Now
VIOLET
Since my mom didn’t care about me, I confided a lot in Laura, Noah’s mom and my boss at Sweet & Salty. I still do. She came as moral support when I got diagnosed with PMOS, which used to be called PCOS.
I remember feeling this incredible weight being lifted off my shoulders because it all made so much sense. All the horrible cystic acne I had as a kid and the way I had no idea when I’d get my period because they were so irregular happened because of my hormonal imbalance.
I’m so grateful for my medication because my cycle is regulated and my cramps are virtually nonexistent.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I take it out to see a text from Dani on my lockscreen.
Dani
i’m pulling into oceanside now
Me
I’m hanging in front of the guys’ building
Dani
okay
A black SUV pulls up in front of us, but it’s not Dani. It’s Noah and Xander.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss Violet Prescott.” Noah grins at me as he hops out of the SUV.
“Haha, you’re so funny,” I say.
Xander walks up to me, sliding his hand into mine and pulling me in for a hug. “It’s been a long time, VP.”
Five minutes later, a blue Honda CRV pulls up in front of all of us. The window rolls down, allowing me to see Dani’s face. “Hi, boys.” Her eyes land on Noah.
I think I just gagged a little bit.
Dani looks at me. “Hey, Violet.”
“Hi,” I reply to her.
She pulls into a parking space next to us, taking her sweet time to come out of the car. Noah walks his way over to the driver’s side, while I’m standing in between Grayson and Xander.
“Can I help you?” Dani asks Noah, flipping her hair.
“I don’t think that’s how a girlfriend greets their boyfriend,” Noah says.
“Oh my God, I think I’m going to gag again,” I say to Grayson and Xander.
I get a laugh from both of them. Turning towards Grayson, I look at him and smile before returning back to the Noah and Dani show.
“Oh, shut up.” Dani rolls her eyes at Noah.
Noah backs away from the window, so Dani can get out. When she does, she locks her car and walks around to the front of it.
Noah boxes her in. “You’re such a pain in the ass.”
I’d give anything for Grayson to do this to me. Hello, what’s wrong with me?
She rolls her eyes. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
“Stop doing that,” Grayson says to me.
My eyes move from side to side. “What?”
“You’re going to make me gag.”
“Oh c’mon, guys. They’re two people in love. Don’t you guys know what that feels like?” Xander asks, smiling.
Grayson and I swing our heads in Xander’s direction with dirty looks written all over our faces.
“Shit, sorry,” he says.
Noah and Dani walk over to us, hand in hand.
I cannot get over how weird it is to see them holding hands and kissing. I’m so used to them yelling at each other, but things change. I’m happy for Noah though because he has someone like Dani to take care of him and love him.
“Let’s get you home,” Dani says to me.
“Okay,” I respond.
“See you tomorrow, Angel,” Grayson says.
“See you tomorrow, Captain.” I wink at him, smiling up a storm.
“Take me with you,” Noah tells us.
Dani shakes her head, flattening her lips. “Not tonight, Lover Boy.”
“Whatever you say, Princess.”
“That’s right.” She kisses him for what feels like an eternity, but in reality it’s more like a few seconds.
I get into Dani’s car, securing my seatbelt and placing my purse in front of me on the floor.
“I love you!” Noah shouts as Dani sits down in front of the steering wheel.
“I love you, too,” she says as she rolls her eyes and smiles.
Glancing out the window, my eyes link with Grayson’s as a smile slowly spreads across my lips. His dark brown eyes are melting me like marshmallows heating up over an open flame.
We roll our windows up, and I turn my head to face forward. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath in and out.
“Hey, I’m sorry I left you at the arena earlier. I thought it would be better if I left you two alone. I know it contradicts when I said I’d be there for you no matter what,” Dani says.
I whip my head in her direction. “Look, I would never do that to you. If you told me you wanted me to be there for you, I’d be there. No questions asked. It’s okay though.”
“I know.” She pauses. “What a great start to our friendship, huh?”
Releasing a breathy laugh, I nod. “Yeah.”
She shifts the gear into reverse, and we’re off.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I raise one of my eyebrows. “Talk about what, exactly?”
“C’mon, Violet, you know what I’m talking about.”
A lightbulb goes off in my head. “Oh, right. Sorry, I guess we can talk about it.”
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“It’s like no time has passed between us, but at the same time, all the time in the world flew by. Does that make any sense?”
“Yeah, it does. Take Noah and I for example. When I saw him this summer, it had been five years since I last saw him. What you said is how I felt about seeing him again. It’s like no time has passed, but it did.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” she says.
“Was it weird seeing Noah after all those years?”
“Yes and no. Time is such a weird concept with things like this. I know our situations are totally different, but I feel like out of the people I’ve talked to about this, you’d understand it the most. Noah and I changed as individuals.
I can see you’ve changed from the last time we talked. Grayson has changed, too.”
I nod, smiling. “I don’t think we change.
We grow up. Life loves to throw so many things at us until it thinks we can’t handle anything anymore, but we rise above the occasion and become stronger because of those shitty experiences.
Those experiences lead us to the good ones that we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. ”
Wow, who am I?
Dani’s face is blank, attempting to process what I explained to her. Awkward silence takes over the car for the rest of the drive home.
After a ten minute drive, we pull into a parking space diagonally in front of my apartment building at Hightower.
“You sounded a lot like Noah back there,” Dani says as she unbuckles her seatbelt. “He loves to give out words of wisdom about life.”
I chuckle, releasing myself from the seatbelt. “Why does that not surprise me?”
“Alright, that’s enough about me. Tell me what happened with Grayson.”
“We might be here for a while.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Lay it all on me.”
“After you left, we decided to go back to the guys’ apartment to talk about things.
We updated each other on where we are in our lives now.
I forgot how easy it is to talk to him. It made me realize how much I missed it and how much I missed him.
It was strange to go back to the past and talk about when we were together.
” I clear my throat. “He told me he doesn’t want me to leave him again. ”
Dani’s eyes grow wide. “Wow, that’s a lot of information to digest. What did you tell him?”
“I told him we should be just friends.”
“How did he take that?”
“He took it pretty well. I think we’re on the same page as far as rushing back into a relationship goes. We’re not ready for it at all.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
I nod. “Sure.”
“I completely understand why you’re not ready to jump back into a relationship with him and vice versa.
You both have wounds that aren’t fully healed yet.
See where this friendship with him goes, and reevaluate it a few months from now.
I’m sorry if I’m overstepping or making assumptions, but it’s the truth. ”
“I’m so confused,” I say.
“What are you confused about?”
“Everything.”
She nods slowly, pursing her lips out. “Love is confusing as hell. One minute you feel like you’re living in a romance novel, and the next, you realize this is real life. Sometimes the shit that happens in romance books doesn’t happen in real life.”
“It happened to you though. And in a way, it happened to me, too.”
“I guess the universe thinks we’re special. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve it.”
“Don’t deserve what?” I turn my body sideways, sitting criss-cross applesauce with my eyes on Dani’s face.
“Having someone who loves me unconditionally and enjoys taking care of me.” She breathes out through her nose.
“I’ve been an only child all my life, which has made me painfully independent.
I got so used to taking care of everybody else and not allowing anybody to take care of me.
” She catches her breath. “Violet, you’ve known Grayson since you were kids.
You became friends. And somewhere along the way, it became something much more.
What happened between you two is what so many people dream of having.
It’s safe to say what you and Grayson had is nothing short of a romance-book-worthy kind of love. ”
Great, here come the tears again.
My body shakes. “Ugh, I’m such an idiot. How did I think that being friends with him was a good idea? Why do I overthink every little thing I do?” I wipe away the tears falling out of my eyes with my fingertips.
“You’re talking to the queen of overthinking. It’s the absolute worst. Overthinking is like an extension of anxiety. Our minds never shut off and keep putting us through endless cycles of bullshit.”
My mouth gapes open as I clap my hands. “Yes, exactly.”
“You’re not an idiot, by the way. I think being friends is a smart way to ease back into whatever you two had in the past, but with less baggage.
That is if you both decide to get back together at any point in the future.
” She shakes her head, scrunching her nose.
“Sorry, less baggage wasn’t the right phrase to use. ”
“It’s okay. It’s not about me letting Grayson back into my life that I’m worried about. It’s him letting me back into his life. What if I hurt him again? I don’t know what I’d do if that happens.”
“It won’t. You need to tell yourself it’s going to be okay. Again, you’re talking to someone who has constant battles with their mind. You have to fight until you win. You can’t let the anxious thoughts win, Violet. Allow yourself this victory.”
I tilt my head at a slight angle. “How are you so wise?”