Chapter 36
Isign the paper for the rental car and hand the clipboard back to the hotel employee.
“You’re all set,” he says, handing me the keys.
“Thanks.” I turn and run into Remi, standing next to my convertible.
“Do you have room for one more?”
She’s still wearing her dress from the wedding, and her eyes are puffy, like she’s been crying.
“I’m going to Tampa. Not the airport.”
“I know.” Her eyes drop, and I can see she’s having a hard time being vulnerable. “I was hoping to join you in Tampa.”
I lift my suitcase into the back of the car. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
She bends over, placing her suitcase next to mine. “Why not?”
I take her suitcase out of the back and set it on the curb. “Don’t you have to work this week?”
“I already got my classes covered,” she says, placing her bag back in the car.
I shake my head. “Why do you even want to come with me anyway?”
“It’s on my bucket list: drive through the Keys in a convertible with a rocket scientist. My bucket list is oddly specific.”
“I’m not sure the rocket scientist is in the mood for company right now.”
“I got your letter.” I look at her, expecting to see her pity face, but instead, she’s looking at me with more determination than I’ve ever seen before—a hidden strength I always knew was there, but she rarely shows. She lifts her chin. “You said a lot of good things that got me thinking about how terrible I’ve been.”
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty.”
“I know, but I deserve to feel guilty. You were right. I haven’t treated you fairly. I’ve been projecting all my issues from my mom onto you and our relationship.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Projected?”
“Yes.” She nods. “Projected. That’s what my therapist calls it.”
I shift my weight. “I didn’t know you had a therapist.”
“It’s a new thing. I’ve only gone to her three times, but I’d like to think I’m making progress, even if it’s slow.”
“I’m glad you have someone you can talk to. I think that will be good for you.” I walk around her to the driver’s side of the car.
Remi runs past me, maneuvering herself in front of my car. Her body leans against the door, and her hands are behind her back, holding the handle.
I dip my chin down, staring at her. “What are you doing?”
“I’m making it difficult for you to leave.”
Leaving her was already the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, and that was before she showed up outside the hotel.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I need you to hear me out.”
I look down, sucking in a deep breath. “I’m listening.”
“I’m slowly realizing that I am enough for you, even with all my faults. You make me feel loved, adored, special, safe, secure, and I hate thinking that you don’t know that. You aren’t the reason for my insecurities, but you’ve been my punching bag as I’ve tried to figure out all my stuff. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for leaving you the day of your mother’s funeral. That was so cruel of me, and I don’t know if you can ever forgive me for it, but if you can, I’d like to make it up to you.”
“I’m not going to lie. It was gut-wrenching when you left. I curled up in a ball on my mom’s bed and sobbed in my dad’s and my sisters’ arms. It was pretty pathetic. We were all crying.” My voice cracks as I think back to that awful night. “I still don’t fully understand why you left.”
“At your mom’s funeral, I listened to all the great qualities about her. She was a truly remarkable woman and mother. But it scared me. I’ll never be like Marilyn Johnson. I’ll never be the kind of mother to our children that you’re used to or that you want. I thought you deserved to find someone like your mom, someone better. So, because I love you, I left.”
“You think that’s what I want?”
“Yes.”
“I love my mom, but I never said I wanted someone exactly like her.”
Her brows bunch together. “Then, what do you want?”
“This.” I gesture between the two of us. “I want Remi. I want all of you. Your good, your bad, your ugly. I want us.”
Her eyes gloss over as her lips move into a smile. “Well, I think you’ve already gotten my bad and my ugly, but I’d love to show you my good.
I pull her into a hug, wrapping my arms around her tiny body. “I’ve already seen the good. You’re an incredible woman. That’s why I love you.”
We stand there in front of the hotel, hugging each other.
“You’re letting me off too easy,” she says, pulling back. “I still want to make it up to you for how awful I’ve been.”
“Remi, it’s not nec?—”
“Shh!” She places a finger over my lips. “Don’t say whatever it is you’re about to say because it sounded like you were going to say that it’s not necessary, and it is, Matt.” Her brown eyes meet mine. “All I want is to be with you.” She lowers her finger. “I’m tired of being scared. I’m ready to commit to you and me and whatever crazy things life brings us.”
My heart stumbles. Is this really happening?
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Yes, I’m sure.” She lifts her shoulders. “I’m not saying that I’m magically cured, but I am saying that I’m trying and that I will never run away from us again. I promise that the next time I get scared or insecure, I’ll talk it through with you. I love you, Matt.”
I bite back my smile and look away. This is all I’ve wanted to hear for the last two months, the last two years. I glance back at her beautiful face. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to secure a date to the Garth Brooks concert?”
Her lips melt into a smile. “Well, you do have a cowboy hat and an overly large belt buckle.”
I lean my body into hers, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I guess I could pull them out of the back of my closet and wear them for you.”
Her arms wrap around my waist, and she tugs me closer. “But first, we’ve got to drive to Tampa.”
“You really want to come with me?”
“Sure.” She smiles. “I’ll spill my entire life story and all my feelings during the seven-hour car ride. By the time we get to Tampa, you’ll be begging me to put my walls back up.”
I lean down and kiss her forehead. “No, I won’t. You’re a part of me, Remi Ward. There’s nothing you could say or do that will change that.”
Amusement plays across her face. “So, we’re going to drive off into the sunset and live happily ever after?”
I look at the sky and the dimming sun. There’s an explosion of colors. “Yes, that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
Her voice goes serious like a news anchor. “Florida man gives the woman that broke his heart another chance to prove how much she loves him.”
I laugh, leaning in for a kiss before we start on our journey.
As we pull out of the hotel drive, I look over at Remi sitting shotgun. She smiles back at me, playfully raising her brows. She’s the woman I want. There’s no rush to get married. Our future can wait until she feels like she’s on solid ground. As long as we’re together and committed, nothing else matters.
* * *
The End