Chapter 3 #3
What? I didn’t realize that.
Daylen waves for the waiter and orders drinks for everyone, including a strawberry daiquiri for himself. I can’t help but laugh. I just told the girls how much I dislike men who order fruity drinks.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
I take in his entire ridiculous appearance and answer, “We were recently having a few conversations about red flags and, to be honest, you check a lot of those boxes.”
His head jerks back in obvious shock. “Like what?”
I do my best to hide my bemused smirk. “You’re wearing sandals and a necklace.” I nod toward his phone on the table. “And your cell phone is an Android.” I say Android like it’s a bad word because nothing fucks up a group chat like the dumbass who uses an Android.
He goes into a whole thing about me being petty and a negative person. No shit.
He then goes on to boast about his conquests.
I make a note to add that to my red flag list. This guy might very well encompass every red flag I’ve ever imagined.
He’s beyond unappealing. I can’t believe any woman would fall for him.
Yes, he’s mainstream attractive and a giant of a man, but everything else about him is so… unsexy.
What’s with his facial hair? He can’t even shave properly. Women could never get away with being so improperly groomed.
I narrow my eyes at this disgusting, unhygienic beast. “I feel like your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.”
He has a smug look on his face. “Sugar lips, I’m so well-equipped that when I was born, I got a girth certificate.”
What. A. Douchebag.
Our drinks arrive and there’s more conversation, but I can’t focus on anything other than the fact that Daylen Humblecut may be the most annoying man in existence.
He loves to be the center of attention, constantly saying outrageous, immature things.
He even stands and finds some perverted way to loudly announce he’s going to the bathroom.
I don’t think this man has fully evolved. He’s like a caveman.
Fortunately, he and Vance disappear like schoolgirls running to gossip in the bathroom.
While I’d love to turn my attention to Champ, I instead turn to Sulley and see her looking like a deer in headlights.
She’s pale, and her skin looks clammy. There’s something about Vance that clearly upset her.
I squeeze her arm as I lean over and whisper, “Are you okay?”
She nods, but I can tell she’s not managing very well. She almost looks scared. I think she’s physically shaking.
With their attention elsewhere, everyone else at the table starts laughing. I must have missed the punchline. Layla kisses Presley’s cheek. “This is why I married you, mi amor. You’re so funny.”
He nuzzles his nose into her. “I thought you married me because I’m good in bed?”
She smiles at him. “See, you’re funny.”
Everyone laughs again except Sulley. She’s practically frozen in place. What am I missing? What happened between her and Vance?
I gently wrap my fingers around her arm, hoping to distract her from whatever is bothering her. “Let’s go dance.”
I want to dance with Champ, but I think Sulley is in desperate need of a distraction. My hitting on Champ will have to wait.
She nervously fidgets with her shirt. “I’m...I’m not a very good dancer.”
I wink at her. “It’s a good thing I am.” I stand and announce to the table, “We’re heading down to the dance floor if anyone would like to join us.” I stare hopefully at Champ, and he smiles. Good lord, he has perfect features. That face will look damn good buried between my legs in a few hours.
Champ, Layla, and Presley like that idea, and they decide to join us. Ooh, maybe I can help Sulley and grind up on Champ all at the same time.
Our group walks down the stairs toward the overly crowded dance floor.
As we find our groove, I can see Sulley begin to relax.
With her close by my side, I wrap my arm around Champ from behind and begin to sway my hips to the beat of the music.
He joins me in my movements. He’s got great rhythm, but he never turns around to grind himself onto me.
That’s a first. Usually a man immediately does that when I touch them from behind.
All men ever want is contact with their dicks.
Champ eventually drifts away into the sea of people, but I don’t give chase. Kennedy Jeffries chases no man.
Sulley and I dance without a care in the world until I feel a masculine presence pressing up against me from behind. My lips curl in amusement. They always come back for me.
I’m about to turn around to wrap my arms around Champ when an unfamiliar voice tickles my eardrums. “You got a man?”
Crap, it’s not Champ dancing with me. I turn around and find a guy who has no chance with a woman like me. I stare him straight in the eyes and calmly say, “I am one.”
His smirk immediately disappears, and he turns as white as a ghost before spinning on his heels and running away. Sulley spits out in laughter. “Oh my god, that was amazing. And genius.”
I have a huge grin on my face. “Always works. Every single time. Easiest way to get the wrong guys to leave you alone.”
We continue dirty dancing with each other. I’m happy to see her uneasiness from earlier nowhere in sight.
At some point, Vance and Daylen approach us. Before I realize what’s happening, Daylen grabs me by the waist like I weigh nothing and carries me away from Sulley. I pound my fists against his rock-solid body. “Let me go, you animal.”
“Stop fighting,” he growls. “You’re like one of those annoying flies that pesters you throughout a meal.”
I continue pounding my fists until he finally sets me down on the other side of the dance floor. I shove his chest. “What’s your fucking problem? Don’t ever touch me without invitation again, you buffoon.”
He rolls his eyes. “Trust me, I have no interest in touching you. Nasty bitch isn’t exactly my cup of tea.”
Screw this guy. “I drink coffee, asshole. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? What was that about?”
“Vance needs to chat with Sulley. I was giving them privacy.”
I push him again. “You’re still too close to me. You smell like bologna.” He doesn’t. He happens to smell better than I would have thought, but I won’t give him the satisfaction.
“Is that another red flag of yours?” he spits out.
“It’s not a red flag. No woman likes a man who smells like processed, cured meat, you idiot.”
He makes a look of disgust. “It takes a lot for me to dislike another person, but I think I might actually hate you. You’re so…mean and miserable.”
I cross my arms. “Let me put on my glasses so I can see if I give a fuck.” I place pretend glasses on my face. “Nope, I don’t.”
His eyes take me in, but not in the way I’m accustomed to men looking at me.
“I see you, Kennedy Jeffries. I see the kind of woman you are. I’d bet Vance’s dick that you were one of those girls who never had any friends because you’re such a horrible person.
I’m guessing there was no goodbye party for you when you left New York.
More like a party when the Wicked Witch of the West left town.
Usually, red carpets are used to welcome people.
I bet there was one rolled out when you left the city. ”
“Says the man in sandals who feels compelled to announce it when he goes to the bathroom,” I immediately reply, not letting him know how much his words sting me.
He sighs. “How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?”
I immediately respond, “With no underwear, in case they want to kiss my ass.”
He cracks a small, lopsided smile. “That one was funny.”
I roll my eyes. “So thrilled to have amused you.” I look toward Vance and Sulley. It seems like they’re fighting. Nodding their way, I ask, “What happened with them? Obviously they have history, and not the good kind.”
He shrugs. “Not my business to discuss, especially with you.”
“Thanks for being so helpful, Mr. Perfect,” I announce with a sarcastic tone.
He flashes me a huge grin. “Ah, you like perfection. Shocking. I don’t mind perfect women. Did you know that the most perfect woman in history is Ms. Pac-Man?”
“Because she has no brain?” I ask. “Just like you probably prefer women.”
He shakes his head. “No. It’s because for twenty-five cents, she’ll just open wide and keep swallowing until she dies. You should try it.”
I stare at him in disbelief. If there were a poster of a man who encompasses all that I despise in men, it’s this one. I don’t think I’ve ever disliked anyone more, and that’s saying a lot because I dislike most people.
I shake my head. “I need to go find a real man.” I look around until my eyes find Champ dancing in a group of people. I point his way. “Like him. He’s gorgeous, sexy, and,” I look him up and down, “he doesn’t dress like his mother wasn’t home to dress him for elementary school.”
Daylen’s jaw tics for a few moments before he relaxes. “You should hit on Champ. I’m sure he could never resist a woman like you.”
“Thank you for the permission. I think I will. Maybe I’ll take him home and fuck him tonight.”
Daylen fails miserably at biting back a smile. “Good luck with that, Maleficent.”
What the hell? Does he honestly think I can’t get Champ if I want to? Screw Daylen. I’m definitely fucking Champ tonight, and I’ll send this ogre the photos to prove it.
Suddenly I hear Sulley shouting at Vance and then see her run away in tears. “What did your asshole friend do to her?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Vance is the best man I know.”
I shove him in the chest and mumble, “You’re clueless,” before I leave and run after Sulley.