Now
GRAYSON
I don’t think Violet truly understands the gravity of this situation.
It’s rather simple, actually.
I’m still mad at her, but I haven’t stopped thinking about her. None of it makes any sense, which means it’s not simple at all. It’s complicated as hell.
I drop my bag onto the table, pulling out a graphic tee. “Put this on.”
“No.” Her face is a blank canvas that an artist would have all the creative freedom they could possibly want to create a masterpiece on.
“Put. This. On.”
“Why?”
“Can you please put the damn shirt on?”
She rolls her eyes and grabs the shirt from me, throwing it on super fast. “Happy now?”
“Ecstatic.” Sarcasm is embedded all throughout my voice.
She’s wearing my vintage tee with a graphic of the rock band, Queen, plastered on the front. I can’t help but stare at her because she looks so good in it.
This isn’t fair.
“What?” she asks, narrowing her eyes a little bit.
“Nothing.”
When we make it to my black pickup truck, she looks like she’s about to have a heart attack. “You still drive the truck?”
I nod. “Uh-huh.”
She curls her fingers into her hands, digging her nails into her skin. “Gray, I can’t.”
“You can’t do what?”
“I can’t get in the truck.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t.” Her face glistens from the tears steadily streaming from her eyes. She crosses her arms into the shape of an X, both of her hands landing on her shoulders. “Don’t make me get in there.”
I walk over to her, grabbing her hands with mine.
“Unfortunately, I don’t have another option as far as transportation goes.
” I pause for a brief moment. “Violet, you are the strongest person I know. You’ve been through hell and back.
I have to admit, it was pretty brave of you to come here after all these years.
And I’m sorry for being a dick to you. You don’t deserve that. ”
“Do you know what happened the last time I was in your truck?”
“I don’t, but we don’t need to talk about that right now. Okay, Angel?”
Wow, I don’t know where that came from.
She sniffles, another tear trailing down her cheek. “I’ve missed hearing that come out of your mouth.”
“You’ve missed hearing what?”
“I’ve missed hearing you call me Angel.”
I can’t lie and say I didn’t miss calling her that either.
The nickname makes this wave of nostalgia crash into me.
It takes me back to the good times we shared together.
It makes me miss what we used to have, and maybe we can have that again in the not-so distant future.
Although, it’s going to take time for me to trust her again.
Getting into the driver’s side of the truck, I look behind me to see that Violet is still standing there with her arms folded over her chest.
I turn on the engine, rolling down the window and peeking my head out. “Please get in the truck.”
“There’s no way you’re getting me in there.”
Wanna bet?
I get out of the truck, rushing over to her and picking her up.
“Grayson!” she shouts, hitting my back. “Put me down!”
Planting her down on the step of the truck, I put my hands on her waist to balance her, so she doesn’t fall backwards.
She sits on the passenger’s seat, grunting and crossing one leg over the other. She doesn’t look at me at all. She’s staring at what’s in front of her.
Once I get back in the truck, silence swirls around us for a hot moment until I decide to say something. “I’m sorry.”
She whips her head towards me, blinking her eyes like crazy. “I told you I didn’t want to be in here.”
“And I told you I don’t have an alternative mode of transportation.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. Just drive.” She turns away from me, looking out the window.
I lick my lips. “Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment? I shake my head. “Violet, we’re not twelve years old anymore.”
I wait for her to answer me, but she doesn’t. She’s insistent on not speaking to me.
“Fine, you want to play this game? The winner decides what we get to talk about next when we get to the apartment.”
I shift the gear into reverse, backing out of the parking space and driving off.
We spend the fifteen minute car ride to my apartment consumed by silence, and I hate it so much.
Yes, I’m still mad at her, but it’s so much worse when she's mad at me. The way she completely ignores me like I’m not even there hurts so damn much.
Since I started our conversation first, I let her have this win.
“I hate it when you don’t talk to me. I’m sorry I made you get in the truck the way I did. I really am.” I inhale and exhale slowly. “Yes, I know I lost the game, but I don’t give a shit. Violet, will you please look at me?”
She gradually turns her head towards me, anger rolling off her body in waves. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
We turn into Oceanside, my apartment complex.
I find a parking space right in front of my building, which is a rare occurrence because the closest parking spaces are always full.
She studies the building, changing the course of our conversation. “So this is where you live, huh?”
“Yeah, I live here with Noah and Xander.”
“How do you like living with them?”
I shrug my shoulders. “It’s great, but I know Noah hates living with Xander and I sometimes.”
She chuckles. “Why do you say that?”
“We like to wrestle with each other a lot. Just your average brotherly love, even though we’re not blood-related.”
Her chuckle gradually turns into a belly laugh, and I’m sure the residents of Oceanside can hear it.
Man, I missed hearing her laugh.
I missed being the one to make her laugh.
Most of all, I missed her.
And I hate myself for missing her because she betrayed me. She broke my heart, but it’s hard to pretend I stopped loving her because I haven’t. I don’t know why it makes me feel guilty.
How do I forgive the girl I’ve loved since I was a teenager after what she did to me?
Unbuckling my seatbelt, I run over to her side and open the door. I make it onto the step and reach over Violet.
Her eyes move from side to side. “What are you doing?”
“I’m unbuckling your seatbelt…” I study her face. “Unless you want to stay in this truck forever. It’s up to you.”
“Yeah, there’s no way I’m staying in here.”
Once she’s released from her seatbelt, I stick my hand out. She slides her hand into mine, speeding my heart rate up to a million miles an hour.
She steps down onto the ground, a small smile growing on her face before it quickly disappears. “Thanks.”
Violet walks away from me and heads underneath my apartment building. After I grab my gym bag from the back of the truck, I sling it over my shoulder. I look back, seeing her standing by the staircase and staring at the floor.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi.”
Gesturing to her to follow me, we walk up to the third floor and make it to the front door of my apartment. I pull out the key from my back pocket, unlocking the door and heading inside.
Violet trails behind me, her eyes scanning her surroundings.
Throwing my key on the kitchen table, I drop my gym bag on the floor. I watch Violet as she looks around the apartment.
I can’t believe the love of my life is in my off-campus college apartment right now. This isn’t real. I must be dreaming.
I pinch the skin on the top of my hand. “Ow.”
The corner of her lips curve up. “Why are you pinching yourself?”
“You being here doesn’t feel real.”
“Can I sit down somewhere?”
I push a slew of papers off the sofa onto the floor. “Yeah.” I point to the sofa.
She sits down, and I sit opposite her with a decent amount of space between us.
Why can’t I stop staring at her?
I have my reasoning behind why I call her Angel. It’s not just because she’s ethereal and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
When we were younger, I learned that not all angels are created equal. Violet may look innocent, but appearances can be deceiving.
“I’m confused. You were annoyed that I was here, and you wanted me to leave. You wanted me out of your life for good. And now, I’m sitting here in your apartment because you want to continue talking about the past. What do you really want from me, Gray?”
I want to know the truth.
“It’s pretty self-explanatory.”
“Please feel free to elaborate.”
“I want to know where it all went wrong. I need to know, and I want to understand why you did what you did.”
“Okay.” She closes her eyes, her mouth parting open. “Where did we leave off?”
“Halloween party. Sophomore year.”
“Well, we’re going to fast forward to junior year.”
I squint my eyes. “Why?”
“You’ll find out why soon enough.”