Now
VIOLET
After I was promoted at Sweet & Salty, Grayson was the first person I told.
He was the first person I told everything to, whether it was good or bad. There’s this energy that surrounded him, which made him so easy to talk to. He still has that same energy today.
I follow Grayson to the Stingrays’ Basketball House, which is chaotic to say the least. Cars are flooding the streets, and people are hanging out in front of the house.
There’s a space in front of the garage where he pulls into.
When he gets out of his truck, he guides me over to a space close to the house. I shift the gear into park, turn my car off, and grab my purse.
As I unlock the door, I see Grayson standing there. He opens the door for me, grabbing my hand, so I don’t lose my balance.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I say to him.
“I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” His dark brown eyes scan me from head to toe, making me feel like I’m boiling water.
I break eye contact with him by closing my door and locking my car.
The closer we get to the house, the louder the music booms. There’s a huge banner that says homecoming game champions in all caps with the school’s logo centered above the text. It’s hard to miss because the text is in teal on a black background.
The Stingrays’ Basketball House is located across from the Greek district, so the house has those iconic white pillars. The house itself is a creamy white, but the door is painted a bright teal. The shingled roof looks dark gray, but I’m sure it’s lighter during the day.
A small staircase brings us closer to the door.
The door is already open. It’s almost as if everybody has been expecting us. When I walk inside, there are people everywhere, drinking and dancing. The music is blasting. Colorful lights are bouncing off the furniture.
Instead of leaving me alone, Grayson takes my hand and guides us through heaps of people. I can feel the heat transferring into my bones the second his hand touches mine.
Grayson’s lips move closer to my ear. “I’m trying to find Noah, Xander, Dani, Bella, and Willow. Let me know if you see any of them.”
Studying the kitchen and living room areas, I have no luck. I raise my head up to check out the second floor and see our friends talking up a storm with each other. I pull Grayson closer to me. “They’re upstairs.” I point up with my index finger at a slight angle.
Our hands let go of one another, and he follows me upstairs. It’s crowded up here, but not as much as it is downstairs on the main floor. The group is hanging out in the living room area.
Grayson hides behind Noah and Xander in an attempt to scare them. Dani and Bella are giggling, while Willow has no idea what’s going on.
“What’s so funny, Princess?” Noah asks Dani.
“Your obliviousness,” she replies with no hesitation.
“What are you—” Noah gets cut off as Grayson pokes him with his fingers in his sides.
Xander is laughing so hard his face is turning red. Bella is unfazed by their stupidity.
“You’re going to blow up if you continue to laugh like that,” Bella tells Xander.
Xander doesn’t respond to her. He usually has witty comebacks, so why isn’t he using one on her?
I plop down on the sofa next to Willow.
“Your friends are pretty cool,” she says.
Dani sits down on Noah’s lap. “You’re a part of this group now, Willow, so thank you for saying we’re cool. It’s bullshit in my opinion, but it’s rare that we get called that. So, again, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Willow chuckles.
“How long have you guys been up here?” I ask.
“I’d say around a half an hour. We’ve been having our own party away from the party.” Bella laughs.
I can’t help but notice how Xander is staring at Bella. It’s like they’re the only people in the room. It’s similar to how Grayson used to stare at me when we were dating.
Now I understand why he didn’t use a comeback on her.
I signal Noah over to me, and we stand away from everybody.
“What’s up?” he asks, leaning against the wall next to him.
“Does Xander have a thing for Bella?”
Noah clears his throat a bunch of times and bounces his eyes around the room to avoid answering my question.
“Noah!” I raise my voice.
“Look, he hasn’t flat out told me if he has feelings for her, but I’m confident he does. Don’t say anything to anybody about it though. I don’t want to embarrass him.”
“I would never do that.”
Grayson aggressively plops down on the sofa next to Xander. “Vi, you should tell everybody about your exciting news!”
I sit back down next to Willow on the sofa, directly facing the giant TV. “Oh, really?”
Grayson nods. “Mm-hm.”
“What’s your news?” Dani asks.
“Tell us!” Bella shouts.
“Laura promoted me to assistant manager at Sweet & Salty.” I place my hands on my cheeks, feeling them get warmer with every second that passes by.
“That’s awesome! Congrats, Violet.” Noah grins at me.
“I second what Noah said,” Xander adds.
“Wait, did you know about this already?” Bella asks Grayson.
“Yeah, Violet told me after you guys left the game,” Grayson tells her.
“Well, Laura did the right thing. You’re a part of the heart and soul of that store. I’m so happy and excited for you. When one chapter ends, another one begins.” Dani’s eyes dart back and forth between Grayson and I.
“Cut it out,” I say softly.
“So, when are you going to leave us to converse with the Stingrays?” Xander asks Grayson, resting his fist underneath his chin.
“Not for a while. I’m sure they’re drunk off their asses by now, and I don’t need to see it.”
“Good for you!” Noah puts a thumb up into the air.
“Wow, we’re a fun bunch, aren’t we? We’re sitting up here to get away from everybody and the noise.” Grayson looks at all of us individually.
“What matters is that we’re having fun together. Right?” Dani makes a point.
“You’re right, Sunshine.” Noah goes in to plant a kiss on Dani’s cheek.
I turn my head away from the mushiness, but not enough because Grayson is still in my view. My eyes keep meeting his. When I smile at him, he returns a smile back at me.
Bella rolls her eyes. “Are you two done swallowing each other yet?”
“I hate to inform you, but we might be here until tomorrow,” Xander answers her question. He successfully gets Bella to giggle before he pushes Noah a bit. “Seriously bro, can you guys not do this right now?”
Noah releases Dani’s lips from his and gives his full attention to Xander. “Okay, calm down.” He wraps his arms around Dani’s waist.
“What’s going on with you?” Dani asks Xander, narrowing her eyes a little. “Are you okay?”
“I’m peachy.” He winks at Noah.
Dani gives Noah an intense death stare. “I’m going to kick your ass if you told him!”
“Be my guest,” Noah says.
Dani flips him off.
“I’m so confused. What’s going on?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it. Noah’s being a pain in my ass like he usually is,” Dani says.
“So…Willow, what’s your major?” Bella asks, crossing one leg over the other.
“Graphic design. My minor is in animation. How about you? What’s your major?”
“We have an artist amongst us now. It’s too bad that Sage isn’t here. She’s also a graphic design major, but her area of concentration is website design. My major is journalism.”
“Oh, nice. Do you want to be on broadcast news or do you want to write for a publication?”
“I want to write, specifically for the fashion and beauty industry.” Bella notices Grayson and Xander talking and laughing amongst themselves, so she decides to intervene. “Hey Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, what’s so funny?”
They both go silent.
“We weren’t talking about you if that’s what you’re worried about,” Grayson says.
She folds her arms. “I’m not worried. I wouldn’t give two shits if you were.”
“Damn.” Xander extends the M.
Bella’s mouth shifts a bit to the side. “Okay, smartass, why don’t you tell Willow what your major is?”
“Fine.” Xander looks at Willow. “I’m studying film as well as media production and management.”
Willow nods and grins, appearing to be impressed. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Ah, then you must’ve thought I was an athlete, too.” He stands up and flexes his muscles.
All the girls, including me, burst out into obnoxious laughter. Noah and Grayson eventually join us.
“Hey! Stop laughing at me. You guys suck.” Xander sits back down, rolling his eyes.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Willow corrects herself. “I thought you were the nerdy type that’s into computers or something.”
“Oh, trust me, being a movie lover is nerdy. We’re a different breed.”
Willow pivots to Grayson. “Right. Okay, so, I know Noah and Dani are aspiring authors because Violet told me. Grayson, are you majoring in something sports related?”
“Sports business management, and I’m getting my minor in nutrition.”
“Nutrition?” Willow’s surprise is written all over her face.
“He’s been cooking since around the same time he started playing basketball. He’s always cared about what he puts into his body, especially as an athlete,” I explain.
Grayson is staring at me, and I can’t tell if he’s annoyed that I answered for him.
“Sorry, I hope I wasn’t overstepping by answering for you.”
He shakes his head. “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
My cheeks warm up as I smile away from him.
What is wrong with me?
As I swing my head back into his direction, I see a smile appear on his face.
Oh, this cannot be happening right now. I can’t have these feelings rushing back. I know I broke his heart before, and I don’t want that to happen again. Most importantly, I don’t want my heart to be the next one to break.
I get up from the sofa and look down both corridors.
“Where are you going?” Grayson asks me.
“The bathroom.”
“It’s straight ahead on your right.”
“Thanks.”
Grayson grabs my hand, pulling me closer to him. “Don’t be gone for too long.”
I find myself unable to respond, but my eyes must be saying something because he smiles at me.
I smile back at him, releasing my hand from his. I swerve my way through a small crowd of people and make it inside the bathroom.
What are you doing? You cannot be starting something up with him again. You know what happened last time. Remember how he looked at you when you showed up in his life after being gone for six years? He was angry and upset. He deserves better than you.
Dani knocks on the bathroom door. “Vi, are you okay? You’ve been in there for thirty minutes.”
I unlock the door and quickly invite her in before slamming the door shut. I fall onto the floor with a river of tears streaming out of my eyes, and she sits down next to me.
“Hey, look at me,” she says gently.
Managing to meet Dani’s gaze, I follow along as she gestures for me to do some breathing exercises. Once I’m able to breathe normally, I swallow a lump down my throat.
“What happened?” she asks, her pupils dilating.
“I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of, Vi?”
“All these feelings are rushing back, and I c-can’t have them. He was so angry at m-me for coming back into his l-life a week ago. How is he o-okay with it now? I can’t h-hurt him again. I can’t g-get hurt again.”
“We all have different healing processes. I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but I genuinely believe he has some kind of feelings stored for you. I don’t think he would’ve forgiven you like that if he still…”
“What? Finish what you were going to say.”
“He wouldn’t have forgiven you if he didn’t still love you.”
“I think you’re writing and reading too many romance books.”
She scoots in front of me. “Violet, you know deep down, it could be a huge possibility. I’ve seen the way he’s looked at you tonight.
I don’t want to make the thoughts inside your head grow because I know what it feels like to wonder if the person you have feelings for feels the same way about you.
I won’t talk about this anymore if you don’t want me to. ”
“For now, I’d appreciate it. I need to focus on my classes, my job, and my friends. I can’t have any distractions, especially not in the form of an ex-boyfriend.”
“You sounded like Grayson at the end there.”
I grunt. “Mm-hm.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I feel better now. Thanks for checking on me.”
“Grayson wanted to see what was going on with you, but I insisted on taking his place.”
“Well, considering the circumstances, I’m glad it was you and not him.” I cover my mouth. “Was that mean?”
“I don’t think so. This would’ve been a totally different conversation between you two if he came in here instead of me.” She gets up off the floor and wraps her hand around the door handle, looking at me. “I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Okay?”
“Okay.”
A wide grin grows on her face as she walks out of the bathroom.
It’s going to take a while to get used to the fact that I have friends to talk to about my struggles because I didn’t have that luxury growing up. I got so jealous when I would see a group of girls hanging out together at lunch or freaking out about a boy during class.
To this day, I wonder how I would’ve turned out if I had friends in middle school and high school.
Would I be any different?
Would I be insufferable to be around?
Would I be more interesting?
These aren’t thoughts I have often anymore because life has put me on a path that it believes I should be on.
I can wonder about all of these things, but in the long run, none of it matters.
I’m excited to see what happens as I continue in this direction, whether it’s career-related or what could happen with my love life.
Life knows what it’s doing, and I’m just going along for the ride.
Scrutinizing my reflection in the mirror, I notice how puffy my under-eye area is. It’s not red, which is surprising because it usually gets red after I cry my eyes out.
Luck is working in my favor tonight.