Chapter 4
FOUR
KENNEDY
Last night was intense. Sulley was inconsolable.
I felt terrible for her. Palmer and I took her home and let her cry herself to sleep.
We decided it wouldn’t be right to leave her alone, so we borrowed some clothing and invited ourselves to stay over.
We didn't ask any questions, though we were curious as hell.
We just slept in her bed with her, holding her until she eventually fell asleep.
When she woke in the morning, she told us the truth about her long, crazy history with Vance.
They grew up together in Montana. He used to be her brother Finn’s best friend, but Vance betrayed him just before Finn died in the line of duty.
Vance has been shunned by their hometown because of everything that went down.
He can’t even show his face there. It’s one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever heard.
Palmer and I sat in stunned silence before vowing to support her as best we can.
I meant it. This poor woman has been through so much.
More than I ever realized. I remember Reagan referencing some trauma in Sulley’s life, but I had no idea just how bad it was.
I can’t believe I was so wrong about her.
All my preconceived notions have officially been thrown out the window.
Sulley is still very damaged by the loss of her brother, even though he’s been gone for over five years.
It gives me a huge pang of guilt over how much I’ve abandoned my own brother.
On my way home from Sulley’s, I decided to text him and invite him to lunch.
Much to my surprise, he responded immediately and seemed very welcome to it.
I’m on my way to meet him now. I’m nervous as hell.
I can’t remember the last time we were alone together.
I visit very infrequently. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a meal alone with my brother since I was in high school, which would have made him ten years old.
He’s seventeen now. I can’t believe he’ll be headed off to college in a year.
I have no clue where he wants to go or what he wants to study.
Why have I abandoned him? Nothing that happened was his fault. I doubt he even knows about it.
I arrive at the trendy, downtown restaurant on Rittenhouse Square right on time.
I offered to drive out to the suburbs, but he wanted to come into town.
I suppose he has his license now. It’s hard for me to believe he drives.
I still think of him as a little boy with a huge smile who never wanted anything from me but a little attention.
Something I rarely gave him. Hearing Sulley’s heartbreaking story has me up in my feels and full of regret over how unfairly I’ve treated Pierce.
When I walk in, I see him standing at a table and realize he’s no longer a little boy.
He’s a man. Though not nearly as tall as our father, about my height at a little over six feet, he’s a handsome man.
Whereas I resemble our father, he resembles our mother with blond hair and brown eyes.
He gives me that always-present, familiar smile and holds open his arms for a hug.
“Kennedy, I’m so stoked you called. Mom and Dad are gonna be so jelly that I get to hang with you. ”
Holy shit, his voice got deep. It’s weird to hear him like this.
I tentatively hug him in return while he squeezes me like he’s genuinely happy to see me. I admit, “I don’t care much about them, but I’m happy to see you. I’m sorry I haven’t reached out until now.”
He pulls away and shrugs in a totally unaffected manner.
“It’s chill. I’m happy to see you too. I’m super stoked that you’re back in town.
Dad got us Beavers’ season tickets on the floor so we can come to every home game.
I can’t wait to watch you play in person all the time instead of on TV.
I love how tough you play, especially that triple-double against Dallas last year when you had thirty-two rebounds, eleven points, and twelve assists. ”
“You watch my games?” I ask in surprise.
He jerks back a bit with a stunned look on his face. “Of course. My sister is a fucking star. Dad and I never miss a game. It’s kind of our thing. He had a huge theater installed in his house just so we can watch them on the big screen with surround sound.”
I lift a skeptical eyebrow. “I doubt that’s why he did it. I’m sure it’s to watch game tape.”
Pierce shakes his head. “No way. He’s obsessed with watching you play.
He knows all your stats like the back of his hand.
He tells everyone about you all the time.
Watching you play is legit his favorite thing to do.
Mom comes over sometimes and watches with us.
Dad’s constantly reminding her that you were always destined for greatness. ”
I plop into my seat in a bit of shock. I can’t contain my surprise at this bit of information. “They watch it, like, together?” I ask. “In the same room?”
He chuckles. “Of course. Their divorce wasn’t ugly.
They’re totally chill. Rooster—he’s my best friend—his parents’ divorce was chopped.
They can’t even be in the same room as each other.
Mom and Dad aren’t like that at all. They sit together at all my football games.
Rooster’s parents won’t even sit on the same set of bleachers, let alone next to each other.
” He swallows nervously. “I was thinking maybe you could come to a game or two of mine this fall. My senior night is in October. Your season will be over by then. It would be sweet if my superstar sister was there.” He scratches his head.
“You’ve never seen me play, and this will be it for me. I’m not playing ball in college.”
“Why not?” I ask. “I’m sure Dad is pissed.” He lives for the glory. He probably hates that his only son isn’t following in his footsteps and playing football in college.
He twists his lips. “Nah, just the opposite. Dad was the one against me playing. He told me to just go to college and have fun without worrying about the pressures of playing ball.”
Huh?
Pierce lets out a laugh. “You look surprised, bruh.”
I lean back in my chair, purposefully ignoring his ridiculous teen lingo. “I am. I assumed he’d push you to be a star like him.”
He shakes his head. “Nope. Not at all. He said he could tell it wasn’t my passion and that I’d grow to hate it.
He said he just wants me to do what makes me happy, and he doesn’t think football does.
” Pierce leans forward a bit toward me and places his elbows on the table.
“You know what? He was right. As soon as that decision was made, it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I guess I felt the burden of being Jett Jeffries’ son my whole life, and once that was gone, I felt great.
Dad knew it. He's the best. It took Mom a little longer to come to terms with it, but eventually she was on board too.”
I can only shake my head. “I’m sorry, are we talking about Ginny and Jett Jeffries?”
He smirks. “Yep. Dude, I don’t know what went down with you all, but it would be fly if you could get along.
It’s kind of a big year for me. I want you around.
” His face turns more serious. “You’re the only sister I’ve got.
I want us to be…friends. I want to get to know you. I want you to get to know me.”
I fiddle nervously with my menu. I wasn’t planning on getting this deep with him, really only wanting to catch up and maybe start to form a relationship.
In an attempt to redirect the conversation, I ask, “Do you know where you want to go to school?”
He shrugs. “Somewhere close to home. I don’t want to go far, especially now that you’re living and playing in town.” He smiles hopefully, and I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. This kid, my brother, just wants a relationship with me, and I’ve ignored him for years. Years.
He starts talking about how much he loves science and wants to be a doctor, but my stomach is flip-flopping. From his sweet demeanor to his longing for a relationship with me and his description of our parents, this has all taken me off guard.
The waitress finally approaches, and we place our orders.
I do my best to let my walls down a bit, and we talk like friends for the rest of the meal.
I’m realizing he’s not a little kid anymore, despite his use of certain words I’m not sure I know the meaning of.
He’s just a sweet young man who is aching for some attention from his big sister.
The age gap suddenly feels much less than when we were younger.
One thing is clear. He doesn’t have any clue what happened, and he definitely didn’t experience the same fucked up childhood as me.
I see no signs of damage other than wanting his sister in his life.
It’s like we have two different sets of parents.
His were attentive while mine were anything but. I have no idea what to make of it all.
I leave lunch feeling completely off kilter and in need of someone to talk to.
Daylen fucking Humblecut’s words from last night about me not having any friends are rattling around in my head.
He wasn’t wrong. I don’t have a lot of friends.
I’ve known my new teammates for less than a week, and I’m already closer to them than I was with any of my New York teammates.
I vow to make continued efforts to form real friendships with these women. None of them have been anything but kind and welcoming to me.
I don’t want to burden Sulley with my family drama. It seems wrong to talk to her about my sibling when she’s so messed up from losing her own.
I’m not the kind of girl who has ever talked about personal things with other women, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I decide to go to Shay and Alyssa’s apartment. Alyssa and I hit it off right away when we went shopping. Having a bit of a shared history helped.