38. Izzy #2
He was right, I didn’t see it, but I trusted him. If he said I did stuff like that… then maybe I did and I had no clue about it.
“Right now, you’re giving thousands of people hope for a better future,” he breathed.
Huh… I supposed that was true.
I smiled and felt a sense of ease settle over me.
“There we go, that’s better,” Vyns said with a sigh of his own.
Apparently, the master of foot rubs was also really good at spirit rubs. I didn’t know if that was a thing, but that’s what I was calling it.
He kissed my forehead. I tilted my head back and we shared a deep kiss before he stepped away, gazing at me like I was his entire world. He smiled and left.
Rook sauntered over.
“If you’re expecting sappy stuff, I don’t do that,” he said, nonchalant.
“Keep telling yourself that, Inky, and maybe it’ll be true one day, but I know you better. I’ve heard your innermost thoughts, remember?”
Rook blinked at me. “Inky?” His face scrunched up.
“What!” I blurted. “You all have fun pet names for me. I can’t have one for you? I’m trying it out. Incubus… Inky…”
“Oh… Izzy… no, just don’t. Now Kink, that would be a fun pet name for me.”
I sighed. Maybe it would be, but since I hadn’t come up with it, it lost its appeal. “Anyway, I know you have a soft side in addition to your…” I wiggled my brows and quirked my lips, “…hard side.”
“Innuendo you can do, stick with that,” he said as he drew close enough to pull me into a hug, his “hard side” crushed against me.
“You’ve felt a little… distant lately, since you came back from Urval,” I said pulling him close in a squeezing embrace of my own. My words were a little muffled talking into his shoulder. “Your body is with me and your mind is with me, but your heart…”
He sighed heavily. “It’s with you… and that’s the problem.”
I held him close and waited for him to elaborate.
“My mother,” he began, and it was the last thing I expected.
I supposed sex demons did have mothers, like everyone else, but still, talking about his parents seemed odd for some reason.
“She’s anti-love in a big way. We… argued…
sort of. She loved my father more than she should have, and when he died… ”
Ah.
“And you’re afraid I’m going to die?”
He didn’t say anything, but his tangled thoughts revealed the truth to me. It wasn’t so much me specifically dying, but death in general. If he died, I’d be sad and he didn’t want that for me. And if I died… well he’d seen what that had done to his mother.
“I’ll do my best to stay alive, if you promise to do the same. That’s… the best we can do.” I hugged him tighter. He grunted in pain. I remembered my elven strength and eased off a bit. I even drew back enough to look him in the eyes.
“I have one strong reason to stay alive, and it’s your orgasms. They’re second to none. What reason do you have?”
He quirked a half smile. “Another threesome with you and Myel. That was positively sinful.”
I smiled. “There, see? Keep that in mind, something to fight for. When the chips are down and things look bleak, think of me and Myel and fight to have another moment with us.”
“How is it you know exactly what to say to make me feel okay?” he whispered.
“Because I’m a kick-ass, intelligent, goddess of a woman, of course.”
“Yes… you are, aren’t you?” There was no hint of sarcasm or hyperbole in his voice, like there had been in mine.
“See?” I breathed. “There you go being sappy.” And I kissed him before he could argue or make some flippant comment.
I still maintain that kissing an incubus solved all of life’s problems. In the same way Myel’s presence comforted me, Rook’s devastatingly sinful kisses melted the world away until all that remained were lips and tongues in a delicious communion of the senses.
Rook pulled back and my lips followed his. I didn’t want it to end.
“If I didn’t stop us, we’d stay here kissing forever,” he breathed.
“Yeah…” I sighed the word. Would that really be so bad?
But… we had a war to fight.
Still that thought didn’t dim my spirits. “Another thing to live for,” I whispered.
“Hell, yeah,” he said softly, gave me a quick peck, one last squeeze of a hug, then he left.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him back.
“I love you,” I said holding him close once again.
He smiled then blew out a nervous breath and whispered, “I love you too, My Flame.” The first time he’d said the words aloud. “I’ll live for you, if you live for me.”
“I’ll live for you, if you live for me,” I repeated the words back to him, it seemed like some vow.
Then we kissed again, which was a mistake. I don’t know how long later Rook broke off with a chuckle, kissed my forehead, then left.
Bayn came over.
We didn’t hug.
“You are lucky to have such dedicated and loving partners,” he said with a glance back at the others, staying innocuous on the other side of my large bedroom.
“You have them too,” I said, taking up one of his massive hands in both of mine. “They’ve become like brothers to each other, and I know they’ll welcome you into their special little fraternity.”
Bayn’s round cheeks rose as he smiled. “I’d like that, even if… I may not be ready for it yet.”
“You’ve gone through a lot in a short time. It’s okay if this takes a while. There’s no hurry. Just make sure you survive this fight and that we win, then you’ll have all the time in the world.”
“You make that sound easy,” he rumbled softly.
“Isn’t that what you’ve been doing your whole life? Fighting?”
He cocked his head. “True.”
“Then this war should be the easy part. Learning how to live peacefully afterward, that… may take some work.”
He blinked at me as if that was some devastating revelation.
“Huh… you’re right.” Then he smiled again. “And here I was worried about the war.” It seemed like a weight lifted off him. He even chuckled softly. “But it’s just one more battle — if a large one — in the war I’ve been fighting my entire life.”
His gaze refocused on me. “Then… after…? You’re right, I don’t know how to love, not really. Or how to live peacefully with others. I… may need your help with that.”
“Love is caring for someone like they’re your best friend and wanting to fuck them at the same time, to paraphrase a wise dragon I know. You’ve got the fucking part down, so the rest shouldn’t be too hard.”
“Do you…” His brow furrowed, his face contorting. He looked away. He couldn’t say it.
“Love you?” I finished.
He nodded.
With Bayn, I wouldn’t mince words. “I wouldn’t say you’re at best friend level yet…
but I’m starting to trust you, and that’s not easy for me.
I’m no longer scared of you, which is something.
I feel… strongly for you, though what exactly those feelings are, I have yet to work out.
So, yeah… I’m not quite there yet either.
But… I’ve seen your heart. You care for your sister and your people.
You didn’t want them following a tyrant like Valnea, and you saved them from themselves.
There’s a lot to admire in that. I don’t think love is too far off for us. ”
Bayn nodded. “You’re certainly the best fuck I’ve ever had,” he said, blunt. I had to smile, because he’d said it completely straight, entirely serious, not a hint of machismo or carnality. I got the feeling he wanted to say more, be… open, share some emotion, but he didn’t.
Yeah, we weren’t there yet.
“So, let’s fight,” I said softly. “Fight for a future where we don’t have to fight anymore. And once we’ve won, we can get married, you can be king, and we can utterly ruin our marriage bed. Then we’ll work on love and all the rest, how’s that sound?”
His smile softened, a secret thing just for me. “Honestly, I’m not sure I wish to be king anymore.”
“Oh, you’re gonna be king,” I insisted. “I don’t want to rule alone. Even with the council we’re setting up, I’d rather you be on it than me. Don’t back out on me, now. And I’m making the others my king-consorts as well. I know that’s not a thing, but if I’m queen I can make it a thing.”
He chuckled. “Deal.”
We stood in awkward silence before he asked, “Are you… able to remove the binding on me?”
Oh right! That.
“I don’t know. I certainly feel differently now than I did then,” I said. “Let me try.”
Through our joined hands I reached into him and felt for my binding.
I didn’t so much try to break it as I did study it.
My knowledge of bindings was progressing quickly, mostly through my own trial and error.
When I poked at this one, it still felt…
unresolved. There was something keeping me from breaking it.
I took an extra bit of time to see if I could examine the binding to figure out what was needed.
The best I could determine was that it required an advanced level of trust. Having fought beside Bayn, I trusted him with my life, but perhaps I still didn’t fully trust him with my heart. That was what this felt like.
I withdrew and opened my eyes to look at Bayn.
“No, not yet. Soon.”
He grimaced.
I needed to give him something. “Until then, let me say this.” I stood a bit taller, my gaze intent on his, my tone not quite demanding, but firm.
“Bayn, you are free to act as you wish, to fight for what you need to fight for, to protect what you wish to protect, to be who you need to be. Let these words supersede anything else I might say to you, any command I might give you whether inadvertently or otherwise.” I drew a long breath. “How’s that sound?”
He nodded.
“Thank you, I know you didn’t want this.” He chuckled. “I’ve almost gotten used to it.” He grew serious again. “But I don’t think I can trust you all the way till you release me from it.”
“Makes sense,” I said. “But you trust me enough to follow me into battle?”
That secret smile returned as he nodded. “Battle is easy, the rest is hard, remember?”
I smiled too. “Right. Now come down here so I can kiss you.”
He cocked his head. “Huh… it worked,” he murmured. I’d commanded him and the binding hadn’t enforced it.
Good.
He knelt and I took that soft-cheeked face in both hands and kissed him.
When we separated, he raised his brow. “Ruin our marriage bed, huh?”
“Yup.”
“I’m looking forward to it.” He rose, and I followed him back to the others.
This time, Bayn did join us on the bed as we all collapsed into sleep. He laid across the foot of the bed, and it said something about how huge the bed was, that he fit without falling off the end, and that none of our feet were anywhere near him.
I hugged Myel close, let his soothing comfort relax me, and tried not to dream of death and destruction.