5. Helen
Chapter 5
Helen
I woke with a jolt, panicking because I’d heard a noise, but then I remembered I didn’t live alone anymore. I had a lodger. God, it made me sound even older than I felt. Next, I’d have too many cats and have taken up knitting.
I climbed out of bed, deciding I needed a girl’s night out, and soon. Walking downstairs, I rubbed my eyes as I tried to clear the fog from my brain, happier now my hangover had vanished completely.
Just as my feet hit the hall floor, the front door opened and Jackson walked in, making my jaw hit the ground.
Topless, tattooed, barefoot and only wearing a tiny pair of green shorts and a backward cap, his chest heaved and sweat covered his smooth skin. He seemed distracted, so it took a second for him to notice me, but I used that moment to take him in. Wide, toned, tight, corded, ripped, stacked… words flooded my head as excitement flooded my underwear and I physically recoiled from the filth that popped into my head.
“Hey,” he whispered when his eyes met mine. “Dropped my earbud on the way in… just found it on the doorstep.” I slowly nodded, unsure what to say. “Sleep well?”
“Like the dead,” I replied. Swallowing hard, I maneuvered around him so I could get to the kitchen, but he followed so close behind that I could smell his musky scent that wrapped around me like a blanket I wanted to bury my face in.
“That’s good.”
I filled the kettle and switched it on, my heart hammering so hard I wondered if I was having a heart attack. “I think I’m going to go drink my tea on the beach. I need a daily fix of sea air.” I needed to put some space between us.
Reaching for my thermal mug that would keep my tea warm while I stood barefoot in the shallows, I avoided looking at Jackson. I didn’t mean to make it weird, but I knew I was. I was just so freaked out with the things I’d told him last night and the reaction my body kept having to him.
“Helen, turn around. Please.”
I didn’t move.
“Helen.” This time there was slightly more force, but I didn’t feel threatened. I liked how his tone made me feel and how much I wanted to comply.
I turned.
“Thank you.”
I fixed my eyes on his face, fighting the urge to look down and take in his half-dressed body again.
“Look, I get this wasn’t your idea, so if you’re not down with it, I’ll leave. You don’t have to feel bad. This is your home and I don’t want you tiptoeing around me like you’re walking on eggshells.”
“I said I was fine with it.” I didn’t sound very believable.
“Yet, you can barely look at me and now you’re running to the beach to hide from me.”
“That’s not true. I like the beach and I really do go every day. It’s why I picked this place. If the weather’s good, then I like to swim while I’m there.”
His brows knitted together. “Okay, well, I wasn’t expecting that. But that doesn’t explain why you hid in your room when your kids left or you can’t even look at me.”
I lowered my eyes slowly, giving myself permission to look at every tattooed, toned inch of him again. “Sorry,” I muttered.
“What are you apologising for? Having feelings? You shouldn’t ever apologise for that.”
I let out a sigh. “The last twenty-four hours have been a lot. My non-date, finding you on the beach, you staying over, how much I drank, what I said to you, what we talked about, then finding you dressed like”—I skimmed my hand up and down in front of him—“that. I’m just feeling, well, a lot.” I hated how honest I was with him… how easily my truth spilled from my treacherous lips.
“You need some stress relief.” I glanced up at him, trying not to let my eyes graze over the outline of his bare, chiselled torso, and as our eyes met, he wiggled his eyebrows, breaking the tension between us. “Seriously, though. It would help.”
“Can we stop talking about my orgasms, or lack of them?” I muttered.
“How about we go for a walk together? That might help instead of the orgasms.”
“Fine, but we’re dipping our toes in the sea while we’re there.”