Now
GRAYSON
I love that Violet has no idea what we’re making.
The only time she’s ever seen me cook is when Noah’s mom, Laura, would host Hanukkah dinner.
This is the first time we’re cooking together. Just the two of us.
I loved cooking with Laura. She taught me a lot about it, and she’s the reason I fell in love with it. I loved how I was able to take a bunch of ingredients and make something amazing out of them.
As I got older, I’d experiment on my own with food.
When Noah and I moved into the apartment, he put me in charge of cooking because he knows I’m better at it than he is. Although, I have to say he’s gotten better, and it’s all because of Dani.
Honestly, I’m really happy Noah has Dani because he needs someone in his life who anchors him and takes care of him. He deserves to be happy, especially after the nightmare he went through this past summer.
“What do you need me to do first?” Violet asks, pulling me out of my daze.
“There’s a pan underneath there.” I point to the cabinet next to the stove on the bottom.
She walks over to the cabinet, opening the door. “How many pans do you have in here?”
“Too many.”
“Is there a specific pan you want me to get?”
“The one on the top is fine.”
“I’m just asking because I know how you are.” She grabs the pan and places it on the stove.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, I don’t know if you’re still like this, but you had certain ways of doing things. And if anybody messed with Grayson Becker’s system, they knew to run because they would never hear the end of it.” She stares at me, waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. “Am I right, or am I wrong?”
I sigh, rolling my eyes. “You’re right.”
“I knew it!” She raises her voice.
“Is it so bad to want things done a certain way?”
“No, but it is when it has to be done the Grayson way.”
“Are you kidding me? You have a name for it?”
“I just made that up right now.”
“Ah, I see.” I smile, studying her from head to toe.
I can’t get over how beautiful she looks in my T-shirt.
If there’s one thing about Violet, it’s that she looks effortlessly beautiful in everything. I remember how I always used to tell her she never needed to wear makeup because she was naturally beautiful.
She’s more stunning than I remember. It’s confusing as hell because part of me is still angry at her for what she did. At the same time, there’s another part of me that missed her so much.
I just hope I have the chance of finding out the truth about what happened from her.
“What are you doing?” Violet asks, her lips flattening into a straight line.
“Oh, nothing.”
“You’re staring.” A smile slowly spreads across her pink lips.
Shit, she caught me. Not like you were being sneaky about it, man. Um, hello, say something. Don’t just fucking stand there, you idiot.
Blinking my eyes rapidly, I decide to change the subject. “Um…can you get a cutting board from the cabinet next to the fridge?”
“Yeah, are they in the bottom one?”
I nod, licking my lips.
She walks over to the bottom cabinet, which happens to be right in my view. After she gets out a medium-sized cutting board, she sets it onto the counter next to the sink. “What’s next?”
“Can you go into the cabinet next to the fridge? The one on the top. There should be a bunch of small glass bowls. We just need one.”
“Got it, Captain.”
Oh, fuck.
“What did you just call me?”
“Captain.” She stares at me, trying to figure out why I’m so caught off guard by the nickname. “You know because you’re captain of the basketball team.” She hits me in the arm. “I don’t know what the hell happened to you. You used to be fun.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know, I’m a blast. Noah and Xander can back me up on that.”
“Oh, really?” She furrows one eyebrow as the other one raises up.
“Want to make a bet, Prescott?”
She tilts her head on a slight angle, pursing her lips a little. “What do you have in mind, Becker?”
You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.
I’m being hypnotized by her eyes and lips, just like I used to be.
Snap out of it, bro. Remember what she did to you.
“If I win, you have to play a game of basketball with me.”
“You know I suck at basketball, right?”
“I don’t make the rules. I just follow them.”
She scoffs. “When have you ever followed the rules?”
“I’ve changed a lot since the last time you saw me.” I breathe out my nose.
“Right, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Well, I told you what I would get if I win. What about you?”
“Um, if I win, you have to be in one of my Instagram posts.” She breaks into laughter, echoing against the concrete walls.
“Hell no, not happening.”
“Rules are rules. You can’t back out of this now.”
I shut my eyes. “Do I at least get to find out what post I’m going to be a part of?”
She sucks her lips in. “Nope, it’s a surprise.”
“Ugh, you’re such a pain in the ass.” I grab a knife and open the plastic container of parsley, grabbing a few sprigs and placing them onto the cutting board. When I start chopping, I feel Violet’s blue eyes staring at me. “Can I help you?”
“I forgot how mesmerizing you are in the kitchen.”
If she keeps saying things like this to me, this friendship isn’t going to last long at all. I know I sound like a broken record, but it’s true. My heart aches for her in a way that’s making me all-out flustered.
“I never knew you thought that.”
“Well, now you do.”
After the parsley is chopped, I move it over to the top corner of the cutting board with the knife. “Can you open the stick of butter, cut a quarter of it, and place it into the small bowl you took out?”
She doesn’t answer and simply follows my instructions. Once the butter is in the small bowl, she places it on the microwave-safe plate. “Where are your—”
I hand her a lid, so the butter doesn’t splatter all over the microwave.
“Lids for the microwave,” she finishes her thought. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure.” I bow, causing her to laugh. “Oh, shit. We need bread. Can you get the loaf of wheat bread out of the freezer?”
“Why do you keep your bread in the freezer?” she asks, opening the freezer door.
“It’s something Laura taught me. She told me it keeps it fresher longer.”
“Noah’s mom taught you that?”
“She taught me a lot of things.”
“I know. I was there for most of those lessons.” She takes out four slices of bread, laying them on two paper plates. She rests her elbows on the counter, her eyelashes fluttering. “What now?”
“The butter needs to be softened.”
“Okay, how do I do that?”
“I can show you.” I gesture for her to come over to the microwave, opening the door to put the butter and lid inside. “See this?” I point to the soften butter setting.
She nods. “Yeah.”
“That’s what you press.”
“Oh, that’s cool!”
“You’re like a kid in a candy store.”
“It’s always an exciting experience when it comes to learning new things for me. I learn new things every single day.”
“So do I.”
“Tell me something new you learned today,” she politely demands.
Please don’t say something dumb.
Leaning against the counter with my arms crossed in front of my chest, I take a moment to figure out how I’m going to respond to her.
I got it.
“I learned that my best friend and my ex-girlfriend have been secretly talking to each other about me behind my back for the past six years.”
This is going to get old real fast.
She stands there, a blank expression taking over her face. Her eyes are glassy and reflecting the artificial light in the kitchen. “I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”
“Not until I get past it.” I wait a minute until I say something. “What’s something new that you learned today?”
“I learned you were convinced that our relationship wasn’t real.” She huffs. “Do you know how much it hurt to hear you say that? It sounded like you regretted all of it. Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you regret kissing me at the Halloween party during sophomore year? Do you regret being with me? Do you regret the two years we spent together?”
Well, there goes the lighthearted rhythm we had. Now, it’s overshadowed by broken hearts and an overwhelming sense of anguish and pain.
“Why would you ask me these questions?”
“Answer the damn questions, Gray!”
“I can’t!” I shout back at her.
“What do you mean you can’t?” She waits for me to answer her, but nothing slips out of my mouth.
“That tells me all I need to know. I thought we could be mature enough to talk through everything and that we could be somewhat friendly with each other, but I was wrong.” She brings her hands up to her mouth, covering it.
“I shouldn’t have come back here with you. ”
“Don’t do this,” I say.
She rolls her eyes, nostrils flaring. “Don’t do what?”
“Fuck!” I shout. “I don’t know.”
Storming away from me with her purse in hand, Violet ends up in front of the bathroom. I follow her, and she can’t even look at me. No, she doesn’t want to look at me. Her body shakes as she falls onto the floor.
Before I can sit next to her, she sticks her hands out. “Don’t. Touch. Me.” When she regains her balance, she stands up and rushes into the bathroom.
The door slams shut, and I think my heart just broke all over again.