Chapter 53 #3
She bit her lip and turned her head away, as if ashamed to answer. But someone like her wouldn’t be ashamed to have experience. She wouldn’t see value in oppressive purity. There was nothing wrong with having claimed her pleasure with another person in the past.
Which answered that question very clearly.
Of course she was a virgin. She was so terrified of relationships that she drafted herself into a death sentence at a war academy to avoid the possibility of an arranged marriage.
It was a ridiculous question, but I had to make sure.
As much as I wanted her, I wasn’t going to introduce her to all eight rungs of Jacob’s ladder, right here, right now, after she was still recovering from blacking out in battle.
She was shaking as she tipped her chin in final confirmation.
“I was afraid that if I was ever with someone, I might end up…” Fianna swallowed down her own deepest fears, and I more than understood.
Fuck, I too completely understood. “So I never…” She chewed her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. “I’m sorry.”
With a shake of my head, I wrapped a hand around her jaw, and lifted her chin, taking her mouth in another bid to comfort her, while satiating this maddening need to taste her.
“You don’t have to apologize. I’m only asking because I want this to feel good for you.
” I lowered that grip to her neck, and I lingered there for a moment.
“As much as I’d love to break you on my cock right now, it’ll be better if we work you up to that first. You’ve had enough pain today.
” I kissed her again, sharing the soft shake of amusement between us, then I dropped down to my knees, turned her to face me again, then braced her hips against the glass.
Fianna squirmed, so I held her forcefully in place.
She stared down at me with a look of innocence and confusion, so I kept our eye contact locked in as I pressed my lips to her pussy and slipped my tongue between her folds.
I circled her clit, then rubbed just above it, pressing my venom piercing into her soft, and sensitive center, wanting to give her that hint of pleasure without immediately hitting her with too much.
I started working my tongue in a steady motion, slow and gentle to start, just wanting to see how she’d react, and which motion and position she best responded to.
Her hands were threaded through my hair and pulling hard, while those once wide eyes had dropped to half lidded, and her breathing was growing harsher and more tense.
“I’m going to need you to hold on tight, sweetheart.” I gave her a devilish smirk, before I fully committed to making her scream.
I grabbed her thigh, and placed it over my shoulder, pulling her wet pussy closer and more snuggly against my lips, and I sucked on her until she was whimpering.
I alternated between playing her with the studded tip of my tongue and sending her to all 274 of Saturn’s moons with well-timed suction, listening to the music of her moans to identify her favorite spots.
“I-it’s too much.” She was a mess as she tugged on my hair, and her flushed cheeks and shaking legs, paired with the way she was practically grinding against my mouth, was telling a story that contradicted her words. “Fuck Elio, it’s so much.”
“Just a little more. I know you can handle it,” I teased, before I slowly licked up the full length of her center.
“Now be a good girl and relax.” I smeared her own arousal up her inner thigh, then slipped a finger inside her very well lubricated core.
I hooked my finger just enough to rub a careful pattern on her inner walls, then I increased the pressure, the suction, and the speed of my tongue while I subsequently toyed with her sensitive clit.
She was buckling on me, out of breath, and she was so fucking sexy.
I added another finger, I kept those little nudges steady and purposeful, and I reveled in her sharp gasp, as I felt that convulsing squeeze of her orgasm clamping down on my fingers when her body gave in to me.
She held onto me for dear life as she rode out that full body high, and fuck if that wasn’t enough to nearly make me come myself.
She fell back limply against the glass window with a gasp, and I slid my fingers out of her with no sense of urgency.
I stood, and I held her up, so she could watch as I sucked her arousal from my fingers, before I sealed her pleasure between us with one more kiss.
She sucked on my tongue, like she needed to know how I’d made her feel, and I was more than happy to indulge in the way we tasted together.
When we at last broke that kiss, we were both panting, both holding onto the other as if we’d disappear if we let go, and Fianna buried her face in my shoulder. I lifted her back up, then carried her back to the chair to sit and recover.
She stared at me, her eyes glazed over, her cheeks pink, her lips red and swollen from every bruising connection, and an absolute masterpiece of sated beauty.
“What about you?” She pleaded, as I repositioned her on my lap, and wrapped Seba’s jacket around her naked, sweat and come slickened body.
If I was being honest, I was at such an intense point of pain and need, that my eyes were damn near watering, but if I was being more honest still, it wasn’t the first time my body reacted that way to her, and I could grin and bear it.
I didn’t want the first time she ever had someone inside her to be under these circumstances, and I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t hurt her.
I wanted to take my time and work her body up to it.
This wouldn’t be our only chance. I wouldn’t let it be.
“You still owe me a favor, remember? I’m sure I’ll find another time to cash in.” I rubbed her back, as she laughed against me. Her joy might have been the only thing as satisfying as her pleasure.
“I guess you can say I owe you one more.” She closed her eyes, and I buried my face in her hair.
“I’ll hold you to that, Mishka.”
“I want you to.”
I held her as she drifted off again. I’d wake her up when it was time to go, but for now, rest was what she needed. It was what I needed, too.
I sank into quiet thought, and indulged in that warm comfort of her again, letting my exhaustion tug me under.
What the hell was I doing?
The intrusive realization started knocking on my mind.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I chose to have sex.
The entire concept of intimacy had been so far tainted for me, and yet the moment I got that first taste of her, she was the only thing in this world I wanted, like I needed to consume her to get closer, until we were one in the same.
That was… a good thing, right?
Was someone like me allowed to want someone like her? Would this ruin everything both of us had been striving for? Was I too broken to be good for her?
She thought she was such a burden, but after that battle, I was starting to wonder if I was the one who couldn’t handle war, comparatively.
Because I’d lost it when I saw that tank aiming for her, and my heart had seized in my chest when Seba had reported that her Shinka had been destroyed, and I thought she was really gone.
I needed to get my head on right.
She was a soldier, too. She didn’t want me to protect her.
Why couldn’t I turn that off?
When did that all change?
Why was I the last one to notice?
And what the fuck was I supposed to do now?
She’d had months to get used to playing her part, while I’d had days to try and come to terms with it all, and I wasn’t coping well.
It really shouldn’t matter. Man or woman, legal or a stowaway, she was my comrade, my team mate, my fellow soldier, and the only one putting weight on our differences was me. If she could hold her own in a fight, then she didn’t need or want me to interfere.
It just came as such a shock that we’d be side by side in battle so soon. I was moving on instinct, and thank the stars I had.
I’d survived a lot in the last twenty-four years, but losing her, Seba, Breaker—that may have been my limit.
I was still just as green as everyone else in a live, real war, and it showed in every dip and surge of my synchronization.
I knew I could act when I needed to act, but it was only by clinging to my training that I had any sort of strategy here.
I didn’t know how to process a single thing that had happened in these last five or six hours, and that was the most terrifyingly out of control I’d felt in a long time.
And yet…
“No nightmares tonight, Mishka,” I said softly, wanting her last thoughts as she fell asleep to be ones of tranquility.
To know I was here with her, and I wouldn’t be leaving.
There would be plenty of time for nightmares when we got back.