Now
VIOLET
“I don’t remember if I told you this before, but you were my first kiss,” I say.
“And you were mine,” he reveals with a straight face. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I don’t remember jack-shit about sophomore year, except for the time I spent with you.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
He deadpans. “I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm right now.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that the way I did. I know high school wasn’t easy for you.”
He leans back in the chair, crossing his arms over his broad chest and staring at the basketball hoop to the right of him. I scoot closer to him, barely touching his face.
He jumps, standing in front of me. “Please don’t touch me.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
Ugh, I can see the hurt in his face, and it’s killing me.
I deserve to be treated like this. The fact that he’s hearing me out doesn’t make any sense to me. I would’ve immediately shut myself down if I was him.
He opens his mouth. “This was a mistake. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I get up, following him as he walks over to the other side of the arena. “Gray, please don’t do this.”
He whips his body around, but he doesn’t look me directly in the eyes. “Do you know how much it hurts seeing you here after all these years? I thought the wound healed, but it didn’t. It’s raw and wide open. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did.”
Tears line the inner rims of my eyelids.
“I know and telling you I’m sorry won’t make a difference, so I’m not going to apologize to you.
” I pause. “Instead, I’m going to walk away and never come back.
I won’t ask Noah to update me about you.
I won’t bother you ever again.” I turn and walk away from Grayson, but I stop short because there’s something I need to tell him before I never see him again.
I swivel back around to meet his gaze. “There’s a reason why I’ve had Noah update me for the past six years.
It’s because I haven’t stopped thinking about you.
If you think cutting me out of your life forever is good for you, then I understand.
I care about you too much. All I want is for you to be happy. ”
Grayson doesn’t move. In fact, he’s standing in the same position I walked away from him in.
“I hope your dream of being drafted into the NBA comes true. I know it will because you are the most talented basketball player I’ve ever seen.
Noah would send me videos of you practicing, and it made my heart sing every time.
There’s a reason why you’re captain of our college’s basketball team.
You’re a natural leader. You always were. ”
His head drops down, and now he’s staring at the floor.
Wrap it up, Violet. He definitely wants you to leave.
“Honestly, I hope all of your dreams come true. You’ve been through so much. You deserve the world.” Before I turn my head around, I have to say the words I never thought I’d have to say to him again. “Goodbye, Gray.”
As I walk away, Dani peeps her head out from behind the bleachers.
I end up behind the bleachers on the opposite side where Dani is where Grayson can’t see me.
The tears that were lining the rims of my eyes are pouring out now. I can’t control them at all. Burying my face into my hands, I feel my entire body shaking. I drop to the floor, landing on my ass.
I look up and see Dani sneak out of the arena before I can say anything to her.
I’m so confused. I thought she said she wouldn’t leave me unless we needed to be alone. I guess she thinks this is the right time to leave and for us to be alone.
A large, humanlike shadow appears on the ground in front of me, but I don’t turn around.
“Vi,” Grayson says.
I bend my legs, bringing them up to my chest. “Leave me alone.”
“You know I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can. You’re choosing not to. Do you know that doors can be used to walk into and out of a room?”
He sits down in front of me, criss-cross applesauce.
I shift my body the opposite way, so I’m staring at the basketball court. A strong hand gently lands on my shoulder, which makes my body shudder and my breath hitch. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” he asks, confusion laced throughout his tone.
“I don’t want you touching me.”
“Now you know how it feels.”
“What are you talking about?” I turn back around, facing him and meeting his gaze.
His dark brown eyes are staring at me so intensely, I can feel them deep in my bones.
Am I a teenager again?
“Do you really think I forgot about you? You have the kind of face that sticks with someone and appears in their dreams at night. I see your face everywhere I go. I can’t escape you, Violet. No matter how hard I try. You’re always there. And there’s this string trying to tether me to you.”
I feel my pulse speeding up like a race car. I drop my head, blinking my eyes multiple times in a row as my lips quiver. “You’re right. This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here and interrupted your life. You can pretend I was never here in the first place.”
Pushing up off the hard ground, I stand up.
He inches towards me, but I walk away from him before he can get any closer to me.
He huffs loudly. “Fine. Go ahead. Walk out that door. I knew you’d come back into my life just to break my heart all over again.
And you were here for what, thirty minutes?
Imagine what you could do to me if you were here for several hours.
” He releases a deep breath. “So, yeah, do what you do best. Run away. It’s not like you haven’t done that before. ”
I storm over to him. “Do you know how hard it was for me to come here? I knew you’d react like this.
And you have every right to, but don’t invalidate my feelings, so you can make yourself feel better.
” I let out a broken breath. “I haven’t talked to Blake in six years.
Do you know why? Because I fucking hate him for what he did to you…
and us. I don’t talk to my mother anymore because she didn’t want to establish a relationship with me.
My father is wrapped around my mother’s finger. They never cared about me. You did.”
He’s listening intently and watching every part of my face move.
I continue my train of thought. “Yeah, the Prescott family mansion might be pretty on the outside. Oh, but let me tell you, it’s ugly on the inside.
I’m not telling you this, so you can pity me.
I’m telling you all this because I’m not perfect.
I have my issues, and I’m doing my best to work on them.
We don’t hide anything from each other.”
“No, that’s what we used to do,” he says with so much pain written all over his face. “Do you know that I haven’t fallen in love with another woman? I haven’t been in a serious relationship because I know it would never compare to the relationship we had together.”
I freeze, stunned by the admission. “You haven’t?”
“Have you?”
I gently shake my head.
“I have been in relationships with other women, but most of them were short-lived.”
“Okay, I didn’t ask for your relationship history, so I’m going to go now.”
I walk away from him, but he chases after me and stops in front me just as I’m about to push open the doors.
“Violet,” he whispers. “I’m not letting you walk out that door until we finish this conversation. I don’t care if the arena closes. We’re not leaving until we fully rehash the past. It’s going to be painful for both of us, but I don’t care.”
“Yes, Grayson. I’m walking out this door.”
“No, you’re not.”
I clear my throat. “Yes I am, and you’re coming with me. Do you want to continue this at my apartment or yours?”
He takes a minute to make a decision. “Let’s go to my apartment.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t be surprised if Noah and Xander are there.”
“I don’t care.”
I wait for Grayson to grab his gym bag from the locker room, sitting at one of the tables in front of the arena.
Zoning out, I can’t help but think about how stupid I was coming here. I didn’t think he’d forgive me, and I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I thought I could explain myself and tell him why I did what I did, but it’s proving to be quite the challenge. Did I really think it would be that easy?
Noah’s right. I should’ve thought through this idea more than I did.
I dove head-first, just to burn myself in the exact same way I did to Grayson.
What was I thinking?
“Let’s get out of here,” Grayson says as he walks towards me.