Chapter 54
As soon as our transport was unloaded, Lamassu, Vetala, and Kishi were all taken to the hangar for repairs, and we were directed to an underground bunker, built in the base of Saturn’s dome beneath Astaroth Academy.
Despite our new found battle experience, even third years were still technically pilots in training, so we wouldn’t be pulled into a real battle unless all other resources had been exhausted. We were, at most, a very desperate last resort, rather than the first line of defense.
But what I hadn’t anticipated, as we entered the bunker, was that I’d be facing a challenge far beyond anything I’d had to hide from before, as we were directed to the medical wing.
I froze at the door as the guy who wasn’t a bomb stepped in for an examination, and the rest of us had to wait outside.
The medical wing was packed with our classmates who had been more successful in their retreats, and my only hope was that the nurse would be too overwhelmed to give me a thorough once over.
I tapped my foot nervously in the hall, as Sebastian was called in next. The nurse held out a bin as he approached.
“Please deactivate any Appearance Alteration Modules and deposit your CHRONO into the tray,” she said. “It’s important that the doctor is able to see all injuries or imperfections in the examination.”
That was standard procedure, and I was well aware of that fact.
Too many people had hidden lumps, bruises, and other blemishes over the years from their doctors, and too many people had died because they weren’t treated for what would have been easily detectable diseases, either out of a patient’s embarrassment or due to making casual aesthetic corrections that hid the warning signs.
And while I very much understood that and would happily cooperate in any other case, this was not going to work.
“We shouldn’t be wasting the nurse’s time when we’re all clearly okay,” I muttered under my breath, easily heard by the men sitting on either side of me in the hallway.
“Afraid of doctors, Pipsqueak?” Breaker mused from my left. “I would think as a medic, you’d love hospitals.”
“No one loves hospitals.” I grumbled.
Elio, who was sitting on the right, knitted his brow but said nothing.
We were both really good at saying a lot of nothing to each other right now, as this tension swirled between us.
We hadn’t had a moment’s respite to talk about what happened in that waiting room.
We still hadn’t even talked about him finding out I was a girl in the first place, or anything important or helpful or well-adjusted at all, for that matter.
I often thought he was perfect except for his severely deficient social skills, but now I knew I was a pot mocking a kettle.
Well, actually, I lacked social skills, but I didn’t have the being perfect part, so maybe more like a deformed black rock mocking an equally black kettle full of a really tasty stew.
Right, well. What a fucking day, you know?
But as it stood, Elio almost looked as stressed as I was. If there was a time that I would have liked his protective instincts to flare up, now would be a good one, because I was about to be so fucked.
“It’s just a check-up. They’ll probably just shine a flashlight in your eyes, maybe put a stethoscope on your back, then send you on your way. It’s fine.” Breaker continued to be dismissive.
Sebastian returned shortly. He was still reattaching his CHRONO to his wrist, when Elio was called.
The nurse held that bin in front of her, waiting for him to deposit his device.
I watched with pins prickling over my skin as his A2 deactivated as soon as he removed his CHRONO, and a glimpse of his tattoos became visible on the backs of his hands.
I squeezed the arm rest of my chair until my knuckles were white. I had all of ten minutes before I’d be up, and everyone would watch as I shifted from a scrawny man of very modest height, to an average sized and actually pretty nicely built woman.
I was only disappointing as one gender, in my opinion, and that was important to note.
Breaker tapped a finger on his arm rest with an energy akin to my still bouncing leg.
He had nothing at all to be nervous about, but maybe he also didn’t like hospitals.
There was rarely a positive reason to be in a place like this, especially on a military base, so I couldn’t blame him.
We all had our share of trauma from the last war.
We all had trauma in general, really. Life hated us all in its own special way.
It wouldn’t have been surprising if he’d lost a loved one or two in the past, and now hospitals gave him anxiety. He was the one who kept illegal pain killers on hand, so he probably avoided nurses, too.
I was assuming a lot based on absolutely nothing, but that was the best way I could think to keep my mind off the impending end of the world that waited for me in an electronics discard bin.
Of everything that had happened up until now, this was going to be the dumbest and most anticlimactic way to be exposed for my lies.
Just survived months of physical training and hand-to-hand sparring, carved out a reputation in a world of men, fought an epic battle and almost died, but it all fell apart because the doctor wanted to make sure I was as alive as I looked.
Sebastian lingered, despite being done with his appointment, and he took a seat back at his waiting chair. He placed his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, looking contemplative, before he started, “Vann, can we talk—”
“Oh, shit.” Breaker cut him off. I looked over, as he was lost in the screen of his CHRONO. The turquoise message app glowed over the golden tan of his knuckles.
Sebastian covered the lower half of his face with his hand, and glanced away.
“Oh shit, what?” I asked obligatorily, not sure what either one of them had wanted to say.
“I need to go assist the mechanics at the repair bay. They came across some mods they weren’t prepared for and need a quick walkthrough.” He stood up, then started toward the exit.
“Shouldn’t you stay and get your medical clearance first?” I raised a brow. I was hoping he would go next, actually, so I might get ten more minutes to enjoy being a man with secrets.
“I’m fine. I’ll come back after I’m done.
The medical clearance is only really important to get back to training and have my pilot allowances reinstated, and I’m not worried about having to do either within the next hour or three.
” He waved a hand dismissively, and no fucking way was he getting out of this when I wasn’t.
“You should probably take Vann in case you need help,” Sebastian said, unexpectedly encouraging me to break the rules for once.
That was… odd.
But I sure as fuck wasn’t going to argue.
“Why don’t you both come?” He asked like he was reading my mind. “No reason to wait around here.”
Sebastian shook his head. “I’ll stay back so I can let the nurse know where you went. We can talk later.” He put his head down, and I didn’t know what was wrong, but I also didn’t have the luxury of staying to find out.
“Well, later then.” I got up and waved, before I flitted after Breaker, thankful for the reprieve.
While neither of them knew why I was afraid of a check-up, I appreciated that they recognized it well enough to offer me an out.
We could all learn a thing or ten about emotional intelligence from the two of them.
I never would have thought I’d say that about Sebastian, but I was feeling extra thankful lately.
I followed along at a brisk pace, always struggling to keep up with the long legs of tall people, and we headed toward the emergency exit lift.
“This way is faster,” Breaker said, like he could sense the ‘why aren’t we taking the main exit?
’ that I was about to ask. Although we weren’t technically supposed to leave the security bunker until we were given an all clear, so it was probably a necessary precaution.
“I need to pick up some schematics from my dorm room first, and the emergency exit puts you right outside the hallway.” He held up his CHRONO to show me a 3 dimensional hologram of the bunker map, sure enough placing us directly under the dorms when exiting this way. I should have studied the campus more.
“Lead the way.” I didn’t complain, as we subtly slipped out of the bunker and into the dorms. I glanced at the time while we walked, then thought to send Elio a quick message, just so he didn’t wonder where we’d disappeared to.
It wasn’t more than a minute later that he responded with a short and to the point ‘understood.’
It was actually a relief not having to act around him anymore. At some point, we’d have a lot to address between us, but for now, we were living and letting live, and the tension between us had become a lot less violent.
I blushed at that, still staring at his name on my CHRONO, recalling too many tensions all at once. It was probably for the hundredth time that I mentally relived the feeling of his tongue on me. In me. Everywhere.
What was I thinking? It was like I had been pent up for a life time and every single minute we’d hated each other hadn’t been hate at all, and I still wasn’t allowed to have or want that.
It was for both of our sakes that we hadn’t gone any further, no matter how right it felt at the time.
I’d never wanted to be that close to anyone before, and I didn’t know how to reconcile with the fact that I wished we could have been even closer.
The comedy was is that he had accidentally become one of the safest people in my life, like a switch had flipped after he kicked me in the ribs. Like the night when he’d put his contact in here…
“I hope your sister is doing alright without you,” he’d said. “If you go back home and find out she needs saving, call me,” he’d qualified.