Chapter 37
Rain pattered softly against my kitchen window as I watched Summer, standing barefoot on the cool tile floor, preparing two cups of steaming hot chocolate in mismatched mugs.
I stepped inside quietly as Malibu huffed, shaking herself off, clearly unimpressed that she had to do her business in the rain.
My damp coat went on a peg outside the mudroom, and I toed my shoes off, not wanting to track in more water.
The afternoon was a blur once we left the courthouse, stopping for a late lunch and then heading back to my place.
As afternoon faded into evening, we moved around one another, filling the time with gentle touches and quiet words.
There was somehow too much and not enough to say, but the silence wasn’t oppressive.
Instead, it was reassuring, like coming home after being away for months.
She looked content in my space, wearing one of my oversized T-shirts and joggers.
The scene looked like it could have played out a thousand times before, and with astounding clarity, I knew this moment was what I wanted to strive toward.
Us—together. Not loud, dramatic declarations of love, but soft devotion and unwavering loyalty.
The love was still there—stronger than anything I’d ever experienced—but that word couldn’t express all that I felt. I’d lived my life as a man of few words, never needing to talk at length when a sentence would do.
But what scared me more than the depth of my feelings for her was that, for the first time, I wanted to find those words.
Wanted to share everything with her. From stories about growing up to telling her how proud I was when Miller compared me to Dad, everything became an open book I yearned to let her hold and casually flip through the pages to her heart’s content.
The faint smell of cinnamon and chocolate lingered in the air as Summer smiled, sitting down at the breakfast nook and pushing the sweet beverage toward me.
Not wanting to be so far away, I tugged her up from the chair and settled her on my lap, resting my head in that perfect spot between her neck and shoulder, where her scent was the strongest, bringing with it peace and clarity.
We both knew we were at a crossroads, ready to take the next step toward our future. The seriousness weighed on me like a wet blanket, but it wasn’t uncomfortable—more like a realization that this was something we were both ready to commit to.
The rain outside grew heavier, a steady percussion on the glass as we sat together, lost in our thoughts. I lifted my head, letting my gaze linger, memorizing her face.
“When I said you’d never understand what I was going through, I was out of line.” Summer met my eyes as I spoke, searching for something within their depths. I tilted my head, watching as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, worrying the delicate skin.
“No, you weren’t. I’ll never understand the pain of losing a spouse, and it was wrong of me to make light of how you felt. It scared me, Maverick. Thinking I’ll never measure up to her. And that wasn’t even half of it.”
She shook her head before adjusting herself on my lap and wrapping her hands around the mug. Bringing the rim to her lips, she took a sip, closing her eyes and sighing.
Hearing her worries loosened something in my chest. Not that I wanted her to be in pain, but because knowing I wasn’t the only one plagued with doubts made this seem even more real.
Her face told me there was more, but if our story had taught me anything, it was that she’d tell me when she was ready, and I shouldn’t assume anything.
“I never should have walked away from you,” I murmured, tightening my grip around her. My voice was almost lost under the sound of the storm outside, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk louder. “And there’s nothing to compare, Summer. Ever. You’re my future. I know that now.”
“We were both so angry.”
“Angry?” I scoffed, shaking my head and pressing a kiss to her neck. “It was so much more than that.”
Her hand stilled on the mug handle as she adjusted herself, turning to face me. “What else was it?”
I dug a knuckle into my eye until spots danced in front of my vision, knowing if this was the path I chose, the only way forward was to give her my truth. “A culmination of everything that had been building between us. And fear of this. You. Of how much I—”
My voice broke as I swallowed, trying not to fuck this up. “It was never in the plan to let someone in again. For the longest time, I refused to let anyone get close enough to rip my life apart a second time.”
Summer’s hand pressed against her chest as she listened to the rawness in my voice. With profound clarity, I spoke from the heart, hating that it took me almost losing her to discover how much she meant to me—and what I wanted.
“I thought keeping you at arm’s length would protect me. That our friendship was enough. But the more time we spent together, the more I knew I’d never be satisfied with us as friends. And today, sitting in that courtroom and watching you, I realized something.”
“What did you realize?” she asked, voice as quiet as mine.
I paused, focusing on the steady hum of the refrigerator and the rain pelting against the window, needing to quiet the negative noise in my mind.
“I’d already let you in, woman. I let you in a while ago, and it scares the hell out of me. Because losing you—” My voice cracked again as I struggled. “I don’t think I’d survive it.”
Summer pushed the mug away and cupped my face with her delicate hands. That gesture alone had my throat closing and my heart racing. Summer truly saw me—and that was fucking terrifying.
“I can’t promise that nothing bad will ever happen, Mav. But I can promise you I won’t run just because things get tough. I’ll stay. Always.”
I let out a shaky breath, as if something heavy and unyielding had finally cracked open inside of me. “Summer, I didn’t want to. Hell, I tried not to. But… fuck… I love you. So much it feels like saying those three words isn’t nearly enough.”
Her lips trembled and then turned into a smile as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I love you, Maverick. You’re my future, too.”
I pulled her tighter against me, holding her like she was both fragile and the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane.
“I’m so sorry things got so twisted and I called you a coward,” Summer said, pressing our foreheads together.
“You were right.”
“I was out of line.”
We sat like that until I felt a cold nose nudge my arm, reminding me it was well past Malibu’s dinnertime.
“I was so twisted up, thinking you honestly believed I’d leave or date someone behind your back. Instead of telling you my worries, I lashed out,” she said, as I felt her sweet, warm breath against my face.
I closed my eyes as we shared the same air, taking time to process her words. “We both did.”
“Yes, but we’ve come out the other side stronger, haven’t we?”
“We have,” I said, as she rose from my lap and reached out to clasp my hand as I did the same.
She melted into my embrace, laying her head on my chest as I closed my eyes, resting my chin on the top of her head. I caressed her back, tracing the contours of her spine before she lifted her head and stepped away with a watery smile.
“I was so scared,” she whispered, refilling our mugs from the small saucepan on the stove and then sitting back down, resting her elbows on the table.
She moved the hot chocolate toward her and smiled, bringing it to her lips and taking a sip. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t focused on her mouth, but her words had me stalling, not wanting to break the fragile calm that had enveloped us.
“I hate that I caused you to feel scared.”
“Thank you, but it wasn’t just our fight.”
“Then what was it?” I probed, reaching into the fridge to get Malibu’s supper.
Her tail thumped on the tile floor as she waited patiently, eyes darting between me and her empty bowl.
The raw food diet she was on did wonders for her health, but it wasn’t scoop and go, so I rushed through preparing her meal and adding the vitamins, so Summer could have my full attention.
“It was our connection. Something I hadn’t felt before. And I was terrified I’d ruined it.”
“Ruined it because of what was said during the argument?”
“Not exactly.” She shrugged, resting an elbow on the table and her chin in her hand.
I set Malibu’s dish on her mat and then turned, leaning against the counter and crossing my arms.
“Damn, this is embarrassing,” she added with a shaky chuckle after tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
That threw me for a loop, and I tilted my head, furrowing my brows.
I grabbed a dishtowel from the counter and slung it over my shoulder, knowing how messy Malibu got when her dinner included venison and egg yolk.
If Summer needed space to gather her thoughts, I’d putter around the kitchen until she was ready.
“It’s just—” her voice got higher, and she waved her arms as a delicious shade of pink crept up her neck and stained her cheeks.
I tossed the towel back on the counter and stood in front of her, pulling her from the kitchen chair. I tugged her into the living room, keeping her hand firmly in mine, and motioned for her to join me on the couch.
She sat, adjusting herself on the cushion, and when I went to the opposite end, she dragged her bottom lip between her teeth, looking down and not meeting my eyes.
I grabbed her left leg and settled it on my lap, taking off her sock and running my knuckles up the arch of her foot. She wiggled and moaned, the sound going straight to my cock as I massaged.
“I’ve been thinking about how I am with you,” she started, tilting her head back and laying it on the edge of the sofa.
“Well, that sounds ominous,” I teased.