, curious. “Doing something? What do you have in mind? I don’t know if I’m ready to go out… and have dinner or go on a real, actual date.”
“Well, I want to have a nice dinner. Just the people that matter most. I was thinking we could invite your brother, Wesley, and I want Aurora to be there too. I’ll invite her anyway. It’s her decision if she shows up or not.”
Her eyebrows lift in surprise. “Aurora? Are you sure? I mean, things have been…tense.”
“I know, but I want to fix things with her. I know it’ll take time, but I think Christmas could be a good starting point. Plus, I want her to see that we’re serious about this. And having your brother there… he seems like someone who could lighten the mood, assuming he doesn’t have other plans.”
Madison studies my face for a moment, then nods slowly. “Okay. If you think it’ll help, I’m willing to try. And Wesley will definitely come. I mean, he isn’t going to plan something on Christmas Eve, and it’s been just the two of us since my parents moved.”
I grin, feeling a rush of relief that she’s on board with the plan. “Good. I’ll cook something nice, we’ll have a great evening, and… well, there’s one more thing.”
Her eyes narrow playfully. “What else are you planning?”
“I guess you’ll have to come to the Christmas Eve dinner to find out.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“Oh, it’s nothing bad. Believe me. Now, let’s talk about what you want to eat.”
“Me? I’m not the only person who will be there.”
“No, but your vote counts for two.” I lay a hand on her stomach and rub it a little, half-hoping the baby might choose that moment to move. But I know the baby is still too tiny for me to feel movements. There’s still a tiny part of me that hopes, though.
“Well, then, baby and I vote for stuffing. I’m still thinking about Thanksgiving stuffing. I think because the baby was created just after Thanksgiving, it seems to want stuffing all the time.”
I laugh. “Stuffing is easy. I can make that happen.” I lean over and kiss her head. “Now, I’d love to stay here in bed with you all day, but I know the dogs wouldn’t be happy about that. I’ll take care of them. You eat. ”
I hop out of bed and go to deal with the dogs before heading to my last shift before Christmas. If I can pull this Christmas Eve dinner off just right, then Madison and our families will be able to come together. Maybe the happily ever after we’ve been hoping for isn’t so impossible after all.