Chapter 51
Chapter Fifty-One
I had a lot to discuss with Neil, but before that, I needed time to process everything Christine had revealed.
The breeze stirred my hair as I ventured outside for the first time in days. I hoped a walk would help me organise my thoughts.
The harbourside promenade was busy with couples strolling hand in hand, groups of friends bar-hopping, and families eating alfresco. I wove between them, inhaling the salty sea air. In the distance, the harbour bridge sparkled from the stream of car headlights as the sun descended.
Despite feeling better physically, my mind felt like a tangled mess. Christine’s words had validated my instincts about Neil while simultaneously adding new layers of confusion. Was she right? Did his rejection stem from a desire to protect me rather than a lack of interest? The more I mulled it over, the more it made sense. His hot-and-cold behaviour, the way he dismissed me yet looked pained as he did so—it aligned with someone who cared for me but felt he had to cut ties for self-sacrificing reasons.
And this dangerous succession scheme Neil was involved in… Why did it suddenly matter how close we were now, but not back in Singapore when Daniel literally thought Neil and I were sleeping together? Was it my attempted kiss which triggered Neil into defensive mode?
And what about the theory I could become a target? My life had never been smooth sailing, but never before had I faced such a threat. I frowned, chewing my lip. Maybe distancing myself from Neil was the wiser choice, no matter how much it hurt.
But then again, Neil was the closest person I had in my life right now. Maybe ever. I’d confided in him, opened up to him in ways I’d never imagined I could with another person. Was I willing to walk away from that because of some perceived threat that might never materialise?
I ambled along with my head down, lost in my thoughts. At some point, I wandered off the main stretch. My surroundings grew quieter as I found myself on a footpath running alongside the marina. Gleaming yachts bobbed in their moorings, their towering masts swaying like metronomes in the breeze. I stared out at the rippling water.
A familiar bark put a pin in my ruminations, then I felt something rough and tickly on the back of my leg. I looked down and saw Archie’s scruffy face nuzzling my leg, his tongue licking me, tail wagging. My gaze lifted, following Archie’s leash to the man holding it. Our eyes locked. In that charged moment, my internal debate crystallised into a single, resolute thought: No matter what dangers or difficulties lay ahead, I knew with utter certainty that I could never walk away from him. I was going to fight for him, for us—whatever that meant—no matter what it took.
He was dressed in dark shorts that showed off his toned, lightly tanned legs. A fitted t-shirt hugged his broad shoulders and athletic frame, the short sleeves emphasising the bulge of his biceps. The fading sunlight lit the harsh angles of his face. I was entranced.
Archie let out a low, grumbly whine, begging for my attention.
“He’s missed you,” Neil said, eyes crinkling with a fond look directed more at me than the dog.
“Have you missed me?” I asked, emboldened by the strength of my desire for him.
“Yes, I have.” His voice was raw, making my stomach flip.
“Me too. I’ve missed you too.”
Neil stepped closer, searching my face with lingering concern. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better now, thanks. I have a doctor’s note if you need it.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’m glad to hear you’re okay.”
I bit my lip. “Were you worried about me?”
Christine had told me as much, but I yearned to hear it directly from him.
“I had to stop myself from going to your apartment to check on you. I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
I imagined him showing up at my door, his concern laid bare for me to witness. I almost wished he had done so. “It’s probably for the best you didn’t. You could have caught my bug.”
“I thought you might have been avoiding me on purpose.”
“Maybe I wanted to avoid you so much that I physically manifested an illness.”
I meant it as a light-hearted jab, but Neil seemed to take it seriously. He tensed. “I’m sorry. The other day… I was too harsh with you.” He touched his face. “I guess I’m not doing a very good job at keeping my feelings in check. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you. It was never my intention?—”
“Are you trying to protect me?”
Neil recoiled. “Did Christine say that?”
“She might have. Is it true?”
Neil looked around, then he leaned in. “We’ve become… close . Certain people could use that knowledge to their advantage.”
“You mean Daniel? He’s in Singapore, and we’re here. How could he know anything? Even a spy in the company wouldn’t know how we’ve been spending time together outside of work. The very fact he thought we were sleeping with each other when we weren’t proves he doesn’t know what’s really going on.”
“Yes, well, maybe I am being a touch paranoid—but all the same, you don’t know what he’s capable of.”
“Then help me understand.” I lifted my chin and faced him eye to eye, gathering my courage. “I want to keep working with you. I want to stay here, and I want to help you as much as I can, both with Luxmore and Zelthia business. Whatever you need. Whatever the risk.”
Neil’s pupils flared. “You don’t know what you’re asking?—”
“Yes, I do. I’ve played it safe my whole life, and I don’t want to be that person anymore. Even if it could put my life at stake, I want to stay by your side and help you achieve your goals, for my sake, as much as yours.”
Neil searched my eyes, as if trying to verify the truth of my words.
I held his gaze. “Besides, won’t it look suspicious if you suddenly fired your new secretary, who you used to get along so well with, without a good explanation? It might draw unwanted attention.”
Neil rubbed his chin. “That thought has crossed my mind.”
Sensing his weakening resistance, I pressed on. “Wouldn’t it be better if I stayed close to you so you can watch over me?”
“I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t…” His voice lacked conviction. His will was crumbling.
“I’ve made up my mind. This is what I want.”
After a weighted pause, Neil let out a ragged sigh and nodded. “Very well. If that’s what you truly want, I won’t stand in your way.”
“Thank you.”
“But if you ever want to back out, I won’t blame you.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to back down.”
“And I swear to God, I won’t let anything happen to you.” The intensity of his voice gave me chills.
“I know.”
We stayed locked in each other’s sight, the significance of our exchange sinking in. I suddenly felt very conscious of how I had tried to kiss him, how I had felt him on the verge of yielding to my lips and mouth before he pulled away… I turned my attention to Archie to distract myself, scratching his floppy ears and patting his back. “You’re such a good boy, Archie. Has Neil been looking after you well?”
“I took him in to work today. He loved it.”
“He’s looking so much healthier and more energetic than he did at the shelter.”
Neil watched on with a tender look while I doted on Archie. Meanwhile, the last rays of sunlight slipped away, leaving us bathed in the soft glow of street lamps and lit windows.
“Let’s head back,” Neil said.
Archie trotted along in front of us as we walked towards our apartment building in the distance.
“Did Christine mention the work dinner to you when she called?” Neil asked.
“No, she didn’t.”
“I’ve invited a few people out to a restaurant next Friday. Christine and Ed, James, Winston and Carol. You’re invited too, of course. If you would like to attend.”
I perked up at the prospect of a fancy dinner shared with my work family. “I’d love to come!”
“Great.”
We fell silent again until we passed through the lobby. Riding up in the lift, I snuck glances at Neil in my peripheral vision, still hardly believing I had broken through his defences. When we stopped at my floor, Archie yanked Neil towards me as I stepped out.
“He’s quite attached,” Neil said, trying to rein him in. “He doesn’t want to leave you.”
“Then why don’t you walk me to my door? Or is that off-limits?”
Neil’s exasperated sigh didn’t cover up his amusement. “I suppose I can manage that.”
We walked down the hall. Outside my door, I stooped to give Archie one last ruffle of his fur. When I straightened up, I saw Neil staring at me with heated intensity. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it.
I took an uneven breath. “Well… good night.”
“Good night, Milly.”
We lingered, neither of us making a move to part ways, almost like we had forgotten what to do next.
At last, Neil turned to leave, but he hesitated and faced me again. “Just so you know, if things were different… If I wasn’t…” He huffed, raking a hand through his hair. “Well, I wouldn’t even have to think about it.”
With that cryptic remark, he strode back to the lift, tugging Archie along in his wake.