Chapter 17
The walk from the driveway to the front door felt like a mile.
Tasha stood on the porch for a second, her hand hovering over the lock.
She could hear the TV inside, the muffled sounds of a basketball game.
That’s what was waiting on the other side.
A life that didn't have room for the word "Cancer. "
She took a breath, ran a hand through her hair, and stepped inside.
The house was giving straight bakery vibes, with the scent of vanilla and warm sugar floating through the air. Juelz knew Tasha didn’t like him lighting her candles, but he ignored her every time and did it anyway.
“Tash? That you, stank?”
Juelz was in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a glass of water. His dreads were pulled back, and he was wearing that grey sweat suit that Tasha loved. When he saw her, his whole face softened.
“Hey,” she said, her voice steadier than she expected. She dropped her keys in the bowl by the door.
Juelz walked over, closing the distance in three long strides. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling the soft, sweet scent coming off her skin.
“How’d it go at your appointment, shorty?” he asked, kissing her on the neck. “You didn’t call me.”
Tasha leaned into him, letting her eyes close. For a second, she just wanted to disappear into his chest. If I don’t say it, it’s not real, she thought.
“It was okay,” she lied, her face pressed against his shoulder. “He said everythin’ looks good. We just got to keep tryin’. The Pap that they did came back normal.” Her fingers moved through his dreads. “He also wanna do a little procedure… to ummm… check the strength of my fallopian tubes.”
She wiped at her eyes, disappointment sagging through her. “I guess we just gotta trust God.”
Juelz tightened his grip around her. Seeing her like that twisted something deep in his chest. “Aye… look at me,” he lifted her chin up to him. “We’ll be aight.”
She tried to turn away, but he held her there until their eyes met. “Don’t be sad that we gotta keep tryin’…” a crooked grin tugged at his lips. “All Doc sayin’ is I get to keep skeeting that pussy up.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she said, forcing a tired grin. “I love you, Jue.”
He pulled back, his eyes locking onto hers.
“I love ya, too… more than anythin’.” He leaned down, kissing her forehead.
“More than life.” Another kiss to her cheek.
“Don’t ever forget that.” He studied her face for a moment, his mind replaying everything Shyann was doing.
The games she was running on both of them.
“I’d do anythin’ to keep you straight. Anythin’.
” Then he kissed her slowly and deeply, with so much emotion, as if he was trying to carve those words somewhere permanent.
They stood there in the kitchen, holding each other like life rafts in a storm. Two people in love, both thinking they were the only ones carrying a secret that could destroy the other. Juelz was protecting her career while Tasha was protecting his heart.
And neither of them realized that the house wasn’t a sanctuary anymore. It was a graveyard of things they weren’t saying. Juelz's phone vibrated.
Shyann was texting. But he rolled his eyes and ignored it, placing it face down on the granite counter.
“Who keep callin’ you, Jue?”
Juelz kissed her neck. “Shit, nobody matters more than this moment. I’ll call em’ back later.”
Tasha leaned her head back, letting his lips trail over her skin, but the vibration of the phone on the counter was starting to sound like a jackhammer.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
It was rhythmic. Demanding. You would’ve thought it was a telemarketer who consistently kept calling. It felt like a tether pulling him away from her, and Tasha felt a cold prickle of intuition crawling up her spine. And you know that shit doesn’t lie.
“You sure?” she asked, looking at him, her body stiffening just a fraction. “’Cause they persistent. Might be important, bae.”
Juelz squeezed her a little tighter, his heart hammering against her, hoping she didn’t reach for the phone. He knew it was Shyann. She was probably calling to meet up again. Because right now? She was the only one who really held the remote to his life.
“Everythin’ handled, Tash,” Juelz lied, his voice a low, gravelly vibration against her neck. “I paid the connect back, so we straight.” He rubbed her shoulders. “Don’t worry ‘bout that phone. Fuck them.”
He reached out with one hand to put the phone in his pocket without looking at the screen, and gave Tasha a smile.
Tasha wanted to believe him. She wanted to drown in the fresh scent of his skin and the safety of his arms. But as she stood there, she couldn't stop thinking about the war in her body.
She was so busy worrying about the secret she was keeping that she didn't realize Juelz was standing in the middle of a fire, trying to keep the flames from touching her.
“I’ma go lay down for a bit,” Tasha said, pulling away gently. The reality of the news was finally settling in her bones, making her limbs feel like lead. “That visit drained me.”
Juelz watched her walk away, his eyes lingering on the way she moved, a little slower, a little more fragile than yesterday. The second she turned the corner toward the bedroom, his face dropped. The "half-smile" vanished, replaced by a look of pure, unadulterated rage.
He snatched the phone out of his pocket. Opening the text message that she sent.
Shyann (3:10 PM):
*video attachment*
He hit the play button on the screen. His face turned sour instantly. “Yes, Juelz. Umm…yessss.”
He froze. “I know this bitch didn’t recor—”
Shyann (3:14 PM):
Come meet me in 30 minutes. Don’t be late. 226 Column Lane. Hotel on the right. Room 069. Or I could just send it to bestie!
Shyann (3:15 PM):
*tongue emoji*
Juelz frowned; the grip that he had on his phone tightened. He looked toward the stairway where Tasha had disappeared. He could hear the bed creaking as she lay down. He could hear the soft sounds of her crying.
He grabbed his keys and walked out the front door, the click of the lock sounding like a gunshot in the afternoon air.
He was going to meet the devil. But this time, he wasn't sure if he was going to come back with his soul intact.
Juelz stepped into the hotel room already frowning. This was the last place he wanted to be. This wasn’t desire. This was an obligation, and he hated every second of it.
Shyann was already there, stretched across the bed like she owned the space. She wore a silk robe with red lingerie underneath as she strolled through social media.
“Ya late,” she said.
“I’m here, ain’t I?” Juelz replied flatly.
She slid off the bed, looking a little too comfortable. She let her robe drop once she got in his face. “You better be.”
He felt disgusted. Bile began to rise in his throat. He held his breath as he frowned, looking at her. “Tell me somethin’, Shyann?” He ran a finger across the bridge of his nose. “How the fuck you chewin’ on gum and yo breath still foul.” He wrinkled his nose. “You don’t smell that shit?”
She was down on her knees now fumbling with his pants, looking up at him. “Whatever, nigga.”
Juelz shoved her hands away, causing her to lose her balance.
“Man, watch out!” The words were rough, but his anger wasn’t just for her.
It was for himself also, for the corner he’d let himself get painted into.
Every second that he was in that room was like a knife getting placed in Tasha’s back, a price to pay for her future.
“I gotta go piss. I should piss in ya mouth. Hell, you wouldn’t know no difference.
” The cruelty was a shield, the only weapon he had left.
He was irritated, turned off. He knew Shyann was a nice-looking girl, but her breath was on another level. He turned and walked towards the bathroom, shaking his head. On the way, he emptied his pockets onto the nightstand. Keys. Cellphone. A gold Magnum wrapper. He was ready to get this over with.
Shyann was watching his every move. Once the bathroom door closed, her eyes darted to the gold wrapper, and something evil crossed her face.
She was moving fast, her hands trembled as she dug through her overnight bag, past her makeup, past her wallet, until her fingers landed on a small, sharp earring.
She was desperate. She turned her head to the bathroom, making sure Juelz wasn’t coming, and she fumbled with the condom wrapper, as sweat began to form on her forehead.
She jabbed a tiny hole into the gold foil, then once again to make sure it went through.
This was her only shot. She heard the water running from the sink, signaling that Juelz was done, and she shoved the earring under the pillow.
Her heart was racing, damn near about to jump out of her chest. This wasn’t a game. It was a gamble, and Shyann was all in.
He came out of the bathroom, his eyes wandering to hers. He placed her toothbrush and mouthwash on the sink and pointed to them. “Aye… come handle that mouth.”
She didn’t argue, just pushed herself off the bed, shoving past him toward the bathroom.
His cologne filled the space between them, making her want him even more.
When she was done, Juelz was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone.
She stepped between his legs, and started unbuckling his jeans.
He dropped his phone on the bed and leaned back to reach for the condom on the nightstand.
The wrapper crinkled in his hand as he tore it halfway open.
Then he froze. His eyes went to slits as he held the wrapper up to the light.
He turned the wrapper over, eyeing a tiny hole in the middle of the gold package. Shyann's plan had just blown up in her face. She tried to play it off as if nothing had happened. He stood up, belt buckle dangling.
“You must think I’m one of them lame ass niggas you used to fuckin’ with?”
“Huh?” she asked, looking like a deer caught in headlights.
“Bitch! If you want a slow muthafucka? You betta go get a fuckin’ turtle. You tryna trap me, Shyann?”
She was still trying to act confused. “Nigga, what the fuck you ‘talmbout?”
He snatched her up off her knees, grabbing her wrist and slamming her into the wall. His forearm was against her neck. She was gasping for air.
“Bitch, this shit ends to muthafuckin’ day. You hear me? Today!” his voice dropped low, through gritted teeth. “I’m done playin’ this lil game withcha foul ass.” He slammed her back against the wall. “I’ll tell Tasha myself, before I let you trap me.”
Her breath hitched. “Okay! Get your fuckin’ hands off me.”
He held the condom wrapper up between them, then smashed it on her forehead. “This right here? Just ended whatever the fuck you thought was happenin’.”
Shyann’s face hardened as the condom fell off her forehead. She lunged, shoving him with all her might. “You walk ya ass out that door, and watch how fast I send that video.”
Before he knew it, he backhanded her. “Do what the fuck you gotta do. Just know. Tasha don’t need that career, Shyann.
She wants it. So send it to whoever the fuck you need to.
” He stepped closer to her face. “And hear me clear… let that be the last time you put yo hands on me, or it gon’ be some furniture movin’ in this muthafucka. ”
Shyann gasped, still rubbing her cheek. “Nigga, I’ll call my brothers to whoop yo ass for putting your hands on me.”
Juelz didn’t even blink.
He pulled the Glock from his waistband like it weighed nothing, and let it hang at his side.
“What?! Make that call,” he said, face twisted with rage. “And get them niggas killed.” He tucked the Glock back like his word was law. “This shit over with. Don’t ever think you can play me.”
He grabbed his things and put them back into his pocket. “And stay the fuck away from my girl.” He headed towards the door without looking back. He wanted to say more, but he just slammed the door behind him. Shyann watched him, still frozen. She realized she might have gone too far.
She snapped out of it, running to the door, yelling out, “Nigga, fuck you! I don’t need you to fuck me. With that soft ass shit you call a dick. Gummy bear dick havin’ muthafucka!” She slammed the door. She grabbed her phone off the bed and did the one thing that she had been threatening to do.
Message sent…