Chapter 37 #2
She huffed this quiet little laugh before raising her head to smile.
“No. It’s just… I’ve always been told I’m too much.
Too direct. Too aggressive. Too assertive.
Too opinionated.” Her voice caught a little, and she tried to hide it by staring at the slow-moving ceiling fan.
“People—well, mostly my sisters and Trey—didn’t mean it as a compliment. ”
My expression softened as I focused on her pretty purple toes. “And you think having those qualities is a bad thing?”
“I don’t know.” She raised her arm, waving it around before shrugging and lowering it. “Sometimes I worry I come off too hard—like I bulldoze people without meaning to. I never wanted to do that with you, but when we fought, I felt like that was exactly what happened.”
A part of me wanted to find her ex and shake him until he snapped like a twig for making her feel that way, while the other wanted to make her lose all inhibitions, so she’d never doubt herself.
“You don’t bulldoze me,” I said as she arched her foot so her big toe poked me in the stomach. “If anything, you challenge me. You make me think. You make me listen harder and are not afraid to call bullshit.” I shook my head before continuing to massage her foot.
She chewed on her thumbnail before pulling it out of her mouth and rubbing her hands on the joggers. “You really mean that?”
“Of course.” I smiled. A groan escaped her lips as my fingers moved to her calf, the sound immediately quickening my pulse. “You inspire me. You’re fire, Summer, and I like the way you burn.”
A soft, disbelieving laugh slipped from her lips. “That’s kind of dangerous, you know? Getting burned?”
“Maybe,” I said, running a hand through my hair before pushing myself up higher on the couch and turning to face her. “But it’s worth it.”
She exhaled, and it made my heart settle into something warm and right. “You bring it out in me. The part that’s bold and alive. That doesn’t apologize for wanting things. You make me feel like it’s okay to be loud. To want more.”
“Woman. You be as loud and assertive as you want. Fuck. Tell me to drop to my knees, and the floor will quake with how fast I’ll fall.”
She laughed, and I joined her as the mood lightened, pressing down hard on her arch until she moaned and relaxed into my touch.
“That could be arranged,” Summer murmured as my mind raced a thousand miles an hour with the different fantasies we could act out.
“Just tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”
“This, Mav. This is what I want. Just honest open conversation. I have that with you. Not like how it used to be when every suggestion was met with an eye roll or snarky remark.”
“Suggestions?” I asked, wanting to call my brothers and pay that scumbag a visit for making my girl doubt herself. “Like in bed, or in general?”
“Both,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
“It wasn’t like I gave him instructions like a drill sergeant and demanded results.
When our marriage first hit a rough patch, I tried to think of things that would be new and exciting for us.
A little under the table fun at a dinner party.
Sex outdoors. Role playing. I even thought about asking for something dramatic, just to see how he’d react.
But nothing worked, and it left me feeling so inferior. ”
I grabbed her other foot, tugging the sock off and giving it the same treatment. “What a waste. Those all sound like fun.”
“Right?” she exclaimed, throwing both hands in the air. “It wasn’t like I asked for a ginger root up my butt or anything. Just a few little options to spice things up.”
I choked on air, sputtering to catch a breath between fits of laughter. She looked at me with wide eyes, propping herself on her elbows before breaking out into a feral grin and following me over the ledge and giggling.
“Following that epic failure, I suggested counseling and was rebuffed once again. After that, how could I not think our failure was my fault? That’s when I gave up. Maybe I forced his hand.”
I stopped my ministrations and gripped her calf, pulling until she sat up. “That’s bullshit, Summer. You didn’t force his anything. To me, it sounds like you tried until you couldn’t anymore.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip and turned toward the kitchen, watching Malibu scarf up the rest of her dinner and then trot into the living room and jump onto my recliner. I side-eyed her, and she tilted her head, yawned, and laid down.
Summer was quiet after that, and I took the time to really think about what she’d said, insecurities and all.
“I’m going to say two things that are completely independent of each other.”
“Ooookay,” she said, stretching the word into several syllables.
“I never want you to feel you can’t talk to me. About your day, about how you’re feeling—about anything you want. Bitch about your period or a coworker you hate. And if there’s ever a time you feel like I’m not listening, tell me.”
“That’s… Wow. Thank you.”
I nodded, hoping it was the right thing to say. “Now, I am completely satisfied with our sex life. You blew my mind, woman, and I look forward to finding and memorizing all your sighs and moans. But if there’s ever something you want to try, or want me to do differently, just ask. Can you do that?”
“I think that’s a completely reasonable request.”
“Good,” I growled, letting my hand travel up the inside of her thigh until she squirmed, trying to get me to move closer to her center. “Now that we have that settled, I’d very much like to take this conversation to the bedroom.”
She giggled, the sound music to my ears as I moved her legs off the couch and stood, helping her do the same.
“I’d very much like that, Maverick.”
“As you wish,” I growled, trailing one hand up her arm and gripping the back of her neck. “But there’s one question I need to ask you first.”
I tugged her down the hall and into my bedroom, rolling my eyes at Malibu, who followed. My door stayed cracked as she walked toward my bed before turning and giving me a coy smile. “What did you want to ask me?”
Keeping my eyes focused on hers, so she’d understand the seriousness of my request, I breathed deep and said, “Move in with me, Summer.”