Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Taz
I’d been in the studio all week, laying down tracks with the producer everyone wanted to work with: Austin Keller.
He’d been challenging me on everything. Making me shout, growl, grunt, and throw things.
And he was loving every minute of my meltdowns, claiming that’s how epic music was made, by going into the darkness to get to the light.
I didn’t know what the hell that meant, but by the end of day five, I felt like I’d worked an eighty-hour week swinging a hammer and hanging drywall.
“Let me take you out for a beer,” Austin said, slapping me on the back. “You’ve earned it.”
“Yeah, sounds good. Just give me a minute to text my girl. I’m supposed to meet up with her later.” Since the dinner at my place, we’d seen each other every night, and that was over a week ago.
After she walked out on me that night, I laid awake, staring at the ceiling.
Re-playing every word we’d said to each other.
And I realized one thing, the only thing that mattered: I wanted her with me.
I didn’t care what the hell we called it.
If she wanted to put a label on it, we could.
But I knew I’d never craved someone like that before, and couldn’t let it end.
I held up my phone after reading the text she’d sent me while I was recording. “She says she’s going to Jimmy’s to grab a drink with a friend. You mind if we head over there for that beer, just in case they need a ride home?”
“Sure, Jimmy’s sounds good.”
“Cool, I’ll meet you there.”
Walking out to my truck, I took a minute to just breathe.
Soak in the day. I’d been in a recording studio.
Working with the most sought-after producer in Nashville.
Cutting an album for a top label. Sleeping with a woman who was way out of my league.
Preparing to go on the road with a country music superstar, who’d become a friend.
Life was crazy-good right now. But I didn’t want to jinx it by dwelling on it too long.
Just after I fired up the engine, Avery’s name flashed across the screen. “Hey, Avery. What’s up?”
“I am going to make your day, your week, your month, and your year. Which is saying a lot, because it’s already been pretty epic, right?”
“Uh, yeah.” My heart started racing, because there was only one thing that would edge out everything else. “Go ahead.”
“Are you sitting down?”
“I’m driving. Just spit it out already!”
She laughed. “Quinn said she’d take your call.”
“What?” I could feel the thrum of my heartbeat in my ears as I white-knuckled the steering wheel. “Seriously? When?”
“She said you can call her now, if you’re not busy.”
“Jesus.” Jimmy’s was only a few minutes away from the studio, so I could fire off a text to Austin when I stopped and let him know I was running late. “I’m just on my way to Jimmy’s to have a drink with Austin, but yeah, of course I’ll call her now.” I’d call her any damn time she wanted me to.
“Good. You obviously have her number, since you’ve tried texting her before.”
“Yeah, I’ve got it.” I just didn’t think she’d ever give me permission to call her.
“Why did she decide to let me—” I cut myself off, realizing the why, when or how didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I was finally getting a chance to talk to my daughter. “Thank you for doing this for me, Avery. It means… everything.”
“My pleasure. We’ve been working together a lot since you signed with the label, and I can already tell you’re one of the good guys, Taz. Your past doesn’t matter. And you don’t have to let it define you anymore. Just remember that, okay?”
“Now you sound like Grace.”
“Ah yes, I heard you were dating Codie’s sister.” Avery was also Mav’s publicist, so she knew Codie well. “Lucky guy.”
“I know, right? Still don’t know what the hell she’s doing with me, but—” I heard Grace’s voice in my head telling me to shut it. And she was right. If I didn’t want to lose her, I had to start believing I deserved her.
“But what?” Avery asked.
“Nothing, doesn’t matter.”
“Okay, I know you’re heading to Jimmy’s after you talk to Quinn, but will you text me first, to let me know how it went?”
“Of course, you’re the reason this is happening at all.”
“Thanks, and good luck, Taz. I just know when Quinn gets to know you, she’s going to love you.”
I wasn’t so sure about that, but I appreciated the sentiment. “Thanks.”
I disconnected the call and pulled into Jimmy’s parking lot. I fired off a text to Austin to let him know I had a call to make, but would meet him inside soon, before I finally hit the one name in my contacts that always made my stomach lurch.
I let it ring a few times, convinced she’d changed her mind. But before I could hang up, a soft voice said, “Hi.”
“Hey, Quinn. It’s—”
“I know. Taz.”
“Yeah, thanks for taking my call.”
I could hear the edge in her voice when she said, “Your publicist is pretty persuasive.”
“Don’t I know it. I guess that’s what makes her so good at her job. But if you felt pressured to talk to me—”
“I didn’t.”
“Okay, cool.” I’d been mentally rehearsing this conversation for years, but now that I was finally able to talk to her, only one word came to mind. “I’m sorry, Quinn. I’m so damn sorry.”
“Are you?”
I didn’t blame her for challenging me. She had every right to. “I am. By the time I found out your mama was pregnant with you—”
“You were already locked up. I know the story.”
“Uh yeah, for twelve long years. And I thought about you every damn day, girl. I swear.”
“I heard your song. It’s pretty good.”
Clearly, she didn’t want to talk about the past, and I was more than willing to let her set the tone for the conversation.
I vowed to myself I wouldn’t cross her boundaries.
I just wanted to hear her voice. To let her know that I thought about her all the time and wished things could have been different.
“Thanks. We actually recorded those two today, the ones that went viral.”
She cleared her throat. “Was it about me? That song you wrote about your daughter?”
“Of course, it was about you. You’re the only kid I’ve got.”
“I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe you got some other woman knocked up and bailed.”
That barb landed right where she’d intended. In the middle of my chest. “I know you must hate me—”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Okay, how do you feel?” I probably should have asked Grace to coach me before having this conversation, so I wouldn’t screw it up. But it was too late for that now.
“I feel like you’re an asshole for leaving my mama to take care of me all on her own.”
“I think I’m an asshole too, if it makes you feel any better. But I couldn’t do much to help y’all while I was in prison. When I got out, I got a job—”
“And finally started paying child support. I know, but do you think that gives you a pass for all the years there wasn’t enough food to eat?”
My gut clenched when I thought of my baby girl going hungry, while I rotted away in a prison cell because I was too stupid and selfish to be a real man. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. I know words don’t make it better, but that’s all I’ve got.”
“Sounds like you’ll have a lot more than that soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“According to the Internet, you’re the next big thing in country music.”
I didn’t want to believe that was the only reason she’d agreed to talk to me, but I wouldn’t blame her if it were. “I don’t know about that. I guess we just have to wait and see how it all plays out.”
“But if you do make it big, you’ll finally do right by me?”
“Uh sure, but—”
“Because I need wheels and I’ll be going to college in a couple of years. I don’t want to get stuck with student loans.”
“No, of course not. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”
“It says online you’re single. Is that true?”
“Yeah, never been married.”
“That’s good, I guess. Your wife might have a problem with you trying to have a relationship with your bastard kid, huh?”
There was so much resentment and hatred in her voice, and I knew that I’d caused it. And I deserved it. “Please don’t call yourself that.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“Quinn—”
“Look, I’ve gotta go. I’m meeting up with some friends and they’re gonna be here to pick me up any minute.”
“Okay, can I call you again sometime?”
“Maybe, but text first to make sure I can talk.”
“I will.” I hesitated before adding, “I know this won’t be easy, but—”
“Hey, don’t expect too much, okay?”
Before I could respond, she hung up. I stared at the screen, trying to process the throat punch I’d just received. I expected her to hate me. I knew she’d probably blame me for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life, but hearing the venom in her voice only made me hate myself more.
I stared up at the iconic brick building that had been a landmark in my hometown for as long as I could remember, considering whether I should cancel on Austin. But I needed a beer… and to see Grace’s face.
I slammed the driver’s door harder than necessary, as I stalked toward the bar. Instead of being Grace’s designated driver tonight, I may need her to be mine. Getting shit-faced sounded like a hell of a plan right about now.
I spotted Grace right away, in a corner booth in the back. Her best friend was sitting across from her, but they weren’t alone. That bastard I’d seen in her social media pics was with them. Brandon. And he’d picked the wrong night to cross my path.
I held up a finger when I spotted Austin, letting him know I’d be right over.
As soon as Grace spotted me, her face drained of color.
I hadn’t texted to let her know I planned to meet her at Jimmy’s.
I thought I’d surprise her. But she’d surprised me instead, by cozying up the sonofabitch whose number she claimed she’d blocked.
She’d been in my bed every night for the past week, but she was still screwing around with this asshole behind my back? So much for shooting straight.
“Taz,” she said, jumping out of the booth before I reached it. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to have a drink with Austin.” I side-stepped her, giving her ex a fierce look. “Better question, what the hell is he doing here, with you?”
“He’s not with me,” she said, shooting a pleading look at her best friend as she planted her hands on my chest. “Brandon and Kaitlyn’s families have been friends forever. They were just catching up and I didn’t want to be rude—”
“Who the hell is this?” Brandon asked Kaitlyn, hooking a thumb in my direction.
After the conversation I’d just had with Quinn, I could have torn this little puke apart with my bare hands without a second thought.
Grace turned to face her ex, planting her body in front of mine. It wasn’t a very effective barricade, since she was half my size.
“Brandon, this is um, my friend, Taz.”
“Try. Again.,” I growled in her ear.
She splayed her arms out in front of her. “He’s— we’re— we’ve been—” She looked so desperate it made Kaitlyn cringe.
“Let me help you,” I said, pointing at him. “He’s my boyfriend. We’re sleeping together. We’ve been spending every goddamn night together. Is that clear enough for you, asshole?”
Grace turned into my arms. “Please,” she whispered. “Don’t do this. Think of your career. Someone is going to record this and post it online.”
“You think I give a shit about that?”
She grabbed my hand. “Come outside with me. You need to cool off.”
I knew she was right, so I didn’t fight her. I owed it to Luc and my label to get my shit together and quit acting like I had nothing to lose.
As soon as we were outside, I laced my hands behind my neck and started walking in circles. I was losing my mind. First my daughter goes off on me, then the only woman I’d ever really let myself care about, gives me reason to question everything I thought we were building.
“Taz,” she said gently, resting her hand on my back. “You need to calm down and let me explain.”
“You told me you blocked his number!” I stabbed a finger in the direction of the bar. “You said you wanted nothing to do with him!”
“Sssh.” She faked a smile for a group of people who pulled up to the curb in an Uber and hopped out before casting a curious look in our direction and rushing inside.
“You have to calm down and listen to me. What the hell has got you so worked up? And don’t tell me it’s just seeing me with Brandon. You wouldn’t—”
“You really want to know?” I narrowed my eyes, curling my hands into fists at my sides. “I just talked to my daughter.”
She gasped. “You did?”
“Yeah, and just like I suspected, she hates my guts.” I flattened my palm against my chest. “I hate my guts. But I thought if I saw you, if I could talk to you about it, maybe I wouldn’t feel like the biggest asshole on the planet for abandoning my daughter,”
“Baby, you didn’t abandon her. You didn’t have a choice.”
She tried to reach out to me, but I stepped back, out of her reach. “Don’t even try. I got to get the hell out of here before I say or do something we’ll both regret.”