Chapter 7 Olivia
SEVEN
olivia
Cooper called early this morning; it appeared Jason decided to be a parent today. While I was thankful for the day by myself, it would be great if he were more reliable. My schedule was flexible, but I’d learned over the years that I couldn’t count on him for much.
“We’re going to Six Flags today.” The excitement in Cooper’s voice was enough to stir my own excitement. My own relationship with Jason aside, I wanted Cooper to have a good relationship with his dad.
“Wow, Coop! That sounds like a great time. Don’t forget your sunscreen, okay?”
If there was one thing I could thank Jason for, outside of his sperm donation that one drunken night, it was for handling the annual trip to Six Flags.
It was one of Cooper’s favorite trips, but it drained my finances, and roller coasters made me green.
But Jason was good at that; he lived in the world of grand gestures.
I handled homework, permission slips, and early morning rides to school. Jason got to be “Fun Dad.”
Jason wasn’t meant to be around for a long time—but he was supposed to be a fun time.
God, I was young, stupid, and he was wickedly handsome.
I was in my sophomore year at Merrimack, and Jason was old enough to know better.
But I was dazzled by the man who had the funds to take me away for the weekend.
Granted, it was just a hotel in the city, but it was a nicer hotel than I had ever been in.
He used that same method now with Cooper, as if one day could make up for all the times he was absent.
I hadn’t thought much further than the weekend, and hadn’t even thought far enough to bring condoms. Alarm bells should have been blaring when Jason promised me that pulling out would be enough.
Why didn’t I insist on his walking down to the hotel store and buying them?
After the first time, it was like I figured I couldn’t make things any worse, and we didn’t even bother to pull out.
Sophie: Did Jackass show up for Coop last night?
My best friend Sophie had gotten into more than one shouting match with my ex over the years. The most notable was at his Christening, where he’d tried to replace her as godmother at the last minute.
Me: Can you talk?
Sophie was an attorney, and I could never cold call her, just in case she’d snuck her phone into court. The phone rang in my hand almost instantly.
“What did he do?”
“Ah, Jason was a little late, but remarkably good last night. But Austin showed up at my house with one of his teammates looking for a place to stay.”
“What teammate?”
“Does it matter?”
She sighed loudly. I had been around my brother’s teammates for years, and none of it phased me anymore. Sophie still drooled whenever she came to a game. For someone whose career relied on her being calm, cool, and collected, she had no cool when a hot ballplayer was in the vicinity. “Yes.”
“Nate Reaves.”
“My God, Olivia. That boy is a fine ass specimen.”
“Yeah, Soph. He’s a boy. Austin has a weird custody arrangement with him.”
“But what about Austin? Did he leave Ashley?”
“He did.” I braced myself for the whoops and cheers. Sophie didn’t disappoint. I had to hold the phone away from my ear to prevent her delighted squeal from rupturing my eardrum.
“Thank God. I hated that bitch.”
Never one for woman-on-woman drama, if Sophie said something negative about another woman, it was because the bitch deserved it. “Well, Austin is done. He’s heading to an attorney after he trains today. How’s Brandon?”
Sophie and Brandon had married less than six months before, and while they were my favorite couple, in the first month of their marriage, they faced some major tests.
His mother had gotten sick with cancer, and he’d spent half his time in the city with Sophie and the rest of his time in Portland, Maine.
I had done my best to be supportive of both of them, but when we talked about her illness, it brought back memories of my mother’s treatment and her death.
I lost my mother just before I became a mother myself, and there were days I still needed my mom.
I constantly wondered if Austin would have been as active in my life if my mom were still alive.
“His mom’s treatment is done for now. So, he’s been home for a solid two weeks straight. We might even time it with my ovulation.”
I always waited for Sophie to bring up the subject of pregnancy. Not knowing where they were in their journey, I never wanted to add to the pressure on her. She knew she could talk to me about it anytime, but outside of a comment here and there, she always glanced over the subject.
“That’s good news with his mom. He must be relieved.”
“He is, but I don’t think he’ll relax until she has her scans next month. It’s like even positive news has conditions. But enough about me—if I were you, I’d be in trouble with the temptation of that man in my house.”
“Oh, and he cooks, Soph.” We’d talked plenty about our dream partners, and the fantasy men had always cooked. To his credit, Bran was great with the grill and loved to smoke on the weekend. But day-to-day? He helped by ordering takeout.
“Oh, fuck me right now. How are you supposed to resist that?”
“Um, easy. He can’t legally drink.”
Her laughter rang loudly in my ears. Once she got control of herself, she took a deep breath and spoke. “That’s adorable. But I’d still fuck him if I were you.”
“If only it hadn’t been so long—”
“Wait. I thought you slept with the Tinder guy?” Out of desperation last month, I’d signed up for the apps, all of them. Only one guy was even remotely interesting enough for me to date.
“Gah. No. I thought about it. He was attractive enough, but I just didn’t feel like it. No chemistry.” I’d always been a sucker for good chemistry; it had led me down some pretty strange paths in the past. But it also made me comfortable saying no when there was none.
Sophie was quiet, and I could almost hear the mental calculations. “Two years? Two fucking years, Olivia?”
“Four.” It had been four years since a man had touched me, and I’d done okay handling the job on my own. “At least with my vibrator, I know I’ll always finish.”
Also, that was right around the time I had been outed for some of my more uncommon sexual activities.
Having been raised with a healthy dose of bodily autonomy, I didn’t feel shame because of what I did or didn’t do in the bedroom.
But the last bit of drama had come a little too close to impacting my son.
“Ugh. You know that puts you in a dangerous place with that fresh meat.”
“Don’t objectify him. He’s a human being.” I rolled my eyes at myself because I had indeed objectified him in multiple fantasies.
“Yeah. Yeah. So are you. But we all have a little bit of animal in us.”
“Enough,” I said. Sophie heard my tone, the same one I used every time she pushed me too far.
“Okay,” she answered with a sigh. “I gotta go. I have about four more hours of work, and Brandon is home early tonight. I have to get my ass out of here on time.”
We said goodbye, and I promised her I would meet her for yoga on Saturday. I checked the time and, when I realized I likely had hours to myself, put on my bikini, grabbed my favorite waterproof toy, and headed out to the pool.