Chapter Nine
Ellie
We stand in the alleyway for a long moment as I try to convince Silas that he’s seeing things. I have no idea how long exactly, but the band plays at least four songs before he takes my hand in his and guides me through the crowd of people toward his truck.
“You really think that was Adam?”
He shrugs and pauses to type something out on his phone. “I’m getting you back to the house either way. Texting everyone now to see who’s free to help Cash at the festival.”
When the text is sent, he tucks his big hand back into mine and steers me through the last of the crowd. His grip is warm and steady. The kind that makes my pulse jump even though I’m trying to keep my head on straight.
People are still filling in the festival, everyone wearing their best strawberry outfits. Even the old men arguing in the parking lot are wearing strawberry hats. Silas pays no attention to any of it. He’s only focused on getting me out of there.
His thumb sweeps across the back of my hand, sending a tight shiver up my arm. He doesn’t look at me when he does it. He just keeps walking, jaw set, eyes scanning the street like he’s already three steps ahead of whatever danger he thinks is coming.
Something tells me it’s not violence he fears. It’s the cold smack of reality when Adam confronts us.
When we get to his truck, he opens the passenger door for me, one hand braced on the frame, the other still holding mine until I’m buckled in.
I’ve never felt more cared for. He’s cherishing me and I feel it. He’s treasuring me despite the fact that his world is falling down around him. There’s not enough emotion in the world to feel that properly.
That said, if Adam caught any of what just happened in that alleyway, we’re in trouble. There’s no way to explain the kind of animalistic heat we just displayed. Hell, I’m not even sure I’ve recovered.
I’m not na?ve enough to ignore the fact that this is a complete mind fuck. Truth be told, it’s still messing with me a little. I mean, the fact that my ex’s dad was just railing me up against a brick wall in the middle of town is insane!
Hell, the fact that his hand is on my thigh right now is blowing my mind!
“Everything is going to be ok,” he says, checking the mirrors for the third time since we got into the truck.
“I’ll apologize to Adam, I’ll talk to Josie, and if you want a new job, I’ll get it for you.
” He brushes his hand down over his beard as we turn the corner to head further up into the pines.
“If accounting is no longer your thing, I have the field ready for harvest. You’re more than welcome to start your farm with what’s there. I just want you to be happy.”
“Why are you doing all this for me? I have nothing to offer you, Silas.”
He glances toward me quickly then back at the road. “Are you kidding? I haven’t felt this good in years. Adam’s mom died when he was two. Overdosed on drugs I didn’t know she was doing with people I didn’t know she was with.”
“Oh my God.” I’d never asked about Adam’s mom. No one ever talks about her. I figured there was a reason. Heck, I’ve only seen one photo of her. It’s a framed shot of her and Adam the day he was born. They keep it on the bookshelf in the living room. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“His mom and I were very different people. I knew that when we met, but I was young and I thought I could make it work. Turns out, her plans were very different from mine.” He clears his throat.
“I didn’t think I’d be raising Adam alone, but I did my best. I worked hard to make sure he had everything that he needed, and I tried to teach him right from wrong.
I didn’t go out, didn’t keep friends, didn’t mess around with women.
I just kept my head down and kept showing up.
” He runs his hand through his hair. “I can’t believe I didn’t think he’d find out about us. I’ve fucked everything up.”
“You’re human. You’ve neglected your own needs for so long. It’s okay to want things for yourself.”
He squeezes my thigh gently, his calloused hand grounding me as his jaw flexes. “I don’t even remember the last time I let myself want something. Not like this.”
I rest my hand over his, feeling the tension thrum beneath his skin. “You’re allowed to have a life and choose something for yourself.”
His fingers curl around mine like he’s choosing me all over again as the cabin comes into view.
The heavy log cabin planted firm and strong, the big red barn made for feed and shelter, the horses running through the open field with wild abandon, and the shimmering field of lavender.
Every soft purple bloom a reminder of the love Silas has for me.
For a second, I picture myself coming back here a year from now. My belly expanded with his baby kicking inside of me, the breeze carrying the calming scent of the future we’ve built.
It’s then that I see Adam. He’s in the back field perched on one of Silas’ tractors, the engine roaring loud enough to drown out the birds, and he’s mowing… the lavender!
Row after row falls beneath the blades, the blooms flattening, shredding, disappearing into a cloud of purple dust. The tractor crawls forward with a slow deliberate purpose, like he wants us to watch, like he wants us to feel every second of the pain it’s causing.
Silas goes still beside me. Completely still, like someone hit pause on the world around us.
The hum of the tractor grows louder as Adam turns the wheel and lines up the next untouched row. He doesn’t look at us, though he doesn’t have to. The message is clear.
This is personal, and he’s not stopping until his point is made.