Chapter 16
The smell of the doctor’s office hit Tasha’s nose hard.
Bleach. Sanitizer. Rubber gloves. That sterile kind of clean that never made anybody feel better.
It just burned your nose. The walls were too white.
The lights were too bright. Everything too quiet.
Tasha sat on the edge of the exam table, feet dangling.
She hated being there. Tiffany, her older sister, sat beside her, her knees bouncing, purse clutched tight in her lap.
She hadn’t stopped moving since they walked in.
Anxiety had Tiffany wired. Tasha had asked Niyah and Shyann to go with her, but Niyah had appointments with her children, and Shyann had been missing in action lately. Again.
“You okay?” Tiffany asked softly, rubbing Tasha’s hand.
Tasha nodded, even though her stomach felt like it was sinking through the floor.
“Yeah…I’m cool, Tiff.” That was a lie. She was a nervous wreck.
She was afraid of the news that the doctor was about to tell her.
Dr. Madison walked in with a thin folder and a face that didn’t know how to pretend.
He didn’t smile this time. Didn’t even ease into it.
That’s when Tasha knew what was up.
He pulled up a chair, sitting at eye level with her. He took a breath and folded his bottom lip in while he adjusted his glasses on his nose.
“Tasha,” he said, calm but careful. “Thank you for coming back in so quickly.”
Her fingers curled into the paper beneath her thighs. Tiffany went still, her heart beating more than normal.
“We went over the imaging and labs from your Pap,” he continued. “They both confirmed what we were concerned about.”
Tasha blinked once. Twice. “Okay…” She already knew where this was heading; she just needed to hear the actual words.
Dr. Madison folded his hands, letting his gaze wander to Tasha. “There’s no easy way to say this… but you have ovarian cancer.”
The words didn’t land right away. They floated. Hung in the air like smoke.
Ovarian. Cancer. Tasha had a feeling that something was going on. But to hear the diagnosis from Dr. Madison shook her to her core.
Tiffany’s breath hitched. “No… wait. What? Are you sure, Doc? That can’t be right. Right, T? Run the test again, to… to… to be sure. Tash!”
Tasha stared straight ahead, eyes fixed on the wall. It was as if time had stopped. She came out of her daze. “Run that back again.”
Dr. Madison did. Slower this time. Like she hadn’t heard him the first time, instead of not wanting to.
He kept throwing words out to her, and she was doing everything but dodging them. Stage II. Treatable. Aggressive but not hopeless. Surgery. Chemo. Options.
All she could think about was all the times they’d been trying. The disappointments. Silent prayers in the closet. Sticky notes of written prayers on the wall of the closet. The negative pregnancy tests lined up on the bathroom sink.
One line. Always one fucking line.
Her voice finally came out, thin. “So… the baby thing.”
Doctor Madison hesitated.
Tiffany leaned forward. “Yeah… Doc. Her and her fiancé have been trying, but no luck.”
Dr. Madison nodded. “That’s why fertility has been so complicated. Treatment will come first. We can discuss preservation options, but right now the priority is your health, Ms. Hayes.”
Health.
Tasha laughed once. A short, broken sound. “My body been betraying me this whole fuckin’ time.” She punched herself on the thigh. “This. Whole. Fuckin’. Time.”
Tiffany grabbed her hand. “Stop! Don’t say that, Tasha.”
“But it has,” Tasha whispered, as tears filled her eyes. “I knew somethin’ was wrong. I knew it. I just didn’t wanna face the shit.”
Her chest burned, but the tears didn’t fall. She refused to cry in this room. Refused to give these walls that satisfaction. They had broken her enough.
Tiffany leaned forward closer to her, gripping her hands tighter. “Sis, if it comes down to it? I’ll just carry the baby for y’all. It’s okay. Don’t cry.”
Dr. Madison slid a box of tissues closer. “I’m sorry. I know this is a lot. And not the news you were hoping for. Take some time off work, go on leave so we can get ahead of this.”
Tasha finally looked at them, frantic. “Oh, my Gawd! I. I—I can’t tell Juelz.”
Tiffany’s head snapped toward her. “Tash—”
“What? I. I—I can’t Tiff. I just can’t. I can’t, I can’t do it. I… I … I—”
“Okay… calm down, you don’t have to,” Tiffany said quietly. “Not yet.”
Doctor Madison nodded. “That’s your choice. But you shouldn’t carry this alone.”
Tasha squeezed Tiffany’s hand tighter. “I’m not.”
But even as she said it, she knew everything was about to change.
Her future. Her body. Her plans.
And the hardest part? She had to go home and look Juelz in the eyes like nothing was wrong…
while her whole world was cracking open.
Shyann had finally called Tasha back and wanted to meet up to grab a bite to eat.
So, Tasha agreed. She sat at the booth, sipping water but wanting something much stronger.
Shyann came strolling in like she was the number one best friend in the world.
But she wasn’t. She was everything but such.
She slid into the seat across from her, sunglasses on, fake casual.
Tasha stared dead at her. “Took you long enough to finally call me back. What the hell you been doin’? I thought we talked about you going ghost when we need you.”
Shyann sighed, taking her shades off. “Girl, I know we did. I've been busy. You know how it is. Family shit, and my mom's been tripping hard on me.”
“Yeah, you right. I do know how you are,” Tasha replied.
Shyann took a swig of her drink. “Where you comin’ from lookin’ all down and shit. Ewww!”
Tasha exhaled, looking down at the table. “Humm…I went to the doctor. I had to go in for my follow-up.”
Shyann froze, squinting her eyes. “You okay. What happened?”
“You know me and Juelz have been tryna get pregnant. But it don’t ever happen.
So lately I been havin’ some weird symptoms, so I wanted to check it out.
” Tasha sipped her water, then set the glass back on the table.
“So today… Dr. Madison told me…I have ovarian cancer. My chances of becomin’ a mother are very slim now. ”
Shyann's face went blank, not from the shocking words. But from zoning out. Like somebody had muted her.
“Can’t conceive?” she said out loud, finally. She didn’t even mention the cancer diagnosis. All she saw now was how she could use that information to her advantage.
Tasha nodded once. “Yeah, that’s what he said.” She gave a weak little laugh that didn’t belong anywhere near the moment. “Crazy, right? I went in thinkin’ they finna tell me I was too stressed or some regular shit. Came out with a whole surgery schedule. Ain’t that some shit.”
Shyann swallowed hard. Her throat felt tight. Burning.
“Damn, T,” she whispered. “I—I’m so sorry to hear that.”
Tasha finally looked up at Shyann, almost catching the smile on her face.
“The fucked-up part?” she said quietly. “I ain’t even trippin’ on me like that.
I’m okay. God got me,” she said, pointing towards the ceiling.
“I’m trippin’ because of Juelz. I don’t know how to tell him that his dream might never happen.
Or at least not with me. He wants a son so bad.
I see it in his eyes every time we talk about it. ”
Shyann’s stomach twisted. All she heard was the ‘at least not with me part.’ She was thinking of ways she could use this information. If Tasha couldn’t give him the one thing he desired. Then maybe she could.
She reached across the table and grabbed Tasha’s hand. “He loves you, T. That’s what matters. Not a baby right now. But you and your health.”
Tasha squeezed her hand back. “I know. That’s why this hurt so bad.”
Silence fell between them. Heavy. Loud.
Shyann felt it pressing on her chest. The secret.
The video. The way she’d already dirtied something sacred.
She looked down at Tasha’s hand in hers and felt a sick surge of adrenaline.
If Tasha was medically ‘broken,’ then Juelz didn’t have a reason to stay.
He wanted a legacy, and she was the only one left who could give it to him.
She wasn’t just the ‘other woman’ anymore.
In her head, she was the upgrade. She was the one who could really give him the life that Tasha was losing.
She glanced down at her own flat stomach, her mind thinking of all the possibilities.
This wasn’t about the video anymore. Shyann was plotting to take the whole throne away now.
“Girl, you gon’ be okay,” Shyann added quickly, almost desperate. “Medicine so advance now. You strong as hell. You always been.”
Tasha smiled at her then. Soft. Grateful. Real. “That’s why you my girl,” she said. “I needed you today.”
Shyann nodded, forcing a smile back. But inside? She was on edge, because Tasha was sitting right there, trusting her, leaning on her for support. And Shyann already knew she was the knife aimed straight at her back.