Chapter 28
DAVID
“I’d like to see you in my office, David. As soon as possible.”
“Okay, Carlton. I’ll be there in two minutes.”
Carlton Jay was the president/owner/founder of our company, and, more impressively, a man whose first name sounded like a last name and whose last name was very much a first name. I almost called him Jay several times in the first few months of my employment.
Carlton had liked me from the beginning, and I’d advanced surprisingly quickly for a man so young. I wasn’t in line for a raise or another promotion, so I wasn’t sure why it was so crucial for me to see him.
As soon as possible.
Had I read it all wrong? Was I walking into an ambush? Was this my last day on the job? He had been looking at me oddly lately, but I never feared the worst.
I couldn’t think of any reason I might be fired. I’d been an exemplary employee, and that’s not me blowing my own horn. That’s the truth.
Still, I had a slight pit in my stomach as I headed down the hall toward Carlton Jay’s office. Anyone would.
His secretary was a young man named Ethan.
Carlton had previously had a gorgeous young secretary named Melody, but she’d been sacked a few months back.
I don’t know the reason why, but you could definitely tell that Carlton didn’t have time to vet Ethan thoroughly.
The guy was a few screws short of a hardwood store.
“Hey, David,” he said. “They are waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Ethan. I’m not walking into an ambush, am I? Like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas?”
“Joe Pepsi?”
“No, Joe Pesci.”
“Huh? I’m more of a Coca-Cola guy anyway.”
Okay, many, many screws short.
“I’m going to head in,” I said.
For such a well-run company, Ethan had been a curious hire, and I doubted he’d last the month.
But would I?
I opened the door, and Carlton Jay was sitting next to our vice president, Aaron Gross. I was a vice president, but Aaron Gross was the vice president.
I didn’t like seeing them sitting there together. My mind was starting to get the best of me, and I was now seriously worried I might be getting the axe.
“Why don’t you have a seat, David?” Aaron said.
What would his name be if he reversed names? Gross Aaron.
My mind was going a million miles an hour, and I told myself to calm down.
I took a seat and waited for them to ease my mind.
“You’ve been doing some decent work since you got here, David,” Carlton said.
Decent! I’d been kicking ass!
My heart sank. My worst nightmare was coming true.
“I thought I was doing a little better than decent,” I said.
“No, I think decent is a good word to describe your time with us. If I’m feeling generous.”
Fuck! I wanted to scream.
I tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t get it all in. I felt like I was about to hyperventilate. Would it be weird to ask your boss for a paper bag?
As my eyes moved from Carlton to Aaron, I saw something pass between the two of them—a slight smirk.
Was this all some misguided prank?
“Please tell me this is a joke,” I said.
The next three seconds were the longest of my life.
It ended when they both started laughing uncontrollably.
“It was his idea,” Aaron said.
Carlton Jay was still laughing, but managed to get out, “Guilty as charged.”
“What the fuck? So I’m not getting fired?”
Carlton took a few seconds to get himself together. “No, you’re not getting fired, David. Quite the opposite. Why don’t you tell him the good news, Aaron.”
“I’ve decided to retire, David. Sure, I’m only sixty, but I’ve got all the money I’m ever going to need. The last of my children is out of the house, and I promised my wife we’d travel the world in our later years.”
“Sixty is hardly your later years,” I said.
“You don’t have to be a kiss ass, David. You’re not getting fired.”
I laughed and finally relaxed. “Fair enough, but I’m serious. You’re still a young man.”
“Well, thank you. That’s nice, coming from a thirty-year-old.”
“Thirty-three, sir.”
Carlton looked me over, and I realized I was talking too much.
“Don’t you want to know what Aaron’s retirement has to do with you?” he asked.
And that’s when I knew why they’d invited me here. They were going to offer me Aaron Gross’s job.
It was a monumental promotion from a vice president to THE vice president. It may not sound like much, but it was massive.
I didn’t know Aaron was contemplating retirement, and even if I had, I never would have considered myself a candidate to replace him. I was thirty-three. That was a job reserved for someone in their fifties or sixties. At the very least, their forties.
Stop getting ahead of yourself! Carlton didn’t explicitly say they are offering you the job!
“Yes, I’d love to know,” I said.
“We’re going to offer you Aaron’s job.”
Boom!!!
“I’m beyond honored, Carlton, but aren’t I a little young?”
“Oh yeah, who did you think might get this job?”
“I don’t know, maybe Brock Prescott, Jay Faulconer, or Rico Jiménez.”
What was I doing?
“Do you want to mention some more names? Maybe I’ll become convinced one of them would actually do a better job than you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just overwhelmed. I’ll shut up now.”
They both smiled, and Carlton turned his attention toward Aaron.
“First, he tries to talk you out of retirement, and then he tries to give his job to someone else. Maybe we’re trying to hire the wrong guy.”
“You’re hiring the right guy, Carlton,” I said. “I will work my ass off and try to improve on my decent job showing thus far.”
They loved my “decent” joke, and I’d gotten them back in my good graces.
“That’s what I’m looking for,” Carlton said. “It’s getting late, so why don’t we continue this on Monday. We’ll go over some specifics.”
“I appreciate this very much. I’ll try to live up to the standard that Aaron set.”
“You’re drifting into kiss ass territory again.”
I laughed. “I’m going to go now. I’ll come by the office on Monday morning, Carlton. Thank you very much, you two. You won’t regret it.”
They stood, and I exchanged handshakes with them.
As I walked back to my office, it all felt so surreal.
I was going to be the vice president of Jay Consulting at thirty-three years young.
Shit, Carlton Jay was in his late sixties.
What if he wanted to retire in the next few years?
Technically, I was going to be next in line.
Was I going to be running this company before I turned forty? Thirty-five?
This was too good to be true!
Ten minutes later, I was walking to my car.
I opened the front door, and only then realized that there was a letter on my windshield.
I retrieved it and opened it once I sat behind the wheel.
“April is cheating on you.”
Had anyone ever gone from a monstrous high to a disastrous low this quickly?
I didn’t react for several seconds.
I thought about screaming, because that’s what anyone would do in my situation. My wife might be cheating on me. This should have been a terrible moment.
But much to my surprise, a slight smile formed on my face. The more I thought about it, the bigger the smile got. Twenty seconds later, it was a full-fledged Joker-like smile.
I remembered the clause we had in our prenup. April would get nothing if she cheated on me. And if I were being honest, the last year of our marriage hadn’t been great. She’d not been the woman I’d married. Well, I at least hadn’t realized it at the time.
“You made the biggest mistake of your life, April Leach,” I said, intentionally using her maiden name.
“You could have had the chance to be married to the vice president of Jay Consulting, but now you’re going to get fucking nothing.
This is a glorious day. You know what, the timing couldn’t be better. Time to start anew.”
I couldn’t believe I’d never thought of this before, but Leach was the perfect last name for April. It’s what she’d been from the beginning.
And yes, I know the blood-sucking animal is spelled with two E’s.