Chapter 11 #2
Those Marks twins are so smart and sweet.
Fools. They’d all believed the facade. Straight As had been our only option.
“Hey.” Luke nudged my foot with his. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I shook myself out of my musings. “Just thinking.”
“I can see that.” Luke could always tell when I was deep in my own head. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.” I inhaled a deep breath, holding the clean air in my lungs.
“Change your mind, I’m here.”
Yes, he was. But he didn’t press me to confide the worries and fears plaguing my mind. He was simply there, as constant as the river flowing through the land. Strong and bold and steady.
Luke was a good man. The best part about him was that he didn’t want anyone to put him on a pedestal. He was happy with his boots in the dirt.
I studied him as he rowed, taking in the strong lines of his face.
Normally he shaved before work, even on the weekends, but not today.
The dusting of dark whiskers the same color as his hair accentuated his handsome features.
The stubble, combined with the small white scar above his left eyebrow, gave him a rugged edge.
“Where’d you get that scar?” I asked. “On your eyebrow.”
“Guess.” Luke smirked. He’d made me do the same with a scar on his shoulder.
That one he’d earned in the line of duty as a younger cop. Some asshole, high on meth, had pretended to go along with his arrest for breaking into an auto-parts store. Right before Luke had put him in cuffs, the guy had slashed out with a knife.
“Breaking up a bar fight?” I asked.
He shook his head.
“Did someone throw a punch at you?”
“No.” He shook his head again and jerked his chin to a small box at my side. The top was clear and inside, it was separated into tiny compartments. Each held a hook adorned with a brightly tied fly.
“A fish hook?”
“Yeah. About three years ago, the mayor asked me if I’d take him fishing. He was in my office and saw a picture of me holding this big rainbow I caught the summer prior. It wasn’t all that long after he’d appointed me chief, so of course I had to go. The guy’s my boss.”
“And he hooked you.” I had a sudden dislike for the Clifton Forge mayor.
“Yep. We went out one afternoon, not far from town. I got him all set up, showed him how to make a cast. I bent to pick up my own pole when a wasp came after him. He freaked out, started flinging his pole everywhere. Hooked me right above the eye.”
I hissed. “Ouch.”
“I’m just glad it didn’t get me in the eye.”
“Me too.” The world would be a darker place without his shining blue gaze. “Did you get your eyes from your mother or father?”
“My dad. My mom always used to joke that the only thing she passed down was her dimple.”
I giggled, wishing I’d had the chance to meet his mother, that Luke still had her. “Genetics are weird. Take Presley and me. She had to get glasses when we were in fifth grade but I have always had perfect vision.”
“And your eyes are bluer than hers.”
“They are?”
He nodded. “Without a doubt. You’re brighter.”
“You’re biased.”
“Definitely.”
He rowed us for another hour, steering the raft down the best channel as its current propelled us forward. We traded bits and pieces about ourselves, much like we did over the cribbage board, until Luke pointed ahead. “That’s our campsite for tonight.”
“Okay, great.” Where was the campsite?
“You have no idea what I’m pointing at, do you?”
“Not a clue.”
He chuckled. “You’ll see.”
I clutched tight to the raft as he maneuvered us toward the riverbank. The raft dug into the gravel on the shore, stopping us with a hard bump.
Luke sprinted into action, his movements quick but graceful, and hauled the front of the raft farther onto the shore with a strong heft. Then he secured a line from the raft to a nearby tree.
“What can I do?” I asked.
“Let’s set up camp. Then we’ll explore.”
I took orders as he told me where to take things from the raft.
The firepit was nothing more than a ring of stones, the insides charred.
It sat in the middle of the campsite clearing.
We unloaded a rubber tub of dry goods and one of the two coolers he’d packed.
Luke told me that we’d leave one for the latter half of the week, and as long as we kept it sealed, it would stay cold for the next few days.
“Can I help with the tent?” I asked after hauling out my own dry bag.
“I got it. Why don’t you get us out a couple of waters? We’ll take them with us when we hike around.”
My task took a whole thirty seconds, but it gave me plenty of time to appreciate my sexy camp director as he erected the tent.
The T-shirt Luke had worn today was stretched tight across his broad chest. The sleeves strained against the strength of his biceps and triceps. I’d learned a lot about those arms, how they could pin me in place as Luke drove inside me. How it felt to be wrapped in their warmth.
A shiver rolled down my spine and excitement for the night to come in our sleeping bag stirred in my belly.
The show was over too soon and Luke took my hand as we set off into the surrounding area.
Trees towered above us, shielding the afternoon sun. The grasses around the tent and firepit were short, probably from people treading on them, but as we made our way through the evergreens, the stems brushed my knees. Pine scented the air. The rush of the river beyond reverberated off the cliffs.
“Is this a hiking trail?” I asked, following Luke down a narrow dirt trail.
“Not exactly.” Luke shot me a smirk over his shoulder as we walked single file.
A foul stench tainted the clean air and I ducked my nose into my armpit. Not me. And it wasn’t Luke.
“Did something die out here or—”
Luke stepped aside and my question became pointless.
“No.” My jaw dropped. “I can’t use that.”
There was a metal circle on the trail, about three feet in diameter. On the top, a stained toilet lid.
There were no walls. No protection.
There was no toilet paper.
“Need to pee?” Luke asked, taking a fold of white tissue from his pocket.
I scrunched up my nose, muttering, “Yes.”
I hadn’t gone since we’d left the house this morning.
“I’ll wait over there.” He turned his back and walked toward some trees, out of range.
I stared at the toilet, then gulped and opened it with the toe of my shoe. The stench was unbearable as I squatted, hovering as I peed faster than I ever had in my life.
The smell wasn’t nice, but I could breathe out of my mouth. This wasn’t clean by any stretch but I had strong thighs. What freaked me out most was the exposure.
Ahead of me, the river sparkled under the early-evening sun. Our tent and the cliffs were visible on the opposite shore. And here I was, peeing, for the world to see. If another raft came floating by, they’d find me squatting with my jeans bunched at my ankles.
I hurried to cover myself, then cringed as I walked away.
“That was an experience,” I said when I reached Luke’s side. But if that was the worst part of camping, I’d survive.
“Hungry?” he asked. “We can have an early dinner and chill by the fire or we can hike for a while.”
“Dinner. But only if you let me help.”
He shook his head. “This week, dinner is on me.”
“But—”
“Let me spoil you.”
“Okay.” Had I ever been spoiled before? I had a feeling Luke’s version would be amazing, so I nodded and stood on my toes to brush a kiss against his lips.
We loaded our arms with fallen branches for firewood as we made our way to the tent. Luke found a few larger logs that he cut apart with a hatchet. And while he kindled a fire, I sat in a collapsible chair and decided camping was definitely my thing.
“I expected hot dogs,” I said as Luke set a grate over the red coals in the pit. On the grate were colorful kabobs of chicken, peppers, onion and potato.
“We eat good on the river.”
“What else can I expect?”
“Steak and potatoes. Shrimp scampi. Barbecue chicken. Greek burgers. Eggs and pancakes for breakfast. And hopefully trout if we catch any.”
“Wow.”
“There’s not much I can’t cook over a fire.”
“Apparently.” I laughed, sipping my beer.
After my days at the Warrior clubhouse, I’d stopped drinking entirely. Even when Luke had one at his place, I hadn’t wanted one. But with him, I didn’t need to worry about losing control or lowering my guard. There wasn’t a person on earth who’d protect me the way he would.
It was entertaining to watch Luke cook. He was in his element here, so comfortable and relaxed. And when he handed me my plate, I devoured the meal and slipped into a blissful food coma.
I’d put on some weight over the past two months, but it felt necessary. I felt stronger. Capable. When the time came for a fight, the enemy wouldn’t find a woman who’d wasted away under the weight of her fears and doubts.
Not that I’d stand a chance.
“This is peaceful, isn’t it?” Luke asked from his chair beside mine.
I hummed in agreement.
“This is my favorite thing to do.”
The evening light was fading, though there’d be hours before darkness settled, but the lowering sun made everything glow. Even the bugs flying between the trees glittered.
Birds chirped. The fire crackled. Luke didn’t stay seated for long. He’d pop up and down, busying himself with tasks like tying up the garbage and making sure the cooler and food boxes were sealed tight. And he pampered me, not letting me do anything more strenuous than lifting a drink to my lips.
When he finally settled into his seat to stay, we watched the world move around us. The sun dropped and with it the temperature, raising goose bumps on my arms.
“You’re cold.” Luke shot out of his chair, going to the tent. He rifled around inside before coming back out with a blanket to drape across my lap. Then he stoked the fire, adding more wood.
When he sat down, he turned his face to the sky. There was enough of a clearing in the trees that we’d be able to see the stars.
“There.” He pointed to a glimmering flicker, the first star of the night. “Out here, we’ll see the Milky Way after dark.”
It happened faster than I’d expected. The heavens morphed from cobalt to midnight. The velvety black was dusted with diamonds as billions upon billions of stars shown down onto our paradise.
“When I was a little girl, I read this book that said stars were actually fairies watching over us as we slept. I don’t know why, but that story always stayed with me. As I got older, I wondered what the fairies watching me would have said.”
Luke reached over from his chair and laid a hand over my wrist. “That your beauty is unmatched. Your bravery runs deep. And that you guard your pure heart.”
He flattered me, this man.
I wished that what he’d said was true. Mostly, I suspected the fairies would be disappointed. Maybe disgusted. But I wanted to make them proud. And for the first time, I was beginning to understand how.
It would begin with a story.
The truth.
“What do you want in life?” I asked Luke.
He sighed, his grip on my wrist loosening as his fingers drew tiny circles on my skin. “I want a nice home. A good job.”
“You have those.”
He nodded. “I do. And I aim to keep them.”
“What else? What’s something you don’t have?”
“A dog for a best friend. To talk about life every day with someone I love. To get my wife pregnant on a rainy day and raise my children the way my parents raised me. To end each day with a smile.”
My heart melted. “Great answer.”
“What do you want in life?” He turned my own question onto me.
I don’t know. “A smile at the end of every day sounds nice.”
I turned my cheek to study Luke’s profile. The stars above were stunning. But still, he had them beat.
“Presley and I used to cuddle together in the middle of the night when our parents were asleep and talk about what we wanted in life. Her answer was always the same. She wanted to live in a small town where everyone knew her name. Some place old-fashioned.”
“And you?”
“My answer always changed because I don’t think I ever found the right answer. I picked things other people loved and hoped that if I got them, maybe I’d love them too.” Like California.
“I think that’s normal. To change.”
“Maybe.” Except it felt indecisive. Like if I really knew myself, I’d know what I wanted for the future. I’d have dreams.
“What is your answer now?”
“I don’t have one,” I admitted. “Which I think is better than guessing, don’t you?” At the moment, I was content to just be . . . lost.
“Yeah, I do.” Luke stood and held out a hand to help me from my chair. Then he led me to the tent.
“What about the fire?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
While I changed into some sweats, he collected a bucket of water from the river and doused the fire’s red coals. Then he joined me, stripping off his boots, jeans and shirt, then slipped into our campsite bed.
Luke made love to me, long and sweet, before curling me into his embrace as he gently drifted off to sleep.
We’d spent every night together since the first, and he’d never fallen asleep first. But here, he must have felt safe to let down his own guard.
So I breathed him in, soaked in the strength of his arms.
What do I want from life?
I wanted to be the woman Luke got pregnant on a rainy day. I wanted to love the dog who’d be his best friend.
I was still choosing other people’s dreams and trying to retrofit them as my own. If I was going to find my own answer, I had to make sense of my life. I had to unwind the mess.
Starting with the truth.
It was time to tell Luke everything.