Chapter Forty-Four
Nano
My beer was warm.
I had been nursing the same bottle for over an hour, watching condensation drip down the glass and pool on the bar top.
The music pounded through the speakers. Some heavy metal shit that Garrote had picked, but I barely heard it.
The bass vibrated through my chest, a steady thump that matched the hollow ache that had taken up permanent residence there.
Three weeks.
Three weeks since Coco Beach. Three weeks since I watched her push me away and tell me what we had was nothing. Three weeks since I walked out of Maverick’s office knowing I had lost her all over again.
Around me, the clubhouse was alive with the kind of debauchery that used to feel like home.
Wanderer had a club whore bent over the pool table, fucking her hard enough that the balls scattered with each thrust. Cerberus was on the couch with two women, one riding his cock while the other sat on his face.
Vortex and Cobalt were tag-teaming another whore in the corner, her moans barely audible over the music.
I didn’t care.
Couldn’t care.
All I could see was her. The way she looked at me in that office. The way her body had responded, even as her mouth told me to leave. The way she cried after I walked away.
“It was just sex.”
Bullshit. It was everything. And she knew it. And I still left because she asked me to, because I was trying to be different, trying to be the man she needed instead of the monster I had always been, and it was killing me.
“You gonna drink that or just stare at it all night?” Carver’s voice cut through my thoughts.
I didn’t look at him. “Fuck off.”
“That’s what I thought.” He leaned against the bar beside me, his arms crossed. “You’ve been sitting here like a corpse for three weeks, brother. It’s getting old.”
“Then don’t look at me.”
“Hard not to when you’re broadcasting misery like a fucking beacon.” He paused. “She’s not coming back, Nano. You need to accept that and move on.”
Move on.
Like it was that simple. Like I could just forget her. Forget the way she felt in my arms. Forget the way she looked at me when she said my name. Forget the way she had broken me, just as thoroughly as I had broken her.
“I said fuck off, Carver.”
He sighed but didn’t push it. Smart man.
The music shifted to something heavier, and Morpheus’ voice cut through the noise from across the room. “Lollie, get your ass over here.”
I glanced up just enough to see Morpheus settling into his chair, his jeans already unbuttoned. Lollie dropped to her knees between his legs without hesitation, her mouth opening as she reached for his cock.
Business as usual.
This was the Brotherhood. This was what we did. We fucked, we drank, we lived without apologies or regrets. Except I had both. So many fucking regrets I couldn’t breathe under the weight of them. I lifted the beer to my lips and forced myself to swallow. It tasted like ashes.
The doors opened.
I didn’t look up. Didn’t care. Probably another club whore looking to earn her keep, or maybe one of the prospects returning from a run.
It didn’t matter. But then the music cut off.
Abruptly, mid-song. The sudden silence was so jarring that even the brothers mid-fuck paused, looking toward the entrance, and then I felt it.
The shift in the air. That electric charge that made every hair on my body stand on end.
No. I looked up and there she was.
Alex. Standing in the doorway like an avenging angel, her hair wild from the wind, her leather jacket dusty from the road. Her eyes swept the room, taking in the debauchery, the naked bodies, the brothers frozen mid-thrust, and then her gaze found mine.
Fuck me, and just like that, everything inside me roared to life. The numbness shattered, replaced by a tidal wave of need and rage and desperate, aching relief that nearly brought me to my knees. She was here. She came back.
“What the fuck?!” Morpheus’ voice cut through the silence like a whip.
I watched as he shoved Lollie off his cock, the woman stumbling backward with a startled yelp.
He stood, tucking himself back into his jeans with sharp, angry movements, his expression thunderous.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he demanded, stalking toward Alex with the kind of predatory intent that made lesser men piss themselves.
But Alex didn’t flinch. She stood her ground, her chin lifted, her shoulders squared. And something in my chest cracked at the sight of her defiance.
That’s my girl.
“I came to talk,” she said, her voice steady despite the tension radiating through the room.
“Talk?” Morpheus laughed, the sound harsh and mocking. “After you fucking leave my brother holding his dick, now you want to fucking talk?”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.” He stopped a few feet from her, his arms crossed. “You came here because you’re out of options. Because you’re scared and alone and you think we’ll just welcome you back with open arms.”
“I expect nothing from you,” Alex hissed. “I’m not here for you.”
Morpheus’ eyes narrowed. “Then who the fuck are you here for?”
She didn’t answer. But her gaze flicked to me for just a second, so brief I almost missed it before returning to Morpheus.
And that second was enough. Every brother in the room saw it. Felt it. Understood exactly why she was here.
For me.
I wanted to move. Wanted to stand up and walk over there and pull her into my arms and never let her go.
Wanted to tell Morpheus to back the fuck off, that she was mine, that no one got to talk to her like that, but I didn’t.
I stayed at the bar, my hands gripping the edge so tight that my knuckles turned white, my entire body locked in place because my brothers were watching me.
Cerberus had pulled the whore off his face and was sitting up, his eyes on me. Carver had shifted closer, his posture protective. Scythe was standing near the pool table, his arms crossed, his expression unreadable.
They were protecting me.
From her. From myself. From the inevitable destruction that would come if I let myself go to her, and I fucking hated it. Hated that they thought I needed protecting. Hated that they were probably right. Hated that I was sitting here like a coward while the woman I loved faced down Morpheus alone.
“You’ve got some balls showing up here,” Garrote said from the couch, his voice dripping with disdain. “After everything you pulled.”
“I’m aware,” Alex said.
“Are you?” Vortex laughed. “Because it seems like you’ve forgotten what happens to people who fuck with the Brotherhood.”
“I haven’t forgotten anything.”
“Then you’re either brave or stupid,” Cobalt said. “And I’m betting on stupid.”
Alex’s jaw tightened, but she didn’t rise to the bait. She just stood there, taking every insult, every dig, every nasty comment with the kind of quiet strength that made my chest ache.
God, I love her. The thought hit me like a freight train, stealing the breath from my lungs. I loved her. I would always love her, and watching her stand there, facing down an entire room of hostile bikers without flinching, only made me love her more.
“You gonna answer my question?” Morpheus demanded. “Or are you just gonna stand there looking pretty?”
“I came to talk to Nano,” Alex said finally, her voice cutting through the tension. “That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Morpheus’ laugh was cold. “You think you can just waltz in here and demand an audience with one of my brothers after the shit you pulled?”
“I’m not demanding anything. I’m asking.”
“Well, I’m not in the mood to grant favors.” Morpheus stepped closer, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl. “So, here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna turn around, walk out that door, and never come back. And if I see you again, I’ll put a bullet in your head myself.”
“No.”
The word was quiet. Firm. Absolute.
The room went deadly silent as Morpheus stared at her, his expression shifting from anger to something darker. Something lethal. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“I said no.” Alex’s voice didn’t waver. “I’m not leaving. Not until I talk to Nano.”
“You don’t get to make demands here, little girl.”
“I’m not making demands. I’m stating facts.” She paused, her gaze sweeping the room before landing back on Morpheus. “I know you want to kill me. I know I’ve caused problems for the Brotherhood. I know I don’t deserve to be here.”
“Damn right you don’t.”
“But I’m here, anyway.” Her voice softened, just slightly. “Because I need to tell him something. Something he deserves to know.”
Morpheus’ eyes narrowed. “And what’s that?”
Alex took a breath, and then she said the words that changed everything. “I’m pregnant.”
The silence was absolute. No one moved. No one breathed. The entire room seemed to freeze, every eye locked on Alex as the weight of her words settled over us like a shroud. Pregnant. The word echoed in my head, bouncing around my skull like a ricocheting bullet.
Pregnant. No, that’s not possible. She can’t be.
But even as denial roared through me, I knew.
The timeline fit. Weeks since I brought her to the clubhouse.
Weeks since Coco Beach. Weeks since I fucked her in my room, the gathering room, in Maverick’s office, desperate and reckless and too far gone to think about consequences.
Oh fuck. My hands were shaking. My entire body was shaking.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stare at her as the reality of what she had just said crashed over me in waves.
She was pregnant. With my child. The thought was so overwhelming, so impossibly huge, that I couldn’t process it.
Couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that there was a life growing inside her.
A life we created together in a moment of desperate, broken need.
A baby. My baby. And she had been carrying this burden alone.
Riding across the country alone. Hiding alone.
Terrified alone. Because of me. Because I let her push me away.
Because I walked out of that office instead of fighting for her.
Because I’d been too much of a coward to go after her when she ran.
Fuck. Rage and guilt and bone-deep terror twisted in my gut, a toxic cocktail that made me want to vomit. Or scream. Or put my fist through the nearest wall. But I didn’t do any of that. Instead, I just sat there, frozen, as Morpheus stared at Alex with an expression I couldn’t read.
“Pregnant,” he repeated slowly.
“Yes.”
“And it’s his?”
“Yes.”
Morpheus’ gaze flicked to me, and I saw the question there.
The demand for confirmation. The need to know if this was real or just another manipulation.
I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t force words past the lump in my throat, but I nodded once, and that was enough as Morpheus turned back to Alex, his jaw tight. “You sure about this?”
“I’m sure.”
“And you came here to tell him.”
“Yes.”
“Why now?”
Alex’s expression flickered, just for a second, and I saw the pain there. The fear. The exhaustion. “Because I was scared,” she admitted quietly. “Because I didn’t know if he would want this. Want me. Because I thought running was easier than facing the truth.”
“And what’s the truth?”
She looked at me then. Really looked at me.
And the vulnerability in her eyes nearly destroyed me.
“The truth is, I love him,” she said, her voice breaking.
“I love him, and I’m terrified because I don’t know how to do this.
I don’t know how to do any of it, but I can’t run anymore.
I can’t keep pretending this isn’t real. ”
Oh God. Her words hit me like a physical blow, stealing what little breath I had left.
She loved me. She’d said it. Out loud. In front of everyone.
The protective instinct that roared to life was so fierce, so all-consuming, that it drowned out everything else.
The fear. The doubt. The voice whispering that I didn’t deserve this, that I’d fuck it up, that I was too broken to be a father.
None of it mattered because she was mine and so was the life growing inside her, and I would be damned to hell if I let anyone, anyone hurt them.
I stood. The movement was slow. Deliberate. Every eye in the room turned to me as I pushed away from the bar and took a step forward. Then another. And another.
Carver moved like he was going to stop me, but Morpheus held up a hand. “Let him go.”
I didn’t look at him. Didn’t look at any of them. I only had eyes for her.
Alex watched me approach, her expression a mixture of hope and fear, and desperate, aching need.
Tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t wipe them away.
She just stood there, waiting. Waiting for me to choose, and I did.
I crossed the room in long strides, my boots heavy on the floor, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst. When I reached her, I didn’t hesitate. I pulled her into my arms and held her.
Tight. So tight I could feel her heartbeat against my chest. So tight I could smell the road dust in her hair and the faint scent of her shampoo beneath it.
So tight that nothing, nothing could come between us.
“I’ve got you,” I whispered against her hair, my voice rough.
“I’ve got you, Alex. I’m not letting you go. Not ever again.”
She sobbed against my chest, her hands fisting in my shirt, her entire body shaking. “I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry, Nano. I shouldn’t have run. I shouldn’t have.”
“Shh.” I pressed my lips to the top of her head. “It’s okay. You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered, like she needed to say it again. Like she needed me to hear it.
“I know.” I pulled back just enough to cup her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I know, baby. And I’m not going anywhere. You hear me? I’m not leaving you. Not now. Not ever.”
Her eyes searched mine, looking for the lie. The doubt. The fear. But all she found was the truth. I loved her. I loved her, and I was going to fight for her. For us. For the family we were about to become. No matter what it cost me.
Behind us, I heard Morpheus sigh. “Well,” he said dryly. “It’s about fucking time, woman.”