Chapter 21
The morning and afternoon flew by. The kids and I eventually made our way back to Gran’s, they worked on their cards to Santa while I fought the overwhelming numbness as I did our laundry. It was such a mundane task, something that required no forethought whatsoever, and yet I’m pretty sure I held the same towel in my hands for twenty minutes as the night of the accident replayed in my mind, over and over until my stomach felt sick.
“Oh, my gosh, Mom!”
Eve exclaimed as she bounced on the balls of her feet, hands holding the handle of the car door. “Did you see me? Did you see that goal I made? It was like-”
She made a sweeping gesture with her hands. “Whoosh, and I made it!”
“You were great, baby girl.”
David pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Load up so we can go get some ice cream. What do you think, is that a good way to celebrate?”
Both girls raised their hands shouting, “Yes!”
in unison.
I smiled at my beautiful family and climbed into my seat. Sighing as David buckled in, I whined, “I am only seven months along, and I barely fit in the car. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like at nine months.”
David’s eyes gleamed as he smiled and rubbed my rotund belly. “He’s a strong, healthy boy.”
I rolled my eyes and rubbed my sides. “He gets it from you!”
David laughed, kissing my cheek as he started the car. “Damn right.”
He gave me a playful wink before pulling out of the parking lot.
“Mom, can we listen to the kids’ radio?”
Kaley asked earning a groan from everyone else in the car.
“No. Please, no, Mom,”
Eve countered.
I laughed and said, “What about Imagine Dragons playlist?”
I knew that was one everyone could tolerate and sing along with.
Kaley crossed her arms and looked out her window. “Fine.”
I went to my music app and clicked on the playlist. “Bang!”
by AJR played first and we all joined in practically shouting the chorus when the light turned green. David’s hand rested on my knee as we smiled at each other, that was until the blinding light shown through David’s window and the SUV jolted. Screams filled the car, David’s arm shout out over my stomach as we spun, and spun, and spun until we slammed into the telephone pole. I must have blacked out because the next thing I knew, we were being pulled from the vehicle, but David, David was lying motionless on a stretcher. An EMT moved to cover him in a thin white blanket. I don’t know if the scream that left my lips was a conscious choice or not, but it felt distant. Everything felt a million miles away. Somewhere my girls were screaming for David, for me, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move.
“Ma’am you’re losing a lot of blood. Your children are okay,”
a woman said, her voice soothing, a pressure landed on my shoulder. “Look at me. Look at me.”
I complied. Her eyes were blue.
“We are taking you all in ambulances. They are in good hands. We must take care of you and baby now. You’re about to see a lot of people, but we are here to help. Deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Breathe with me.”
“Lucy.”
Gran took the towel from my hands. “Take a seat, pretty girl.”
I took an uneasy breath, legs practically giving way as I followed her instructions. “I wasn’t ready for that call, Gran. I thought they’d never find him.”
She folded the towel and took a seat next to me on the couch. “I don’t think you can prepare for something like this and grief,”
she chuckled humorlessly. “Grief is an unpredictable beast.”
Well, I supposed that was one way to look at it.
“Going back feels…”
I trailed off, staring blankly at the laundry in the basket. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go in the house.”
Gran shrugged her shoulders. “Then don’t. You don’t need any of those things. They are just things, but.”
She placed a hand on my cheek. “You owe yourself the closure of pressing charges.”
“I don’t want to look at the man who ruined everything,”
I admitted as the tears started yet again.
“Take Garrett and Mae or one of your brothers. You’re not alone in this.”
I knew I wasn’t alone. Everything had changed in the last few months. I was surrounded by love in ways I hadn’t been in years. Sure, we all saw one another on holidays, but I had forgotten what it was like to have my family and friends so close. David’s job had us moving at least twice a year. Perks of being good at training military personnel, I suppose. Sure, on some bases there were wives and mothers’ groups, but still, it never lasted long.
“Mae teaches. Victoria owns her own business; I can’t ask her to close for several days right before the holidays. Allison is going through too much,”
I thought out loud. “Brett or Josh would be the most logical choice, but I need Brett to watch the kids. Eve specifically asked not to go. I have to respect that.”
“Josh will go with you. You know he will.”
Gran cupped my cheek tenderly. “We are all here for you.”
Tears brimmed in my eyes. “I love you.”
I threw my arms around her neck and held my grandmother tight.
“I love you, Lucy Lu.”
She ran her fingers through my hair. I felt as though I was a little girl again, coming to Gran for a scraped knee or some other trivial thing.
The afternoon was gone before I could notice it. The girls and I made homemade pizza and brownies for the movie night. I agreed to let them each invite a friend to stay the night as well.
Eve’s new friend, Abby, was ecstatic and arrived just as we pulled the first pizza out of the oven. She was Eve’s opposite in every way, bright blue eyes, pastel pink sweater with whitewashed jeans. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. But the way the girls embraced and fell into easy conversation brought me so much joy and comfort.
Kaley’s friend, Taylor, arrived just as Mae pulled in. She was all curls and nerves, her hands wrung themselves as she stood nervously in the foyer. Kaley bounded down the stairs and Taylor’s little face lit up. My beautifully outgoing daughter took Taylor’s hand and pulled her up the stairs to my bedroom.
I had set up mine and the girls’ rooms with TVs and toys, so each one had their own space to play and watch movies.
Liam walked around the kitchen island, reaching for the pizza on the edge of the counter.
“Are you hungry, Buddy?”
I asked with a chuckle, picking him up, placing him in his highchair. I cut his pizza and handed him the plate.
“Are we ready for a party?”
Mae asked as she burst through the door.
“Good evening, Mae,”
Gran greeted her.
Mae placed a kiss on Gran’s cheek. “Good to see you, Gran. Thanks for letting the rabblerousers infiltrate your home tonight.”
Gran grinned. “Is that what you all are? Should I kick you out before the damage ensues?”
Mae held up three fingers, in the Girl Scout’s honor sign. “I promise not to let it get out of hand.”
Gran laughed as she patted Mae’s arm. “I’ll hold you to that, my dear. Why don’t you join Lucy in the kitchen, the pizza is fresh out of the oven.”
I waved at Mae as she entered. She was dressed cozily in an oversized hoodie, leggings and Ugg boots that were probably from our high school years. Her hair was piled into a messy bun and her eyes looked beyond exhausted.
“I brought the hooch!”
She proclaimed proudly as she lifted two bottles of wine in the air.
I stood from the seat next to Liam, took the bottles, setting them on the counter, and pulled her into my arms. We apparently all needed tonight.
With a shaky breath, Mae mumbled, “I hate my parents.”
I nodded and held her tighter. “I’m sorry, Mae.”
“I hate them so much,”
she cried into my shoulder.
Gran frowned from where she leaned on the doorframe, watching the interaction. Just then, the doorbell rang.
Gran went to answer it as I guided Mae to a barstool at the island.
“Where are the party people? I brought cheesecake and Allison brought hot cocoa bar ingredients.”
Victoria’s enthusiastic grin fell as she took us in, Allison quickly rushing to our sides.
“It appears we all have some heavy things to discuss tonight,”
Allison commented, her blonde curls falling out of her headband and into her face.
Victoria sighed, setting their items on the island. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
We all sat at the table and silently watched Liam finish his pizza. Gran shook her head at the lot of us and plated everyone several slices of pizza.
“Voice your troubles girls. There’s no sense in staring at the baby hoping he will cure all your trouble,”
Gran said taking up her seat at the table.
I looked at Mae, she looked to Allison and Victoria pulled her hair into a tight bun and sighed. “I hate your brother, Joshua. He is the ultimate cock block and if I could, I would knock him out and dump him in the frigid fucking river.”
Well, that did it. We all stared at her for a silent second before bursting into laughter. Her vibrant eyes held nothing but contempt for Josh. One day. One day, they were either going to admit they loved each other or kill one another, there would be no in between.
Once we all managed to calm down, Allison whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
We all seemed to suck in a breath of air at the shock of the statement. Victoria placed a gentle hand on Allison’s back.
Mae opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. She absently scratched behind Garfield’s ears as she listened. He purred in her lap.
“I didn’t know. Apparently, I’m four months along. How the baby survived-”
she sighed as she looked to the ceiling a lone tear falling down her cheek. “I have no clue. I thought I miscarried. It’s a girl. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I would have been barely pregnant the night we did karaoke. I didn’t know. I’d been drinking and I didn’t know. What if I fucked up my kid? I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have… If I’d known.”
More tears fell and we all reached out to touch her, comfort her.
Allison shook her head, looking to Mae, begging for the attention to move away from her. “Mae what’s your news?”
“Allison, you are not a terrible person,”
I interjected, holding her gaze. “I didn’t know I was pregnant with Kaley until I was three months along. David and I had a wild drunken night when I would have been around one month along, too. Your baby will be ok.”
Allison nodded, sniffling as she looked to Mae, pleading her to tell her story.
Mae looked at her for a long moment before shaking her head. “My parents arranged a marriage for me. They finally got wind of my relationship with Vance and decided enough was enough. I have my lawyer looking at ways to get out of it, but it looks like I am going to lose everything if I do. No house, no car, no money other than what I make as the school librarian.”
I did my best to hold in my surprise at the confession of her dating Vance. Had I missed the signs? He seemed kind from what I remembered.
“Money is just money,”
Gran interjected from her spot at the head of the table. “There are always ways to earn money, but love, well, that is worth giving up everything.”
Mae looked at Gran, studying her as she nodded, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I guess I just thought maybe they would be understanding of Vance, well, my mom at least. I had hoped. I don’t know why I let myself hope.”
We took a moment to eat our pizza. I didn’t know that any of us were really tasting it. Eventually, as I freed Liam from his chair, I said, “Garrett and I are officially in a relationship,”
I opened with the positive. The girls burst into smiles and happy cheers. But I had to tell the rest. I sighed as I dropped into my seat and announced, “The driver, who killed David, turned himself in. My real-estate agent has someone interested in buying my old place. I have to go back this week to pack up what’s left at the house and decide whether or not to press charges.”
“Oh my god,”
Mae whispered.
Allison placed a hand on mine.
Victoria sighed. “Well, aren’t we just a merry fucking crew.”
Just then, the kids came down the stairs, running into the kitchen.
“Is the pizza ready?”
Kaley asked, holding Taylor’s hand and grinning ear to ear.
“I’m starving.”
Eve piled a plate full of pizza slices, as Abby watched in amusement. “Can we eat upstairs?”
I looked to Gran. She smiled at the kids. “Sure, but if you make a mess, you have to clean it up.”
“Yes, ma’am,”
Eve and Abby agreed together.
Gran smiled and took a sip of her sweet tea. I helped Kaley and Taylor get their plates. In just a few moments we were once again left to our commiserating.
“Well,”
Victoria began with a clap of her hands. “I vote we go turn on a stupid, too happy, over the top Christmas movie and eat our feelings.”
Allison raised her glass of water. “Here, here!”
I leaned my head on Mae’s shoulder, she promptly laid her cheek on me. We were going to be okay. It was going to be rough, but we had each other, and we were going to make it.
The four of us piled onto the couch, practically laying atop one another, and watched gushy, lovey, predictable romances with warm Christmas ambiances. Liam went down around eight and the girls only came down for brownies, then returned to their dens, eventually falling asleep.
I grabbed my spare duvet and covered the four of us while we continued the movie marathon. My eyes grew weary around midnight. We all fell asleep laying on one another, gentle music playing on the T.V. until dim sunlight began peeking through the curtains.
Mae groaned as she stretched, joining me as I made my way to the kitchen to start brewing coffee.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
She asked as she took the Garfield mug, I handed her.
“No. It’s just one of those things I wished I didn’t have to do. I never wanted to face him. I don’t want to go to court. I just want to move on and never deal with any of it again.”
Mae held my hand, eyes soft with empathy. “If there is anything I can do, just let me know.”
Nodding, I said, “Same goes for you.”
She sighed. “I feel so trivial fretting over material things. You all have such real concerns and worries and me, I’m worried about living on $45,000 a year.”
I chuckled as I poured us coffee. “But that is scary when you’ve never had a budget before. When you didn’t have to plan for gas and groceries and rent.”
“Oh my gosh, I hadn’t even thought of gas.”
She buried her head in her hands. “Vance is going to laugh his ass off.”
Blowing on my coffee, I peered over my mug. “So, Vance, huh?”
She blushed and took a long pull of her drink. “He’s the best human I’ve ever met.”
“I’m hurt,”
Victoria teased as she joined us at the island, her red curls were a knotted mess from having slept with them in a bun.
Mae rolled her eyes, as she tucked her hair behind her ears. “He already offered to let me move in. I mean we spend every other night together anyway. I don’t know. Hell, we’ve been together for nearly a year and a half. There’s part of me that feels like I should figure out how to live on my own money before I move in with him.”
“That’s respectable.”
Allison yawned, taking the seat next to me. “I just hope for my ex’s untimely death and pray God forgives me for wishing such things.”
“I bet I could coerce Josh into doing it, you know, as a way to win my favor.”
Sarcasm dripped from Victoria’s voice.
“Could he win your favor?”
I asked tilting my head to study her reaction.
Her silence was loud. We all giggled.
“He’s fucking persistent. I had a decent thing going before he crashed my date at the festival. Our paths just keep crossing and he has those big stupid eyes and those big stupid muscles that make me feel like he could toss me around and have his way with me in the best possible way.”
I cringed. “Gross, V. That’s my brother!”
She shrugged, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Not my fault you and your brothers were blessed with devilishly good looks, I mean look at you, if you were a man, I’d fuck you.”
“Good lord,”
I groaned. “Please never speak of my family like that again.”
She winked at me from across the counter. “All jokes aside, Josh is a pain in the ass, and I won’t be held liable when he takes it too far and I hit him, with my car.”
We all broke out into a fit of laughter.
Allison smirked around her cup. “We’re going to be okay.”
Mae wrapped her arm around Ali’s shoulder, glancing at all of us. “Yeah, we will.”
Everyone ended up heading home around ten, including Abby and Taylor. Eve and Kaley took a two-hour nap with Liam after lunch. By dinner time, I had messaged Brett and Josh in a group chat asking who wanted to go with me to Virginia and who wanted to help Gran with the kids. Both brothers offered to go. I’m fairly certain they ended up facetiming to do a round of rock paper scissors to determine who was going. By nine p.m. it was decided that Brett would stay with the kids and Josh would come with Garrett and me to Virginia.
You up?- Garrett
I am. Want to come over?
Three bubbles danced on my screen as he typed his reply.
Already in your drive.
A grin consumed my face as I rushed to the door, opening it just as he reached out to knock. I smiled and said, “Beat you to it.”
He smiled as he took me in. I was in fuzzy jammies and monster slippers that Eve got me for Christmas one year. And yet, he looked at me like he was starving and ready for his next meal. “I like this look on you, Daze.”
I laughed, taking his arm and pulling him inside. I turned to hide my blush and guided us to the couch. “Everyone’s in bed. How was your day?”
“It was alright. I tried to reach out to Graham again but still got his voicemail.”
He shrugged as he took a seat next to the fireplace. “I was able to get coverage for Wednesday through Saturday. Will that work for you?”
I joined him on the couch, leaning into his side as I watched the flames lick the brick stone. “Yeah, I think so. Josh is going to come with us, Brett will help Gran with the kids.”
I sighed and scootched in closer, inhaling Garrett’s warmth. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do this. It was one thing when I was just going to be packing up the house, but this-”
I shook my head. “I want to skip this entirely.”
Garrett pulled me tight against his side, kissing my temple as he brushed my hair from my eyes. “I will be with you the entire time, Lucy. Anything you need, I’ll be there.”
I sniffled and kept my focus on the roaring fire. “I called the home health network. They will send a temp to cover my shifts with your mom. You may want to call and add someone to the night shift since you won’t be there in the evenings.”
“I already did. Everything is going to be okay, Daze. I promise.”
His fingers found my chin, gently tipping my head up to look at him. His thumb caressed my jawline. “I love you.”
A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. “I love you, too,”
I said, kissing him tenderly.
“Dad said Mom was asleep and that they were both doing well. Want to watch the new Marvel movie? I’ll head home after.”
I thanked the universe for this beautiful man, wondering how on earth I got so lucky to find love again in this lifetime. “I’d love that.”
He smirked, making one of his dimples pop, if we weren’t on my Gran’s couch…the things I would do to him…
We spent the next two hours going from watching the movie to making out like hormone ridden teenagers. I couldn’t have asked for a better conclusion to the evening.