Chapter 52
Chapter Fifty-Two
W hen I returned to work, Neil and I carried on business as usual, yet the subtle shift in our dynamic was palpable. Every shared glance and fleeting brush of contact felt loaded with unresolved tension. Surely it wasn’t my imagination. Neil had to feel it too.
On Friday afternoon, we emerged from a meeting on the fourth floor to head back to our office on the twentieth floor. One lift was out of order, and the other one taking its sweet time to arrive. When the door finally opened, the interior was packed to the brim. Everyone shuffled to make a sliver of space for us. I squeezed in first, while Neil hesitated on the periphery until someone said, “You can get in. There’s room.”
Neil reluctantly jammed up to me. My breath hitched as I noticed every point our bodies made contact: my arm against his, my hip grazing his thigh, his chest centimetres from my face. I dared to glance up at him. He stared straight ahead, jaw clenched. Meanwhile, my whole body was on fire, painfully attuned to his proximity. The lift stopped at nearly every floor on the way up. When enough people exited to create some distance between us, I could breathe again. Neil fidgeted with his tie and watch, avoiding eye contact, until we arrived on our floor.
Once we were both seated at our desks, I tried to re-focus my attention on work, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Neil felt against me, and how good it would feel if he pressed me up against the wall in his office…
I shook the fantasy out of my head. If I had any hope of maintaining a sense of professionalism, I had to restrain myself. I sighed and forced my eyes back to the computer screen, determined to get some work done.
Sometime later, a private message from Neil popped up on the work chat.
Can you please take a final look at the strategy document for me? Then print it out. I need sex
What did I just read?
I did a double take, peering close at the last sentence to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated it. Nope. It was there, all right. S… E… X. I responded with a question mark, then Neil typed three messages in quick succession.
Sex copies
6 copies
Sorry
After I had dislodged my left eyebrow from the top of my forehead, I proceeded with the task at hand. It was just a typo , I told myself. Still, it wasn’t like Neil to make such an egregious error.
The full read and review of the complex document took me over an hour. As the papers came through warm on the printer tray, the sound of Neil’s voice on the phone drifted from his office. He had a consoling tone, and he mentioned the dinner tonight. I figured he must be speaking to either Christine or Winston. I hoped nothing had derailed the dinner plans. James had already dropped out due to a scheduling conflict.
With the document pages collated and stacked, I carried them through to Neil. He had already finished his phone call. He thanked me with a nod and reached for the papers, but as they exchanged hands, he winced, dropping them on his desk.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“It’s nothing. Just a paper cut.” He examined his index finger.
“Here, let me see.” On instinct, I grasped his hand in both of mine, turning his palm upwards to inspect the minor injury. Neil did not resist. The implicit affection of my action struck me too late, and by then I couldn’t bring myself to let go. His hand was warm and a little clammy, the rough pads of his fingers pressing into my smooth palms. I traced my gaze along his veins, exploring every groove and contour. Neither of us moved. At last, I regained control of my faculties. I released Neil’s hand and took a step back, a furious blush bursting onto my cheeks. “Sorry. It’s not even bleeding.”
Neil blinked hard and shook his head. “It’s fine.”
“Is everything okay for tonight?” I asked, changing the subject. “I heard you on the phone before.”
“Winston is unwell and won’t be able to make it.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Is he okay?”
“He has a headache and a runny nose. I told him to go home early.”
“I wonder if it’s the same bug I had.”
“Possibly.” Neil pinched the bridge of his nose. “That makes three drop-outs. James, and Winston and his wife.”
“Maybe we should reschedule.”
Neil shook his head. “Christine has already arranged for her nanny to babysit, so I wouldn’t want to make her change plans this late. She and Ed are still coming. I’ll call the restaurant and let them know there will be fewer people.”
“Good idea.”
Before leaving his office, I paused. “What should I wear tonight?”
Neil’s eyes widened. He seemed lost for words.
I rushed to correct myself. “I mean, how formal is the dress code at the restaurant?”
“R-right. It’s, uh, reasonably upmarket. I’ll wear the same thing I’m wearing now, but you can wear whatever you’re comfortable in. There will be plenty of time to go home and get changed if you need to.”
“Thanks for clearing that up.”
Why, oh why, did I feel the need to get his opinion on such a matter? I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, suddenly finding my shoes very interesting as I made my exit.
I stood in front of my bedroom mirror, smoothing my hands over the cotton sundress I had chosen for the evening. The silhouette was feminine, with a shirred bodice and a mid-length skirt. A delicate blue-and-white floral pattern adorned the fabric. Pretty, but there was a problem: the whisper-thin straps were slightly loose and kept falling down. I also didn’t have a suitable bra to wear underneath, so had to go without one. I considered adding a cardigan or light jacket, just in case it got cold later, but decided against it. Carrying an extra layer seemed like a hassle. No, this outfit would do. I slipped on a pair of heeled sandals, spritzed myself with perfume, then headed out the door.
The sun remained high in the sky as I walked to the restaurant, its rays beating down and reflecting off the harbour. People lounged on the benches lining the waterfront, chatting and eating ice creams, basking in the early evening sunshine.
The restaurant was on the upper level of the downtown ferry building. I entered a spacious foyer lit by a chandelier resembling a cluster of floating candles. A host greeted me. “Do you have a reservation?”
“It should be under Neil Kingston.”
“Please, go on through.”
“Thank you.”
I climbed the stairs. The restaurant interior was modern and elegant with a black-and-white colour scheme. On one side of the room, a glass wine rack extended from floor to ceiling, backlit with yellow light, housing a vast collection of wine. On the other side of the room, large windows and French doors faced a balcony over the harbour and ferry terminal. I saw Neil, seated by himself at a table indoors. He wore his white shirt with one button open at the collar, his suit jacket flung over the chair behind him. With fluttering anticipation, I approached. He glanced up, his mouth falling open a fraction. Appreciation flitted in his eyes. I lifted the fallen right strap of my dress while his stare lingered on my shoulders and loose hair.
“Hello.” I pulled out the chair opposite him.
“You look…” he swallowed, hesitating over how to finish the sentence he had started, “lovely.”
“Thank you. So do you. I mean, you look good. As always.” I cringed inwardly as I stumbled over my words.
“Christine and Ed are running late.”
I nodded along, trying my best to act casual. Even though we had just spent the day together, I felt nervous tonight.
“Would you like a drink while we wait?” Neil asked.
“Yes, please.”
He passed me the drinks menu. I scanned the list, weighing my options, until a waiter approached the table. “Can I take your drinks order?” the young woman asked.
“I’ll have a lychee cosmopolitan, please,” I said.
“And for you, sir?”
“A bottle of San Pellegrino, thank you,” Neil said.
“Anything else?”
Neil looked to me. I shook my head.
“That’s all,” Neil said.
After the server left, I distracted myself from the awkwardness of the situation by glancing around the sophisticated dining space. My focus drifted to the French doors and the balcony beyond. The doors had been propped open, allowing the murmur of conversation and clinking of glasses to reach my ears. Sheer curtains billowed in the breeze. Through the gauzy panels, I could make out intimate round tables dotted across the balcony. Diners laughed and chatted, soaking up the last rays of golden-hour sunlight as they sipped wine and picked at shared plates. The atmosphere was much more casual than the formality indoors.
“I’m afraid I couldn’t get a table outside,” Neil said.
I waved him off. “This is perfect.”
Our drinks arrived. Condensation dripped down the chilled glass as I brought the light pink cocktail to my lips. The sweet taste of lychee and kick of vodka made me sigh. Meanwhile, Neil’s phone buzzed. He swiped at the screen. “It’s Christine,” he said. “Her babysitter has fallen through.”
“Oh no. Does that mean she can’t come?”
“She’s still coming. Ed’s staying home with Rosie.”
“Ah. Poor Ed. So, it’ll just be the three of us now.”
Neil glanced at his watch. “It might be awhile before she gets here. Shall we order an appetiser in the meantime?”
“Good idea. I’m getting hungry already.”
We ordered some bread with dips. As we waited for the food, we talked about work to fill in the time. Somehow—maybe it was the alcohol kicking in—I felt bold enough to bring the conversation to Zelthia and Neil’s schemes. “How are things progressing in Singapore?” I asked.
Neil stiffened. “You shouldn’t concern yourself with any of that.”
“I thought we agreed I was going to help you.”
“You would help me the most by staying out of it as much as possible. Besides, it’s a waiting game now. I’ve already set things in motion. Now we’ll see if the right dominoes fall.”
The bread arrived. We nibbled in silence until Neil’s phone rang. He answered the call. “Everything okay?” After a pause, his frown deepened. “I see… That’s too bad… Well, some other time, then. Have a good night. Bye.” He hung up. “That was Christine. I’m afraid she won’t be joining us after all. Car trouble on top of the babysitter issue.”
“Oh dear.”
An awkward pause followed as the reality of our situation sank in. We were well and truly alone now for this intimate dinner.
I spoke up. “So, now that it’s just the two of us… Are we still having dinner, or…?”
Neil rubbed the back of his neck. “It seems like the universe has conspired for this to happen.”
“I agree.”
He sighed. “Well, I suppose it would be a shame to waste the reservation. If you’re happy to stay…”
“Yes, of course. I’m happy if you are.”
“All right, then.” He caught the waiter’s attention and informed her the other two wouldn’t be coming after all. “Is there any chance we could move to a table outside on the balcony instead?” he asked.
The waiter nodded and showed us to a secluded little table down at the far end of the balcony. The sun was melting into pink and orange hues on the horizon. Strings of lights twinkled on the balcony railing, and boats drifted across the shimmering harbour. Neil held my chair out for me. Our bodies brushed as I moved to sit down. Neil settled opposite me, menu in hand. “Order whatever you’d like,” he said.
“Even the caviar?”
“Yes.”
“What about a bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac?”
Neil’s eyes crinkled. “Now I know you’re just teasing me.”
I chuckled. “Yeah. I probably didn’t even say it right. My tastes are much simpler than that. I wouldn’t know how to appreciate it.”
We decided on our orders—a salmon dish for me and mushroom risotto for Neil.
By the time our meals arrived, the sun had slipped below the horizon, and a fresh chill laced the air. I hugged myself for warmth.
“Getting cold?” Neil asked.
“A little.”
“I thought by now you would have learned to dress appropriately for the weather.” His teasing tone took the sting from his words.
I shot him a mock glare. “It was hot before.”
The waiter must have overheard our exchange, because she returned with a woollen throw and offered it to me.
“Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome.” She lit the tea light candle on our table before retreating.
I met Neil’s eyes through the golden glow of candlelight. Shadows danced across his face, accentuating his sharp features—the cut of his jawline, the intensity of his deep-set eyes. Those eyes softened as they settled on me, taking in my blanket-clad form.
“What?” I asked sheepishly.
“You look cosy.”
“I am. Turns out I didn’t need to dress warmer, after all.”
His lips quirked. “Or were you just relying on wearing something from me again?”
“No. Well, maybe subconsciously…” I fiddled with the blanket’s tasselled edge, avoiding his stare.
When I chanced a glance back at him, he wore a look of smug satisfaction. I felt sure my racing heart was visible on my face. I sipped water, then busied myself with my meal, spearing a flaky piece of salmon on my fork. The fish was cooked to perfection, the pearly pink flesh giving way to the prongs. As I took a bite, the tender meat melted on my tongue, imbued with the flavours of lemon and herbs.
“How is it?” Neil asked.
“Delicious.”
After the main course came dessert. Crème br?lée for me and an espresso for Neil. By then, our conversation had drifted into personal territory.
“How are your travel plans coming along?” Neil asked, putting his cup down.
The question felt like a lead weight dropping in my stomach, but I forced a tight smile. “I’ve got my visa all sorted for the UK, and my friend Hannah said I can crash at her place in London until I get settled.” I paused, pushing the crème br?lée around in its dish with my spoon. “Then I plan to do some backpacking around Europe for a few months before trying to find a more permanent job and living situation over there.”
“Looking forward to it?” Neil’s voice was carefully neutral, giving no hint of his own feelings on the matter.
I hesitated, my growing doubts taking root. Did I really want to leave this all behind—my job, my home, him ? Mucking around in Europe seemed hollow now compared to the path my life was taking here.
“To be honest…” I dragged my spoon across the caramelised sugar topping, watching it splinter and crack. “I’ve been having some second thoughts lately. I’m not as excited as I used to be.”
Neil raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Why is that?”
“I booked the trip because I wanted to escape my life, but now…” I met Neil’s eyes in the flickering candlelight. “I no longer have such a strong desire to escape.”
Neil held my gaze for a heated moment before asking carefully, “I hope you’re not reconsidering because of me?”
I broke eye contact, my face warming at his presumption. But he wasn’t entirely wrong. “I suppose you’re one factor,” I admitted, twisting the spoon between my fingers.
“You should still go. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your trip for my sake. You can always come back if it doesn’t work out.”
“Will I still have a job when I get back?”
“Yes, provided I’m still CEO.”
“Then what about the apartment?”
“It’s yours, Milly. I might rent it out in your absence, but you can have it back when you return.”
I gawped, stunned. I hadn’t expected Neil to let me stay in the lavish apartment long-term, since we had always framed it as a temporary measure. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“But it’s worth so much more than I’m paying you?—”
“It’s not a selfless act by any means. I want you to live somewhere I know is secure, and I want you close by so I can keep an eye on you.”
“Keep an eye on me?” I questioned, though his possessiveness secretly thrilled me.
“I got you involved in dangerous business. It’s my responsibility to keep you safe. I don’t think I could live with myself if I let something happen to you.”
His solemn declaration struck me deeply. Throughout my life, I had always fended for myself. But with Neil, I felt protected and cared for in a way I never had before. “Nothing is going to happen to me,” I assured him.
He nodded. “I’ll make sure of it.”
He brought his coffee cup to his lips, reminding me of the neglected crème br?lée in the china ramekin on my plate. The custard was smooth and rich, eliciting a little whimper from me.
Neil watched on with a look of amusement. I paused, wondering if I had got some on my face. I dabbed at my mouth with a serviette.
“You’re clearly enjoying that,” he said.
“It’s divine. Want to try some?”
“No, thank you. I don’t care much for sweet things.”
“Oh, that’s right.”
As I savoured the last few bites, Neil’s expression turned thoughtful.
“Something on your mind?” I asked.
He rubbed his neck. “Are you sure you want to keep working for me when— if —you return?”
I stopped eating. “You don’t want me to?”
“It’s not that,” he said quickly, seeming flustered. “I mean, you have so much potential. Why not finish your medical degree?”
I shook my head without needing to consider his question. “The only reason I went to med school was because that’s what people with good grades do. My life revolved around trying to make my dad proud of me; be the top student in school, get into medicine on a scholarship, become a brain surgeon or something equally impressive. Even after he died, I’ve always been striving towards something. It would be nice to slow down, live life day by day, and appreciate what I have. I don’t know. Maybe I’m not wired for that.”
“You won’t know until you try.”
Just sharing those thoughts with him was a weight off my chest. I set my spoon down in the empty ramekin. “What about you? What do you plan to do when all this is over? If your plans succeed—or if they fail—will you go back to Singapore?”
Neil shook his head. “I’d like to stay here. I’d like to leave Zelthia behind me and do something else.”
“What will you do?”
He shrugged. “Move to the countryside, live in a big house with my pets, grow vegetables, learn to cook, maybe start a non-profit…”
His ideas resonated, aligning with my own dream of a simpler, more meaningful life. “That sounds perfect . But what about…” I faltered, losing my nerve.
“Hmm?”
“Any plans to share your life with someone else?”
His dark eyes burned into me. “That remains to be seen.”
Under the table, our knees bumped, sending tremors up my leg. I thought of all the signs over recent weeks and months pointing to his affection for me. His playful banter, his protectiveness, his lingering gazes… It gave me the courage to keep my knee pressed against his.
Neil tensed, but he didn’t pull away. He pinned me with a smouldering look instead.
“Is there someone you like?” I dared to ask.
His voice dropped low. “I think you know the answer to that.”
A shuddering thrill coursed through my veins. I leaned a tad closer to him, but before I could say or do anything else, the waiter approached to collect our empty dishes. I retracted to the back of my seat.
“How was everything?” she asked. “Did you enjoy your meal?”
“Yes,” I said, a little breathless. “It was perfect. Thank you.”
Neil nodded in agreement as he produced his wallet. “Here. This is for you.”
He discreetly slipped her some cash, causing her eyes to widen. “Thank you!”
I didn’t see how much the tip was, but judging by her reaction, it must have been generous. She walked away without clearing the dishes, but she turned back and quickly gathered them before scurrying off with a mumbled apology.
My attention returned to Neil. He drank me in with unconcealed longing. His lips were parted, and I could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest beneath his slightly rumpled shirt. On the tablecloth between us, the dying tea light candle flickered, then extinguished.
“Shall we go home?” Neil asked, his voice steady.
“Yes,” I replied, my stomach swooping with anticipation. “Let’s go.”
I couldn’t decipher what he intended for the rest of the evening, but I was ready to find out.
I folded the blanket into a neat square and placed it on my seat. Neil paid the bill. As we left the restaurant, I shivered, the cold breeze whipping my bare shoulders and arms. Neil’s suit jacket was around me before I could protest. His body heat lingered in the fabric as I slipped my arms through the oversized sleeves. We fell into step side by side.
“So, you’re lending me your clothes after all,” I said.
“I never said I wouldn’t,” Neil replied.
I couldn’t hide the giddy smile which burst onto my face. Neil smiled too.
We passed shops, restaurants, hotels, and offices before reaching our apartment building. Neil held the door for me as we entered the lobby. No one joined us in the lift. Neil pressed the buttons for both my floor and his, clarifying that he wasn’t about to invite me back to his place. I was too overwhelmed to feel disappointed.
The door opened on my floor.
“Good night, Milly,” Neil murmured.
“Good night,” I said, biting my lip. “Thank you so much for dinner. I had a lovely time.”
“Me too.”
I was about to step out into the corridor when I realised I was still wearing Neil’s suit jacket. I stood in the door’s path to keep it from closing as I shrugged the jacket off. “Wait. Before I forget. Here. Or else I’ll probably try to wash it and ruin it like your sweater.”
Neil accepted his jacket, his fingers grazing mine. He guided it back onto his broad shoulders. As he smoothed the lapels, his gaze fell upon my collarbone, exposed where my dress strap had slipped down yet again. Before I could fix it, he reached out and hooked his fingers under the thin strap. He painstakingly slid it back into place, his touch scorching my skin as it trailed over my bare shoulder and collarbone. I trembled in response.
Neil seemed hypnotised throughout the action. Then he suddenly snapped out of it. He started to pull his hand away, but like an automatic reflex, I covered his hand with my own, pressing it flush to my shoulder.
He did not resist.
I looked into his eyes, and I knew I had broken him.