Now
VIOLET
When I finish telling him the truth, he sits there and stares into space. He’s processing all the emotions he’s feeling.
I fiddle with my hands to keep my nerves at bay.
“So, you’re telling me you were there at the hospital that night?” he asks, making sure he heard what I told him correctly.
“I was, but I wasn’t there for too long.”
“It doesn’t matter. You were there.” He closes his eyes as he gets up from the sofa. “You told Noah to keep in touch with you and not to tell me about it. You told my mother to not have me reach out to you. You were the one who brought my truck to the hospital, not Noah. I can’t believe this.”
“I know this is a lot of information to process.” I get up and stand with some distance in between us.
“Oh, do you?!” He raises his voice. “Do you know how in denial I was when Noah told me you were never there? I knew deep down that it was a lie, but he convinced me it was the truth. I couldn’t understand why my girlfriend…
sorry, let me correct myself. I don’t understand why the love of my life would do that to me.
You thought it would be the best thing for me to vanish from my life.
Now, I’m going to be the one to vanish from yours. ”
Before I can utter a single word, Grayson storms out of the apartment and slams the door behind him.
I was right.
He’s never going to talk to me ever again. I couldn’t bear to get closer to him without telling him the truth because I would’ve felt like I was living some version of a lie.
He has every right to be angry with me, but I’ve never seen him get like that. His tone had an edge to it, and his face wasn’t the same.
I didn’t get the chance to explain why I left that night because he vacated the premises before I could. I don’t know if a further explanation would’ve made things better or worse.
Pain slices its way through me, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to numb it this time around. I’m crying so much that I can’t breathe through my nose.
Heartbreak is one of those things that is always going to burn. It doesn’t matter who the person who causes it is, but when it’s someone you loved with every fiber of your being, it’ll feel like you won’t survive without them.
This is how I felt the first time. I didn’t know how to live my life without having Grayson in it. All these good things that happened to me I couldn’t tell him about because we weren’t on speaking terms.
He’s going to follow me everywhere I go. There’s no way to escape him. He’s become a part of me, and I can’t separate him from me.
I hear the sound of the front door being unlocked, but I can’t move. Sage pushes her way in, giving me a minor injury in the process.
“What the hell are you doing sitting against the door?” she asks, her tone emotionless.
“You can tell me I told you so.” I look up at her, so she can see how much of a mess I am.
“What happened?” She sits down next to me.
“I told Grayson the truth about what happened the night of his accident.”
“I’m guessing it didn’t go too well.”
“He’s never going to talk to me again. I’m a horrible person.”
“You know, there’s something I admire about you.”
I narrow my eyes. “And what’s that?”
“How you wear your heart on your sleeve. I used to be like you, but then I got hurt too much, and I decided to hide my heart from everybody. I didn’t want to have the privilege of feeling things.
You’re many things, Violet, but a horrible person isn’t one of them.
Sometimes our emotions get us into more trouble than when we have them turned off. ”
“You’re being nice to me. It’s freaking me out.”
She chuckles. “I’ve never been the person people go to for advice. That’s why I distance myself from you when you tell me you need some. It sounds ridiculous, but I don’t want to give someone the wrong advice and possibly ruin their life.”
“Well, you’re not the only one who gives bad advice. Is it cool if I join the club?”
“Oh, definitely.”
“This is the worst Halloween ever.” Sage sighs. “Did we get any trick-or-treaters?”
“Nope. I bought all this candy for nothing.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s a total loss.” She gets up and grabs the bowl of candy sitting on the stool near the door, putting it in her lap. “You can only take one.”
I pout. “Why can I only take one?”
“I’ve seen how you get when you eat too much sugar.”
“Fine.” I grab one of the mini chocolate bars.
Sage picks out one of the mini bags of sour candy, ripping it open.
“Thank you for not telling me I told you so.”
“I don’t believe saying that to someone is productive because most of the time it makes them feel worse than they already do.” She drops a sour candy in her mouth and swallows it. “Did he say anything about never talking to you again?”
I lift an eyebrow. “Well, no.”
“I think he’ll come around, but it’s going to take some time. For now, try to focus on your classes, work, and your business. It’s important to throw yourself into something else, so you don’t wallow in sadness and endless overthinking.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“I know this is cliché as hell, but you’re going to be okay.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re strong, and you made it out the first time. You built a life for yourself. It’s not going to be easy, but you can do it again.”
“I wish I didn’t have to do it all over again.” Tears burn the inner rims of my eyes, slowly making their way down to my cheeks.
In a rare act of kindness, Sage scoots closer to me and drapes her arm around me.
I never thought I’d be consoled by Sage when this moment was going to rise to the surface because I know how she gets when emotions are involved.
She showed me empathy, and she listened to every word I said.
I’m not taking this moment for granted in the slightest.
I don’t know how I’m going to get back to the person I was before I decided to reunite with Grayson, but I’ll find my way back to her.
I hope we’ll cross paths again one day, but I have a feeling if we do, it’ll be in an alternate universe.