Thirty-One
ADAK
These. Damn. Leggings.
Keeping my hands to myself is going to be a nightmare. The way his ass is just perfectly shaped, on display for the world to ogle at is maddening. I swear, even straight guys are looking at Oren’s ass as we move through the airport.
The only thing keeping me in line is his nervousness. In one hand, he has the handle to his suitcase and his bubble ball hanging from his fingers, while I grip his other hand firmly. Making sure everyone looking at him knows that this man is mine!
We have business class seats, so we have boarding priority. I lift his suitcase into the overhead compartment and then gesture for him to take the seat next to the window and I take the aisle, so he can look out and watch the Rockies below us.
“I might be sick,” he warns, gripping my hand in a vise.
“Everything is perfectly safe. I promise. I fly close to fifty times a year.”
Oren gives me a brave smile, but his color is ashen. I’m glad our first flight is relatively short. L.A. to Denver isn’t too far.
He listens raptly and watches intently as the flight attendant talks through the safety instructions. He locates his raft and stares at the compartment above our heads, trying to determine where the oxygen masks fall from.
When she’s done and checks our belts, I wrap my arm around Oren and get as close as I can while still being securely fastened in our seats.
He’s shaking like a leaf as the plane takes off. Every wobble and shake has him jumping out of his skin. When we’re finally sailing somewhat smoothly, Oren is trying hard not to hyperventilate.
“Everything is perfectly fine,” I assure him.
He looks at me and tries to smile. “I’m not sure I’m going to be the best flying companion, Adak.”
I kiss his nose and bring his head to my shoulder. “How about we talk?”
Oren takes a deep breath. “Okay.”
“I know you’ve been looking at Rainbow Dorset. Have you found a curriculum that’s interesting?”
“Lots,” he says, his eyes flickering to the window and quickly away. “But… I’m not sure I want to work in an office all the time. It sounds too much like a prescribed life, a prison. Far too similar to the situation I left.”
Huh. I’d never thought of it that way.
“If you could do anything at all, what would you choose?” I ask.
Oren swallows. For a minute, he concentrates on his breathing. “Games, I think. I love modding for Second World and I’m sure there’s tons of other things I could do if I knew how.”
“Video games, huh?”
“Yeah, but not on a console. I don’t think I’d like first-person shooters or racing. I like the epic fantasy adventures that are MMORPGs.”
“Rainbow Dorset doesn’t have a program for that?”
He shrugs. “I’m not even sure what kind of program I’d look for since I’m not sure what kind of job I’m interested in. The only thing that’s ever given me any kind of semblance of control in my life has been my job. It’s been my source of peace and escape. I’ve met some really great people too.”
“And maybe saved a life or two by identifying a predator,” I remind him.
His smile isn’t quite as strained when he flashes it at me.
“Sure, I guess. I don’t know.” He pauses.
Before I can ask something else, he says, “I kind of really like Kendrick’s new project too.
I keep thinking, if there’d been something like that ten years ago, might I have been able to escape sooner?
There’s a part of me that really wants to be a part of making that difference. ”
I squeeze him as best I can in the position we’re sitting in. “That’s really big of you.”
Oren shakes his head. “No. Maybe it’s kind of selfish.”
“How in the world are you going to turn something where you want to improve other people’s lives into something selfish?” I ask.
He laughs quietly. “I guess I don’t know. It kind of feels selfish.”
“It’s not at all selfish to want to help people, Oren. Sometimes I think, if I’d have just looked up into the crowd years ago, maybe I’d have seen you sooner. I’ve been in Anaheim for four years. If I’d have just seen you four years ago, maybe I could have helped to get you out of there sooner.”
Oren sighs. “I’m not sure I’d have been brave enough to jump out my window and run four years ago. That’s far too close to when he’d forced me back after running away to Huntley’s house. I felt too… hopeless then.”
“I get that,” I say, kissing the top of his head. “As much as I hope that I could have been a positive change in your life years ago, maybe neither of us were ready then. Even if that meant you had four years longer to suffer.”
Oren looks up at me, and I’m thankful that I’ve mostly distracted him. Though, the rhythmic popopop of his stress ball says he hasn’t completely forgotten where we are.
“How about this—new question. Do you see yourself married one day?”
His smile widens and a wicked glint flashes in his eyes. It’s a look I haven’t seen before, but fuck do I love it.
“That depends,” he says. “Will you ask me to marry you one day?”
I cup the side of his face and press my mouth to his. “Yes,” I tell him with no uncertainty.
“Tell me how,” he whispers.
My mind goes completely blank with that request. I snort. “I don’t know how, but how about I share with you what I see for our future together instead?”
Oren nods.
“We’ll get married somewhere bright. Somewhere with a breeze and a breathtaking view.
On a cliff somewhere, maybe. I’ll wear a suit and…
you’ll wear something that’s not quite a suit.
Something that you’ll feel stunning in. Comfortable.
We’ll be surrounded by a lot of people—my family, the team, your friends.
Everyone will be happy and laughing and taking pictures of my stunning husband. ”
“You’re supposed to be imagining me,” he teases but I can see how his eyes glisten.
“Believe me, Oren. I’ve only ever been imagining you. It’s just recently that you’ve had a face and a name.” He rolls his eyes but snuggles against me closer. “We’ll go on a honeymoon. Two months at least. Maybe three.”
“Three?!” he says, eyes wide with wonder and thinking I’ve lost my mind.
I laugh quietly. “Yes. I’m going to show you the world, baby. And then we’ll come home to a place all our own. Just you and me. Somewhere happy where you’ll get to watch airplanes or maybe boats. Birds? I don’t know, something that brings you peace. Somewhere it’s all us.”
He sighs. “That’s beautiful,” he says. “I really want all that.”
“Do you want kids?”
“You’re asking heavy questions today,” he says, tucking his face back into my shoulder.
He’s quiet for a minute before shrugging.
“I don’t know. There’s a part of me that doesn’t.
I just want to live for me. I want… I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like having the responsibility of another life will take away from that. ”
I nod.
“Do you?” he asks.
“Maybe one,” I tell him.
He sighs. “Okay, but I’m not carrying it.”
I snort. He turns a grin against my arm and peeks up at me. “I don’t hate the idea of a kid. Just so you know. I’m not sure I’m ever going to be begging for one, but… I would try really hard to be a good father. I would love our baby.”
Suddenly, I want this little family that we haven’t truly said we’ll have more than anything. I can see it all. Everything. Just the three of us. Oren’s smile. How he spoils our boy. Or girl, I’m not picky. The love that we’ll create and protect. A family that he never got to experience.
We talk about this hypothetical family for the rest of the flight, and I think he’s warming up to the idea.
The conversation dies down as we land and deplane.
I think he’s still imagining it like I am as we make our way to the car rental place to pick up our vehicle.
I keep him close, wrapping my arm around his and not letting him go.
There are far too many people staring at his fine ass for my liking.
And yet, I also enjoy glancing down at those perfectly round globes highlighted like glorious mounds by these sinful leggings!
He needs more pairs.
I get him in the car and as we’re driving away from the airport to the chalet, I think about how to get him exactly what he needs. Not the leggings. That’s an easy find. But the peace he deserves.
The answer is both clear and difficult. We need to get away from his brothers. Leave Anaheim.
His hand is still in mine as we drive. When we get to the switchbacks, I’ll have to use both hands but right now, I’m going to keep his hand in mine.
“Oren? What do you think about moving?”
“You don’t like your house?”
“Mmm. You know I received an offer from the Carolina Blue Hawks. Yeah?”
“Oh,” he says, nodding. “I’ll come with you?”
The uncertainty in his voice hurts. I know it’s nothing I’ve caused, but I can still feel it sharply all the same.
“I’m never going to live without you, Oren.
Yes. But this is no longer a decision that I’ll make on my own.
We’re a partnership now. Equals. Some decisions are no longer made by us as individuals, since they’ll affect us both. ”
He releases a breath. “Was it a good offer?”
“It was an amazing offer,” I admit.
Oren nods. His ball continues to popopop as he starts to bite his lip.
“Let’s start like this. What are the cons of moving to the East Coast?
I’ll begin with the biggest one for me—leaving the Bobcats.
I don’t truly care that we’ve had a rough season.
Well, I mean, I care. But not in a way that makes me want to leave them for a ‘winning team.’ I don’t want to give up on them and I don’t want them to think I am. ”
“That’s a good reason,” he agrees. “My biggest one would be my friends. They’ve been my lifeline. But… I know we’ll still talk all the time.”
I nod.
“We won’t know anyone,” he says. “I like your neighbors now, but maybe we’ll be sandwiched between assholes.”
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” I assure him.
Oren hums. We continue to throw out cons until we’re out of them.
“Now the pros,” I say. “You can do your job anywhere so you will always have that sense of normalcy.”
He smiles as I take my hand from his so I can maneuver the car up the mountain. “It’s a brand new place. I’ve never lived anywhere but the house I grew up in. Until now, I’ve never even left California.”
“It’s a new house that we get to pick out together. A brand new start for both of us.”
“I kind of love that,” Oren says, a grin stretching across his face. He’s watching the trees as we talk, taking in our surroundings, which are so very different from what he’s used to.
“It’s as far away from my brothers as I can get and still live in the same country,” he says quietly. “I’ll finally be completely free of them.”
It’s difficult not to reach for him, but switchbacks are dangerous even on days like today when they’re not covered in snow.
Our pros end with Oren’s last. I’m not sure there’s one that can top that one. It’s my true driving force. If we choose to move, I have a feeling it’ll be to get Oren away from this toxic situation more than anything else.
The way the driveway slopes into the side of the house, you don’t get a good view of the outside.
Honestly, the best view of the chalet is from the air with a drone or something.
But the view from inside looking out is stunning.
The entire side of the house facing down the mountain is nearly solid glass.
Every single room has nothing but the best views money can buy.
We climb out and as soon as I have our bags out of the trunk, I jerk Oren into my chest and drop my hands to his ass, hiking him against me. “You’re trying to drive me mad wearing these, aren’t you?” I ask, staring into his eyes. His cheeks flush.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d like them,” he says, a moment of self-consciousness peeking in.
“Oren, I don’t care if you’re wearing a shark sleeping bag. You’re absolutely breathtaking. But you know what’s the most appealing?”
He shakes his head, taking his bottom lip into his mouth.
“It’s not your cute, sexy clothes—which, by the way, I love —but the confidence you radiate when wearing them. It’s the single hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
His eyes shine with moisture. “Do you love me?” he whispers.
I rest my forehead on his. “I’ve loved you my entire life.”
Oren sighs. “I love you too.”
“Thank fuck.”
He laughs.
“Let’s go in. I’m going to show you how much I love you.”
His answering smile takes my breath away.