29. Taylor
Twenty-Nine
Taylor
I land in New York after a delay in my flight from Anchorage to Seattle, and after flying for the last ten hours, I’m ready for a break. It’s been a while since I’ve flown a couple of segments in one day, but it’s good to keep myself busy. It’s also been a long time since I’ve toured New York City. I don’t have a ton of time before my flight to Boston, but it’s enough to take in a few sights and clear my head, remind myself what it’s like to be alone. Obsessing over what happened in the past won’t make it disappear but focusing on what’s to come will lessen its effects.
I was never meant to be a vehicle to a man’s success, and maybe in the end, that’s all Jake wanted out of this. Maybe he was using me, knowing I built my career on my own from the ground up. The one thing that’s coming out of this is the fire that’s been lit underneath me.
Running on my broken heart and my interesting conversation during my evaluation signing, I’m on a mission to change things for female pilots and I don’t just mean inspiring more women to join the industry.
My confidence has never wavered in what I do and what I know needs to be done, and as I’m moving through the airport after turning in the post-flight checklist, I hear someone call my name.
“Taylor?” the voice calls out, and there’s a question attached to the end as if this person is questioning whether I’m a person they know.
I turn around and see Dean Clynes jogging toward me, his small suitcase riding alongside him as he hurries to catch up to me.
Sounding a little winded, he says, “I thought that was you.”
“Hey, Dean,” I say, greeting him with a hug. “We’ve gotta stop meeting this way.” I motion around the airport and give him a smile. Dean and I spent so much time together as reserve pilots back in the day, but things have slowly faded away. And now by chance, we run into each other in the Crescent Airways lounge or in random airports around the world.
“Well, I’m flying with you tomorrow. I’m your first officer.”
“Seriously?” I hadn’t even looked at who I would be flying with, I just knew it wasn’t Jake, and that was enough for me.
“Yeah, the fastest way I can get back home is through Boston. I just flew in from London and got a call from Kaitlin telling me she’s pregnant.”
My eyebrows go up in response to his words, and he shakes his head, giving me a smirk.
“It’s a good thing, a great thing actually.”
“Congratulations are in order then,” I say, patting him on the arm. “What do you say we celebrate tonight? You turned me down last time we were in New York together.” I wink at him and playfully give him an elbow to his side.
He pauses, looking at me as if he’s trying to figure out if I’m propositioning him or if I’m legitimately asking him to dinner as friends.
“I don’t sleep with married men, Dean. Never have, never will,” I say, knowing my words are a lie, but also knowing I was lied to and led to believe Jake was single. I’ve never been about breaking up a family or being the other woman. “Just dinner and a night out in the Big Apple?” I suggest, making it clear my intentions are only friendly ones.
“Why not? I’ve got nothing else going on. What’s on your agenda?”
We continue walking, Dean now next to me as we make our way out of the airport and while we could hop on the crew shuttle, I flag us a taxi. Sometimes things like this are better kept private. The last thing either of us needs is gossip, and the two of us together would just have that tea spilling all over the place. I give the cab driver the name of the crew hotel, and we’re on our way, but in that moment, I realize I failed to answer Dean’s question.
“I was planning to go to Madame Tussauds and eat excessive amounts of New York-style pizza and visit the portal to hell, also known as Times Square.” I shrug my shoulders at my over-the-top tourist plan, giving a little laugh at how ridiculous it is.
Dean lets out a deep laugh, his head falling back a little as the cab driver looks at me in the rearview mirror.
“I find women like you fascinating,” he says, and I cock my head and narrow my eyes wondering what that’s supposed to mean. Women like me…
“I’m not dust, Dean. I don’t settle.”
“Exactly.” He opens his mouth to say something else but stops, and the air between us falls silent for a few seconds. The sounds of horns and sirens fill the cab, and we ride along, watching the busy city street pass us by.
There’s something calming about being with Dean. There’s no expectations, no worries or fears of judgment, just the notion of friendship and maybe that’s exactly what I need right now.
“So,” Dean starts, and I know he’s been working up to ask me about Jake. The rumor mill at Crescent Airways has been working overtime, especially if you add in my recent run-in during my evaluation.
“What do you want to know, Dean?” I ask, a smirk on my face, beating him to the awkward conversation.
“I heard you were dating someone. Another pilot.”
“Oh, yeah, I was for a hot second, but…” I trail off, not certain how to explain what happened between Jake and me. “Things end.”
“Things do end, but when you find that right person, they make life so much easier.”
“So I hear.”
Dean chuckles a little, his lips turning up in a small smile. “You’re dangerous,” he says, tipping his head in my direction.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you don’t need anyone.”
Now it’s me smirking, a small piece of my broken heart mending itself at Dean’s words. “Thank you. I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.”
Coming from someone else, it would’ve been perceived as a dig, something to get under my skin, something from a guy to make me question myself, but from Dean, it shows he knows who I am and what I need to hear.
We drop our stuff off at the hotel and meet back up in the lobby, both of us dressed casually, and for a second, I realize people will think we’re a couple. But these are other people’s issues not mine. Today is about celebrating Dean, and an opportunity for me to just have fun.
“You ready?” he asks, opening the door for me as I pull out my phone and put in the address to the wax museum.
“Yep, let’s see some wax people.”
We spend about two hours at the museum fucking about, taking pictures and laughing. It’s casual and fun, and when Dean suggests I kneel in front of the Bill Clinton figure, I do it, both of us laughing to the point of tears.
On our walk to the pizza place we stroll through Times Square, stopping to take a few pictures, but both of us avoiding all the craziness of the people dressed up in ratty costumes wanting tips for pictures. But unfortunately, Hello Kitty, who looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet, gets a little too close, so we make a run for it. Dean grabbing at my wrist and telling me to hurry because dirty Hello Kitty smells like old cheese.
Spending time with Dean is exactly what I needed, and I feel myself relax as we sit down at a small table in the back of a pizza place.
“How’s married life treating you?” I ask, keeping our conversation light and simple.
“Great. I always thought being a pilot would be it for me, but since meeting Kaitlin, I want to be home as much as possible. I just want to be with her all the time.”
I almost laugh out at how different Dean is. This is never where I expected him to be, but it looks good on him. “You’re a changed man, Dean Clynes.”
“I’m so glad we ran into each other,” he says, taking a big bite of his oversized slice of pizza.
“See, I told you there was more to me than just a place to stick your dick.” I wink at him and Dean laughs a little.
“I was such an asshole,” Dean replies, shaking his head as he obviously recalls our conversation from the past.
“Nah, it was just who we used to be. People change.”
“You want to tell me what happened with the guy you were seeing?”
“Not really.”
“But we’re friends now, remember?” he jokes, giving my foot a kick under the table. “After Kaitlin and I split, I started seeing a therapist. It was the best decision I ever made.”
“So now you’re an expert in relationships?” My tone is playful, and while our back-and-forth banter is light, the conversation won’t be.
“I’m an expert in misunderstandings. You have to give people the chance to explain before you bail.”
“Speaking from experience, huh?” I furrow my brows at him and sit up a little straighter in my chair. A part of me wonders exactly how much he already knows about my situation.
“Absolutely. Had Kaitlin not given me a chance to explain, to make things right, we wouldn’t be where we are today.”
“He’s married,” I blurt out. “And I didn’t know that.”
Dean lets out a slow breath, a whistle sounding between his teeth and now he knows I broke my own rule.
“That is pretty shitty. He didn’t tell you?”
“Nope, not a mention, nothing.”
“And what was his explanation?”
Ugh, I can see where this is heading: Dean’s comment about misunderstandings. But this isn’t a misunderstanding. It’s black and white. He’s married and I slept with him, and he failed to mention any of this.
“I didn’t let him explain. Why should I? He didn’t have the courtesy to let me make the choice as to if I wanted to sleep with someone who is married. I get it, there are guys in this job that sleep around, giving no fucks about their wife at home, but I won’t be a party to that.”
Leaning back in his chair, Dean tucks his hands behind his head, listening to me rant as he nods his head. “Okay, don’t kill me,” Dean starts, his hands held up defensively. “But weren’t you sleeping around while you were still married?”
“Gossip, Dean, just gossip. I never once cheated on Trent despite popular opinion and his big ass mouth.”
“How about while you were separated?” He throws up his hands again, his teeth clenched together as I glare at him.
“Yeah, but everyone knew what had happened between Trent and me. It was no secret.”
“Just sayin’. Give him a chance.”
“Geez, you’re really pushing this. Did Jake put you up to this?” The skepticism now coming through in my voice. This whole pilot world at Crescent Airways is one big dysfunctional family. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Jake had somehow gotten to Dean.
“Nope, but I’ve heard good things about him. Heard he’s one of the most respectful pilots according to the flight attendants. Friendly, helpful, a great pilot…”
All these things are true, but they don’t change the fact that he’s married and that’s the thought that keeps swirling in my head.
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying give him a chance to explain himself and if you still think he’s a total dick, kick him to the curb. We all know that you don’t need him, but to want someone is different.”
“And unfortunately, I want him,” I admit, rolling my eyes as I let my guard down, swallowing hard at what to me feels like desperation.
“That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human and strong women make men better people. Trust me, I know.”
Dean’s smile grows and I know he’s thinking about Kaitlin and how his life has changed since meeting her.
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give Jake a chance to explain if you agree to help me with something.” I narrow my eyes at him, testing to see if he’s really serious about what he’s just said. If his words hold weight, if he really believes that strong women make men better people, then he’ll be all in.
“Happy to help. A friend is never an imposition,” he says, smiling as if I’m missing out on an inside joke.