Chapter 8 #2
She tipped her head to the side, studying him. “Back to your theory. It does seem worth pursuing.”
“Maybe. I mean, right now we know two men drugged and kept Fern in a makeshift cabin. Annie was found just wandering in the wilderness. Unless someone had a grudge against those two women…there’s not much there.”
A grudge had been his first thought, but neither woman moved in the same circles or had anything really in common. So he was back to someone—a gang, maybe—targeting woman who aged out of foster care.
“I bet you’ll figure it out,” Ava said.
“Why’s that?”
“You seem like a very thorough man, Chay. Someone who doesn’t give up until they get answers.”
He put his own bowl on the ground next to hers, stretching his arm on the bench behind them and drawing her closer to him.
“I am a very thorough man,” he confirmed, bringing his head closer to hers. “Right now I need to confirm that one kiss we shared wasn’t a fluke.”
“Fluke?”
“Yeah, did I imagine you tasted better than anything I’ve ever tasted before or am I making that up?”
“We better find out.”
He tasted like stew, Chay and the wildness of being outside. She burrowed closer to him, pulling her blanket with her as she shifted so she could deepen their kiss. He felt so right, tasted so good, and for the first time that day, she really felt like she wasn’t on edge.
A lot of that was down to their conversation. The way he’d just let her talk about whatever and shared his investigation with her. It felt normal. Something she hadn’t had since Greg had been killed. This quiet sharing was what had made her love Greg as much as she had.
They hadn’t been twins sharing all the same likes, but they had both just appreciated and listened to each other. She felt those tears that had refused to fall earlier burning her eyes, and she blinked, pulling back from Chay.
“I guess it wasn’t a fluke,” she said, but she could hear the thickness in her voice and knew that this kiss had stirred some emotions she hadn’t really ever processed fully.
“Guess not. You sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at her with that gaze that seemed to see all the way to her soul.
“Yes and no. The kiss was great and I haven’t…I haven’t felt this way about someone in a really long time, so it’s making me emotional.”
“Ah,” he said.
“Ah?”
“I’m not sure how to respond to that. I mean, I can tell the guy must have meant something to you, and I’m not so much of a masochist that I want to ask about him.”
“He did. We were engaged,” she admitted anyway.
“He broke it off?”
Why had she started this? Why? But given the day she’d had, maybe she should have expected this. “He died in a car accident.”
“Whoa. Okay. Now I feel like a dick.”
“No. Please don’t. It’s just you make me feel safe and comfortable and happy the way that Greg did. I wasn’t expecting that on our first date,” she admitted.
Chay looked at her for a long minute before pulling her to him and wrapping her in a big hug. He just held her tucked up against him, their blankets between them but the heat of his breath against the top of her head. He didn’t say anything, and she understood that.
This was their first date. Too much was happening between them too quickly. Or maybe at just the right pace, she thought, snaking her arms under his blanket to wrap them around his middle and hug him back.
They stayed like that for a few more minutes before he let her go and stood up. “Think we can make some coffee and eat the cake inside?”
“If we’re quiet. I think Gracie is really sleeping well. She’s been getting a solid six to seven hours a night in a stretch recently.” Very aware that she was talking about Gracie instead of discussing what she wanted.
But really, was there a way to ask a guy if he felt the same way about her without making it even more awkward than bringing up her dead fiancé? Probably not. Coffee and cake were safer.
Except after thinking about Fern and Annie and even her patient Alice, she realized that she didn’t always want to play things safe. There was no guarantee that she and Chay would have more dates or as much time as Ava wanted for this relationship to unfold.
Take risks.
It was funny, but her aunt Kate and her mom had both said those words to her, but for different reasons.
Her mom always wanted her take chances with her job, to look outside of the box, to follow her gut.
Well, she guessed Aunt Kate was the same, but she had thought that Ava needed to take risks in her personal life.
Kiss the guy she wasn’t sure was a forever man and go on dates with the ones that didn’t seem like a perfect fit.
“Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asked once she put the coffee on and he was getting the cake out.
“When?”
For a minute she almost said never mind and let it drop. Almost pulled back into herself but then remembered how challenging the day had been. How challenging her life had been…wasn’t it time to stop hiding from what she truly wanted?
Every instinct she had told her that Chay was worth the risk. So she took a deep breath. “When I said you made me feel good?”
Chay rubbed the back of his neck and turned the cake around on the plate she’d provided for him trying to do something but she couldn’t guess what.
“Chay?”
“Yes.”
“Because you don’t feel like that about me?
” she asked. Even as a child she’d always been one to keep probing until she got to the heart of whatever the issue was.
Right now she needed to know if he felt like she did about him or if he’d come just to see the baby again—maybe a motive.
Or if he’d just been curious, as he’d stated on the porch.
“No, Ava.”
Okay, well, that didn’t really answer her query. “What then?”
He shook his head. “Remember that kid with the grudge I mentioned?”
She nodded. His teenage self. “What about him?”
“He’s still a big part of who I am today. I think you should know processing emotions isn’t one of my strong suits. I can’t talk about my feelings, and I’m not really good at identifying them. If that’s not enough for you, I can respect that. But I’d miss you, Ava. I really like you.”
He sort of stalked over to her. Putting his hands on her shoulders so she had to tip her head back to look up at him. “Making you happy made me happy, too.”