Chapter Seven #2
Evan chuckled under his breath. “I do okay with some things.” He lowered his eyes to his plate, his mood suddenly somber. “Is that what you see when you look at me? A rock star? A celebrity?”
Jesse heard a hint of sorrow in Evan’s voice.
He looked at him to see it reflected in the shadow of pain on his face.
It reminded him of when he asked Evan about why he had left the music world behind and how Evan skated around the question.
There was more to his leaving than wanting to explore the world.
Had he grown tired of people only looking at him as a performer?
From what he already learned of Evan’s personality, saying he was reclusive would be an understatement.
Could he no longer stand having cameras shoved in his face everywhere he went, having reporters trying to dig out the dirty bits of his personal life?
It couldn’t have been easy for him, being gay and trying to hide it to attain the highest level of success possible.
Or did something else happen to drive Evan away from music?
He couldn’t imagine anything being strong enough to make himself turn away from it.
Jesse brushed the backs of his fingers down Evan’s cheek.
“I’m not going to lie and say I don’t admire the music you’ve done, or that I’ve never watched DVDs of your concerts and sat in awe of your stage performance.
But just because your music has inspired me, it wouldn’t have been enough for me to be here with you like we are now.
When I said things felt different with you, I meant you’re the first person I’ve ever been so attracted to beyond just the physical. ”
He laid his hand over Evan’s and threaded their fingers together.
“And last night, I felt something with you I’ve never felt before.
Something deep inside me responded to you, and I wanted you like I’ve never wanted anyone.
I wouldn’t have given it up to you if I didn’t feel that way.
That’s what I’ve been waiting for. For a guy I felt comfortable with, someone I connected with deeper than just thinking they were hot.
” He paused, his next words coming softer. “Someone I felt safe with.”
Evan gazed at him. Jesse felt comfortable, safe, with him.
He wondered if Jesse was always so honest and open with his emotions.
This was the exact thing he had feared, that he would find himself unable to resist wanting to be with him, that Jesse would genuinely like him and want more from him than only a single night of pleasure.
Yet despite the trepidation, the joy he felt overpowered it to the point where he could delude himself into believing he had every right to be happy with Jesse.
Jesse gave him bright smile. “And how could I be attracted to you for your celebrity status? The Evan Arden I know is just a wicked sexy guy who hangs out in questionable parts of town desperate to catch a glimpse of the greatest singer he’s ever had the privilege of listening to.”
“I can’t argue with that,” Evan laughed.
Jesse bumped him playfully on the shoulder with his shoulder, then turned back to his food. When the last bites were eaten, Evan lifted the tray and set it on the nightstand. Jesse breathed out a contented sigh and slid down on the bed, lying on his back and stretching out.
Evan reclined on his side and propped his head up on his hand, tickling circles and swirls over Jesse’s chest with his fingertips. “I still think it’s amazing you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I still think it’s amazing you’re gay. All the times I’ve listened to your music, watched and read interviews with you, I never got the impression you were into guys.” He grinned up at Evan. “I fantasized that you were, though.”
“Now that puts all sorts of beautiful images in my head. I can just envision you lying in bed, stroking yourself, listening to one of my CDs with a magazine I was in open beside you.”
“You don’t think I’m weird for fantasizing about you?”
“No. I fantasized about you after I first saw you. I even dreamed about you and woke up to a mess all over my sheets.”
“I hope I lived up to what you dreamed about.”
“You surpassed it.”
Evan bent his head down and kissed him. Jesse weaved his fingers in Evan’s hair.
He heaved his weight up against him to put Evan on his back and rolled on top of him.
Evan caught him behind his head and pulled him down harder to his mouth.
He thrust his tongue against Jesse’s and arched his hips up to him.
Jesse’s entire body warmed as desire ignited his temperature.
He ground his hard cock against Evan’s hidden away in his pants, and the short, high moan that passed from Evan’s mouth to his amped his passion up even more.
He braced himself above Evan on both arms, breaking the kiss but keeping their lips touching, and thrust against him as he would if he were inside him.
Evan took in a quick breath, whispering “Jess” as he exhaled.
Jesse grabbed the top of Evan’s pants and started to pull them down.
Evan caught Jesse’s wrist. “Let’s…let’s shower first.”
Jesse fought to refocus from his physical need and met Evan’s gaze.
Despite Evan’s attempt to hide it, he saw a flicker of nervousness in his eyes and the slight trembling in his fingers further betrayed him.
With defying speed, Jesse’s mind formed an analysis of the enigma under him.
For all his success and fame, for all the people who admired and adored him, Evan wasn’t one who trusted easily.
And yet, Evan had welcomed him into his home, so did that mean Evan wanted to trust him?
From deep inside, he knew the answer was yes, and he would work to prove to Evan he could trust him.
Jesse smiled and rubbed his nose against Evan’s. “Yeah, I haven’t showered since before my gig last night. I’m icky, aren’t I?”
Evan released the breath he’d been holding with a single short laugh. “Neither have I. So I guess we’re both icky.”
Jesse gave him one more light kiss on the lips, then slid off him and the bed.
He stood with his back to Evan, using the excuse of stretching his arms over his head to allow Evan an eyeful of the smooth skin of his back and tight curves of his ass.
He glanced over his shoulder, and at the open lust he saw in Evan’s eyes, he knew he had succeeded in balancing Evan’s mood again.
“I just have to run out to my truck to get my bag first,” Jesse said.
“I’ll get it for you. You jump in the shower. I have an extra toothbrush in the cabinet under the sink you can have if you want.”
Jesse moved toward the bathroom. “Thanks.”
He found the unopened toothbrush and brushed his teeth, then turned the shower on.
When he stepped under the hot flow, every part of him, save one, went limp at the pressure and heat massaging his body.
A small groan purred in his throat at how good it felt to be in a shower where the flow was more than a trickle and the hot water didn’t fade in and out every two minutes.
He washed his body, then grabbed Evan’s shampoo to wash his hair.
While rubbing in conditioner, he heard Evan drop his duffel bag on the bathroom floor.
“Awe, this is so cute. You have all my albums in your CD wallet.”
Jesse cracked open the glass shower door and peeked out, smiling. “Snoop around much?”
Evan held up the wallet as if showing him something Jesse had never seen. “It was under your bag. Look, they’re even right in front before any others. That must mean they’re your favorite.”
“Either that, or I want to get past them quick to the real music,” Jesse teased, ducking back into the shower.
“Ouch,” Evan chuckled. “Let’s see what else you got in here. You can learn a lot about a person from what kind of music they listen to. We have Black Eyed Peas, Pink, Queen, okay those are all good.”
Jesse laughed listening to him.
“Hmm, Mozart concertos. So you are a classical buff.”
“Mozart is my boy,” Jesse said, rinsing conditioner from his hair. “I played classical piano from when I was old enough to sit at the keys until I was fifteen.”
“That explains a lot.” Evan flipped another page and deepened his voice, making it rough, “Metallica!”
Jesse laughed harder, shaking his head at him.
“What the…Dr. Dre, The Chronic?”
Jesse opened the door again. “It’s a classic. I have the new 50 Cent in there, too. What? You don’t like rap?”
“No, I love it. I just can’t see your skinny white butt cruising the streets of Chicago with The Chronic bumping out of your busted ass pickup truck.”
Jesse forced himself to look serious. “Are you about done now?”
“No, I’m not even halfway through.”
Jesse gave him a playful glare from under his wet hair. “Why don’t you put the CDs down, shut your pretty mouth, and get in the shower.”
Evan placed the wallet on the sink counter and pushed his pants off his hips. “Yeah, I guess I do have some more schooling to do with you.”
Jesse grinned as he watched Evan’s pants fall to the floor. “Just be careful. I wouldn’t want you to fall and break a hip or anything.”
“That’s it! You’re going down!”
Evan jumped in the shower and grabbed Jesse, pressing his lips to his, both laughing through the kiss.
He raked his fingers up the back of Jesse’s hair, took a fistful, and yanked his head back to look into his eyes, a smirk lifting one corner of his lips.
“If you keep up with your smart mouth, I’ll just have to keep punishing you. ”
Jesse bumped his rigid organ against Evan’s. “You have no idea how cocky I can be. And I think you’re a bit of a sadist, anyway.”
“Which works out since I think you’re a bit of a masochist.”
“With you I am.” Jesse stepped behind Evan and nudged him under the flow. He combed his fingers through Evan’s hair to get it saturated, then snatched the shampoo. “But that’s not how I usually am. This one time at a club, I almost ripped out a guy’s nipple ring for trying to get rough with me.”