Chapter Twenty-Four
The thing about the playoffs was that Eric was never sure when his last game would actually be. It was even harder to know when his last home game would be.
The last game ended up being an away game in Washington at the end of the first round of the playoffs. The score wasn’t even close, so Eric stood alone with his goal posts—his constant companions—and quietly counted down the last ten seconds.
When it was over, he gave the crossbar behind him a pat. “Thanks for everything, fellas. Treat the next generation well, okay?”
It was devastating to not even make it out of the first round, but Eric was touched by the D.C.
crowd’s standing ovation for him after the game.
The arena had put his picture on the big screens as the announcer reminded the crowd that this was Eric’s final game.
There had been plenty of Admirals fans in the building, but all of the Washington fans were applauding too.
Between the crushing blow of elimination and that touching display of affection from the fans, Eric was a blubbering mess when he finally made it to the locker room.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Scott, whose eyes were as red and wet as Eric’s. “I wanted to take us further.”
“We lost together,” Scott said firmly, even through his tears. “I’m just sorry your last game wasn’t at home.”
He hugged him, and then Carter piled on, and soon the entire team was hugging each other with Eric in the very center. He loved these guys so much.
The room was somber for a while, but it wasn’t long before Carter had picked the mood back up. “My last game,” he said, “is going to be legendary. I’m going to score five goals, and the last one is going to bust a hole right through Dallas Kent.”
Everyone laughed and cheered. Eric was grateful for Carter. He didn’t think he’d be able to stand it if his last time sharing a locker room with these guys was quiet and miserable.
Eric had had a quiet celebration of his own during their last regular season home game.
His family—parents, siblings, nieces and nephews—had all come down from Hamilton to watch the game, and they’d gone out afterward and had spent the next day together.
It had been nice, but Eric hadn’t been in a celebratory mood for a long time.
Not since Kyle had slammed that car door in his face.
It had been two months since that day they’d gone hiking.
Two months since he’d seen Kyle, or spoken to him.
He’d thought about texting. He’d thought about just showing up at the Kingfisher.
He thought about Kyle every single day. But Eric had had the playoffs to focus on, and he still believed that he’d done Kyle a favor by separating himself from him.
Being away from him hurt like he’d broken every bone in his body, but it was for the best. Just like a broken bone, this would heal in time.
But god, if only he could have introduced Kyle to his family.
He knew it would be a shock whenever he told his family that he was attracted to men.
It would be a bigger shock if he introduced Kyle as his boyfriend, but he was starting to not care about shocking people.
The truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about Kyle’s fierce declaration: You’re perfect for me.
And despite Eric’s hopelessly practical brain telling him otherwise, Eric knew it was true. His heart knew it was true.
Kyle had been the brightest thing in Eric’s life, and Eric was having a hard time finding joy in anything since he’d lost him.
His spare time had mostly been filled with having his living room redecorated to best complement his new painting.
Now he spent his nights staring at that painting, alone, and wishing he hadn’t gone through so much trouble to accommodate something so bleak.
Wondering if he should have instead made room in his life for something warmer.
Eric’s thoughts were consumed by Kyle during the team’s short flight home that night.
Maybe it was the emotional roller coaster of the playoffs, or maybe it was the cliff dive of officially ending his hockey career, but Eric found himself wondering if it wasn’t too late to try again with him.
Kyle could be with someone else now. He could have forgotten all about Eric. And wasn’t that what Eric wanted?
No. God. Even thinking about the possibility of that was agony. Eric didn’t want Kyle to be with anyone else. And Eric didn’t want to be with anyone but Kyle.
He stared out the window, watching the lights of New York City twinkle up through the darkness.
Hockey was over. That chapter of his life was officially done.
When he walked off this plane, he would be saying goodbye to his teammates, to his career.
And when he thought about the rest of his life, all he knew was that he wanted Kyle in it.
He needed to be fearless, one more time. This time with no masks, and no armor. He needed to go to Kyle with his heart in his hands and apologize for not giving him a chance. For not giving them a chance.
And god, he hoped he wasn’t too late.
Kyle froze when Eric walked into the Kingfisher. Hadn’t he just played his final game tonight? In Washington?
Kyle looked for Scott, but he wasn’t there. It made sense because Kip wasn’t working tonight. This was Eric, alone, and he was striding purposely toward Kyle.
What the hell was this? Was Eric sad about his career being over and was hoping for some distracting, no-strings sex with Kyle? There was no way Kyle was going to agree to that.
Probably.
He steeled himself as Eric approached and said, as blandly as possible, “Hey.”
“Hi.” Eric’s eyes were wide and uncertain. If he had more to say, he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to say it.
“What?” Kyle asked finally, patience wearing thin.
“I—” Eric glanced around the bar. “Is there somewhere we could talk? Just for a moment?”
“Why? You looking for some pick-me-up sex? Pass.” Kyle made a show of drying a perfectly dry beer stein, hoping to appear uninterested in Eric’s presence.
“No, that’s not why I’m here at all. I promise. I just... I’d really like to talk to you.”
“Again, why?”
“Because I need to apologize.”
Kyle scoffed. “Took you two months to figure that out, huh?”
“Yes,” Eric said earnestly. “It did. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you every day.”
Fuck. Kyle couldn’t help the way his heart raced at that. He’d thought about Eric constantly over the past two months with a mixture of anger, sadness, and regret. Looking at him now, so handsome in the suit he must have left the arena in, Kyle couldn’t deny that he still wanted him.
He spotted Aram lingering at the table of three very handsome men. “One sec,” he told Eric. He walked over to Aram and gently tapped his arm to get his attention.
“What’s up?” Aram asked.
“Can you watch the bar for a few minutes? Eric wants to talk to me about something in private.” Kyle knew how intriguing this sounded, but it was the best he could come up with.
“Sure,” Aram said, though he eyed him curiously.
Kyle walked away before there could be follow-up questions. He led Eric to the storeroom behind the bar. He closed the door firmly behind them, then stood facing Eric, unsure of what to expect.
Kyle folded his arms across his chest defensively. “I’ve only got a few minutes.”
“I’m sorry,” Eric said immediately. “I was wrong, and I’m so sorry. I ruined everything, and I wish I’d gone upstairs with you after that hike.”
Kyle frowned at him. “You regret not having sex two months ago?”
“No. I regret everything that could have come after having sex two months ago.”
Kyle’s heart stopped beating. Was this really happening? “What could have happened?”
Eric took a step toward him. “I could have told you how I really feel. That I have loved every moment we’ve spent together, whether it’s having sex or just talking. That I want to have more of those moments. Years of them.”
Kyle swallowed, his eyes burning. “Oh.” He let those words sink in, then recalled the opposite words Eric had said months ago. “What happened to people should only date people their own age? Because I haven’t magically aged fifteen years in the past two months.”
“I’m sorry I said that. I’m sorry for so many things.” Eric gazed imploringly at Kyle. “Do you hate me?”
Kyle relaxed his arms, and sighed. “I’ve tried to hate you.”
Eric’s lips curved up slightly. “Did it work?”
“No. Fuck, Eric. I can’t hate you. I want everything you just said. I’ve wanted it for months.”
Eric was so close now. His gaze kept darting away from Kyle, and he was making a meal of his bottom lip. Kyle would prefer to be the one doing that.
“I want to be with you, Kyle. I want to be your boyfriend. Partner. For as long as you’ll have me.”
Tears were flowing freely from Kyle’s eyes now. He didn’t care. He smiled wetly and said, “How dare you tell me this in the backroom at work.”
Eric chuckled and stepped toward him. “It wasn’t how I planned it.”
Kyle wrapped his arms around his neck. “You know I have to go back out there and serve customers after this, right?”
And then Eric’s lips were on his, and they were kissing wildly. Kyle’s body sang with relief after too many weeks of not having this. Eric gripped Kyle’s head, his fingers tangled in his hair, making a mess of it.
“We shouldn’t—” Kyle panted, breaking the kiss.
“I know,” Eric said, then kissed him again. His hand slipped under the hem of Kyle’s T-shirt, pushing it up to expose his stomach.
“Oh, fuck,” Kyle gasped. He thrust his hips forward so his crotch could make contact with Eric’s, and then went back to devouring him. He couldn’t believe this was really happening, and he was so overcome with desire that he was considering fucking Eric in this storeroom.
Eric suddenly stepped away. “Sorry,” he said, wiping his mouth with his forearm. His face was flush with arousal, and probably some embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have—I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay. I really don’t mind.”
Eric smiled at him like he couldn’t believe he was real. Kyle was sure he had the same expression on his own face.
“I want to go to Greece with you,” Eric blurted out.
“You do?”
“Yes. Soon. When can you go?”
“I—”
“And I was thinking...do you think Gus would sell this place? To me, I mean? And maybe to Scott too. I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him about it. But I think he’d love to co-own it with me, and you could be the manager and—”
Kyle cut him off with another kiss, but it was sloppy because he was laughing at Eric’s uncharacteristic babbling. “That all sounds incredible, but I need to finish my shift right now.”
“Okay. Right.” Eric kissed him again. “We should talk. After.”
“After,” Kyle agreed. “I’ll be done in an hour.”
“Come to my place?”
“It’s way past your bedtime. Are you sure?”
Eric leaned in and kissed him again. “Fuck bedtime. I’m retired.”