The L word
‘We couldnae have youse leaving without a proper send off,’ said Robbie.
‘This was all you?’ asked an incredulous Max.
‘Aye, and everyone else. We all wanted to say goodbye.’
Max walked across, and was greeted by everyone, including Bethan, which was a lovely surprise because he didn’t think he’d be seeing her again for another month. Joe was there with Dawn, looking slimmer than ever, as was Hope, Anita, Eve and Charlie, who gave him a loud clap on the back.
‘You’d better watch out for the lady boys, mate! I have buddies with some shocking stories from Bangkok. You’ve no idea until you get them back to the old bedroom, and instead of what you’re expecting, it’s a lot of what you’re not, if you know what I mean!’
‘We all know what you mean,’ said Eve. ‘You’ll be grand, Max. I spent a few months travelling around Asia in my twenties, and had the best time. It’s gorgeous. The food, the beaches—’
‘The sex workers!’ chipped in Charlie, who got a stern look from Eve.
‘Thailand is beautiful, and you’ll have a brilliant time,’ said Hope. ‘I’ve been there heaps going backwards and forwards from Oz. It's one of my favourite places in the world.’
‘You know me, mate,’ said Joe. ‘I’m more Benidorm than Bangkok, but I reckon you’ll have a blinding time.’
‘Thanks, Joe. You’re looking good.’
‘Feeling good too. Who knew all that rabbit food could make you feel like a million bucks.’
‘Umm, everyone,’ said Dawn, standing next to him. ‘To be fair, he’s stuck to his diet, and he’s started light jogging again. I got him one of those treadmills for the house. Prime!’
‘It helps get the steps in,’ said Joe with a bright smile.
‘I’m really happy for you,’ said Max. ‘And next year?’
‘I’ll be running the Clapham Half with you!’
‘Yes, you will,’ said Max, and then Robbie suggested getting drinks and ordering food because Max had to be up at 4 a.m., and so they didn’t have much time.
The run club already had a long table, and despite the pub being fairly busy, they had taken over one whole section.
Drinks were swiftly bought, food ordered, and they sat around talking like the oldest friends in the world.
It was one of the things Max loved most about Common People, from the moment he had joined, they had all felt like family.
It had always been so easy being with them, and now with Anita working at the sandwich shop, with Robbie and Eve together, and with Max seeing Hope’s therapist and almost dating Bethan, all their lives were intrinsically linked.
Charlie spoke about his new girlfriend, the girl at work he had liked forever and had eventually asked out.
They were taking it slowly, but he was optimistic that she might be The One.
With the Clapham Half over, Hope was getting ready for her annual trip down under with her husband, Neil.
She was excited for the break and to be home again in her beloved Australia.
‘Nothing beats the Aussie sunshine when you know the weather in London’s shit as,’ said Hope.
‘Thanks for that,’ replied Bethan. ‘I have nothing booked, and it looks like I’ll be here all winter.’
‘I don’t mind it,’ chipped in Joe, a glass of sparkling water in his hand.
He had even gone for a salad too, despite the comforting pub classics on the menu.
‘I love winter in London because more punters jump in cabs when it’s pissing down.
Plus, I love the cold mornings in the cab with a mug of Rosie Lee.
Course, in the old days it was also with a bacon sarnie, but these days it’s porridge with oat milk and blueberries. ’
Max loved sitting at that table with those people, talking, laughing, sharing stories, and seeing Robbie and Eve together, so in love, made him happy.
The one person he couldn’t keep his eyes off was Bethan, but it wasn’t just that she was beautiful, smart, funny, intelligent and could hold her own in any conversation, but that he was falling in love with her.
He had said the words out loud for the first time at his parents’ grave.
Love. He was falling in love with her, and he couldn’t stop himself.
It was like he was racing down a mountain road on a bicycle with no brakes, getting faster and faster, the road whizzing by in a blur, wind rushing past him and there was nothing he could do to stop himself.
He was falling madly in love with Bethan, and all he could do was hope that one day she might feel the same.
After dinner, Bethan excused herself because she needed to call a friend, and so she went outside.
It was the beginning of October and the nights were slowly drawing in.
It was still just about light, but the sun was almost down, and it would be dark soon.
Max waited for a few minutes and then walked outside, just as Bethan was hanging up her call.
‘Oh hi,’ she said with a smile. ‘I was just coming back inside.’
‘I know, I just thought it would be nice to have a moment alone.’
‘A moment alone?’
‘I’m leaving tomorrow for a month, and I wanted to say something.’
‘Okaay. Should I be concerned?’
Max laughed. ‘I hope not.’
‘Then please, say something.’
Max looked at Bethan outside of that pub.
It felt incredible that in twenty-four hours he would be on the other side of the world in Thailand, and she would still be in London.
They would be six thousand miles apart, and yet at that moment, it was barely a few feet.
He wanted to kiss her, hold her, and feel close to her, but he couldn’t.
Like the meandering pathway of grief, it would take patience and time, something he was getting used to.
‘I went to visit my parents’ graves today, and I told them about you.
I said how we were close to being together, but then I had messed it up.
I also told them that I was falling in love with you.
’ As he said the words, he looked at her and saw the look of surprise on her face.
‘I know it’s far too early to be throwing around the L word when it comes to us, Bethan, and I know that I really messed things up between us, but before I go, I just wanted to let you know that I am serious about you.
About us. I fucked up, but I’m getting the help I need.
I’m taking the time to be better, and maybe when I get back, it might be enough to convince you to give us another go.
I’m sorry if this is a lot, but I had to say it before I left. ’
Max looked at Bethan, at the confusion on her face.
It was clear she was struggling with it, and he couldn’t blame her.
She had given him a chance, and he had blown it.
She took a step closer to him, reached across and held his hands in hers.
Just the act of touching her, of holding her hands, and his heart leapt in his chest and he felt giddy with desire.
‘Thank you for saying that, Max, but the truth is, at the moment, I’m just not sure where I stand with us.
It took a lot for me to kiss you, to give us a chance after Jake, and it was heartbreaking when it blew up like that.
I like you, Max, a lot, I think you know that, but I don’t know if I can risk being in love at the moment. ’
‘I understand, but just know this, I won’t let you down again. I promise.’
‘I thought that before.’
‘I know, but I’m asking you to at least think about it while I’m gone. Please.’ he said, and he didn’t want to beg, but it was all he had left. He was taking a chance on love.
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘Thank you,’ said Max, as the door opened, and Robbie appeared.
‘There’s youse are. Are youse coming inside?’
‘Yes, we are,’ said Max, as Bethan let his hands go.
Max had said his bit, asked Bethan for another chance, and now he just had to wait until after his trip to hear her answer.
When he was with Bethan, he felt grounded, alive, content, and like the future had so many possibilities.
He imagined them dating, then moving into a flat together after a year or so, feeling so grown-up and ready to tackle what was to come next.
He thought of marrying her, of buying their first place together, and then maybe one day, children, if that’s what she wanted.
When he thought of Bethan, he saw all of that with her.
Every piece of the jigsaw puzzle was there; they just had to put it together.
They walked back inside and sat down. The table was full of empty glasses, half-finished drinks, plates of food, condiments, and it was messy and full, and Max couldn’t have been happier. After they had sat down, Hope stood up, a glass of lemonade in her hand.
‘I’d like to make a toast. First to Max, I hope you have a bonza time in Thailand, and get everything you need from it.
Travel safe and we can’t wait to see you back at run club.
Secondly, well done to everyone for running the Clapham Half.
Charlie for running a sub two-hour time, well done.
To Joe, there’s next year and we’re just so glad you’re still here, mate.
Lastly, I’d just like to say that being with you guys, meeting up for Common People, running together, it means the world to me, it really does.
If you’d have told me when I was at rock bottom, that one day I’d be sober and in charge of a run club that felt like a family, I’d have called you a crazy bastard, but here we are.
This is what it is all about. So, please raise your glasses for a toast to Common People! ’
‘Common People!’ everyone said in unison, knocking their glasses together over the table, before they all took sips of their drinks as one.