Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Robbie
Having a brofriend is possibly my favorite thing.
After Bro-motions night, we fuck. Before classes, we have a quick morning jerk together.
During the day, we argue and bicker and are exactly the same as we’ve ever been, but now I can admit to myself that I really like those back-and-forths with him.
They don’t annoy me.
If anything, they turn me on.
And now it’s February, and we’re heading to Kilborough to visit Brandon’s family.
Maybe we should have come up with some kind of lie for if our brothers noticed us both missing all weekend, but with people always in and out of the house, it’s unlikely.
Instead, we snuck out, and I figure we’ll deal with it if we need to.
For now, all my focus is being given to Brandon’s parents.
This isn’t going to be awkward as balls at all.
I swear Brandon is sweating bricks.
“You okay?” I ask, taking a long slurp of my Icee.
“Of course.”
“You could at least try for convincing.”
“That was convincing.”
“If you say so …”
He throws a glare my way. It makes me laugh.
“Do you need to house-train me before we get there?”
“House-train?”
“You know, warn me about my bad habits and teach me all the shit you need to for them to like me.”
That makes him smile. “You have nothing to worry about.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. They’re never going to like you, so there’s no point in trying.”
I’d whack him if he wasn’t driving. “You’re a fucking dick.”
“Dude, don’t stress. You already know they’re excited to meet you.”
They are. We talked on the phone to them last night, and both Amber and Steve were excitedly running through their plans for the weekend.
“Do you think they were serious when they asked if they should set up separate beds?”
He cringes. “I still can’t believe she said that.”
“I can. She totally knows we’re hooking up.”
“Yeah, well, while we’re there, we’re not. We’ll sleep in separate rooms and act like the friends we are. There’s no need for them to get invested in a relationship that doesn’t exist.”
I get what he’s saying, even if I don’t like it.
Which is a first for me.
I’ve never been tempted to do the relationship thing once during college, and here I am, right at the end of it, thinking I might want one with him.
Brandon’s special. I think that’s the thing that’s always drawn me to him.
All that posturing and showing off for him freshman year, the drinking, the dumb pranks, the being over-the-top at parties just because I knew his attention would be focused on me …
our verbal sparring matches that can last all day, and then the video games and breakfast together, and quiet moments while we walk across campus.
When it comes to college, he’s there in almost all of my memories.
Chad and I might be thick as thieves—or at least we were before we both started focusing on other dudes—but even though we’re close, it’s never been like it is with Brandon.
Instead of trying to voice all that, I lean forward and turn up the music.
“Oh no …” Brandon moans when I start to sing.
And sure, I don’t have a great voice, but it’s fun, so sue me.
We get to Kilborough in good time and pull up at a large property outside of town. Even from here I can see the huge abandoned prison that drives the town’s economy. We drive down the long driveway until we reach a large single-story house.
“This is big for two people,” I say.
“All the back half of the house is rooms for our farmhands. Some of them prefer to stay on-site when they’re rostered because of the early mornings.”
“What’s the farm do?”
“Fresh produce, mostly. Mom sells at a market in town, but most of it is sent up to Boston.”
“That’s cool.”
He nods. “It’s not something I’m interested in, but it was cool to grow up here with all of this land. I knew kids from the properties near here, and we all used to sneak out at night.”
“That’s not very safe of you, Mr. Risk Manager.”
“I haven’t always been a stickler for rules, fuck you very much.”
“Nah, but you’ve always been more sensible than the rest of us.”
He doesn’t like that, judging by the way his face falls.
“Hey, that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun. You’re just smarter about it.”
“Yeah, okay,” he says like he doesn’t believe me.
“Hey.” I grab his thigh before he can climb out of the car. “I think you’re really fucking cool, Brando.”
He gives my hand a quick squeeze. “Thanks.”
We separate and climb out of the car to meet his parents, who are waiting on the porch. There are warm hugs all around, even for me, which is awesome.
I pull back from hugging his mom, who barely reaches my shoulders, and turn to Brandon. “I see where you got your height from.”
“Fuck off. Dad, tell Robbie I’m six foot.”
His dad tilts his head to the side. “Are you? I thought you were five nine.”
I roar with laughter at how indignant he looks.
“Mom.”
“Mom,” I mock.
He flips me off.
She wraps her arm around his waist and steers him inside, putting on a baby voice. “Come on, dear, let’s get away from those mean men.”
“At least someone loves me,” he throws back.
I’m still snorting back my amusement when I grab our bags and follow them.
“How long have you and Brandon known each other?” Steve asks, following me into the house. He’s where Brandon got his blond hair from, even though Steve’s is streaked with gray, and he’s got a thick farm-strong body. Brandon’s dad is a total DILF, and I can’t wait to mercilessly tease him about it.
“We rushed together freshman year. I haven’t been able to get rid of him since.”
Steve eyes me. “Yeah, he’s mentioned you a few times. Nothing like making lifelong college buddies.”
“Exactly. I swear some of my brothers don’t get that, but we’re bros for life. That was the whole point of joining a fraternity.”
“It was nice of you to come back here for his birthday.”
“It was nice of him to stay with me for Christmas.”
Steve smiles suddenly. “I bet. That big old house, all to yourselves.”
“What? No. I just mean—”
He slaps me on the back. “I’m messing with you. I have to duck out and check up on some things, but drop the bags at the stairs and follow the hall. They’ll be out the back.”
I thank him, still not sure what to think of that exchange. I know they’re both suspicious that there’s something between us—their hints haven’t been subtle—and it kinda seems like he likes me anyway.
My chest fills with some sort of bullshit pride, and I swear I fucking inflate at the thought. I dump the bags and follow Steve’s directions, but when I hear Brandon and Amber talking, I pause.
“I’m only saying, honey, no judgment.”
“Stop. I get it. You’re fine if I’m gay—”
“Or bi.”
“Or that.” Brandon sighs. “Look, it’s … complicated, okay? Please don’t make things weird.”
“Weird? Why would I make things weird? I’m offended you’d assume such a thing.”
I can’t see what look he’s giving her, but she chuckles.
“Fine. I’ll drop it even though I don’t understand what’s so complicated. You either like the guy, or you don’t.”
“I don’t want to label anything, because … You know what, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh no, not with your mother. You do know what your father and I did to put you on this earth, right?”
I cringe at the same time as he groans, because parents should never, ever act anything other than virginal in their kid’s presence.
“If I tell you, can you promise to drop this entire conversation? For the whole weekend? No talking about any of it?”
“Of course.”
“Robbie’s the only guy I’ve ever even thought about like that. I’ve never been attracted to a dude before him, and even now, I look at other guys and there’s nothing. Once this thing ends, I’ll be with chicks again, so is there even any point in having this conversation?”
My jaw doesn’t hit the ground, but damn it comes close. He doesn’t think guys are attractive? So what the fuck are we doing, then? Why me?
This sinking feeling hits my gut as he confirms everything I’ve known but have been ignoring.
We’re a fun time. A college fling. And when we end, Brandon goes back to being the straight boy.
It was always going to happen, so it shouldn’t hit so hard.
“I know I said I’d drop it, but I have one more question,” his mom says. “Why are you so sure it’s going to end?”
And Amber just became my favorite person.
There’s the scrape of a chair, and I chance a quick peek to see Brandon has dropped into it.
“Robbie doesn’t do relationships, and even if he did, he lives in Arizona.
College is almost over. And no college relationships last anyway, so obviously this thing is going to end whether it’s soon or not.
And it will be fine when it does, because I don’t want to lose him as a friend. ”
“Interesting.”
He grunts. “What is?”
“Just that was a whole lot of excuses, and not one of them was because you want it to.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want. Robbie is not the dating kind.”
Ouch. I duck away from where they are in the kitchen and make my way to the living room. His words are fair; I can’t dispute them. I’m not the dating kind. I’ve never done a single thing to make people assume I’m capable of settling down. I’ve never wanted to.
I’ve been trying to convince people I’m not boyfriend material for years, even if most of them don’t listen.
And now I’ve finally found someone to hook up with, someone who knows the score and isn’t trying to push for more, and … I don’t like it.
For the first time ever, I’m ready.
Too bad he’s already written us off before we even had a chance to try.