Chapter Thirty-four #4
In less than a single quick heartbeat, Jesse went to his knees in the snow and pulled Evan into his arms. Evan’s arms went around him in return, his hands gripped the back of Jesse’s coat in two fists, his body shook with a hard sob.
The weeks of pain and loneliness he had fought so hard to keep down overwhelmed Jesse’s spirit.
Silent tears left his eyes as he held Evan to him.
“I don’t hate you, Ev. I could never hate you.
And no, I’m not happy without you. Every day since we’ve been apart I’ve felt like I’ve been stumbling through a dream, no longer recognizing the things I was doing.
I’ve wanted to call you a hundred times a day and tell you how much I wanted you back, but just like you were afraid of hurting my career, I was afraid of doing the same to yours, and that’s the only reason I walked away when you told me to go. ”
He sat back and cupped Evan’s face in both hands, his eyes unwavering as he looked into Evan’s. “You’re the love of my life. My soul-mate. And even if I act angry or upset, nothing will ever change that. If there’s a time beyond eternity, that’s how long I will love you.”
“Jess.” Evan collapsed into Jesse’s arms again. “I love you. I love you so much. Please, tell me I’m yours again and that you’re mine. I need to hear it.”
Jesse held Evan tighter with one arm and gently placed his other hand on the back of Evan’s head.
“You’re mine and I’m yours. We belong to each other.
Even when we were apart, that never changed.
I’m going to worship you every day, just as you’ll worship me, for the rest of our lives.
” He drew back slightly and smiled as he brushed Evan’s hair from his forehead.
“Even if you did get snot all over my seven hundred dollar leather coat.”
Evan choked out a laugh.
Jesse noticed Evan’s fingers were wet and chaffed, and now that he wasn’t holding him, Evan shivered. He wrestled out of his coat and flung it around Evan’s shoulders.
“No, don’t,” Evan said, trying to stop him. “You’ll freeze.”
Jesse gave the coat a tug around Evan’s neck and took both of his hands in his. “I just got you back. I’m not going to lose you to pneumonia.” He rubbed his hands over Evan’s. He held them to his mouth, softly kissed his fingers, and blew warm breath over them.
Evan stretched his fingers and touched the tips to Jesse’s jaw. Jesse lifted his gaze. Evan leaned forward, and their lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. They stayed together for a long moment, before each slowly opened his eyes and sat back.
“I have something for you,” Evan said, reaching in the front pocket of his pants. He retrieved a small wooden box and held it out.
Jesse took it and said teasingly, “Great. We’ve just gotten back together, and you’re already one up by getting me a Christmas present when I don’t have anything for you.”
A soft smile graced Evan’s lips. “You’ve saved my life by sharing yours with me. Nothing material could ever surpass that.”
Jesse caressed Evan’s cheek with his fingers. He lowered his hand and opened the lid of the box.
A ring of white gold edged in yellow gold lay inside on a pillow of royal blue silk.
The large square cut diamond in the center rivaled the stars for brilliance.
Set into the yellow gold were diamond chips.
Traveling around the white gold center of the band was the Greek meander, a pattern that could continue forever without breaking.
Jesse swallowed to free his tight throat and lifted the ring. He saw an inscription on the inside of the band, All my love forever, Evan.
Evan carefully took the ring from Jesse’s fingers and held his left hand steady as he slipped it onto Jesse’s left ring finger.
“It’s your match to my alexandrite. They’re our reminders to ourselves of our love and commitment, but hopefully, someday, we’ll have other rings that will tell the world we belong to each other. ”
Jesse took Evan’s left hand in his left hand and entwined their fingers so the two rings were side by side. “I would bind myself to you in every way. I can live my life without fans and fame. I can’t live it without you.”
Evan laid his other hand on Jesse’s cheek. “There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to be with you. There’s nothing in my life that I need more than you.” He met Jesse in another tender kiss.
As they eased back from the kiss, both rose and stood at the edge of the grave, each silently saying his farewell. Hand in hand, they turned and walked back to the Escalade.
When they climbed into the SUV, as if gravity pushed them together, they met over the center console in a firm embrace. Both breathed soft sighs into the other’s mouth as their tongues touched. With his lips still on Jesse’s, Evan whispered, “Let’s go back to your room.”
Jesse sat back in his seat, taking Evan’s hand again. “Are you staying in a hotel or with your mom?”
“I checked into your hotel and dropped my bags off in my room about five minutes before I met my mom down at the banquet room. And I just happen to be on the same floor as you thanks to Brandon letting me know your room number.” Evan grinned at Jesse as he pulled onto the street.
“I was going to get my time with you one way or another.”
Jesse laughed softly. “Why do I feel like I’ve been the subject of a conspiracy?”
Evan chuckled and turned his gaze to the road. He sat quiet for a moment, his smiled faded. “Greg told me you’ve been trying to get out of performing with me on New Year’s Eve and you’ve decided to not join me on the road.”
“Yeah, but I was talking more than I was backing it up. Greg knows that, and that’s why he hasn’t worked to find a replacement band for you.” Jesse looked at him and winked. “You know me and my mouth.”
Evan’s eyes lingered on Jesse’s lips. “Yeah, I do.”
Jesse’s mischievous smirk lit his lips. “So, if you don’t mind, I’ll be standing beside you on stage New Year’s Eve, and we’ll be joining you on the road in February.”
“I certainly don’t mind.”
Evan forced his attention back to the road, but Jesse continued to gaze at him.
“What is it?” Evan asked.
Jesse smiled. Evan always knew when he wanted to ask him something. “It’s just, with all the thinking I’ve done in the past couple months, I started to get the idea the only reason you decided to make a new album and tour again was because you thought it was what I wanted you to do.”
Jesse waited for Evan to respond and with each second of the long pause, he knew the answer.
“Wasn’t it?” Evan replied.
“No. I wanted you to come back because you wanted to. Not for me. You seemed so happy when you began recording, it never even hit me that you didn’t want to do it until after I was able to step back and look at everything.”
“I was happy at first, but it was only because you were there with me. And I’ll be happy touring when you join me, but I could be just as happy singing with you as my only audience for the rest of my life.”
Jesse laid his head on Evan’s shoulder and wrapped his right arm across Evan’s chest.
They reached the hotel, and Evan tossed his rental keys to the valet as he followed Jesse in. When they reached their floor, Jesse turned to him. “How obvious would it be if you moved your bags into my room?”
“Not that obvious. Even if housekeeping is suspicious, who cares? They can’t prove anything.”
Jesse went to Evan’s room with him to get his bags. He grabbed one of Evan’s suitcases and looked at him with a little grin. “I assume you came prepared.”
Evan chuckled as he collected his other two bags and headed out of the room. “I did.”
“That’s good, because I don’t have anything.” Jesse’s voice became subdued as they walked up the hall to his room. “It’s mental, I know, but I felt like if I bought stuff for sex, it’d mean I was getting ready to be with someone else, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that.”
“Then you really haven’t been with anyone else?”
Jesse shook his head as he unlocked the door to his suite. “No, I haven’t.”
“Neither have I.” Evan leaned close to his ear. “I’ve been surviving off wet dreams about you.”
Jesse laughed and gave him a playful shove as he opened the door.
Achilles greeted them with a wagging tail and spinning in circles.
Evan barely had a chance to touch the dog’s head before Jesse grabbed him by the upper arm, hauled him up, and slammed against him in a hungry kiss.
Evan’s arms went around him as Jesse pushed him through the suite’s living room toward the bedroom.
As they passed over the threshold to the bedroom, Jesse broke the kiss and looked down at Achilles.
He petted him, then closed the bedroom door to keep him out.
He turned to face Evan and saw him walking along the king-sized bed, the fingers of one hand brushing the comforter.
Jesse’s breath slipped from his lungs. He had never forgotten how gracefully Evan could move, but seeing him gliding by the bed, each movement revealing his desire, reinforced just how beautiful Evan truly was.
Evan retrieved a bottle of lube and sat on the edge of the bed.
He leaned back on his arms, slowly lifting his gaze in one of the most sensual looks Jesse had ever seen.
Jesse walked toward him, taking his sweater off on the way.
As Jesse neared, Evan spread his thighs farther apart to invite him to stand between them.
Jesse did, and combed his fingers through Evan’s hair.
Evan put his hands on Jesse’s hips, taking a long moment to admire his tight, wiry torso. “You look even more gorgeous.”
“So do you.” Jesse pulled Evan’s sweater off. He ran his fingertips over his toned chest, his touch having lost no memory of Evan’s body.