Chapter 32
The bell above the Sweeter Things Bakery jingled as I walked in, shoulders hunched against the persistent drizzle that hung in the air. Scents of sweetened coffee and freshly baked bread filled the busy space, and I breathed in, trying to calm my racing thoughts.
Mina was already waiting at a corner booth with two steaming mugs of coffee and an assortment of pastries, and a weight lifted from my shoulders just seeing her.
In the short time we’d known one another, we’d gotten close, and I was so thankful for the friendship—even though she was leaving the country soon.
Her eyes scanned my face, and she sighed as I slid into the seat. “You look like hell warmed over.”
I let out a humorous laugh and pulled a donut covered with icing and sprinkles toward me, taking a bite and chewing slowly. My eyes closed as I let the sugar do its thing before wrapping my hands around the mug so the warmth could seep into my fingers, like it was my only source of comfort.
“I feel like it too.”
“I’m so sorry.” Mina pushed a croissant closer, and I smiled, grabbing several tiny creamers and adding them to my coffee. “I got so worried when you texted earlier. Why don’t you tell me what happened that got you into this state?”
This was why I was here. Why I braved the cloudy sky and chilly Monday morning rain, getting dressed in something not stained and attempting to cover the purple smudges beneath my eyes with concealer.
“Maverick and I fought Saturday. It was bad. Really bad.”
“You and Maverick?” she asked, tilting her head and resting her hands on the table. She drummed her fingers and studied me, like she was taking in my unwashed hair and chewed fingernails. “I hadn’t realized you two were an item.”
“Yeah. It was new and amazing and terrifying… until I ruined things with my inability to think before I speak.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as it seems. New relationships are always hard at the beginning. You’re constantly at war, wanting to show your true self and worried that the other person won’t accept you, flaws and all.”
“He knew my flaws, all right. Threw them back in my face and made me question so many things.”
“Well, that’s par for the course when you argue with someone.
Dredging up things better left in the past or pointing out flaws so you don’t have to deal with your own guilt.
” Mina shrugged her shoulders and reached across the table to break off a bite of my half-eaten donut.
“I’m horrible about bringing up things best left in the past when I argue with someone.
Just the other week, I was arguing with my younger brothers and reminded them that when they were toddlers, they would poop in the bathtub when our parents weren’t home and I was in charge. ”
“That’s oddly specific,” I said, grinning at the mental image of a younger Mina huffing with her arms crossed.
“Yes, well, the two of them ganged up on me, and I was losing ground. Now, enough small talk. Tell me what happened so we can come up with a game plan.”
“Right. Okay. Yeah,” I said, swallowing roughly and staring into my coffee. The shame of what I said came welling up inside of me, ready to spill out into the universe. If Mina was going to judge me, it was no less than what I deserved.
“I called him a coward, and he threw his deceased wife in my face.”
“Ouch. That’s brutal.” Mina’s brow furrowed, and she shook her head. Her straight black hair swished around her face, and she tucked it back behind her ears before motioning for me to continue.
“It was ugly,” I whispered, too ashamed to meet her eyes.
“I said he was using her memory as an excuse not to take a chance with me, and that I wouldn’t spend my life trying to measure up to her.
” My voice cracked, and I wiped a tear from my cheek.
“And then he left. Stomped away as I sat on the back porch steps, barely holding myself together.”
Mina reached across the table and squeezed my hand, grounding me. “What prompted the fight?”
“Nothing. Everything. I was already on edge from Dad inserting himself into things he shouldn’t, then Maverick all but accused me of leaving the country without telling him based on all those brochures left at the house.
” My voice was flat, and my fingers trembled as I took another sip of coffee, barely registering anything that was happening around us.
“I know I overreacted, but we had such an amazing night, and I thought we’d decided to give us a chance.
“Not to sound cliché, but the night we spent together…” I shook my head, gathering my wayward thoughts as I finally understood why I was so hurt.
“I’d never felt that kind of connection before, Mina.
Honestly, I don’t even know how to describe the feeling.
But I know it’s why I hurt so badly. I never imagined he would think such things. ”
“Was it self-sabotage?” she questioned, as if she knew what my next sentence would be.
“Without a doubt. But I just thought—I don’t know what I thought.”
I picked a cuticle on my thumb, not knowing what else to say.
Maverick’s guilt about his wife’s accident had to be soul-crushingly deep and a million times worse than what I felt right now.
And with a more vivid clarity than I had the other day, I understood why he felt the way he did.
Nothing excused the hurtful things we said, but another puzzle piece about him slid into place as I sat at the booth, thinking.
“Summer, listen to me. That man has scars so deep you can’t see the bottom, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for wanting more. You’re not selfish by asking him to let you in. That’s not cruel. That’s love. And loving someone who only loves you halfway is no way to live.”
Love? Was that why this hurt so much? Had I fallen so in love with this man that I couldn’t see a clear path forward?
My lips trembled, and I pulled my hand back, furiously wiping my face. Mina passed me a napkin, and I gave her a watery smile. “But what if I pushed him too hard? What if I broke us before we could even begin?”
“He knows you’re worth it—and I truly believe he does—which tells me he’ll come back. But today? Today is about you taking some much-needed relaxation before court tomorrow. You have to walk into that courtroom ready to kick ass with your head held high, right?”
I managed another faint smile and nodded. “You always know what to say.”
Her voice softened, but her gaze stayed fierce. “You’ve been fighting for this inheritance for months, and tomorrow is about getting what you deserve. Maverick will come around. He just needs a little extra time to get his ass in gear.”
“What am I going to do without you once you leave on your world adventures?” I asked, finishing the donut and eyeing the chocolate thing still sitting in the middle of the table.
Mina pushed it my way and took another sip of coffee, grinning as I cut the decadent treat in half and returned it to the center, where she snatched it up and took a bite.
“Don’t worry about sharing. I may have eaten a muffin while I was waiting for you.
” She winked, and I grinned, feeling a glimmer of happiness peeking out from my dreary mood.
“And I’ve been thinking about that. Mostly about how much I’m going to miss our friendship but also taking care of an issue we both have. ”
“What’s that?” I asked, not sure where she was going, but hoping it wasn’t an invitation to travel with her.
“How would you feel about subletting my condo? I know staying with your dad isn’t a long-term solution. This way, you don’t have to worry about finding a place, and I don’t have to worry about breaking my lease.”
I picked at the pastry, tearing it into small pieces before popping it into my mouth, and thought about her solution. It made sense. Now that Dad’s place was almost finished being renovated, and he could drive again, there wasn’t a reason for me to stay.
“That—” I started, tapping my foot on the tile and tilting my head. “That sounds perfect, actually.”
“I was hoping it would. It’s not like I’m taking my furniture to England, so you don’t have to worry about furnishing anything either.”
Mina’s place was a spacious one-bedroom, with an open floor plan and a gigantic kitchen. It was right outside the city limits, but close enough to Dad that I could get there quickly if needed.
It’s close to Maverick’s house as well. I stopped that train of thought before it went any further, unsure of where we even stood.
“Want to come over and take a closer look?”
“Yes. That sounds great.”
“Good,” she said, scooting out of the booth and stretching. “I’m going to get us to-go cups and a loaf of iced lemon pound cake and then we can skedaddle. I know the weather is crummy, but why don’t we stop at the county park by my place so you can see the area?”
“Sounds like a plan.” I followed her lead and stood, finishing the last of the pastry we’d started and wrapping the uneaten one in a napkin to save for later. She paid for the pound cake and squeezed my arm as we walked outside and to her car, deciding to ride together.