Brandon
Idon’t know what I was thinking, rushing a fraternity. The guys on the football team told me Greek life was wild and I guess I wanted a bit of that. The wild. The chaos. The fun.
I’m not sure how sleeping on a bunk bed, in a room with three other dudes I’ve never met before, is supposed to be considered fun, but I’m in this now.
Sigma Beta Psi.
My dad couldn’t stop laughing when I told him I’m a frat boy.
“Think they’ll have anything for us tonight?
” a gravelly voice asks in the darkness.
It’s the first time any of us have spoken after lights out.
And before lights out is usually some variation of “you cool, brother? You good? Quit stealing my toothpaste, Robbie” before we all settle in for the night.
I tilt my head toward Zeke–the only one of us who isn’t a football player.
"I hope not," I sigh. "I don't think I've slept all week."
"Trick is to fall asleep instantly so you can at least manage a hour or two before you're woken again."
I can't immediately place if that's Chad or Robbie who spoke. I think Chad. We haven't spoken much, but I'm sure Robbie's voice is deeper than that.
My suspicion is confirmed when he laughs. "Fucking thanks for that, Dooms. Just fall asleep. Great advice, brother."
"I was being serious."
"That's what's making me laugh."
Before they can start bickering, Zeke cuts in. "I bet you two are hoping they come."
There's a pause ... and then Chad and Robbie burst out laughing.
"Hells yeah we are," Chad says. "I'm fully dressed and ready to go."
"Not me," Robbie says. "They can drag me out of here with my ass out."
I jolt up and lean over the side of the bed to look down at him. "Tell me you're not sleeping nude."
"Why?" He blows a kiss at me. "Looks like you're trying to catch a peek."
"No, just don't want to catch your cooties."
"Cooties?" Apparently he finds that as hilarious as, well, everything. "What? You think my dick germs are gonna crawl up the ladder and infest you in your sleep?"
My face heats because he's right. I don't know why I said that. I hmph and lie back down, crossing my arms for good measure even though he can't see me. "Who sleeps naked in a room with three other dudes?"
"A brave one," Chad answers before breaking out with a yawn. "Never know what we could be planning. I'm sure I saw some hot wax in the bathroom earlier."
"You wax my balls and you'll be kissing them better."
Chad chokes on a noise. "That's gay of you."
"Not gay, just don't touch my no-no bits."
I cringe. "Do not call your dick no-no bits."
"Besides, that isn't much of a threat," Zeke reasons. "You have no idea if Doomsen would enjoy it."
I glance over at the bunk opposite mine to find Chad's mouth opening and closing a bunch. "Can we all stop talking about me sucking Robbie's balls?"
"Technically you're the only one talking about sucking," I point out.
He flips me off.
I probably deserve it.
"I just want to put it out there," I say. "I'm straight, but if any of you guys aren't, I honestly don't give a shit."
There's a beat of silence when Zeke says, "Straight."
"Yeah ..." Chad tucks his hands behind his head. "Me too."
"Mostly straight," Robbie says.
That catches my attention.
"Umm ... how can you be mostly straight?"
"Easy. I'm into chicks, but I can't say if I was drunk and horny that I'd turn down sex from a dude."
There is so much to unpack there, I don't know where to start.
Zeke gets there first. "That's not how it works," he says, voice tense.
Chad backs him up. "Yeah, drunk and horny isn't a sexuality."
"I am who I am," Robbie defends. "All I'm saying is if you put a dick in my face right now, it'd be a hell no, bro. If I was drunk, I might have a little taste."
The three of us groan.
"Oh, come on. You can't tell me if you're there, all horny, and some dude offers you a BJ, that you're going to say no."
"That's exactly what I'm saying," I correct. "That's what straight means. If you're gay, just say it."
"Or bi," Chad says quickly.
"I'm not either. Dicks don't do it for me. Well, except mine. I have a fucking monster schlong, and I'm damn proud of the mini me. Love having play time with him."
"This is the weirdest fucking conversation I've ever had," Zeke mutters.
"Yeah," I say. "Can you maybe make sure you and the monster schedule playtime for when the rest of us are out?"
"No can do, boo. I've been good so far, but as soon as we're close, you're all going to have to buy noise canceling headphones or some shit. I'll be doing the same. Out of respect for you guys."
"Respect?"
"Of course." Robbie sounds offended. "I want my brothers to be able to beat the meat whenever they need to. It's great stress relief. Helps with mental health. Nothing more important to me than my home boys being good in the head."
"In the head, or at head?" I snark.
Robbie laughs. "Hey, if you're offering, I won't say no."
"What happened to straight?"
"It's warring with my need to show off the beast."
"How about we just take your word for it?" Zeke suggests.
"Suit yourself."
Conversation dies down and after not too long, Zeke's tell tale even breathing tells me he's fallen asleep, and when I glance over at Chad, he's hugging his pillow and seems to be out of it too.
I wish it was as easy for me to fall asleep. Knowing we could be woken again in an hour has me on high alert, wondering what the Sigma brothers might have in store for us tonight.
So far this week we've had to dig a hole for four hours, had to scrub all the bathrooms in the house at three A.M. in full hazmat suits, and been sent to Kappa house to cover it in flour. I have no idea where they come up with these ideas.
It takes me too long to realize Robbie's snoring is missing.
"You still awake?" I murmur.
"Yeah." His head pops up right beside me, and I jump.
"Dude, warn a guy."
He grins wide. "Sorry. Didn't want to wake the others."
"Even your whispering voice is loud."
He shrugs and crosses his arms over the edge of my mattress. "Big family."
"Huh. Only child."
"I figured."
"You ... figured?"
"You are way too uptight to have siblings, bro."
I roll onto my side to face him. "I don't think that's a thing."
"Of course it's a thing. There's no way I could have been so protective of my shit or been so fuddy duddy about things being a certain way with my brothers around. One whiff of that kind of weakness and they'd fuck with my shit just to mess with me."
"Are you going to fuck with my shit just to mess with me?"
"Nah ..." He smiles evilly. "At least, not straight away."
"I can't tell if you're going to be the best friend I ever had, or be the most annoying person in my life."
"I'm a bit of an overachiever. I'll just be both."
Self-confidence is one thing this guy doesn't lack. "Why did you join a frat?"
"The brotherhood," he says immediately. "Like, I said, big family. I love this kind of dysfunctional chaos. I love being part of a group who all love and support each other."
"And you think that's what being Sigma will be like?"
"Yep." It's the first time he's looked serious. "Otherwise I'll fucking make it that way."
"Okay, maybe you're not completely annoying."
His eyes twinkle at me. "Why did you join?"
"It sounds kind of stupid after your reason."
"Why?"
"I joined ... because it sounded fun. I'm from a small town. You might have grown up with all this, but my life has always been very quiet."
"Oh, hey. Small town, too."
"There's no way in hell I would have guessed that." We're quiet for a moment.
"So ... all that stuff from before?"
"The dick stuff?" I clarify.
"Yeah. That."
"What about it?"
"You know I was joking, right?"
I eye him. "I don't think you were."
"No, like ... the sexuality shit, I don't give a fuck about that. But sometimes I overdo it. I like making people laugh, and I just don't want you to be offended. Because, well, you know."
"I know?"
"Yeah." He looks at me like I should be catching on to what he's saying. "Because ... you're gay?"
I can't tell if he's joking or not. "What? No, I'm not."
"Bro, it's cool. I'm cool. We love you and we'll support you--"
"One, I've known you for less than a week, calm down. Two, I'm not gay. I literally said to you guys, just before, I'm straight."
"Yeah, but ... I mean, we've all seen how you dress."
I just stare at him. "In clothes?"
"Fancy clothes, man. Super fancy. I could see your dick imprint the other day, your pants were so tight."
"Excuse me for not wearing mountain man utility pants every time I leave the house."
Robbie reaches over to pat my arm. "It's okay. No judgment. You can even flirt with me if you want to."
"I don't want to."
"Doomsen then. He's a pretty guy."
"I don't want to flirt with anyone. Because I'm straight."
Robbie finally lets out a sigh. "Okay, okay, you're straight. But I just want it known that if that ever changes, I'm here for you."
"Thanks," I say dryly.
He keeps looking at me like he's expecting more, and I don't know if he thinks I'm going to confess sudden queerness or what.
"And you'd be there for me too, right?"
"You're saying there's a chance you're not straight?"
He throws his hands up. "I don't know what the future will bring. Never say never and all that."
"Fine. Yes. I will obviously support you."
"And ..."
It takes me a minute. Oh my fucking god. "I will love and support you. Better?"
"You're a good friend, Brando." He kisses his hand then presses it to my forehead. "Night, pumpkin."
The whole bunk shudders as he drops back into bed and I'm left staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell that was, and just how many more moments like that I'm going to have with Robbie Harrows.