38. Izzy
IZZY
My show of force in the fight with the king and queen hadn’t quite been enough. There had been one other challenger to my and Bayn’s authority: the general of the titan armies. He’d not bent a knee the next day when we were presented as the new king and queen.
I’d maintained my enlarged form, it was just easier, since everyone around me was giant. I’d also been brave and adopted the titan style of dress, which meant a simple wrap skirt… and nothing else.
I’d seen the calculating look in the general’s eyes. He’d been about to challenge Bayn, but not so he could defeat him then fight me and take control of the titans… but because he wanted to have me, be my king. Yeah, I’d not let that happen, so before he’d challenged Bayn, I’d challenged him.
Since we were short on time, I’d insisted we fight here and now, so the two of us stood in the throne room, in a circle made of watching titans. Bayn didn’t look worried, in fact, he gave the general a pitying look.
The general swung. I used my self-defense training to capture his arm, spin, then shoulder throw him onto his back.
I knelt on his chest with my hand around his neck, pinning him down, but I didn’t follow through and crush his throat.
Instead, I put the same binding on him I had on Saldrea.
Any harm he wished on others would befall him.
I spoke loud enough for everyone to hear.
“I do not wish to kill you. Too many titans have died already. We’ll need all of you to fight the elves in the war to come.
But I will not let you betray me either.
The choice is yours.” I didn’t tell him of my binding.
I stood and turned my back on him. I heard him rise, then a sickening sound and the crash of his body hitting the ground again.
I turned to see his head turned the wrong way around.
Yikes.
I should explain that to all the astonished on-lookers.
“I put a binding on him,” I shouted. “Any harm he thought to do to me, would happen to him. He killed himself with his arrogance. Let this be the last death of a titan at the hands of another titan. Let us fight the elves together, then live in peace with all races once we’d trounced those arrogant bastards once and for all! ”
That got a hearty cheer.
I returned to my throne next to Bayn. “I hope I didn’t steel your thunder,” I whispered to him.
“I have a feeling you’ll always be stealing my thunder, wife,” he said with a smirk.
He was probably right.
That day was spent mobilizing the titans, most of whom were willing to follow me and Bayn. Some few slunk off in the night to join Valnea. Luckily, Bayn had thought of a way to use that to our advantage.
Now, finally, we had a chance to win this war.
By the time we’d returned to Veilblood Academy with the titans, we had four days till Valnea’s assault.
In some ways it seemed like an eternity, and yet, there weren’t enough hours in the day for all the preparations still to be done.
Every day our forces worked to build more defenses, high earthworks, a diversion of the river, winding paths of high stone walls to divert the enemy, dead zones where the salmaeri would lay down walls of fire.
Everyone worked, including me, and as much as I might have wanted to savor the time in the evenings with my guys, we weren’t all there at the same time, too much to do.
And nobody had energy for anything more than flopping into bed.
Though the guys did find ways to help me relax and rest. Vyns gave the best foot rubs, Koar had hidden talents for deep tissue massage, one of Rook’s underused talents was a voice like silk, which he used to lull me to sleep.
Myel just needed to lay beside me and all my cares floated away.
Bayn wasn’t all that skilled with anything to help me relax, but he’d done something else, taking a figurative weight off my shoulders by organizing all our forces.
He’d wanted to be our general and I trusted him enough now to let him take the lead.
And it saved me so much stress and anxiety.
And all of this demonstrated even more how much I needed the guys, how much they meant to me. So, two nights before the battle, I took each aside to have a private word. We’d received intel that Valnea might move early, at night, potentially tomorrow night, hence why we did this now.
I simply held Myel close and let him feed on me.
And when he’d finished, we stayed close.
We didn’t need words now. The bond was so strong, our emotions laid bare, that there wasn’t anything left to say.
We were scared, but there was hope. We loved each other dearly and deeply and knew we’d fight to our last breaths to protect each other.
I’d meet up with Myel again, once I’d met with the other guys, so his soothing presence could help me sleep. We kissed softly and parted.
As I waited for Koar, I couldn’t help the secret smile which spread on my lips.
I’d lost track of days, but it had been less than a month since I’d come to this world and before that…
I’d never have expected to have such a deep relationship with anyone.
I’d been scared stiff of long-term, committed relationships.
I’d always lost those closest to me, they died, or left, or I left before we could get too close.
And here I was, with five guys, all of them deeply committed, and I might lose all of them in a matter of days.
I couldn’t fathom the loss, and yet… I wouldn’t give up what we had for anything.
I hadn’t really gotten over my fear of loss, but I’d certainly circumvented it somehow to let each of these men get so close.
Koar slipped up behind me, enfolding me in strong arms, pressing my back to his hard chest.
“I love you, Perfection,” he whispered.
I loved his pet name for me. I didn’t feel perfect, but I loved that he saw me as perfect… for him.
I hadn’t said the words to Koar, or anyone other than Myel yet. And if I was going to break that seal, now would be the time. Still, I hesitated. It felt so big. Did I really love all these guys? Could I love them all?
Then I recalled what Koar had told me about love, his definition. It had been something about being best friends and wanting what’s best for each other, giving and taking, and also finding each other attractive and wanting some form of physical relationship.
That fit what I had with my guys.
I gave a breathy little laugh.
“I love you too, big man,” I said. I wished I had a better pet name for him but given how he seemed to soften a little and hold me closer, perhaps it wasn’t needed.
“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he breathed.
I found that hard to believe. Wasn’t he stupidly old?
Then he explained. “Dragons don’t require love to mate. We find appropriate matches and have children. We don’t even raise them, we let our elders do that, those too old to fight.”
Sounded cold to me. And I’d thought dragons were all hot fire and passion.
“I will cherish what we have my entire life,” he whispered, then chuckled. “And that’s a long time.”
“Don’t say things like that,” I whispered. “It makes it sound like… we won’t have each other after this. I have to hope you’ll all survive. I need you all.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I know. Still, I don’t regret saying it.”
“You… okay?” I asked. I felt… something from him, some hesitancy I couldn’t place or name.
He sighed heavily, his chest heaving behind me.
“I recently realized I can’t protect you, not in the way I want to, that I need to. I still don’t know exactly what to do with that.”
I had no idea what to say, to reassure him. So, in lieu of words, I turned in his arms and reached up to pull his face down to mine for a long, deep, tender kiss. After, he rested his forehead on mine.
“Perfection,” he breathed.
“If you want to protect my heart, you’ll come back to me, alive, after all this,” I whispered, not knowing where those words had come from.
“As long as you do too,” he said.
“Deal.”
I rested my head on his chest, and he crushed me close one last time, then we parted and Vyns joined me.
“What do you need, Angel?” he asked. He’d only just started with that nickname and it always made me smile. He was the angel. “Your spirit is… cloudy.”
I felt into the strange connection I had with Vyns, a thing of curious sensations.
It wasn’t exactly emotions, like what I shared with Myel, but more…
vague, though still powerful. Vyns always felt…
warm. Though when he was in pain it felt like some out-of-body headache or stomachache.
And when he was aroused it felt like sweltering summer rain, those humid days, when the rain brings no relief, only more sultry heat.
He said my spirit shone like a sun or star, so me being “cloudy” was probably my anxiety over this coming battle.
“It’s hard to be sunny with so much… uncertainty,” I said as he enfolded me in his arms. Then he flashed out his wings and wrapped them around me too. I loved his wings, white and gold and soft and fluffy and warm.
“Of one thing I am certain,” he whispered. “I love you more than anything. You are my sun and moon. You light my days and my nights.”
I tried to think of some way to express how he felt to me, through my spirit.
“You are my eternal summer’s day,” I whispered, liking that analogy. Then I ruined it, “You make me… hot.”
We both laughed.
That bit of levity made it easier for me to say, “I love you too.” And I hugged him tighter.
And as we stood there in each other’s arms, his spirit flowed into mine, bolstering and strong, unwavering.
“Thank you,” I said with a sigh. “You always give so much.”
“You give too, though I don’t think you see it. It’s often in little ways, but you do it for so many it adds up to a lot. It’s one of the things I love about you.”