Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Brandon
Robbie is on his best behavior. He gets along with my parents and keeps a friendly distance from me. Exactly the way I asked him to. Exactly like he does when we’re at school.
And I hate it.
I’m beyond frustrated with myself and this growing need inside me for his attention. He ends up spending a lot of the afternoon outside with Dad and then on the couch across from me as we play Monopoly with my parents.
Which would be some wholesome fun if Mom and Robbie weren’t taking this shit way too seriously. Dad rolls his eyes at me across the board, and I laugh, catching Robbie’s attention.
“Don’t start.” He points at me. “This is clearly life or death.”
“And clearly you’re all terrible at business,” Mom says as she adds another hotel to her arsenal, “because you’re about to be whipped by a little old lady.”
“Ohh, let’s talk about whipping some more,” Robbie says.
I throw the dice at his head. “Dude, don’t hit on my parents.”
“Why not? They’re both hot.”
I bury my face in my hands.
Dad tsks. “Where do you find these friends, Brandon?”
“I was scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one,” I answer. Only, when I look up, a strange expression crosses Robbie’s face before he covers it with his typical grin.
“You’re all jealous because I’m about to land on Boardwalk.” He rolls a five and throws his hands up. “Holy shit I can’t believe that worked.”
Mom and Dad rib him as he showboats and fills the property with houses. This whole day has knocked me off-center. Even watching him with my family feels like I’m waiting to wake up from a strange dream where somehow my two lives are colliding.
I want to hate it.
But I don’t.
This shivery sort of happiness is filling my limbs, and I can try and fool myself all I like that it’s because I’m home and have missed my parents. I know it’s total bullshit.
Robbie is the cause.
And that shit is not okay.
All the reasons I gave Mom are valid, but there was one very big one I left out. I’m scared.
I’m catching feelings for the big idiot, and I know that should be my warning sign to call things off, but I’m scared I’m already in too far.
I love being around him. Whether we’re sleeping together or hanging out, he makes things better.
I’m a sucker for his company.
I haven’t looked at anyone else in months.
I don’t even give a shit that he’s a guy and it’s not something I ever pictured for myself.
When we say good night and Robbie ducks into the spare room with nothing more than a pat on the shoulder, I tell myself not to read into it. He’s being respectful. He’s listening to what I asked of him.
The next day at the Killer Brew, where we meet up with extended family for my birthday lunch, I try not to focus on Robbie hanging back and keeping his distance. Or the way he doesn’t sit with me at lunch. Or how he never tries to join in the conversations I’m having even when I wave him over.
I’m supposed to be enjoying my birthday, and sure, I appreciate my parents getting everyone together for me, but fuck, I’m so distracted that it’s frustrating even me.
This isn’t like Robbie. Even when we’re around our brothers, he’s nonstop teasing, and we’re in each other’s space. We act exactly the way we always have, which isn’t like this. Something’s changed.
I’m trying not to freak out.
Was meeting the family too much for him?
Is this hitting too close to a real relationship and going to be the thing that ends us?
I throw back my drink and try to let go of the worries. Whatever happens will happen. We’re not long-term, and I need to stop forgetting that.
But as much as I tell myself to keep away, when we’re home that afternoon, I corner Robbie alone while the others disappear to who knows where.
I don’t let him get a word out before I press him against the wall and kiss him.
“Shit, I needed that,” I say.
He wraps his arms around me. “What’s this about? I thought we were doing the friends-only thing while we’re here.”
“Around my parents, yeah. When we’re alone, we’re still brofriends, right?”
“In that case …” He leans down and kisses me long and slow, neither of us in a hurry to separate.
I don’t sense any hesitation on his side, and it helps to settle that gnawing worry inside me.
“So kissing is still okay?”
“Dude, always.” I nip his bottom lip. “While we’re here, kissing in private is cool. Broning is not.”
He jerks back. “Broning?”
“Bros who bone. Duh.”
“You made up a word for me.” Robbie cups my face. “I think I just fell in love.”
He’s teasing me, but damn if my heart doesn’t do some acrobatics shit. And because I don’t want him to know what those words do to me, I shove him and laugh.
Before I can walk off, he hooks an arm around my waist. “Sneak into my room tonight?”
“Dude, I just said—”
“No broning. I got you.”
“Then …”
His blue eyes soften as he runs his hand through my hair. “Maybe it’s only me, but things have been feeling awkward. Everything’s okay with us, right?”
It’s almost on my tongue to tell him that I don’t think it is. That I think I’m going to ruin everything. I can’t say it. “Yeah, of course. You good?”
“I’m good.”
“Then we’re good.”
And when the house is finally quiet that night, I sneak down the hall to Robbie’s room and let myself in.
My parents wouldn’t have cared if we shared a room the whole time here, but then they would have assumed we’re more than we are, not that they haven’t been doing that anyway.
I swear if I told them we were dating, they’d throw a fucking party.
The second he sees me, Robbie pulls back the blanket, and I climb in beside him. Thankfully, he’s clothed too, so the temptation isn’t as bad as it would be if he was only in his underwear.
It’s dark, so I can’t see his face, but his hand finds my abs under the covers, and he lightly traces his fingers over them.
“I … have a present for you,” he says.
“You do?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. Just something dumb and small.” He leans over the other side of the bed and grabs my gift. “It’s not wrapped.”
I can’t see it properly, but the material under my fingers is smooth and soft.
“It’s a scarf,” he tells me.
I can make out the knit pattern. “Did you make this?”
“Ah, yeah. Didn’t have the money to buy something, so …”
“I love it.”
“You haven’t even seen it. Maybe it’s in that shit-green color you love so much.”
“Damn, I hope so.” But I don’t need to see it. He made it for me, and the thing could look like fucking vomit for all I care. I’ll be wearing it anyway. I fold it and place it on the floor beside the bed before curling into his side again.
“It would have been cool growing up here,” he says.
“It was. Mostly. I mean, when you’re a teenager, small towns aren’t the most exciting place, but I know I was lucky.”
“You think this is a small town?” he asks. “There were ten kids in my grade at school, and you could walk from one end of the town to the other in a few hours.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah, it was fun though. We used to get up to some shit. Especially me and Marshall.”
“You guys are close?” I ask.
“Yep. I love him like no one else. He’s the quiet one in the family, but he’s not quiet-quiet. He’s more subtle snark, and the others don’t get him, so he always feels a bit left out.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, but at least when I was there, we’d take off all day and go swimming in the creek or sit in the parking lot of the gas station drinking Icees and heckling the people grabbing gas.”
“You? Being a pain in the ass?” I snort back a laugh. “That doesn’t sound right.”
“Fuck you.”
“You do. Frequently.”
His fingers flex as he groans. “Don’t start. No broning, remember?”
“But it’s fun to tease you.”
His hand flattens to my stomach, then runs slowly up to my chest and back down again. “I like when you have fun.”
“Me too. Not enough of it these days though.”
“But you liked Guard Duty, right?”
There’s something about the way he asks, like he needs my approval, that warms me. I wriggle closer and grab his arm, pulling it around me so I can rest my head on his shoulder. “I did. You know, when you’re not being a walking hazard, it’s kind of impossible not to have fun around you.”
He presses his lips to my forehead. My eyes fall closed, and I lean into his touch, glad it’s dark and he can’t see what he’s doing to me. The way he’s twisting me up isn’t right. It’s not what we planned.
I clear my throat and pull back. “You miss your brother?”
“Yep.”
“At least there’s only a few months left until you’ll be back with him.”
“Maybe …”
I latch onto that one word. “I thought you planned to go back?”
“I did, but now that I have this internship, if they offer me a proper job with them, I’m going to stay.”
“Stay? In West Haven?”
“If I get lucky.”
The image of him in his button-up and tie makes me smile. “You’re gonna be a corporate guy.”
“It still needs to happen yet.”
“It will.” Because it has to. If Robbie stays, even if we’re not hooking up anymore, we’ll have more chances to keep in touch. Chad and Bailey are heading to New York City, which is only a few hours away, and if Robbie and I end up in the same city, we might get to keep a bit of what we have.
“What about you?” he asks.
“Staying close to a bigger city and finding a design job with a company will be my first step, but when I’m older, I’ve always wanted to move back here. Or close by. I thought it was a pain in the ass when I was a kid, but I can see myself raising my family here.”
He’s quiet for a moment. “That’s some suburban dream right there.”
“Don’t make fun.”
“I’m not. It sounds awesome. How many kids will you have?”
“Two,” I say.
“Yes, me too.” Somehow, even in the dark, when I go to high-five him, his hand is already there waiting. “A big farm like this or someplace small?”
“Maybe in the middle. Lots of land for ATVs and shit, but a small house.”
“You could do your own vegetable garden,” he says.
“And run a design business from home.”
“Maybe get some chickens running around.”
I press my face into his shoulder. That whole thing sounds fucking perfect and idealistic to me. A relaxed life. No nine-to-five. A family I can spend time with.
“Don’t forget the guest room,” he says.
Guest room? “What do you mean?”
“Well, if I’m close by, I can come visit, right? And I don’t think your wife would want me sharing a bed with the two of you.”
My wife … Just when I’m getting swept up in the perfect future, Robbie had to go and mention that. A wife has been what I’ve always imagined, but now, it makes my heart sink.
I press tighter against him because for one wild fucking moment, I saw myself doing all that with him. “Not something we have to worry about for a long time.”
“True.” He yawns and presses another kiss to my head. “I’m beat.”
“Then go to sleep, idiot.”
“You gonna stay here?”
“Do you want me to?” I fire back.
There’s only a slight hesitation, and then he softly says, “Yeah … I do.”
I wrap my arm around him and cuddle into his side. He’s big and warm and so fucking comfortable. “Good night, then.”