Chapter 23
Maya loved Julie’s new home. It might not be finished yet, but it was filled with her sister’s characteristic warmth and welcome already. She and Seth had bought a spacious, detached, characterful property in an idyllic setting a little outside of Whistlestop River. It had far-reaching country views and a big list of things that had to be done. The home was thatched but not grade listed, which meant they could do whatever they liked to it for their renovations and it had a generous back garden with plenty of space for a growing family.
‘So what’s next on the renovation agenda?’ Maya asked as they sat on the deck chairs in the kitchen with a cup of tea each. The deck chairs were in lieu of proper furniture, which Julie refused to buy until they’d done the kitchen and right now, she and Seth couldn’t agree on the colour scheme so were putting up with barely any bench space and the tatty floor and doing the dining room while they came to a decision.
‘I’d love to say kitchen…’ Julie set her cup of tea on the floor while she re-tied her ponytail. With old jeans and a worn, flannel, gingham shirt, she looked like a glamorous renovator.
‘But…’
‘Well, as you know, neither of us can see the other’s point of view.’ She said it with a smile. Had this been Conrad and Maya, the same sentence would’ve been laced with frustration, Maya knowing that he wouldn’t be the one to budge. ‘I want to knock the wall through to make it a little more open plan. Seth would rather have the kitchen separate, says it’s in keeping with the house and tradition. But at least we’ve agreed on midnight-blue units for the kitchen and a butler’s sink.’
‘Well, that’s a start.’ Maya blew across the top of her tea. ‘What about worktops?’
‘Wooden but as to which wood…’
‘You two will get there in the end. And I’m enjoying seeing it in progress.’
From her position on the deckchair, Julie reached into the nearest cupboard and when she looked like she might fall out of the chair at any second, she pulled her body back upright with the prize: a packet of chocolate hobnobs in her hand.
Maya readily took two and they settled back to talk more about the house, the other plans Julie and Seth had, what they wanted to do with the garden.
Julie caught a crumb from her biscuit with her hand before it dropped to her lap. ‘From the minute I stepped through the gate… or rather lifted the disintegrating wood out of the way to get to the path, I knew this was the place I wanted to bring up my family.’
‘Mum would’ve loved to see you here, settling down.’
‘I like to think she would have too.’
The way Julie looked reminded Maya so much of their mother, it almost hurt. Julie didn’t really remember their mother, who died when she was only three years old, but she and Maya talked about her often. They didn’t shy away from the pain of losing her; they faced it together. Sometimes it made them melancholy but not always, not today.
‘Has Dad been over since you did the stairs?’ Maya asked. The stairs had rotted in a few places and so the entire staircase had been replaced in a beautiful natural oak with turned newel posts and spindles.
‘He has, he approves. And he’s been helping me a bit in the garden too.’
Maya almost spat out her tea. ‘Dad… our dad… got his hands dirty?’ She took another hobnob from the packet standing upright between them. ‘He hates gardening, that’s why he employs someone else to do his own.’
‘Let’s face it, Maya, his place is huge; no way could he take care of it all even if he wanted to.’
‘Good point. But still, I never expected gardening. What did he do? Mow the lawn?’
‘Oh, I had him on more heavy-duty stuff than that. He cut back all the hedges and overgrown shrubbery, he pulled out weeds, cleared debris behind the shed. We can see a rockery now at the foot of the garden, which I thought we’d get rid of but Dad had some good ideas of what to plant.’ She sipped her tea. ‘He was talking about your garden while he was here.’
‘Mine?’
‘He was saying you could do a lot with small gardens now. He had images on his iPad; he’s been looking into it. And I can’t help wondering whether that’s because he wants a way to connect to you.’
‘But he’s never asked me about my garden.’
‘Maybe he doesn’t know how.’
Maya didn’t know what to make of it; it felt surreal to have him interested in anything she did.
Julie went on. ‘Dad overheard us talking out on the patio one day – remember when we sat out back at Dad’s with hot chocolates on that really cold afternoon the week before my wedding?’
Maya remembered. Julie had been looking after her elderly neighbour Barbara’s dog Rufus so he could get some exercise. The dog was a bit too lively for Barbara but when Julie headed to the family home, he was also too lively to be inside their father’s house and so they took him out back and let him run around the garden. The sisters had nursed hot chocolates and snuggled under a blanket each for warmth as they chatted.
That day, they had talked about the house Julie and Seth had bought and about Maya’s cottage of modest size with a small back garden that was low maintenance, largely because she didn’t bother with it rather than it having been designed that way. Maya had admitted she’d love to be able to sit outside properly rather than dragging out a plastic chair every time. They discussed what it would be like if she added a small seating area, or if she added a gazebo at the back, they talked about the types of flowers they could put in tubs to add colour depending on seasons.
‘I still haven’t done anything with it,’ Maya admitted. ‘The old vegetable patch is still there, still growing weeds. I haven’t yet found the time or energy to do anything.’
‘Well, Dad heard us that day and when he came to see the stairs, he asked if you’d planned anything for your garden yet. I told him you never seemed to have the time with your job.’ She locked eyes with her sister. ‘He said the air ambulance was lucky to have you.’
Maya set down her mug with the dregs of tea inside. ‘He never said that. You must have misheard.’
‘This is why I didn’t say anything before now. I didn’t mishear, Maya; why do you automatically assume the worst with him?’
‘I do not.’
‘Do too,’ she retorted.
‘He’s always hated what I do.’
‘I don’t think he hates it. He might have wanted different for you and who knows why, as neither of you talk to each other. But after I fell and hit my head at the wedding and the air ambulance crew came out, I think he started to see it all a bit differently. It was like it wasn’t real before, but seeing the helicopter land in the back garden, everyone rush inside to help, maybe he began to see the reality.’
When Maya said nothing, Julie started to get annoyed. Maya could tell it was happening because her posture changed; she was no longer leaning back in her chair but sitting ramrod straight.
‘You have a different dad to the one I know,’ said Maya.
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘Julie, it’s not ridiculous. And we’ve been through this, many a time.’
‘I think he actually wants to start making amends with whatever it is that makes you two clash. Can’t you meet him halfway?’ Julie always saw the best in people; she was good at it.
‘Let’s see how it goes,’ Maya answered noncommittally.
Julie snatched the packet of hobnobs up plus the mugs and went over to dump them in the old aluminium sink that had a single piece of worn benchtop next to it. ‘It will always be different if you don’t let him try to be the dad he really is.’
Maya saw the hurt in her sister’s eyes. ‘I’ve been waiting for him to approve of me and my life choices for years, Julie. I got tired waiting.’
‘Do you know that when Dad was talking about your garden, he thought he might send some of his gardening team round to you, give you some ideas and quotes? I told him not to, that you’d appreciate him more than a bunch of strangers. But now I wonder whether you would or whether you’d close the door in his face.’
‘You make me sound so callous.’
‘Well, he didn’t say he would, but I think he might want to and is worried he won’t get very far.’ She pulled her sister into a hug. ‘I don’t think you’re callous, I think you’re strong and wonderful, and so is Dad. But try? Not because I’m asking you but for you and for him. If you put as much effort into your relationship with Dad as you do trying to get Conrad and Isaac on track…’
Maya relented. ‘Next time I see Dad, I’ll make an effort.’
‘Which will only be when I orchestrate it.’
Maya grinned. ‘I knew you kept throwing us together on purpose.’
‘And yet you still show up.’
‘Of course I do.’ She hugged Julie back. ‘Now show me around the house again; let’s park the subject of Dad and me for now. I’ve taken what you’ve said on board. I promise.’
‘Do you really promise?’
‘Yes. Now I want to see more, including the drawings for the loft conversion.’
‘Okay, I’ll let it go for now but only because I can’t wait to show you the plans.’
‘Lead the way.’
Maya arrived at Conrad’s with so many containers of pre-cooked food ready for his freezer that he could have a dinner party for ten, three times over. He’d transferred her money for the shopping and as it was way too much for what she needed, she’d gone for it, batch cooking for hours so that she could cut down on these visits. The freezer was almost at bursting point and even he couldn’t argue that his one-armed abilities would hamper his nutrition now.
‘I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this, Maya.’
Well, he could. But that didn’t mean she hadn’t had enough. She was over it. She didn’t want thanks. She didn’t want gratitude. She wanted her freedom back. And she’d heard a whispering from someone else at the air ambulance base that Conrad, or someone who looked very much like Conrad, had been spotted out again after dark nipping in to pick up a box of beer from the supermarket.
‘I’m going to have to shoot off, I’m afraid.’ She put on enough regret to be believable but not so much he’d take it as sarcasm. It was a fine line, especially when she was annoyed at him for the pretence.
‘You all right?’ he asked, holding the shoulder of his bad arm with his good one to make sure she didn’t forget his injuries.
‘I am, work has been really busy lately. Same shifts as usual but we’ve had a lot of callouts each time. It doesn’t always work like that but recently…’
‘How’s Noah?’
‘Noah is good. So is Bess. So is Nadia.’ She refused to take the bait.
She picked up the empty cardboard box she’d used to transport the containers and held it against her body so she wouldn’t have to face the lingering hug he liked to give if her guard was down. She spotted some files on the sofa. ‘Are you working?’
He shrugged. ‘I asked work to send me something. I want to keep my mind active, you know. And they’re always happy to offload paperwork.’
She headed for the front door rather than questioning him further. The day Conrad volunteered for paperwork would be the day she’d look up and see pigs flying between the clouds. He was a man who wanted to be involved with cases, out investigating; he didn’t want to sit there shuffling papers.
‘You working tonight?’ he asked before she reached the front door.
‘No, I’d be useless to anyone this evening. I’m going to take a bath, have an early night.’
She was straight out of the door and to her car, she had the engine on within thirty seconds and she pulled away from the kerb in less than another ten.
Maya’s home was small but the bathroom was fitted perfectly with a slipper tub with Victorian-style taps, a sink, toilet and shower and a window low enough that when she lifted up the blind, she could see out to her back garden. It would be nice when she got around to sprucing it up a bit, but for now she closed the blind so she didn’t have to think about it or Julie’s claims that her dad wanted to help.
She started the bath running, added some bubble bath and when her landline rang, she ran into the bedroom to grab it because she knew it would be Conrad. It wasn’t that she wanted to speak to him but she wanted him to know she was here. He had a habit of doing this, calling her on the landline and pretending he’d hit the wrong button in his contacts rather than calling her mobile number. It was his way of checking she was where she claimed to be and right now, she’d rather pander to his need than have him repetitively calling her.
She took the phone into the bathroom. The water thundered from the taps, the bubbles rising. ‘Conrad, I’m about to step into the tub.’
‘Sorry, it was a butt dial,’ he laughed.
Did he seriously expect her to believe that?
‘Well, an accidental dial at any rate,’ he corrected.
She leaned over and the taps squeaked as she turned them off. Whizzy padded into the bathroom to keep her company.
‘I’ll let you go,’ he said when she didn’t engage in more conversation.
‘Yep, don’t want the water to get cold.’
She must have been tetchier than she realised because his amused tone altered. ‘No need to snap.’
‘It’s been a long day.’ She didn’t point out that as well as work, she had the emotional turmoil of Isaac and Conrad churning over in her head constantly, not to mention being a meals-on-wheels service for a lying ex-husband. ‘I want to climb into a warm bath and then go to bed.’
‘There was a time when you did that here.’
‘Conrad, we are divorced. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?’ She calmed herself by fussing over Whizzy.
‘Marriage did.’
‘I have to go.’
‘Have you thought any more about Ireland?’
‘Seriously, you want to talk about this now? No, I haven’t thought about it.’
She couldn’t see it but no doubt there’d be an amused sneer on his face right now as he said, ‘Maya, don’t push it, babe.’
‘Please don’t call me babe.’ She hadn’t liked it when they were married and she sure as hell didn’t like it now. ‘I’m going now, Conrad.’
‘Suit yourself.’ And so that he had an upper hand of sorts, it was him who put the phone down on her.
Maya sank into the tub, Whizzy leapt up on the small faded-blue cabinet with drawers beneath that she’d painted and put at one end and curled up into a ball, happy to be near her for the company.
Maya didn’t have the long bath she’d wanted, not that Conrad bothered her again. But after ten minutes, she couldn’t relax and so she climbed out, dried off, pulled on her jeans again and hoped that Noah’s offer of a beer was an open invitation for tonight too.