Chapter 8 #2
I stared straight ahead, bringing a long-neck to my lips. My kid sister saw the best in me. She saw past all my mistakes and flaws and tried to get me to see what she did, but I wasn’t there yet, and didn’t know if I ever would be.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said, resting her head on my shoulder. “Taking a chance on this music thing. I know it’s not easy for you to put yourself out there like that, and share your songs, but it’s gonna be worth it, you’ll see.”
“Time will tell.” I refused to have high expectations. I figured if it didn’t work out, and people didn’t like me, or my music, I could always go back to working with my buddies.
“I hope you’re ready to start fielding offers from those groupies.”
“Ugh.” Just knowing that was one of the many things standing between me and my shot with Grace pissed me off. “No interest, thanks.”
She laughed. “Since when are you not interested in random hook-ups?”
“Since I… kind of met someone.” My sister was one of the few people I could talk to about shit like this, and I knew she wouldn’t judge me.
“Oh my God, are you serious?” She stepped in front of me, wide-eyed, as she gripped my shoulders. “Tell me everything, and don’t leave out a single detail.”
“Would you calm down?” I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say I was getting married, just that I met someone I like.”
She guided me towards the teak sectional in the corner of the stone patio. “I don’t care. Sit your ass down and tell me about her.”
I watched my nephews play, trying to remember a time when I’d been that care-free. I’d been trapped inside the prison of my own mind for so long I forgot what freedom felt like. I thought once I got out from behind the confines of those steel bars it would be better. But it wasn’t. Just different.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, peeling the label off my brown bottle.
I’d limited myself to two beers tonight, since I was driving. That felt like a Herculean effort, since I was seriously considering showing up at Grace’s door without an invite, and could use a little liquid courage to make it easier.
“Where did you meet her? What does she do? Is she pretty?”
I shook my head, chuckling at her rapid-fire questions. “Her sister is married to Mav Stone.”
Her jaw dropped. “Oh my God, seriously?” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “I still have to get used to the idea you’re actually hanging out with rich and famous people now.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but Mav and his wife, Codie, they’re good people. In fact, everyone I’ve met in this business so far are pretty cool, and down to earth.”
“I’m glad.” She gripped my knee. “But don’t try to change the subject. I want to hear about the girl.”
“The girl.” I smirked. “Well, her name is Grace. She’s a therapist—”
“Shut. Up!” Her hazel eyes were wide and bright before she fell back on the cushions and squealed.
“Control yourself,” I muttered. “Your kids are going to think you’re having a seizure.”
She sat up, giggling. “I can’t believe you’re seeing a therapist.”
“I’m not seeing a—” I shook my head. “Never mind. You’re not hearing me.”
“Yes, I am. What does she look like?”
“She’s a knock-out, trust me on that.”
She pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her denim shorts. “She’s got to be on social media, right? Or have a website for her business or something. I’m dying to see what she looks like. What did you say her name was?”
“Grace Harlow.”
“Such a pretty name,” she said, her fingers flying over the screen. “Oh my God!” She looked up at me with her mouth hanging open before flashing the screen in my direction. “Is that her?”
My gut twisted when I saw a photo of her wrapped up in another guy’s arms. I snatched the phone out of my sister’s hand. She’d posted it a few months ago. “Must be the lawyer she dated,” I said, clenching my jaw so hard my teeth hurt. “They broke up a couple of months ago, I think.”
She tapped my closed fist. “Look at you.” She laughed. “You’re clenching your fist so hard your knuckles are turning white. Jealous much?”
“Jealous of this loser?” I handed the phone back to her. “She had to get herself off when she was with that asshat. She came to me because she was looking for a real man.”
She blushed before giggling and covering her mouth with her hand. Leaning in, she whispered, “So, you’ve already slept with her?”
No way was I giving my sister the dirty details. “None of your business.”
“Aww, you’re no fun. I’m an old married lady now. I want to live vicariously through my hot single brother who’s about to be a superstar—”
“Stop it.” I swiped a hand over my face. “Don’t say shit like that. We don’t know where this is going and I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
“Hey.” Her voice was soft and she waited until my eyes met hers before she said, “It’s okay to want this, Taz. It’s okay to be hopeful and expect good things to start happening for you. You’ve paid your dues. You don’t have to go on punishing yourself for your past mistakes. No one else is.”
“Not true,” I said, my voice laced with my emotion. “My daughter is.”
Rachel sank back, sighing. “No progress on that front, huh?”
“Not yet, but my publicist said she’d reach out to her. Let her hear that song I wrote for her. Hopefully that’ll soften her up a bit.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “She’ll come around, hon. You’ve just got to give her time.”
“I’ve been out of prison for four years.” I drew a breath, lowering my voice, when the kids looked up at me. “How much more time do I have to lose with her?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could pave the way for you, but when I’ve tried to reach out to her, she ignores me too. Your bitchy ex has poisoned her mind against all of us.”
“Don’t trash talk Robin, sis. She was there when I couldn’t be. She raised that girl, and I’m sure she’s done a good job. I can’t blame her for being over-protective. If our situations were reversed, I would be too.”
She sighed. “When are you going to give yourself a break? It’s so easy for you to give everyone else the benefit of the doubt, but you’re still beating up on yourself. And I hate it.”
I closed my eyes when I saw her eyes fill with tears. “Don’t do that. You know I can’t stand to see a woman cry. Especially you or Mama.”
She leaned over to give me a hug. “You deserve good things, big brother. And you deserve a woman who loves you. Someone smart and sweet and beautiful, who knows what a great guy you are.”
“If you say so.”
She grabbed my face, looking fierce. “You deserve Grace.” She smacked me upside the head. “So don’t do anything to screw it up!”